Abandoned Rage

"I started to object, and that's when Mark recalled that I worked for you. He told me in no uncertain terms that if I said anything to you, I would regret it. He said that it was better that Sherri and I leave if I couldn't keep my mouth shut."

I looked at James. The guy was truly hurting as he recalled the conversation. I could see a very embarrassed blush running up his neck, and I was also surprised to see his eyes were moist.

"I'm sorry Gregory, we couldn't stay for dinner. Sherri wanted us to. She wanted us to be there for you. But Mark and a couple of the guys basically walked us out, telling us to stay away."

"James...." I started to say, feeling for the guy. He held up his hand to stop me.

"Sorry Gregory, I need to finish. I promised Sherri."

I nodded yet again.

"I must admit I was stunned," he continued. "I had just been ejected from my class reunion because your wife was about to betray you and I was a loose end. Though mad, we didn't know what to do, so Sherri and I went straight to the club. Again, we both agreed we wanted to be there for you."

"What happened?" I asked, my head cocked to the side. "I didn't see you there?"

"We were there. However, by the time you arrived, we were up the back. A couple of the guys blocked us from getting to you until Jillian told you. When you left, they let us go after a few minutes. Both Sherri and I ran after you, but by the time we made it out you were gone.

"I think we must have stayed out in front of the club for about half an hour, stunned but not sure what to do. In the end, Sherri convinced me that we should go back inside and see what was happening." James paused looking at me trying to judge how much more to tell me. I nodded my head at him again, and he swallowed.

"When Sherri and I went back in, we were basically persona non grata to just over half the class. The other half was disgusted, and once they came to understand that I worked for you, they kind of surrounded us and didn't let anyone near us for the rest of the night.

"And..." I started but just couldn't finish it.

"They danced and drank without a care in the world," James told me swallowing even though I could tell his mouth was dry. "I'm sorry Gregory, but they acted like you were nothing. The few snippets of conversation that made it back over to us told us that this had been planned for months. It was worse when the gossip told us that Jillian and Troy are planning on getting married as soon as they can."

James looked at the ground then. He held his hands tight in his lap.

"At home that night we didn't sleep well. Sherri and I ended up fighting over everything yesterday even though we were both repulsed by Jillian and Troy's behaviour.

"Ultimately this leads us to this morning and this," James said, drawing a piece of paper out of his notebook and placing it on the table in front of me.

"What's this?" I asked picking up the page and reading the words quickly.

"My resignation," he said defeated.

I noted that it was signed and dated yesterday.

"James..." I started.

"No Gregory," he replied. "It's wrong what they did to you, and I wasn't able to help you even though you have been an amazing boss and dare I say, friend. You deserve more than that. Sherri and I agree it's better for me to resign than you to see what happened to you Friday night every time you look at me."

For a moment we said nothing. I looked again at his resignation and laughed. Well, it was more like a bark than a laugh, but for the first time, I felt something other than sorrow and anger.

Colleen and James looked at me. I pinched the page in the middle along the long edge and tore it in two.

"Your resignation is rejected," I said. Behind us, I saw Colleen smile.

James looked shocked.

"But Gregory, what... why..." he was trying to say.

"James, first off, my friends call me Greg. With what you just told me, I would like you to think of me as a friend. You tried to help and tried to warn me, but you couldn't. They were ready for you. But you're here and offering yourself as a sacrifice because you feel for me. If that's not a friend, nothing is.

"James, I am hurt beyond reason," I explained. "I am both depressed and have a rage burning inside me that demands justice. But I am not blind. I can see from what you just told us that you are upset as well."

James nodded, "Sherri and I thought it best."

"I know," I replied. "And that's one of the reasons I want Sherri and yourself to stay with us."

For the next half hour, we talked. In the end Colleen, James and I walked out of my office, calling everyone back into the meeting room. I explained how James was blindsided almost as much as me and was ejected from his own reunion because of the two cheaters. As I explained it and what had happened and what I wanted everyone to do. Any animosity towards James disappeared, indeed by the time we all walked out, there were a few devious smiles on everyone's faces.

For the rest of the week, I spent most of my time in the office. However, other than advising my staff on what they needed to be doing, I spent more of my time setting the wheels turning in my divorce.

I didn't end up mailing the divorce. I had Jillian served at work. It didn't matter as adultery is not a binding factor in Australian divorces. I still made sure that my lawyers, Mike and his associate Sally, included the statement of adultery clearly on the legal documents.

After she got the documents, I got a few calls and text messages from Jillian, which I didn't delete, but promptly ignored. I assumed they would be angry messages, so I let them pile up on my phone. I busied myself with managing bank accounts, asset listings, validating cancelled cards, insurance, that sort of thing. My team sorted through my legal documents and made sure everything was up to date and that Jillian couldn't touch as thing.

Colleen made a point to drop by my place on Tuesday evening with a meal and gasped more than once at the destruction throughout my house. The tears that she cried as she walked room to room could have left a trail that Hansel and Gretel could follow.

On Wednesday morning, Colleen got onto my insurance agency and started arranging an assessment of the damage. I don't know how she did it, but by Friday, she had managed to arrange assessors and cleaning crews for my house. Everything would start happening the following week.

By Friday night, I was exhausted, both physically and mentally. But I still wasn't sleeping well, so Saturday morning with no work, I rose early and took myself for a run. I ended up running down to our local shops and sitting at a café where I enjoyed coffee and a croissant before jogging home a couple of hours later.

Arriving back at the house, I was surprised to find Jillian sitting on the front steps waiting for me. I had not seen her since the Friday when she left me. She was dressed casually in jeans, sneakers and a casual blouse. But the shirt and shoes were mismatched. It appeared the loverboy didn't help her with her appearance.

I stopped about halfway up the driveway, a thin sheen of sweat covering my body as I pulled my earphones out. Antisleep by Blue Stahli blasted out until I silenced the loud music. If you're ever after some music to help the rage, check it out.

For a moment neither of us said anything.

"Greg, it's good to see your..." Jillian started saying. I suddenly spat a ball of phlegm out of the side of my mouth onto the grass, stopping her mid-sentence.

"What?" I replied, with her pause. "You're surprised that I'm looking after myself after my cheating, whore of a wife betrayed me in front of an entire group of people? Afraid that I would have killed myself because you tore my heart out with no warning? Worried I might be laying in a puddle of my own vomit, so drunk because you fucked me over so badly that I couldn't function?"

I glared at her and Jillian had the good grace to take a half step back and pale just a little.

"It wasn't like that Greg. I never meant to..."

"Hurt me!" I almost yelled at her, interrupting the usual cheater spiel of excuses. For a moment she did nothing and then just nodded her head. "Like I fucking believe that, Jillian, you purposely, and I do mean purposely, lined everything up to very specifically tell me you were leaving me in front of people I thought were friends. You purposely set out to destroy me."

She looked at her feet.

"Greg it wasn't my idea to do it that way." She said quietly. "Mark and Troy thought that if we did it that way you wouldn't try to fight it."

I threw my head back and laughed.

"You have got to be joking," I said bitterly as I settled myself down. "I mean, we've known each other for years, would have been married five years soon, and you thought when I found you had been running around on me or that you were going to leave me that I would try to fight for you?"

Jillian blushed. "But..."

"No buts bitch," I spat at her. "You gave up any demand for my attention or defence the moment you spread your legs for that asshole. It just took a while for me to find out. However now it's out in the open, you can fuck off!"

"Greg, that's no way to talk to me. I mean I am still your wife." Jillian retorted, some anger now creeping into her voice.

"Ha!" I said as I started again walking up the drive and past her to the front door. I pulled my keys and unlocked the door. As I walked in Jillian made to walk in behind me until I put a hand up and stopped her.

"You're not invited in," I told her without ceremony.

"But... Greg... it's still my house too," she sputtered.

I shook my head. "No, it's not. It never was. The house belongs to the trust, and my wage paid a rental fee each month towards the trust."

She looked at me not understanding. "Look, Jillian, it's not your house anymore, you don't live here, but wait here I have a few things for you." And I closed the door behind her.

As I walked into my study, I sent a quick message to my lawyer letting her know that Jillian was there. I picked up a couple of things and walked back to the front door. Jillian was still standing there.

"Greg, I..." she started saying. I held up my hand in the universal sign for shut the fuck up.

"Firstly, it's Gregory. I told you, only my friends get to call me Greg, and you certainly are not a friend."

Jillian swallowed.

"Second," I said handing her a small binder. "In here is a cheque for your half of our marital assets."

Her eyes went wide. The impact of the cheque she suddenly held in her hand told her more than the divorce paperwork that we were through.

"Third, I'm told you have something for me?"

She looked uncertain for a moment, then opened her handbag, pulled out a manila envelope and handed it to me. "I'm sorry Greg... I mean Gregory."

"You will be," I said cryptically.

I opened the envelope with her standing there and leafed through the first few pages. I snorted and looked up at her.

Jillian blushed, knowing I was reading that in response to my divorce petition she wanted seventy-five per cent of our savings and fifty per cent of my business.

I leafed through to the back and then came up against the next document which was a restraining order that would go into effect Monday barring me from the house or from knowingly being within a hundred meters of Jillian or Troy.

"Really?" I asked, eyebrows raised.

At that moment, she couldn't look me in the eyes. She knew that everyone had gone too far. To be honest, Jillian had always gone with the flow. Now it was going to hurt her much worse than she ever thought.

I pulled out my phone and called my divorce lawyer. I stood staring at Jillian as she pawed the ground with her feet. Sally, Mike's associate and my now divorce lawyer picked up on the second ring.

"Hi Sally, I have Jillian standing in front of me, in front of my house, and aside from her demands responding to the divorce petition, she is presenting me with a restraining order that in addition to staying away from her and the asswipe, includes my house, in which she no longer lives.

As I listened to Sally swear like a sailor, I watched Jillian turn a few shades of red as she could clearly hear the cursing on the other end of the line. Sally would deal with it and tell me what to do.

"So," I said addressing Jillian as I hung up. "How does it feel to be one of the most despicable human beings on the face of the planet Jillian?"

For a moment she said nothing.

"It's not like that Greg... ory," Jillian replied quietly. "I convinced Troy that we should give you until Monday to move out so that we could move in."

I laughed, "You can't move in. It's not your house!" I said, restating the fact.

"But you can't be here," she retorted somewhat petulantly like a five-year-old not getting their way.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Perhaps, and trust me, this disgusting trick will backfire. But just because I can't be here doesn't mean that you and fuckwit can be. Now I think it's time you left Jillian. I'd wish you well, but I would be lying."

"You hate me that much?" she asked, looking at my bandaged hands but not asking the question.

"You seriously have the gall to ask me that after doing what you did and now serving me with this paperwork?" I responded to her like she was the dumbest person on the planet. At this point, I wasn't sure she wasn't in the running.

She waited not saying anything.

"Jillian, you were my everything. You were my best friend. There was no one else in this world that I trusted more than you. Then in one fell swoop, you rip that away and treat me no better than the gum you scrape off your shoe. You have become a fucking cunt in my eyes. So tell me, oh wise one, at what point through doing this to me and ripping my life away did you think that my love wouldn't turn into instant malice and hatred for you?"

I folded my bandaged hands across my chest. Jillian's eyes went wide at my use of the 'C' word. She had never heard me utter that curse word. But then use it in a direct verbal tirade directly solely at her... For a few moments, she fiddled with her hands and looked up at me.

"I had hoped..." she paused and took a breath. "Gregory, you're right we did have a lot of good years together. But the restraining order is only until the divorce is complete and everything settles down. Mark, Lina, myself and even Troy are hoping that we could one day be friends when things settle down.

I snarled and exploded.

"Friends!" she shrank back as my damaged arms dropped the envelope and moved in an expressive fashion. "You have got to be fucking kidding me. Friends!" I spat. "If any of you were on fire, I would drink a litre of petrol to piss on you and make sure you burn to extra crispy.

"Fucking friends, you are one delusional bitch," I exclaimed again, noting movement behind her. Mark and Lina were moving quickly up the drive, I saw the asshole himself standing back at the curb. It looked like they had gotten out of a large truck on the other side of the street when I exploded at Jillian.

"Oh look, here come our FRIENDS now." I hissed, glaring at them.

"Greg," Mark said coming up behind Jillian, "Settle down mate, you don't need to..."

"Fuck off dickhead," I shot back at him. "We are not mates, friends or even fucking friendly associates anymore. Your betrayal is almost as bad as the slut's, so don't you fucking think you can say anything that will help here."

I glared at the couple that had set Jillian and me up, then actually participated in our destruction.

"Both of your hands are as dipped in blood and as guilty as this whore and the fuckwit over there." I gestured to the moron who had taken my wife but didn't even have the balls to come up the drive and defend her.

"Greg!" Lina said, trying to sound firm.

My glare and ire turned to her.

"Don't you fucking dare, Lina. There is no moral high ground for you to stand on here. You actively helped my wife to cheat on me, both of you did," I said now gesturing to Lina and Mark. "Both of you helped to set up that scene in the club to cause me maximum humiliation."

They stopped and stood; I could see Lina start to open her mouth, I interrupted.

"And don't you dare start giving me true love bullshit. You tried that last time. Don't forget both of you introduced this slut to me and encouraged me to date and marry her. Then both of you betrayed me so casually without a second thought. If this is what you think love is, then burn the fucking world to ashes now because there is no hope for society if either of you is an example."

They looked at me, startled at the spit flying from my face. I stopped, and a light bulb went off.

"Lina, tell me, do you forgive Mark after he gets home smelling like perfume after being at a strip club all night?" I said smiling, my tone losing the anger and gaining a condescending edge.

Lina stopped, eyes going wide, then looking at Mark.

"Baby, that's not true..." Mark tried to say.

I laughed and they all looked at me.

"Well no, it's not. The way Mark likes to tell the story with the boys, it's that only the front room is a strip club. For an extra five hundred, you can get an extra special lap dance in the back room, and condoms are only an extra twenty..."

I watched with satisfaction as Mark began to object, but Lina could sense the truth.

"Or so he tells us during a round of golf." I finished again crossing my hands over my chest again, satisfied at their own pain.

Mark took a step back, and a moment later, he was running down the road, his wife chasing him and screaming at him. I looked over to Troy, the dickwad looking in wonder, then back to Jillian, a self-satisfied smirk on my face.

"Greg," I glared at her as she said my name, "I mean Gregory, you didn't have to do that?" she said.

I sneered and leant forward, "Oh don't worry Jillian," I watched as her ears went back I am sure a tremor of worry went up to her spine as I used her name. "That is only the opening salvo. Mark has many more secrets to tell. And in this tale of woe, Mark and Lina will only receive a portion of my wrath. The rest I reserve for the portrayers of true love..."

I smiled at her, as I could see her physically shiver this time as my words penetrated her selfish mind.

"What... what do you mean," Jillian asked.

"Leave now Jillian," I said, changing the topic, not directly addressing her statement. "Tell Troy to take you. Run away, preferably out of this country with you. Because if you don't neither you nor him will like what's coming."

"Greg, what's wrong with you? Where is the man I love?" she asked not realizing what she said until it was too late.

"He's dead." I replied flatly, "You tore my heart and soul from me, and the remaining hole has given birth to something new, something dark and something that will enjoy what's coming."

With that, she wasn't sure what to say. I took a moment to take a dramatic step backwards and slammed the door shut while giving one of those laughs that the bad guys in movies always give.

I peered out ten minutes later and Jillian, along with Troy and the truck were gone.

I sat down on the floor, my limbs shaking at the confrontation and again broke down. I loved her, but I hated her. I wanted to see her shattered and remorseful, regretting that she had betrayed me. As I sat on the ground crying for what we once had. I still wanted her to come back and beg forgiveness, use every cheating cliché and work her way back into my life.

Of course, I knew it wouldn't happen, and even if it did, I could never accept any affection without a doubt ever again.

The next month was full of the usual things, lawyers, financial disclosures and the who gets what of divorce. At work, the team rallied around me. Colleen helped me to find a psychologist. I meet with him twice a week to begin working through the feelings I had.