All Comments on 'Accidental Hypnosis Turns Good'

Why would she agree to see a hypnotist if she already had plans? And why is he such a loser that he still lives at home?

A lot of inconsistency in the story but overall a good read. I think a language difference made some things confusing. Liked the premise though

so you don't lose what perspective you're telling the story from. There were too many shifts from third person to first person to make the read enjoyable. Either pay more attention to your own work, or get an editor to find these errors and correct them before posting. 3*, and that was a stretch ...

Takes a lot to write your first story. Keep going, I'm a fan.

For a first attempt I think you’re going in a good direction. Some difficulty in your shift from 3rd to first person. Perhaps adding aback story on the sisters could help. Keep going. Thanks

the grammer and sentence structure were just awful. Maybe you can find someone to edit next time.

The story was a bit odd for my liking. He doesn't have a good relationship with his mother. I got that. But as soon as he sees her in a trance his first thought is to fuck her. No build up to it, just pull her dress off and try to fuck her. I understand power corrupts but their was no build up, no reasoning for him to try that immediately. He could have changed her personality and then found he had an attraction to her. Then used this new ability to get what he physically wanted. The aunt I understand, she was cruel to him and he had the hots for her. But even then it was so convenient that she had been hypnotized in the past.

Just my two cents

Keep it going! So many possibilities!

Yes, please do keep it going.

So the MC has a terrible relationship with his mother, but takes her to a hypnotist stage show where she gets hypnotized and his first thought is to fuck her. He also has issues with his aunt, mom's sister. And for some never established bizarre unearthly reason his mom some how hypnotized her own sister in the past. Completely hypnotized her to the point of subjugation, but never took advantage of her.

Also, grammar and sentence structure gets worse the farther into the story you get. It all devolves to robot/Simon-says sex - which is the most boring and uninteresting sex that can possibly be written about.

Liked it very much - please continue!!!

"Casings of soda"???

This is REALLY bad! Obviously English as a second language, but bad all the same.

The story was great, a scenario that I have used many times, but I want to share with you a few things that will make your stories more real. First when you Hypnotize someone you cannot make them do anything that they would not normally do. You can however trick a person into doing what you want by a series of questions about there life. The best area I found is a persons fantasies because in their mind that’s something they want to be a part of. Then you create a scene and substitute you or someone else for key players, and most often those fantasies are sexual. The more you know the better off you are you are at getting them to do what you want. Secondly keywords I have found that keyword seldom last more than there full nite sleep, it will differ for every person. Never more than a day or two at best. I get around this issue simply by reinforcing throughout the entire session that when they wake up they all feel better than it ever felt before and they’ll love that feeling, and the only way to achieve it is through hypnosis. I’ve gotten people to the point where they will beg me to hypnotize them, so they can have that feeling that you gave them at the end of there last session.

The last thing I want to say is I enjoyed your story and please write chapter 2. And one other thing if English is your second language I strongly suggest you get somebody to proofread your work.

Master Ernst

Here the original story... https://mcstories.com/AccidentalHypnosisTurnGood/AccidentalHypnosisTurnGood.html

Either you stole it or you wrote....?

Witch one?