A Week at the Lake with My Sister

"And we kissed."

"And it was awesome. I never enjoyed kissing a guy that much. The whole time that night I had sex with Paul, I imagined it was you. I began thinking about you and me being boyfriend-girlfriend. It was all I could think about. The next day, I dropped a bunch of hints to you that I wanted to be your girlfriend. You didn't seem to pick up on any."

"That was Wednesday, right?"

"Yes."

"Yeah, I didn't pick up on any hints that you wanted me to be your girlfriend."

"That night, I joked to Joanna about letting the other guy feel our tits. Again, I think she knew I wasn't joking. She got Paul to tell you to feel my tits. And I was in heaven. Kissing you while you touched my tits was the most erotic thing ever. And I wanted you as my boyfriend even more."

Replaying the week had me hard. It was interesting hearing Kaitlyn's side of it. "What did Joanna think of us making out? What she'd think about making out with Paul?"

"She was fine with us making out." Kaitlyn paused for a bit. "You have to realize that Joanna and I have been close for a very long time. So now, we don't have to say a lot. She knew I had a crush on you. She knew I was enjoying kissing you. I think she knew I was lying when I was lying, and that what I really wanted to do was make out with you. So we didn't really talk about it. She loved dressing up sexily. She enjoyed planning what we were going to do each night. I'd make a joke about what I wanted to do, and then she'd let me do it. She even worked to make it happen. She wanted me to do what made me happy, and she trusted me to not hurt her in doing so. So we didn't really talk about you and me making out." That made some sense. "As for making out with Paul, we didn't discuss that either. I think she liked it, but she liked it because it was a piece in a larger whole. It was part of being naughty and letting me have what I wanted. Paul was very nice to her, but she vastly preferred you to him."

"Okay. Then on Thursday?"

"On Thursday-" Kaitlyn's phone rang. She looked at it, and I could see that it was Joanna calling. Kaitlyn answered it with, "Hey! Brandon and I are talking about the fun the three of us had at the lake." Kaitlyn listened and her face quickly turned serious. She nodded her head a couple of times. "That was the right thing to tell her." She listened some more. "Of course. We'll do it. I'll talk to Brandon. I hope he'll agree, but if he doesn't, we'll go forward with just you and me." Kaitlyn listened some more. She was smiling now. "You'd do the same for me." Kaitlyn listened for a bit more. "Let me go." A brief listen. "Bye."

Kaitlyn set her phone down and looked over at me. "Big news. The guy her mom has been dating moved in while we were at the lake house. He's a little creepy, and Joanna is not comfortable living there with him. So she wants to sublet an apartment for the summer. Our plan was always that if he moved in, we'd get an apartment. She told her mom about you telling her that you loved her and that you wanted to live with her. She then told her mom that you wanted her to live with you right away, and that you were looking for a summer sublet for the three of us."

"Basically what I rejected yesterday."

"Yeah, but things have changed. She needs to move out. If you don't want to live with us, that's okay; we'll just say that you are. It's not like her mom will check. You're just an excuse, so she can gracefully move out. She wants this relationship to work for her mom. Life is so much better for her when there's two paychecks coming into the household. Joanna and her mom have been living life on the edge for the last two years. Lots of dinners of beans and rice. Driving as little as possible because there's no money to fix the car if there's car trouble. Shopping at Goodwill and sewing their work clothes. Or not having any new work clothes. If all the guy does is pay half the rent and groceries, it'd make a huge difference. And this guy is fifty, so maybe he's ready to settle down and behave."

"Why does Joanna need to move out?"

"She had to beat off several assaults from her mom's prior boyfriend. Whenever she thought her mom might leave her alone with that loser, she'd figure out a way to get out of the apartment before her mom left. She spent a huge amount of time doing homework over here. I'd suggest we'd go shopping whenever she'd say a certain code word. It was a very, very scary time for her. This guy may never make a move on her, but the idea of being alone in the apartment with him brings back all the trauma of living with the prior boyfriend."

That sounded absolutely awful. "Okay. I guess we'll be living with Joanna as soon as possible."

"That's great. Kaitlyn made a pushing gesture with her hands. "Setting all that aside, I think her living with you this summer is the best thing for hers and your relationship."

I furrowed my brow. "Why do you think that?"

"Look, you told her that you loved her, and I think that's great. It made her very happy. But she's had lots of guys tell her that they loved her. She needs to hear a lot more than words. She needs to see commitment. She's never had a guy who was committed to her. Her dad disappeared before she was two. All of her mom's boyfriends haven't stuck around for very long. Her boyfriends haven't lasted. My theory at the beginning of the summer was that when she didn't feel like her boyfriend wasn't committing to her, she'd start doing self-defeating behavior. That's why I pushed so early for you to agree to take her to the lake house."

I was confused. "Why was agreeing to take her to the lake house such a big deal?"

"Because it showed that you were committed to her; that you weren't going to drop her after a month. It also showed you were proud enough of having her as your girlfriend that you were willing to have her spend a week with our parents. The Friday that Paul came to our house for the first time, we talked about going to the lake house that evening. That was the first time you talked about her going to the lake house with you, wasn't it?"

I thought back. "I think so."

"The next Monday on the drive to work, I could tell a big difference with Joanna. At some point, she brought up that you were only dating her because I had forced you into it and that you didn't really like her; that you were just looking to have sex with her. She's had similar conversations with me about other boyfriends. In those conversations, I could see her feeling of self-worth plunge. But this time, I could push back. This time, I could say you were committed to her and proud to have her as a girlfriend. She pooh-poohed what I was saying, but I could see it affecting her. Telling our parents that you were committed to bringing her to the lake house raised her self-confidence and her feeling of self-worth."

I thought back to that time. "The next night after that was when we made love for the first time. She initiated it. I told her for the first time that night that I was her boyfriend. Our relationship really took off after that."

Kaitlyn nodded. "And she's been the happiest she's ever been since. She had a tangible commitment from you throughout this week, and I think she needed a new commitment from you to keep her feeling of self-worth up. If you had just said 'I love you' for the rest of the summer with no new commitment, she'd think you're only saying that to have sex with her, as her other boyfriends had done."

"So you pushed me to commit to living with her this fall."

"Yes. At the lake house, she was still struggling with her self-worth. She still didn't think she was good enough for you to date her long-term. Telling her 'I love you' in no uncertain terms boosted her self-worth. But you committing to living with her this fall and telling our parents that you loved her and were going to live with her this fall really pushed up her self-worth. She knows you really love her now. She wouldn't have told her mom that you had asked her to live with you as soon as possible if she didn't think you'd back her up on that."

"So why this summer? Shouldn't committing to live together this fall be good enough?"

"It probably would be. But I think living together now will really cement in Joanna's head that you love her and are fully committed to her. You could have always backed out on living together this fall."

It was very odd having a conversation with my sister about how much Joanna loved me. I wasn't the greatest at having relationship discussions, but one would think that Joanna should be telling me this stuff. And speaking of Joanna telling me stuff... "Why didn't Joanna call me tonight instead of calling you?"

"Several reasons. Joanna isn't confrontational. She wasn't going to call you up and say she told her mom that the three of us were going to do what you rejected yesterday. She wanted me to convince you to do it. And that convincing involved discussing her mom's last loser, which is something she hates discussing. She probably wanted to keep the conversation brief, so she could get back to spending time with her mom and her boyfriend. She could do that with me, but not with you. And she trusts my judgment. She wanted to hear me agree that what she did was the right thing to do."

"Amazing." I shook my head. It was stunning to have Kaitlyn pull back the curtain and show just how close she and Joanna were and how her and Joanna's relationship worked. "You don't have to live with us."

"Joanna has already told her mom that the three of us will live together. I don't want to change from that. And I think a quarter of the rent is all Joanna can afford."

I thought that over. "That makes sense. Now, where were you in your telling me about what happened from your point of view at the lake house? Thursday?"

"Thursday. That was the day we went shopping. I was on such a high that day. The prior night, the four of us had had sex in the same room. While Paul was going down on me, it was easy to imagine you doing it to me with you being right there. The crazy dream of having you as my boyfriend was really strong. During the shopping trip was the first time I discussed with Joanna my feelings for you. And I got very selfish. Up to that point, Joanna had been fine with going along with me having fun with you. At shopping, I got her to agree with something I realize now she wasn't comfortable with. We agreed we'd never have sex with someone who wasn't our boyfriend; no oral either way and no fucking. But that gave me a huge amount of freedom in what I could do with you. And I was very confident that whatever I wanted to do, you'd want to do it too. I was so crazy about you that I was prepared to take advantage of my best friend's trust in me. And then Thursday night was a blast. I told you that I wanted to fuck you; that I wanted to feel you cum inside of me. And you didn't reject that. I could tell you wanted it too. I was on such a high after I told you that."

Kaitlyn was quiet after that, apparently reliving that high. I said, "And then...?"

"And then, Paul wanted to go into our bedroom and fuck. I didn't want to go. I didn't want to fuck him. I didn't want to touch him. I wanted you and only you. But I had to fuck him, and I did. And Paul was an ass that night. Afterward, I realized that I had gotten myself into a terrible place. I had just fucked a guy I now loathed and wanted out of my life. But I couldn't get him out of my life. I had to have him as my boyfriend to participate in naughty time while Mom and Dad did their evening walk. Yes, at the next naughty time, I could probably whip you up into such a frenzy of lust that you'd fuck me. But at what cost? If I fucked you, that meant Paul would fuck Joanna. Would you ever forgive her for that? The only thing I wanted was you as my boyfriend, but you hadn't shown any interest in being my boyfriend. And for you to be my boyfriend, that would mean Joanna giving you up as her boyfriend, and that would be bad for her as you were such a good boyfriend to her. Paul, the guy I loathed, had already seen me doing things with my brother that would be very embarrassing if it got out. Did I want him to see me fuck you? Did I want my best friend to fuck such a loser?"

Kaitlyn stopped talking, leaned back in her chair and folded her arms. "As much as I wanted you, the cost was too high. Over the morning, I decided to give up on it. And once I decided to give up on it, I didn't want Paul around. So I had you take him home. And I felt really guilty; not about anything we did - we're adults, and we both consented - but about taking advantage of Joanna's trust in me and possibly hurting her relationship with you." Kaitlyn rolled her chair over to me while leaning forward so she could put her hands on my knees. "Don't blame Joanna for anything she did with Paul. It was all my fault. She'll never do anything like that again because I'll never put her in a position where she needs to do something like that for my happiness. Please say you will."

I smiled. Kaitlyn's love for Joanna was touching. "I won't blame Joanna."

"Great. And once again, I'm sorry I lied to you and deceived you. I'm not sorry about anything I did with you. I loved it, and I think you enjoyed it. If I had the chance, I'd do it all over again."

I didn't know what to say to that. I was beginning to accept that I had loved making out with my sister too, but I wasn't ready to say that out loud. If I had the chance, would I do it all over again? Maybe.

Kaitlyn said, "How about this? You start searching for subleases. I'll go tell Mom and Dad the news about us living together this summer. Or would you prefer something else?"

I stood up. "No, that'll be fine."

* * * *

In my bedroom, I hit Craigslist and searched for sublets. I set a price range based on the apartments near my college. I found several sublet ads that were fully furnished and out of our price range. There were two ads for apartments in apartment complexes; one was for a nine-month sublease and the other was for a six-month sublease. Too long for us. The only ad that looked like it could work for us was a house undergoing major renovations. Only the two upstairs bedrooms and the kitchen were not under construction. It had a pool in the backyard and a nice patio. It was furnished, which would save us from having to buy furniture now. Contractors would be working on the house during the day. Seeing nothing better, I replied to the ad.

I gave Joanna a call. "Hey. I hear you want to live with me."

"I do."

"That's great, because I want to live with you." I told her about my search.

"That would do. I like the backyard pool and the patio. I'd like to spend a lot of our evenings just hanging out."

"I'd like that too."

"I'm sorry--"

"Don't be. There are a lot of good points about us living together now. I wasn't in the mood to let Kaitlyn push me as far as she wanted to, so I wasn't open to the idea of living with you this summer. I like the idea now. But it'll probably take a week to secure a place. Are you okay there? Or do you want to move in with me in my bedroom until we find an apartment?"

"I think I'm fine. I've got a good reason to spend every evening with you. I don't want it to be obvious that I don't want to live with Mom and her loser. Mom was surprised when I told her you wanted us to live together right away, but she accepted it. That being said, I'd like to move in this weekend."

"Okay. I'll do my best."

* * * *

The next morning, Kaitlyn and Joanna had an important conversation I'd hear about much later as they drove to work in Kaitlyn's car.

Joanna said, "Okay. Thursday afternoon when we went shopping, you talked me into being open about switching boyfriends. Thursday night was to be a test run. Everybody had a great time Thursday night. And then Friday morning, you told me you were having second thoughts about the switch. You told me to be friendly and flirty with Paul, and to tell you if he talked about being my boyfriend."

"And all he talked about was fucking you and seeing Brandon and me fuck."

"Yes. So you had Brandon take him home. Let me be clear - I'm very glad we didn't switch. I was very iffy about the switch but was willing to trust you. Then when Brandon got back to the lake house, he told me that he loved me, and it's been like a dream ever since. But what happened late Thursday night so that you called off the switch and instead sent Paul home?"

Kaitlyn sighed. "To be honest, exactly what I told you and Brandon. I had talked you into switching boyfriends. I thought that would be the hardest part of making the switch happen. Thursday night, it was electric between Brandon and me, so I was sure he'd go for the switch. It just came down to Paul. I felt he knew it was over between us. I had set him up with a replacement girlfriend. I even got him to sample the goods, so to speak. He was all fired up when we got to the bedroom. When we were done, all he had to say was that he wanted you, and we'd make the switch. I had lots of different conversation lines worked up. Hopefully, he'd see the obvious and say as he and I were about to break up, he wanted you to be his girlfriend. If instead he said that he wanted to fuck you, I'd say that you were only interested in fucking your boyfriend. And then I'd lead Paul to ask if you and I would switch boyfriends so he could fuck you. Etc, etc. But when we were done fucking, all Paul wanted to talk about was me fucking Brandon. That was not what I thought he'd want to talk about. It was not what I wanted to talk about. I didn't want to admit that I desperately wanted my brother as my boyfriend. I wanted it to be that I arranged for Paul to be with you, and that Brandon and I would be left together."

"We'd know that you were lovers, but we'd pretend to not know it."

"Exactly. You don't discuss a brother and sister being lovers in polite conversation. But Paul didn't get it. He didn't get that I was offering him a new girlfriend, but he had to show he wanted her. It was all about Brandon and me. That put me on the defensive, and Paul kept me on the defensive. Finally, I told him I didn't want to talk to him anymore, so he should play his stupid game."

"Then why didn't you tell me in the morning that everything was off?"

"Because I had come so close!" Kaitlyn slammed the steering wheel with her fist. "I wanted Brandon! I hoped Paul would come to his senses overnight, that he'd realize how great of a girlfriend you'd be." Kaitlyn touched Joanna's arm reassuringly. "I was not going to initiate the switch unless I was absolutely sure you'd be happy with Paul. Paul had to want you. He had to want to make you happy. He had to want to treat you the way you deserved to be treated. But he never said that. The whole morning on the boat, it was like he thought we'd swap partners when it came time for sex that night, and then I'd be his girlfriend again. The big dolt. I was so done with him. The only reason I hadn't sent him home sooner was because I needed him to be around. Once I knew he wouldn't cooperate, I had Brandon take him home." Kaitlyn came to a stop at a light and caught her breath. "I've come to realize that my plan not only was selfish but wouldn't work. It was way too dependent on Paul. So, I'm glad we didn't switch. Were you willing to switch with me just because you trusted me?"

"No. Well, sort of. The big thing was I felt that Brandon considered our relationship to be only for the summer. If I switched with you, then I'd be in a long-term relationship with Paul. And you'd be in a long-term relationship with Brandon. So I felt bad about agreeing to switch to Paul without breaking up with Brandon, but we'd all end up in the long-term relationships we wanted by doing so. Paul wouldn't be a great boyfriend like Brandon, but he'd be a good boyfriend. And I felt I was deserving of a good but not great boyfriend, so that was more likely to work long-term for me."