All Comments on 'A Warrior's Revenge'

Not a bad story at all, but Alan deserved at least a little payback for what he did.

What a great love story, but it needed a little more in the end. I also question if she as so in love with him for the 5 years he in the Marines then why would she admit to giving blowjobs and letting guys going down on her that she was dating, just saying. Well done 5 stars

oh wow...i almost got diabetes reading the overly contrived and sweetened dialogues that the MC s seem to converese in....dont think this is how people talk...and if baldeagle 286 speaks to his spouse like this i am sure she would be highly diabeteic by now

I loved it, nut where is the rest of the story? Did they ever have children, did his face ever get re-built? Whatever happened to Alan Freed?

where is the next chapter? it is a good story but needs a bit more AA++

I see a problem coming Do you remember when she said she wanted a monogamous relationship and if anything change they would talk about it

It is now 17 years later. He comes. Home from Trying to save his company from Biden’s taxes.

She say “Honey we have to talk”

Captain at 25? Nope, especially without a college degree or a world war and its attrition of frontline combat leaders. Maybe a Lance Corporal. Otherwise, it's a great story! 5/5!!!

I gave it a 4 just because of that bit at the beginning where she is talking about "just sex" with other men. That should have been a sign to leave. Plus no real revenge.

My feelings are, we need another chapter! Hop to it, son!

misnamed There was not revenge. Story read like an afterschool special. Little drama and who talks like that in real life?????

Waits years for the one and only...remains virgin...reconnected and engaged instantly...THEN brings up sex with other men as a possibility further down the road!?!?!? WTF!?! Should have been called TWILIGHT ZONE SCHIZOID ANGEL/SLUT

Really good story, well detailed, and quite a complex plot.

Writing wise, it was choppy. Your dialogue was too matter of fact. Your outline or thought pattern was evident but barely fleshed out at times. This story had the potential to be a real barn burner, and still does, with one helluva new edit.

Yes, it's all fantasy but many of the details just didn't work as well as everything was too fantastical. He was nominated for the CMOH, he inherited a successful corporation, his uncle dies just as he is about to exit Service. Then there is the commissioning without a bachelors degree, that Allan fooled him that Faith had left him, it just felt so awkward. The timing didn't work, as well. His fifth reunion from his community college, he had already been promoted and served as a Company Commander.

I believe this story is worthy of a kick ass editing and a rewrite, the potential is that good. 4/5 ⭐️s. I loved the story but it needs to be tightened. It needs to be greatly expanded.

I would like to add a term to our lexicon, here: Character Porn! This isn't a story, it's just a series of people talking about what an amazing person the main character is. Stars? There are none!

Your story started out fine but when you introduced future infidelities, I stopped reading.

BEtween the God shit and the cuck shit...it clear you are easily within the statistics of being a Conservative with gay/bi tendencies and havent accepted them.

Sadly thats the case with sooooooooooo many of you cuck writers/readers. Stats dont lie, the other limp wristed sissies on the right like to make it seem like anyone other than their ilk, but studies say otherwise. So its kinda fun to watch them wet themselves.

On that note my dear sweet closeted little boy, I couldnt get halfway through the first page before I felt like someone kicked me in the head. I had to skim and thankfully I didnt get all full 5 pages of gay repression. A writer you are not, this wa sinane at best, badly written, thought out and carried through.

Epic fail twinkie

Learn about the marine corps and how rank progression works before writing about it. You’re protagonists would not be a captain in the corps 5 years after graduating HS…. One of a few things so wrong with your military usage

AAA++

So, she said even if she had sex with another man, she would always come home to him.

If my wife ever said that to me, it would be DIVORCE immediately! There is NO joking or teasing about something like this. While reading the rest of the story, that fact always stuck in the back of my mind. It ruined the rest of the story for me. Was waiting for her to cheat.

What revenge, where was the revenge, did l miss something reading this story??

Ended up being a pile of self serving crap. Then came the talk of future cheating, WTF!!!!!

Scores 2/5

Good opening concept, but the rest of the story just didn't fit together.

read 1st page, speed readed last page to save time. Fantasy land or la la la. so many plot errors

Did he really accept her declaration about the sex she intended to have with other men as being only physical, not love? The rest was king of wishy washy grade school fantasy, like the Colonel arriving in a fighter jet.

Saves her virginity for him, then almost immediately starts talking about sex with other men, what a load of garbage, move on. I didn't star it, others liked it so I didn't want to bring the average down.

and where is the revenge?

Story was moving way too quickly leaving a trail of unanswered questions. Like why did she slap him then responded she didn't know it was him...huh. WTF?

Was it a school reunion in the gym, was he that popular; and the questions continued.

This is aside at the latter end of the story where they somehow were going on a honeymoon without a wedding?

Nice story showing promise , it just more depth and character development.

Some real plot problems, and a sketchy plot progression. Three stars.

JPB

Bit over the top in spots, a bit weird in spots. I get the impression she was pegged like a dart board while he was gone and had the plastic surgeons give her a hymen back. Problem with that is, she didn’t know when he’d be back or even if he would.

The Alan plot makes no sense, surely he would have spoken to his mother and she would have known the difference.

Perhaps you’re going to pull a Dallas and he washes up in Walter Reid alone. This story being just a dream? Dreams don’t have to make any logical sense.

Lastly the story ends abruptly at page 5. What happened ?

There’s a story in there somewhere. Probably more than one. You just need to get in there, pull one out and finish it.

Grant

Enjoyable and entertaining , thank you.

From basic training to Captain and Company Commander in 4 years?

Good old Hank can hardly walk without a stick yet can pick up and carry his intended to bed?

sweet and corny. I like corny.

Divertissant mais un peu gnangnan.

The Medal of Honor is Presented by: The President of the United States in the name of the United States Congress.

I sometimes get upset when the highest award for valor this nation awards to it's Heroes is misnamed as The Congressional Medal of Honor. The only tie to Congress is that is presented in the name of Congress. The award is simply recognized as the Medal of Honor with no tie to Congress.

Way to many errors in what is what in this story, too many conflicts of information. Why is Freed even around after the first page of this story. The dude just should have been gone in 10 minutes of the uncovering of what had taken place. are you this doofie in your own life you can't make a decision without months of thinking about it when you know what should take place????? Come on dude........ get a real grip in real life so it translates to your stories........ way to wishy washy.........

Revenge? When, where, and how? The story almost felt like a documentary. It was one level above boring waiting for the revenge part. Overall, I still liked it. 4 stars.

Waste of time reading this hogwash. The writing is maybe high-school level with as many mistakes as there are. The dialog was something between sugarly sweet to a four year old boy trying to tell a joke. Kept waiting for the revenge but I guess it got lost somewhere in the mint juleps and the fabulous wealth that was forced on them. Two stars is all I could give for wasting my time trying to find a story somewhere in there.

@Helen1899: I agree completely. No idea why this is rated so high. Semee a bit corny on page 1, but top of page 2 was surreal in their dialog. Then all the other crazy stuff. Just meh.

This story was interesting enough to

read.Good enough for 3 stars..

That’s the story? There’s no ending. Why is it classified as Loving Wives?