A Woman Built for Sex

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A Man replaces his wife with the perfect woman.
750 words
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chymera
chymera
620 Followers

I brought home the love of my life on Wednesday.

It had been love-at-first sight for both of us. She was the perfect woman and I saw the love for me in her eyes.

My wife had been refusing my advances for some months since my short stay in the hospital. She claimed that I still wasn't myself, but there was nothing wrong with me anymore, except maybe the blue balls she was forcing on me. I was as healthy as a horse.

But Deidre was the perfect woman for me.

She was more than perfect. Blonde, with a sexy figure and lips made for a good blowjob. She was pliable and willing to make sweet love anytime I wanted. How could it be better? Maybe if she had a sister...

I carried her over the threshold into the house, past my astonished wife. I carried her all the way into the bedroom and laid her on my, or I should say our, marital bed.

"What the hell is this?" I heard my wife yelling as she came into the room behind me.

"Shush!" I told her and guided her out of the room. I didn't want to upset my new love or have her disturbed in her new home. I took my soon-to-be-ex-wife out into the living room and shoved her into a chair. "That's my new love. You're out of here, tonight!

"I've had it with your 'I've got a headache', 'not tonight, dear', and the 'you're just not yourself, sweetheart' bullshit. It's been 'not tonight' for too fucking long. I don't need you anymore! I won't need you ever again. Now I've got a woman who's there for me, who is willing to give me whatever I want, whenever I want it.

"She's a woman who's built for sex. She was made, by God, for sex: orally, anally, or vaginally. And she loves it all! And she loves me!" I did a little dance around the living room; I was so excited.

My wife jumped up and grabbed hold of me. "John, you can't be serious. You can't think that that thing...."

"Her name's Deidre! She's Deidre. Call her by her name!" I insisted.

"Okay," my ex said, visibly trying to calm down. "Deidre. You can't think Deidre..."

"Yes! I do! And you're out of here!" I yelled as I steered her out the front door. I closed and locked it behind her. I laughed and laughed and laughed. I was free! Free! The bitch was out, and the loving was in!

I had to get ready for Deidre. I went into the bathroom, shaved, and showered. I even did a little manscaping while I was at it. Then I thought about Deidre and her smooth, unblemished pubis. So, I shaved off all my pubic hair. I wanted everything to be perfect for my Deidre. So, I grabbed the after shave bottle.

BIG MISTAKE! Wow, that stung. I splashed water from the sink on my balls, trying to end the stinging. Didn't help. Back in the shower, yelling first at Deidre to let her know I would be a little delayed, but to just rest until I got there. The shower and some soothing aloe lotion my wife had calmed the burning skin, but applying it gave me an irresistible erection. I didn't resist.

After an overly long shower, I dried off again and blow dried my hair. I was looking good for my Deidre, and my junk was looking larger now that it was freed from the mat of hair that had been hiding it. I was looking good!

I came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel and was grabbed from behind by at least two men. They were trying to keep me from Deidre! I struggled, managing to free my left arm from one man's grip, and used it to punch the other man in the face. Suddenly, both arms were free. I began running down the hallway, pursued by the men in the white coats. My wife had brought them back, again. She was screaming at them, "Please! Don't hurt him! Please!"

As they dragged me down the hall, I saw Deidre sitting on our bed, with love in her eyes. She was still waiting patiently for me.

Damn these white coated men and damn my wife. Taking me from the love of my life!

I hadn't even gotten to be intimate with her. Hell, I hadn't even gotten to inflate her.

chymera
chymera
620 Followers
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41 Comments
ashleybelle6969ashleybelle69697 months ago

Thanks for the laugh!!! Hilarious

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Lol funnies

Regguy69Regguy698 months ago

Ha! Liked that! I suspected an adult toy, but the white-coat guys got me. Clever story.

OPrimeOPrime8 months ago

Okay, a good laugh. We are all a bit crazy, so why not?

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