All Comments on 'A Week at the Lake with My Sister'

Thank you brother for your efforts and time, Wish you could write a story in mom-son-watersports catagory, like 'A Long wet Summer - by Sunburycd'. I'm leaving literotica, gatting married within 3 months. It was me who suggested that story to Sunburycd, I wanted to give him something in return, but couldn't... He's a great writer like you but everyone underrates his story because of his interest in wet stories...

What a wonderful retake of a good story only made so much better. Paul is still pushed away as a bad boyfriend, but switching between Kaitlyn and Joanna who was more the master manipulator of the pending relationship with Brandon was so much better articulated this time, Swapping between the females who was telling the truth or wanting Brandon fro them selves, But overtime all the scheming was revealed and looking back it did work out for the trio, including there children, and finally one set of parent being allowed to see what a wonderful family the sibling and Joanna had built

I liked the old one better -when Joanna went with Paul

Massive improvement. Kaitlyn gets the chance to grow out of being so manipulative and we get a satisfying ending

Well done!

No matter what anyone says, it says slot about a creator who is willing to look critically at their work and recreate/ update it. I liked tge epilogue, it brought it full circle.

still so happy to see you back publishing your stories,

you flip back and forth from present to past tense, sometimes in the same paragraph or even the same sentence. Makes it tiring to read, especially a story of this length.

Great to see you back and your stories.

Wow! Lovely story and amazing writing.

Perfection! I couldn't stop reading it!

I think the revision is spectacular! The original was good but this one is great!

I read the entire story because I wanted to be fair to the story and the author. Now I must say that this is the most ridiculous, convoluted story that I have ever read. I'm sure that there are people who appreciated your persistence in bringing them this story, so I applaud your persistence, and your effort. Other than that, I have definitely wasted my time.

So glad that you are back!!! Thank you so much!. I never understand people's negative comments, especially when you are such an incredible wordsmith. I liked the original too, but agree that the plot makes more sense now. Love your stories!!!

I like this version as well as the original. I’d like to see the original again too. Great writing!

I think I know how much this story meant for you to write considering your need to revisit it and refine it based on the feedback. For a lot of authors this would have been a mistake but you pulled it off beautifully. Well done and thanks for getting these characters to a place I think everyone can be happy with.

Great read, I was very invested in the characters. I love this story, I hope you write more. The whole thing felt very real to me. 5/5 I would give it 10/5 if I could.

I never read the original version so I can't comment on the difference. I would have given this 3 stars, because the first half was long and plodding. The second half was excellent and the epilogue earned the 4th star. Thank you for contributing.

10/10!!!

I don't quite remember the original but I liked this

I didn't read your first version, but this one was very well done. Good pace between the sex and the life parts. Definitely enjoyed the read.

Before reading this story, can someone help me out ? thx

Which one of the siblings is the older one ?

And is there any sharing, swapping, ntr ? ( Like sister sleeps with another guy etc ).. thx

(9/1/2023) Well, this goes back on my favorites list. The epilogue made the story even better and I didn’t think that was possible. Looking forward to rereading your other stories and adding them back to my list.

I loved both versions of this story one scene i missed here from the old story was the one with Kaitlyn and Brandon on the sofa.

10/10 keep em coming you are one of the best writers here love all your storys.

Also keep the long storys they are awesome you can really see how much work you put into your stories even have some great references here.

Cannot wait until the next one.

bring back more of your stories please

Thank you great story

A bit long-winded in a few places, but much better than the original.

I love this story, and have to say that the various plot twists are briliant. I'd love to see a sequel of Julie, Benjamin and Harper when they all enter the consensual stage of their lives.

I really enjoyed this new version and the epilogue was perfect. I'm so glad that you're back to publishing stories again. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for more of my old favorites of yours to be re-uploaded. Especially if your in an epilogue adding mood : )

I read to original. This is better. Good work.

18 pages was way too much

8 pages too long

Nice, well told story. A. BIt laborious in parts , but overall a good story.

Enjoyed the story overall, but didn't like the division between the girls and Brandon. They claim equality in the relationships, but that wasn't practiced. Joanna decided when Brandon and Kaitlyn could be together. What you had here was a dominant, a submissive switch and a submissive bottom with Brandon being the bottom. One best friend sharing her toy with her other best friend when it suited her, and him having no choice in the matter. That's not an equal relationship. While having a division of labor in the household chores makes since, the division of allowed times for affection doesn't. They should have loved and allowed love equally and freely between them. Other than that aspect, it was very well done in my opinion.

that was one weird sh't .. 1/5

Largely I agree with Kerrion's comments about the relationship not being equal. I 'arrived' when Joanna and Kaitlyn first had their throuple shenanigans in the apartment, so I didn't read further than that. Basically stopped with 5 pages or so left.

Honestly, I don't really understand why this edit was written, and to put an even finer point on things, I don't see any difference between the narratives apart from the obvious 8 extra pages of writing.

I don't think those 8 extra pages are important in this aspect and there is a reason for that. The starting author's note said that the problems arose from chapters 4 and 5, I read far enough to see chapter 4 and chapter 5 but I found no changes made.

In my opinion, the problems with this new edit and the old version are still the same. In both iterations, the relationships are not equal. I don't see any self-respecting man allowing these types of things to occur without having a weigh-in on them. Brandon is clearly not fully on-board with what is happening but willingly allows it to happen anyway, I can't really identify with this.

Lastly, the thing that I found most unenjoyable was the fact that this story wasn't broken down into separate publishments. Even just breaking them into three-page titles would have made a massive difference in the readability. I feel like the only reason this wasn't done was because of laziness on your part as the author. I can definitely see you getting finished with this chonker of an edit and just being like "Fuck uploading more than once." but it's exactly that kind of thinking that really made the story less enjoyable overall.

I’m glad to see your stories back on Literotica. I was disappointed when they were taken down. I’m looking forward to rereading and rating them and hopefully to some new entries. This is one of my favorite stories.

I must confess that I much preferred the old version, Kaitlyn is so much more manipulative and underhanded in this the latest version, much less likeable, and both Brandon and Joanna are much weaker this time around.

Also, this version didn’t benefit from being so much longer, it just got messier.

Great story please keep writing them!!!

I've never read the original but I'm now curious about it, is there anyway to read it? Or maybe you might be willing to repost it on here, because I'm genuinely curious.

You have an amazing talent for writing. I haven't read your writer's notes. I have to go find my glasses. You mentioned that some people complained about the story, I don't understand why. I loved it and all the details. My only objection, is that it ended!!!

I find your style of writing to be a debbie downer, not very exciting, always second guessing for the characters. Just really awkward. Whole bunch of nobody really getting along and relationships are being pushed along just to try and appease certain persons without any real connection, merely superficial to possibly accomodate for whatever whims happening to go along with others that really don't make sense.

This is like a childish soap opera where everything is forced way to fast and dopey to boot. If the rest of this is like this then not worth the read......... sorry way to jr high and immature and nothing solid relationship-wise. Seriously you have people throwing out statements as whims throughout this whole first section that are simply out there crazy. How do you justify a lot of this crap as being a story of any integrity as a writer????? You don't have any of these young folks with any type of maturity at all they are all over the map with jumping from this to that with no in depth sincerity. Bunch of flakes that are scatterbrained at best.

I'd like to apologize for the downers making negative comments. Just because they can't write like you, although with some input, they want to trash your writing. I personally didn't think I would read through 16 pages, and then there were 18. I was a good story. I'm anonymous because I don't have an account. Or maybe I do and don't remember. Either way, Nice

Wonderful.

I absolutely loves this story. I can tell you that the emotions are accurate.

This was a very good and gratifying story. One I've had fantasies about for myself if I were to be honest, but I have no sister(s) at all. But IF I did, I would secretly hope that my life could play out to be a lot like this story. And if THAT isn't a good way to say I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post, I don't know any better way to tell you I have. As for all the Naysayers and critics you said you had to contend with early on, I would tell them to Stuff It! Then tell them to go write their OWN story and see if it can come anywhere NEAR to being as good as this one has been. I doubt you'd have any competition. Not by a LONG shot. Now I wait for your next titillating story. Thank You.

Very well written enjoyed a bunch keep writing waiting to read more.

I did not read the first iteration of this story but the rewrite was masterful. The story flowed together and all the chapters meshed together into a wonderful and believable as well as a very hot story. Thank you

I hated this. My anxiety was through the roof for most of it. I just wanted to scream at Brandon to run and tell him he's getting played. Both of those girls are terrible people who had no problem with lying to him. He should have left as soon as he found out the had planned to switch boyfriends. Its awful. I'm so pissed.

I, honestly, don't remember your previous account but remember this story. I enjoyed every bit as much as the first time I read it and am looking forward to reading more. Thanks for coming back....

Absolutely one of, if not the best stories I have ever read on here! You are to be applauded for your style, the character development, and patience… too often it’s a hurried effort. Bravo.

I'm with K_S_B on this. At first Brandon is a guy with a set of moral standards and inclinations who tries to act accordingly. In the end he is nothing but a tool. He has no say regarding their sexual encounters or important life decisions, once his sister and her girlfriend got their claws into him. There is a hierarchy of whose wishes are important, on top is Joanna, followed by Kaitlyn. Brandon is a means to an end. Both girls are lying, manipulating and scheming, euphemistivally called planning. Everything is discussed between them and Brandon has to accept their decisions and follows the girls' every whim. Fact of the matter is, even women who dream about dominating a man that way will get fed up with such a doormat. Run Bandon, run!

Must admit I prefered the original. does that still exist somewhere?

We loved reading this story , very sexy , sort of knewwhat would happen , but getting there was very nice .

Nice ending too , happy 😊

Five big fat stars *****

Another great story. Glad to have read each of your stories. Very, very glad that you put them back on Literotica.

Please disregard the “criticism” of those who feel it necessary to do so. There will always be mean girls in the world. This is my favorite story of your so far. I have only read four, but loved them all.

I don't disagree with other comments that this story is flawed, but I still really enjoyed it. I've read a number of stories that are similar in theme to this one and they usually end with the parents folding like wet napkins and immediately accepting the incest, which is jarring to say the least. The epilogue here was a refreshing read, and I think that definitely counts for something.

Absolutely fantastic. Paul is a dick.

Great story, but then again l loved the earlier version as well and gave it 5/5.

The revised version here gets a big 5/5 from me as well.

I have always loved your stories and your style in telling them. Thank you for coming back and bringing your wonderful stories back to read.

Keep up the great work.

A fascinating and wonderful story. It's been years since I read the original version, so memories of it started coming back to me slowly as I read this version. I think I remember where they split, and I'm glad to see you have republished the older version so I can go back and read that again and compare. The last version got a 5 from me, and of course this version did too.

I was surprised by your preface notes about people disliking the later part of the original story. It almost makes me want to try to understand what they disliked and why they disliked it. Almost. But instead, I think I'll just read the original version and enjoy it again, without worrying my head about why someone would have disliked it.

There was some stuff I was not as comfortable with as Brandon was, and he was almost a tad passive at times, but this story was not about me.

Excellent story, with romance, eroticism, and some confession all worked in together.

Five for you

I couldn't get into this at all. I really tried but having b/s and girlfriend ruined it for me.

Loved this version of the story as well as the first.

Great story,well written.

Terrific story, hot as hell, great characters

An amazing story with all the twists and turns. It was very erotic loved it all!!

This bogus story. You originally wrote this in 2018. But had your account since like may of this year. The math don't add up

Way way better than your other story which was legit horrible last 40%. Well done!

This version is far superior. More realistic and less convoluted. The conclusion leaves the reader satisfied.

Ok, I have read a lot of your stories now and why must all of your characters use towels to protect the bed? Are you a cliche Italian nona?

Noticing the patterns in your writing really pulled me out of this one and wasn't really a fan overall. Won't leave a rating though.

Not really a big fan of this one

I read both stories, old and then new. I read for entertainment and I enjoyed both versions. I will say that I enjoyed the new one more because of the addition that followed them into the future as a family. I may be a little biased as I really enjoy all of your stories and have for years. I appreciate all of your efforts and that you share your work with us. Thank you.

Thank you. It's nice to read stories that include relationships and not just a list of imaginative sex positions. I find it interesting that most people who have negative comments on this site are anonymous, without the courage to even identify their account.

Speaking of which, to Anonymous who claimed the author's stated time of writing the original is bogus: Take a closer look at his membership date and clam up. If you're going to be a cry-baby at least make sure your facts are straight and at least use your account name.

Member Since: May 27, 2013 (5 years before he wrote the original version)

An excellent story, 5 stars more please.

I read and favorited the old version years ago. I love both versions and each has certain things i think are better at points in the story but neither is what I would consider a bad story. Both are in my favorites. I look forward to your new stories as they are posted

Wow

Would give this story 10 stars if I could !!!

Like the rewrite even better!!

What can I say, my opinion as anon may not appeal to everyone.

My opinion is that all works by the author are awesome.

The rewrite is a better version than the original, thank you for you time and effort.

This story truly earned the 5 star rating!

I read this as a BOOK, not as erotic literature. Yes; it had me HARD as a rock at various times, but the character development, the plot, the sub-plots and the depth and breadth of the conversations gave this “story” a much deeper and meaningful FEEL than a “story”! I enjoyed it immensely!!

I don’t know how the first version went, as I only read the revised version, but I think you did a superb job of bringing the story to a close. Thank you for the extra effort it must have taken.

Just read both versions. I liked the old version better. It is more plausible. The hate received must be due to many of the readers here who want selfish erotica - i.e. only the protagonist gets to fuck 2 girls (Loving Wives category authors suffer from this the most). So Paul must be written off, but really? Just cut him off and drive him home and somehow he won't be upset/mad and not blab to their parents?????

In either case, a big thank you to the author, actually TWO thank you's. One for writing the story, one more for reacting to readers' comments to the point of re-writing the story.

The first 10 pages were okay (even though this whole "date my friend for summer to build up her self-esteem" broke my suspense of disbelief - I mean who the fuck would invest themselves like this, emotionally, monetarily and team-wise just to make someone else feel good?), it went downhill after that. I hate "sharing" stories. They are bullshit, humans are not wired like that. One man cannot give 2 (or more) women the same amount and quality of attention, someone will always come short.

The amount of manipulation from Kaitlyn is staggering and makes her a deeply unpleasant and unsympathetic character.

It's impossible to like her given how selfish she is. She made her life a bed of roses, having cake and eating it, but that's only because it's other keeping those petals fresh and remaking the bed everyday for her. She has a career she is 100% committed to above her lovers and above her future children. She will never give up her career to raise her kids, she will just foist them off on other people while she traips around the world.

I absolutely DESPISE people like that. Hate thm. Loathe them. Wish something had happened to them so they were incapable of having kids to begin with. THEY DON'T DESERVE TO HAVE A FAMILY.

I respected Brandon at first, but that faded when he agreed to all this bullshit. Either shit or get off the potty, dude! Either be with Joanna or dump her and be with your sister.

Also what broke my disbelief is that Brandon agreed to the whole scheme of dating Joanna tbw. That is such a 90's teen movie level plot, it's got no chance of working or being rational. And then what pissed me off is that he let himself be pushed and manipulated into moving in with Joanna after just days of being in love.

I'm disappointed he didn't blow up at Kaitlyn and ask her what was next, was she gonna push them to get married cause "you're already living together, why not do this too?" and then push for them to have kids cause "you're already married, why not have kids too?". She had completely taken over their lives and used them like pawns at chess for her benefit. Using, abusing and exploiting so she can just surf through life with no responsibilities and all just benefits.

Also, lmao, Kaitlyn waiting to hit geriatric pregnancy age to have her first kid... 15 years in relationship with her brother but she kept putting him off and putting her career first?

She is probably my most hated female protagonist of any stories I've read in my entire life and that's tens of thousands!!!!

Yeah, fuck her thrice.

I got seduced by the number of pages for this story into thinking it's gonna be a great read and will redeem it's weird start somewhere down the line. I was wrong.

The starting author's notes claim that they have improved the story and fixed what was wrong with the original. The author claims they have learned from their mistake and have reworked the story into something readers will like. That is a bald and outright lie. Nothing has been fixed, only rewritten, it's got the very same breaking issues the original had.

Wow! The ANON below almost wrote a short story. LOLZ

Anyway, I enjoyed the story.

Yes, Kaitlin was manipulative but both Brandon and Joanna agreed with her character flaw.

Could this lifestyle occurred RL, I believe it is a possibility and if so, good on them

But this is fiction so anything goes.

I liked both versions, for different reasons. Both got a 5* from me.