A Very, Very Naughty Girl

"Well that was partly my strategy and as my earlier novels were reprinted my name was changed to Greer Gregory, formerly Greer Walsh. I wanted to be known as an international writer, not another New Zealand Katherine Mansfield wannabe. You should blame the New Zealand media for not sniffing up leads. It was published widely that I'd won the New Zealand fiction writer scholarship to London with a small accommodation allowance for three years. And then it was often reported in the British press and literary magazines I was a New Zealander and often mentioned when I won awards. But I wanted to remain out of the attention of the New Zealand media who'd attempt to brand me as a New Zealander. In the second year of my scholarship when Archer and I became engaged and married three months later at my request no mention was made that I was a New Zealander. If fact his parents were openly relieved to receive the request."

"Well darling you have recovered your true identity."

"Yes I appear to be widely recognized in the town centre."

"Darling, your interview and I imagine the bikini picture have been published in many newspapers around New Zealander, according to my husband who's seen the clips posted in the newsroom. I would imagine headings like, 'Celebrated Kiwi Novelist Returns Home and Dives Into Bikini' would be the norm."

Greer threw up her hands? "Well does it really matter? I stupidly gave that interview. Perhaps that was meant to happen."

Annie kissed her and said, "Come to dinner tonight. We eat early. Gavin is usually home at 4:30 looking for a drink so come at that time."

"Should I wear my bikini?"

"Save my marriage by not doing that darling."

Greer had just sat down with Gavin and Annie when her phone went.

"Christ, I'm sorry. I should have turned it off."

"If I turned my phone off I'd be out of business," Gavin said. "Go own answer it."

"Hi it's Greer...."

She finished the call a few minutes later. "Did you take much of that in?"

Annie said, "TV1 is doing a half-hour special interview with you Thursday evening here at the beach using an Outside Broadcasting Unit and it will go live at 7:00. You said only if a $5000 fee was donated on your behalf to our surf club. End of story. Good girl. I thought you'd turn them down."

"Good show Greer," Gavin said. The president of the surf club is a buddy of mine. I'll call him out to get everyone down here on the beach in swimwear perhaps having a practice and get you fitted into a one-piece club swimsuit. They might even fake a rescue and..."

"No thanks Gavin. None of that. The producer wants me in my bikini sitting on the beach at a table with my laptop and Valerie Vickers will interview me, appearing to stumble on me; she spends a week each summer here with her grandmother. Valerie is Donna Poole's daughter who is the daughter of Irene Smith from down the far end of the beach."

"God, isn't it a small world," said Gavin. "So the interview is down that end?"

"No, the TV van will be in our sealed parking area and I will be working just down from there. Annie I want you to bring martini's for Valerie and me to demonstrate our casual beach culture that I'll be saying is the real reason why I missed New Zealand when living in London."

"So I'll be on national TV?"

"Yes."

"I'll need my hair done and a new dress."

"No darling, I want you dressed as you were today in that old muumuu, with your hair looking as it's never seen a comb or brush. Promise my darling... no tarting up. Just your natural self."

"Okay but I insist on wearing a bra."

"No way Annie -- I want them moving about like a two-ring circus."

"Oh god."

"She's right Annie," Gavin nodded. "This must look authentic."

An hour later the producer called back and was very apologetic. Greer said, "The TV interview has been cancelled unless I go to the Auckland studios but I said no. The producer and director have done the sums and decided with the expense involved and my limited appeal to what he termed 'mainstream New Zealand' too many things failed to add up so it had been decided to scrap the planned broadcast."

"Oh darling those TV boffins are mother-fuckers," Annie said nicely.

"No, it's okay. They are simply incompetent, or at least that guy was. He will send me a cheque for $500 as a disturbance fee. I think I know what that means. I'll donate that money to our surf lifesaving club."

Gavin said, "You must be really disappointed Greer?"

"No Gavin, that incident comes not within a bull's roar of writing your first novel and sitting looking at a pile of twenty-six rejection slips from publishers."

CHAPTER 3

On Thursday evening just on dusk, an hour after the surf club that maintained lifesaving watch in the swimming area by the clubhouse had closed for the night, Greer was on the beach with Annie eating over-ripe plums.

"Oh god look, that rider on the jet-ski is too close to point," Annie said. "He'll hit to submerged reef."

"The jet-ski has very little draught," Greer said. "He or she should be okay."

The sea was calm, showing no broken water over the reef. As they watched the craft going perhaps less than half-speed hit something with a crunch, stopping dead. They watched as the rider arched high and splashed into the water. He bobbed back up, not moving but floating in his life-vest.

Greer guessed the outcome. "God, he's knocked himself out hitting rock in the shallows. Call Bryce Waterhouse to launch the club's rubber inflatable."

"It's not there. Someone took it to town this evening for some sort of repair."

"Well I better go and hope to get there before he or she drowns. With luck he or she is floating head up as the vest is meant to behave."

"No Greer, wait. We'll get someone to launch a dinghy."

"Yeah and in the meantime he or she drowns. You do that but I'm swimming out."

"No Greer, there's no moon. It will be dark soon."

Greer had stripped to her bra and panties. "Kiss-kiss Annie. Try to get a boat with a spotlight out to us."

It was a straightforward swim of about 800 to 900 yards with no current because it was only a half hour after neap tide. The water was flat. Greer swam strongly, taking care not to over-exert but then came a problem. In the gathering gloom she lost definition between the coastline on her right and could no longer clearly see the point. She knew she was in a pickle. She grimly thought of the newspaper headline, 'Former Regional Champion Junior Female Lifesaver Fails Near-drowning Victim'.

She stopped and attempted to slow rising panic. She looked back and recognized Annie's house ablaze with lights and off to the right the Miles' home. The space between them was the road to town. She lined up with that, turned and swam on.

A few minutes later she stopped and had a lucky break. She looked up at where she thought the point was and made out a ghostly shape. Christ, it was the outline in the failing light of the white water pump house on McBride's farm. She was almost there.

"Call out to me," she yelled.

"Who do you want?" answered a guy who sounded rather groggy.

"You bozo, you rode over the reef and hit it at force."

"It wasn't my fault."

"Oh yeah -- are you hurt?"

"Hit my head. Blood everywhere. Um, sharks?"

"Unlikely this early but usually they shy off men because they smell."

"Ha ha."

"Keep talking to me so I can home in on you."

"What good will that do?"

"I'm a strong swimmer, a former surf lifesaver."

"Truly, no bullshit?"

"Yeah."

"Well it's my lucky day. Come over here darling with that flotation device lifesavers swim out with."

"I said ex lifesaver, so there's no flotation device," said Greer, trying to line up the guy. She was swimming breaststroke to hear and follow the direction of his voice.

"I felt a fish -- a shark," he yelled in near panic.

"It's probably drifting seaweed."

"Come to me you stupid bitch. Can't you see me?"

"No you asshole. Can't you see me?"

"No."

"Well that's our problem but a rescue boat ought to be here shortly. Annie is raising the alarm."

"Annie Fabish with the wobbly tits?"

"Yes you rude bastard. We must be close; you voice sounds very near. What's your name?"

"Sebastian Roberts."

"I'm Greer Gregory."

"Christ my sister is setting us up to date over dinner this Saturday."

"Oh I don't believe that. Wendy told me her brother is a gentleman."

"That's bullshit. No way..."

"Shut up. Splash water so I see the phosphorous. I think I'm very close. That's it; no need to attract sharks because splashing plus blood means a dining frenzy to them."

"You bitch. You told me..."

"Shut up, let me put my arm around your back and lock under your far arm."

"Why aren't you swimming me towards shore, away from sharks?"

Greer said she needed a brief rest to recover from her 800 yard-plus swim. They should be quiet listening for the motor and keeping a lookout for a spotlight. "Annie will be on the boat knowing exactly where we are."

Greer felt Sebastian's hand on her belly. She whispered could he wait till they were ashore before he groped for sex.

"You're freezing," he choked. "I'm in a wetsuit and I'm cold."

"I'm okay, it's what girls do." Greer whispered. "Ah, here they come."

"Where I don't see anything although I hear a motor."

"Look this way," Annie said, taking his hands and pointing. "See the spotlight on the cliffs. They are using that for navigation. Soon it will go right up over the cliff as the operator looks to get a bearing on the white pumping shed and Annie will tell them they're almost there. They'll cut the motor and they'll hear me whistle and they'll put the spotlight in our direction to locate us. A dorsal fin cutting through the water in our direction will probably give them another reference point."

"D-dorsal fin?"

"Very unlikely Sebbie, relax."

"Wendy calls me Sebbie and has done so since she was four. Mom hates it."

"I adore your sister. God she'll make a wonderful mother. There they go, bang, the spotlight hit the pump house first shot. I bet Annie is directing that."

"Did you know she was a rowing champion, coxless four I think, and they just missed gaining selection in time trials for the Olympics?"

"Annie was? God I knew she'd be good at something."

The spotlight hit them and they heard Annie shout almost simultaneously, "There they are, turn a few degrees to starboard Johnny!"

Greer smiled when bathed in light she saw Sebastian looking to his right for any sign of a dorsal fin and then she admired his coolness under stress when he said, "How the hell will the guy steering the outboard motor know what a few degrees means?"

"It doesn't matter sweetie; he'll steer to the beam of the spotlight."

"You called me sweetie."

"Oh did I?"

"Why?"

"Because I'm in need of a romantic affair. Now shut up, Annie will want to talk to us."

"Ahoy there," Annie shouted. "Everything okay Greer?"

"Yep, but Sebbie needs to go to hospital for an examination of a head injury."

"I don't."

"You do so shut up."

Annie called they would approach slowly. "Oh it's Sebastian Roberts. Thank you for saving Greer Sebastian."

"But I didn't..."

"Shut up Sebbie," Greer whispered. "She was scared I'll drown, losing my way in the gathering darkness."

"Jesus."

"Sebbie, when you land and receive medical attention stick to the story you regained consciousness and waited for the rescue boat you knew would be coming. I'm not to be mentioned, do you understand?"

"B-but I don't understand. You are a heroine."

Annie said sternly reaching over to grab the front of Sebastian's life-vest. "Shut up and do what she says Sebastian. Greer thinks she's had more than enough publicity already. She'll now do a runner for a couple of days and will be replying on you not blabbering to anyone about this. Johnny put your fat butt over portside to counter-balance us. Get ready to push him up Greer on the count of three; Spider you lift him gripping under his knees. Here were go, One-two-three."

The small aluminium boat lurched and water flowed in. But they got Sebastian aboard.

Greer made no attempt to struggle aboard. "There's insufficient freeboard -- take Sebbie now and spotlight the jet-ski for me to allow me to get a bearing. We may as well attempt to salvage it while we're out here."

"Greer no, you've been through enough already."

Sebastian was ignored.

Annie leaned over, giving Greer Sebastian's vest, her waterproof torch and two chocolate bars. "Keep safe darling."

"Annie, brief the guys. I want no mention made of me. Get Johnny to come alone because the jet ski is probably holed and partly filled with water so will be a heavy tow.

"Greer, I want you to come with us and take no further risks. Tell her Annie."

"Shut up Sebastian; Greer is in charge of this operation."

"Thanks darling. Take him to hospital in my vehicle; it's roomier than your micro-car. The keys are behind the sun-visor."

"Yeah the safe place where we all put them. Off we go Johnny and I'll have your balls if you don't find Greer when you come back here."

The roar of the motor drowned Sebastian's cries of oh god, oh god."

Greer floated on her back, having to kick strongly because the current was building into flood tide. She reached the jet ski using the torch to finally locate it, having overshot it and holding on with one arm began munching a chocolate bar.

* * *

Sebastian was told he was required to remain in hospital for twenty-four hours for observation following light concussion and to have his head wound properly stitched next day. He awoke before dawn, feeling very drowsy but still managed a huge grin. A visitor had called during the night: resting against his white and blue hospital water bottle was a folded piece of paper that read, 'See you in a couple of days darling.' It was signed by a lipstick kiss.

The note was still there when his worried sister hurried in at 7:00. She smiled to meet his smile and then saw the note and frowned.

"Does she know you are married?"

"No."

"I've had a change of mind Sebbie. I want you to stay away from her."

"Too late Wendy; it's begun."

"Sebbie she'd under enough stress attempting to dig back into a normal life in her homeland but events appear to be conspiring against her."

"Have you spoken to Annie and did she tell you everything about the drama?"

"Yes and she asked me to say nothing about Greer's involvement."

"Greer took a huge risk swimming out into darkness like that and was incredible brave staying out there alone and cold to ensure my rescue dinghy didn't swamp through being overloaded."

Wendy failed to divert him by saying, "That's what people at the beach do darling although not many would have volunteered to stay out alone."

Sebastian looked at his sister with mournful eyes. "Then she swam off to try to find my jet-ski to begin the salvage attempt. That young woman is incredible."

"Yes, little wonder she writes imbuing heroic qualities in her leading characters; it's simply an extension of herself. Please at least keep away from her until you begin divorce proceedings against that philandering bitch you call a wife."

"No."

"God did you two have sex out in the sea?"

"Not that I remember," he grinned. "I'm sure I'd remember sexual connection with a women of that quality."

Wendy failed to stop her smile. The straight-haired blonde bent over and kissed her brother. "I was given only ten minutes to see you because hospital routine is due to start in a few minutes. Give me the name of your marine insurance company and I'll report last night's accident after calling Annie to find out where the craft is now. I'll see you during visiting hours this afternoon and can collect you at 10:00 this evening when the 24-hour watch ends."

"What are they watching for?"

"A brain, to try to determine why you are so bent on commencing an adulterous affair on the eve of commencing divorce proceedings."

"In that case return to your office and start my divorce process darling; I'd hate to shame you. It's happening because out there in those dark waters last night Greer and I began to bond and I think it's bigger than lust."

"Wow darling, make sure you tell Greer that when you see her again. She flew out at 8:00 this morning to Dunedin to visit her parents. She hasn't seem them since they were in London thirty-two months ago."

"Thirty-two months -- that rather precise."

"Greer is a writer and a competition glider pilot. She has trained herself to be precise. They say opposites attract."

She left giving him one of her fat wet kisses men liked. Sebastian turned over and went to sleep but in the way of hospitals was shaken awake seven minutes later and told to take a shower wearing a shower cap. A shy student nurse with a featureless face, the look of terror in lieu of a smile and no apparent breast development on her skinny albeit body in a sack-like uniform, was assigned to supervise him in the shower.

"Just turn your back sweetie. If I feel I'm going to fall I'll call you in plenty of time to catch me. Just let this be our little secret."

The student's relief was a joy to see.

* * *

The noise in the outer office alerted Wendy that Greer was back from the South Island.

The receptionist and six general office personnel had prepared for this moment. When Greer entered and delivered a breezy 'Good morning everyone', everyone believing there is safety in numbers chorused, "Good morning Lady Gregory."

Greer bared her teeth but converted that into a smile. "You cunning assholes."

That produced a howls of laughter.

Wendy said to her client, "Please excuse me Mrs Knightsbridge. My dear friend has arrived."

"Certainly," the elderly woman sniffed. "I take it you friend means more to you than an important fee-paying client?"

Wendy thought furiously and smiled. "Her name is Greer Gregory. You may have read..."

"Good god girl, why didn't you say so? She's connected with the British peerage. My cousin's friend who is a high-performing singer was once presented to the Queen in the Royal Albert Hall."

Wendy replied she would invite Greer in. "Perhaps she might help to break the deadlock between adviser and client over re-investment issues."

The introductions were made and Greer was briefed. While coffee was being poured Greer asked Mrs Knightsbridge was she fit and did she walk long distances.

"Yes, fit and I walk two miles a day with ease."

"And how many grandchildren do you have?"

"My son and daughter have seven between them but I fail to see the relevancy of this questioning."

"Then why don't you keep $25,000 aside and reinvest the other $388,700 as Mrs Bishop has wisely recommended."

"Very well Lady Gregory. So how do I spend that other money, order a tomb?"

"No Mrs Knightsbridge. You negotiate with your two children, suggesting the two families accompany you at your expense to Cairns in northern Queensland for the July school holidays, when it will be cold here. The excitement of seeing crocodiles in their natural habitat, visiting bird sanctuaries and you floating in a glass-bottom boat watching them below snorkelling and viewing the wonders of the Great Barrier Reef will remain as some of your fondest-ever memories and they will know it was grandma who made it all possible."

Mrs Knightsbridge frowned. "But both families went there last summer?"

Undeterred, Greer said, "In that case leave $40,000 aside and take everyone to New York."

Mrs Knightsbridge's semi-cataract-clouded eyes did their best to shine. "New York, city of my dreams; oh yes. What a wonderful suggestion Lady..."

"Please call me Greer Mrs Knightsbridge."

"Yes Greer, a wonderful suggestion. Please reinvest as you have suggested Mrs Bishop but leave aside $40,000 from that capital in a travel fund I want you to keep as a trust account, paying interest of course."