All Comments on 'A Victorian Lord Ch. 01'

MustafaFuch,

Your story has the makings of a good read, but you need an editor. Too many mispellings, capitalizations in the wrong spots and language not in the correct time era.

Please find an editor.

A good idea but you haven't pulled it off. You've used too much speech and not enough narritive to make it understandable. You did start out with the speech partens of mid Victorian times but then you turned them into 16th Century speech partens with mixed with modern. You move everthing along too fast and didn't think to set up the charaters very well. You started to do so with the Widow and Charlie but then you seem to just throw it all away. I'll try to read the next chapter but if it's in the same vain then sorry I won't read the rest. It could be a very good read if you add some story to it.

I like the story line, but your language is off. I read a lot of Historical Romances set in England and they didn't talk like that. I want to keep reading and see where the story goes. Please don't take offense. I'm just giving an honest opinion and I do like the story that's why I'll keep reading.