All Comments on 'AAA+ Everything Box'

Only 4 iso 5. This totally irresponsible breeding gets to me.

The story isn't too bad, but shows the danger of power corrupts.

Heck of a read, binged it when I should have been writing my own. Love seeing more wholesome mind control, people willing to look at consequences and try their best to mitigate them.

Author's Notes:

1. First page, halfway down, I left in a mistaken edit where he gets up to eat, then says he's slow to get up to eat. I know, mistake. Apologies. I can't fix it now, it's published. That said, looking at my author's biography page, there's a link to a place with a corrected version where I've fixed that, as an epub format.

2. The chapter heading, 'KJR' is Kevin, Junior', a leftover from a previous edit, too, please ignore. Again, can't fix it without resubmitting and waiting a few weeks for review.

I really loved this story. I couldn't put it down. I really liked that your protagonist, Kevin, was always trying to do the right thing, even though he had all that power.

Great read. Couldn’t put it down. Great mix o relationships with just the right amount of angst.

Again. 2 stories about the AAA, with no indication if one is before the other, and they are BOTH over 20 pages.

@unclebeardy, I have heard some ideas here that stories should be broken into chapters of 3 to 4 (literotica) pages each, and posted that way. I think this is your criticism? True, I could have put this in the 'Novels and Novellas' section, it would have fit length-wise, but really this is a MC story so I put it here. Apologies if you find it long, it's just the way the story fell out of me.

No, I didn't mean for any of my stories to be sequels, so far. I'm working on one that's a series, but haven't released the second part yet, and it says so at the top disclaimer section for that work. This is a standalone work, not related to others. The AAA+ reference was just saying it was a good-box, not that it was related to another work of mine. Thank you for reading!! All comments appreciated since I like to know what people are thinking.

The story is brilliantly written and I really enjoyed reading it. But was spoiled somewhat by how he just kept trying to sleep with every woman he met. I wish the story had been a bit more romantic focusing on his core group of women more.

He asked for wisdom and then did that stupid, idiotic, shortsighted, cruel thing on page 10 with demanding Lisa have his child!!!!

Make one of his actual girls he loves have his child!

Making some one he has no intention of marrying, keeping, or even staying in her life at all have his child is stupid, shortsighted and cruel! To her and the child!

He wants her to give him a child and then never see the kid, interact with or love them! For them to be raised never meeting or knowing their father!

If he wants a child one of his girls can have it & then at least it’s raised in their father’s family with a mother, father, aunts, and grandmother.

That is so stupidly idiotically cruel and shortsighted! To both the mother and the child.

It wouldn’t be so bad in the story if the previous chapters hadn’t been building up how smart he’s been getting and how he also asked for increased wisdom to know how to use his powers and new skills better.

This story is brilliantly written and I enjoyed it. But that was such a horrible thing for the main character to do I almost stopped reading and abandoned the story right there!!

I feel like a want to slap the main character and yell at him demanding to know what he was thinking! That alone breaks almost the entire ‘ethical’ mind controller premise of this story & turns him completely into a cruel villain. I HATE this sequence of the story & have no idea how you expect us to still like him after that section.

On page 13 Megan says she likes kids and wants to run a day care.

So instead Kevin turns her into a business woman who will owe several daycare’s but not actually have anything to do with them or ever interact with the kids she likes and picked that profession for…. right… just perfect 🤦‍♂️ he is terrible at “helping”.

The felon clause on page 17 is horrible! It doesn’t say “if you are currently a criminal” it says anyone who has even been caught (even if it was 20 years ago & they have a nice stable peaceful life, or they are currently on parole and not allowed to leave) will just abandon their life and friends and family randomly.

His “wisdom” was the one thing that box failed to actually give him!

It’s a well written fun story, but he handles his power with the skill and finesse of a toddler playing with a blowtorch!

To anon of "He asked for": You're making great points. I was trying to put the character in a mindset of being an early-college-age guy. He was definitely in the mode of 'create children' and not 'care for children' and maybe the thing about that is watching them being born and holding them when they're young - he hasn't done that yet. You make perfect points about the hard part being the afterwards. I will attend to this in future stories better, the sensibility you're bringing to this is a character growth point and it's worth making a good development arc around. Thank you so much for helping here. My writing is very much an organic, here's-a-thing-what-happens-next sort of growth. I usually have an end point in place, but not aways, and I'm sure the idiocy of having a single person with that much power is not going to do good things to the reality of their lives in many ways, and that's interesting as a place to go. Thanks again for reading it, and especially for commenting, I do enjoy hearing what people think and ideas on what could have been different or better or worse etc. Peace out.

I really liked this story, but felt it rushed at the end to wrap up on the last page.

But overall still another 5 ★★★★★ offering.