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All Comments on 'Abby's Ascension Ch. 01'

by effjoo

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  • 4 Comments
rg27612rg27612over 9 years ago
interesting

Started moving a tad quickly. What happened to the roommate? Did the force that left HER diminish her own body?

Looking forward to more chapters.

LiterKnightLiterKnightover 9 years ago
Interesting premise

It did move a bit quickly after the sex, but it definitely shows promise. A few errors were annoying, but not horrible. Good work. Keep it up.

TruesylverTruesylverover 9 years ago
Nice

Like the story. Looking forward to more chapters.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago

Get an editor. Someone to force you to stop starting each sentence with either a name or a pronoun.

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