All Comments on 'A Wonderful Mistake'

I really enjoyed this one. There were some grammar/tense slips but the story stands alone just fine. Great job.

A sweet story and you managed to work in the unexpected daddy angle about as believably as possible. I just hope you don't use the phrase "hairy delta" again in a Vietnam era story, as it triggers Apocalypse Now jokes in my head.

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Willard : [objecting to surfing in a war zone] It's pretty hairy in there. That's Charlie's point.

Kilgore : Charlie don't surf!

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Don't make them bring in the Napalm for that hairy delta.

You told a great and cohesive story here.

Thank you.

Cheers

A feel good story that I really enjoyed. The fact that Casey is Roy's daughter was expected but it didn't detract from a nice piece of work. I will read more of your stories now.

Thanks for your hard work.

Woodmanone

Great story!

5

and it probably should have been submitted in the Romance category. There just wasn't much here about a troubled or failed marriage. The substance of the plot was the mistaken paternity, then the romance developing with Roy. But if Dale had used a condom why wasn't he genuinely suspicious from the start about his being the father?

I found much of the details and descriptions boring and uninteresting. Just not much drama or suspense, especially since Roy's paternity was telegraphed early in the story.

A nice story about love and romance and parenthood. Thanks for the effort.

The comments have been very useful. Thanks to all that have taken the time to provide feedback. I only improve with your help.

This story was meant to go into Romance. Dale didn't have any better recollection of the events of the night than did anyone else. He didn't question the paternity because he couldn't remember if the ripped condom had been used and broke while engaged or not. An alcohol addled mind did not serve any of the characters well. Not a theme that seems to be taken seriously in many stories.

I thought our story was really great and it had a nice and wonderful twist. Keep it up.

I discovered you through the September Monthly Awards. Congratulations.

This was time well spent reading an enjoyable story. It was well structured and developed well. I hope you will soon team up with an editor to catch the simple things that slip through without another set of eyes looking.

I really enjoyed your storytelling and am looking forward to reading more of your stories.

Thank you for sharing this story with all of us.

I rarely read a non erotic story, but this one seemed interesting. It wasn't just good it was great. I agree it really should be in the Romance category.

Yup! As good as expected! Quality follows quality on this site. Really nice story development, non linear. No real villain, the kind of screwed up circumstances that booze and hot young bodies are designed to create

Another example of the quality of writing and plot development I have come to expect from Rachel’s work. Cute story hidden inside some mild misdirection. The type and quality of storytelling I have become addicted to on this site. Alcohol and youthful exuberance combine to create the plausible answers, just as we’ve seen happen in real life. No real hateful characters here, just immature kids caught in a bad situation, which gets resolved as well as one could expect. One can easily imagine each of the characters as broader than two dimensional props. thanks Rachel! Keep up the good work...

chur m8 awsum story

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Well-written, feel-good story! Thanks!

A simply great story. 5 stars!!! It had enough sex to make "those people" happy . Heart warming. The "right" people got together. At my age I have loved and lost a time or two or three. The people in your story are my generation. The every forth/fifth step forward was true with many of my friends (I lost a couple in Nam). I had wonderfully low draft number tried to enlist and was told because of ear problems I "was not needed."

The one thing your story does not have is a good poker face I guessed that Roy was the real dad quite early before the DNA test request. This had a wonderful "Happy ever after" ending all tied up in a bow. I can't wait to read more of your work.

You mentioned improving with feedback, so I will delicately provide some critique to this otherwise wonderful story. All nouns when used as a name need to be capitalized. The little girl’s teddy bear was called Bear and this should have been capitalized. Honey, when used as a name, needs to be capitalized as well. Even asshole, when used as a name should be capitalized. “Hey, Asshole, why did you do that?” If it is not a name, do not capitalize it. ”Don’t be such an asshole.” You, like many authors, also get confused when using mom as a noun versus Mom as a name. For example, “I like my mom.“ “I like you, Mom.”

Just a few issues, as explained by someone who was a very small person in the Viet Nam Era, familiar with the USMC, etc.... The 911 system wasn't fully implemented until AFTER the Vietnam conflict, a jarhead would have a set of dress blues/panty droppers in a closet with their greens, and a lot of the colloquial terms used are more contemporaneous with the 80's and 90's, rather than the 60's or 70's.. well done otherwise. Great plot twist.

Thank you for the comments. I've changed the text to reflect the lack of 911. Not all that many Marines had dress blues issued unless they had specific duties or elected to buy them for themselves. Of course, everyone had greens. I'll have to check on the other uniforms and what they were called.

Awww, I wanted to read about her being fucked into oblivion.

Top shelf! 5+