All Comments on 'A Winter Tale'

You should end your love affair with the semicolon, it's distracting to the reader, and learn to embrace the coma, since it's the correct punctuation to use in most of the place where you have used the semicolon. Most authors are afraid to use the semicolon because they don't understand how to use it. I see that you don't know how to use it either. However, that doesn't stop you from using, and abusing it! You should also get someone to proofread your story before publishing. A spell checker will not tell you that you have left the 's' off of 'she' or the 'r' off of 'her', as you have done in your story. An editor will, or should. The story was good. The characters had depth. The dialog was good. The passion could have been a little hotter!! The sexual scenes could have been a little more descriptive.

in one paragraph you say he went to be alone and in the next you say he brought his step daughter. you can't be alone if you bring someone with you think before posting and do a rewrite on this story

thank you for the good tale

A dd sized breast that swung forward, as the story says, would hold a pencil and more.