All Comments on 'A Wife's Fantasy'

why bother?

more cuck shit.

Not a story...Just a incomplete scene between two cheaters...1st - They stayed at the same mountain resort for a conference, and "His wife had stayed behind at home"... and "her husband had gone to bed early"! where in hell had he gone to bed early? at home? at the resort? in another hotel? Why stay in another hotel? 2nd - the cabin didn't had electricity, but they did find easily a lot of candles...3rd - They were seated in the couch...how in hell could she felt her knees weaken? 1* (where are the negative ratings when we need them?)

If all you wrote was, I hated my husband so much I fucked a friend of ours before I was divorced for cause and left with nothing.

Not a thing wrong with it. You should write a longer chapter 2 about the rest of the night and the aftermath. Perhaps this morphs into a wife swap arrangement.

Maybe you would be happier over in the B.T.B stories where they hate and punish women.You sure hate cuck stories enough but here you are every day.

Maybe you should shut the fuck up. Same old crappy comment on every story. Get a life ass wipe. Who the fuck are you to tell anybody what to do or read?

.....Everyone was happily married!! Ha ha ha!!! And at the first possibility she cheats??!! Are you brain sick?? Your protagonist is only a cheap slut!! Nothing more!! And if you are married and thats your fantasy then you are like her " a cheap slut"!!!!

I assume you have read both stories and comments on this site before you decided to submit your story. If so, you know how tough the readers here are. It’s safe to say, “If they had even an ounce of the milk of human compassion, many of them drank it long ago.” They don’t appear to have bothered to check your Bio; if they had, they’d have seen this is your first story. I can’t help but wonder just what pearls of wisdom they’d produce on their first try.

However, don’t ignore all comments you received, for some, even the critical ones, had good advice. The story is very short for a new writer to do successfully; you need to be clearer about just where Hubby was, (I assumed you saw the conference held on the mountain, while the attendees stayed in motels down below.) Apparently many didn’t pick up on the bit about them needing a ride back to where they were staying, but then most readers probably have never been sent on a trip by their employee and aren’t aware of the money saving cuts often employed.

For a constructive comment, I suggest you read everything you can about creative writing,(plotting, characterization , and such) Writers resources here on LIT is a treasure trove of info. If you enjoy writing, keep writing stories you like; post them and consider the comments you receive. Not all who comment lack any shred of human kindness.You will get good advice, you'll just have to pick it out of the refuse.

Good Luck-- cd

Just awful

The narrative was actually pretty easy to read though the storyline just made me sad. That's me. Others will find it erotic, I did not. I simply don't understand how getting some "strange" (while betraying the primary relationship) is erotic to some of those who visit here. For me it would have been more erotic if husband and wife got trapped and used each other completely with the chance that they might get caught out.

Ignore the comment about choppiness of the narrative. It wasn't choppy at all.

This is a story about an Erotic Coupling. What did being married have to do with the substance of the story? So the erotic couplers betrayed their spouses. That detail was given exactly no significance in the plot and drama. This was two dogs, meeting in an alley, and doing what dogs in heat do. Everyone knows most women are just cauldrons of lust and sexual energy. Well, before they get married, or before they become Lesbians. Frequency of sex is greatest for homosexual men, least for homosexual women. Possible reaction from a lonely horny female, sure. Probable reaction from a woman in a good marriage, No. So since the story is all about the fucking, and nothing about the adultery, or the consequences, put such stories in the right Fucking category. I think this would get great reviews there, where the fans type 5's with one hand while jacking off with the other.

So I wonder why you take an effeminate pen name, but write like a 13 year old boy dreaming of women who can't wait to be fucked by the god cockmaster. If you ever figure out what sex you really are, add it to your bio. And if you ever get any sex, consider yourself lucky, I hope. Just be really really careful what you hope for.

There was that time, at dinner. He was with his wife, and I with my husband. We all knew eachother. Everyone was happily married.

Was being the operative word. I guess the happy times are over. So why did you choose loving wives for this short story assignment. A mild erotic coupling by a pair that tossed away their marriage at the first opportunity. No loving wives there..

Have to respectively disagree with you "foolscap".

He slowly put his cock inside me again. And he fucked me so hard. I was panting and groaning. I didn't want it to end. We came at the same time.

What would you call those five sentences? Short and choppy? You could have said the same thing in one sentence. It's obvious you've never written anything. You're supposed to help authors, not encourage them to continue a bad writing style.

Sorry author, you didn't impress this readers with your theme or writing style.

Well at least some of us are honest in our opinions and encourage authors to improve. If you consider that a negative, that's your problem.

This took me back 30 years to the olden days. The readers here certainly rememeber those pre-Viagra days. The story has potential but the characters are not real. The fantasy is real enough but even if this has played out a dozen times in your mind is incomplete. Tell us who the horrible people are.

more cuck shit.

with a dirty mind. Come for me baby, let me fill you up, till your cup runs over. Want to have lunch?

Respectfully, I continue to disagree with your opinion. I'm not sure that 8th grade composition standards apply to this kind of story telling and the pace of the story is not improved by reducing it to one sentence. I suspect that you write for the eye and not the ear in the larger context of the story. It's your style and there is nothing wrong with it. However what you call "short and choppy" provides the reader the the opportunity to experience the events described (if they want to do so) at their own pace in their own context. As you would tell it the whole experience is reduced to a very smooth, homogenous narrative that just slides by with no opportunity for the reader to consciously (or subconsciously) consider the events as they took place.

Admittedly your sentence would receive a higher grade in class but I'm not sure it tells a better story.

As to what I've written, that's not at issue but I would suggest that you hiding behind Anonymous gives you no more standing than an unwashed such as myself. I will say that your comments here said more about you than about the story. And they flowed very nicely but were incredibly boring and picayune, at least to my way of thinking.

Yes the text could use a lot of work but I would hope that there are others who could provide insight without draining the life right out of the story.

This is not a great story, but not bad for a first try. Keep trying.

Get a divorce slut.

This was terrible by any measure.