All Comments on 'Accidents, Can They Be Prevented?'

He is out of action for a while and maybe forever. Hmmm, how long does it take a cop to figure out the a guy shot in his balls is fucking a married woman, who is the likely suspect? The wife has possible whiplash and the doctor told her not to have sex, when does a doctor telling someone not to have sex have any effect? She might have made a week! So you fucked a woman in front of her, god what revenge. Now she has evidence of your infidelity, its a wash. Where is the revenge on the wife? Why play games and not just divorce the slut? All you are doing is keeping her around and providing her the lifestyle she wants. You said this guy had brass balls, you were wrong. He has silly putty balls! Not a wimp but definately not a grown man.

I enjoy the screams of outrage from those who think hubby was too harsh. The funny part is it's usually the same people who give their blessing to a cheating whore of a wife and think it only fair that she turn a hubby into a cuckold. There is no degradation or pain deep enough for a hubby to experience, but the least action against the cheating wife is suddenly worth condemnation fit for a hitler. The author did ok...it was a little predictable but all stories are to some degree.......

This is not revenge. Revenge in marriage does not include innocent people. This is a story of two sick people. They deserve each other. This story stopped being about revenge when you had the husband tamper with the brakes on her car. Was there ever a thought of what would happen if she hit someone else? How could you have justified this being revenge if her car had killed someone? An innocent man, woman or child could have been murdered. Yes, murdered. How could you possibly justify having the car run over a child of 2yrs or a pregnant woman? A good story was ruined by such a sick act.

The nourishment goes to the women of course...

And while at it he does not fotgrt to keep the men healthy with a steady diet of protein shakes (cherry flavor of course). No, it could not happen like that in life but that’s why you turned to a story with this warning tag.

A bit of a psychological torment would have added a special flavor (see the classis “The bean counter”), But for such a short piece this husband covered a lot of ground …including something with beans…

Nope Sucks.. Look, you want to do a No wimp story? Then why don't do it right? There is many possibilities of how to screw her up good without this sh*.. F*ng fantasy.. Both seems sick and their marriage can't ever have been real... Cheers Yoron.

a zipper in his dick like this man. But apparently he does. To wit:

<br><br>

"Cherry dropped to her knees, unzipped my cock, and ..."

For the idiot who wrote, "it reads like a trashy TV eposide" should grow some balls and write his own. Fucking wimp!

i didn't realize how many sissyboy were out there trying to act like men.you put your stories out there and the men can see the deal and the boys fall by the side of the road.you write the common sense stories and let the fanasy freaks play sissyboys.

but i like it.

it makes those who cause pain to feel pain. a dr who treats people in pain

<p>I always cringe at these stories where the husband's revenge is the death penalty to someone. He got his feelings hurt...someone must die!</p>

<p>Of course, using violence in a story always brings out the bloodsuckers whose only criteria for voting is the degree of revenge enacted on the cheaters in a Loving Wives story. It's a guaranteed 100 with a cheer from the knuckle-walkers among the Literotica readership.</p>

<p>Call me crazy, but I kinda like character development in a story. I sometimes look for something that writers call a 'plot'. A certain degree of realism might be in order as well, unless the story is a fantasy.</p>

<p>I suspect that in real life wifey would have figured out who shot loverboy. Maybe she hated him enough to tell the cops. Maybe his shotgun was actually registered to him. Maybe an investigation would have shown that the brake fluid had no reason to drain out on its own.</p>

<p>A cop wouldn't have to be Miss Marple or Philip Marlowe to figure out who committed these crimes. Hubby's ass would be in jail if he actually did these things.</p>

<p>What is this desire for blood? Don't you readers/writers have the intelligence to figure out a revenge that doesn't put the husband in jail?</p>

<p>And again I ask, why is infidelity an executable offense? Because it hurts your pride? Crap what a bunch of pussies you guys are. I like stories where the husbands act like men, not like angry little boys.</p>

<p>This story had some promising elements, but most of them were unrealized. Keep at it but shoot for realism, not some teenaged wanker fantasy.

I needed that! The beauty is that he gets away with it! Loved the rock salt. Have you ever thought of the results of using pure sodium on a body?

Awful prose with numerous blunders that cry out for an editor. I suppose if you're into spiteful revenge stories, this thing is okay. As literature, it's about as interesting as a root canal. It has all the raw excitement of WWE Smackdown. I don't understand why the loser husband doesn't just jettison the cheating wife and get on with life? Too complicated, I guess. Ah well. Not much here to entertain.

I have no way to connect to this story, it's just about revenge, and childish at that. the break line could have been truly dangerous, he could have killed her or someone else, making him a murderer. maybe you're the kind of guy that shows no emotions, or maybe his wife was just a convenience, and he's pissed not because he's hurt, but because he's now inconvenienced. they deserved each other.

I hate the stories of men who let their wives run over them. It's time that men starting being men again. Keep up the good work.

Lisa got some of her own treatment thrown back at her .

Pat

Atlanta,Ga

Liked the story for the most part, but the loose brake line could have killed somebody else.

I am afraid he was not quite as revenge seeking as I would be but then I wasnt the writer. She mentioned Bobs name in the bed I think but who knows i was into the story. A shame loverboys nice red car wasnt wasted but then why when you waste loverboy that way. The wife is a stupid bitch, but I think hubby really needs to go back and check the DNA on both kids. Her type has been cheating on him since day one. The way she talked to him in conversation was as disrespect as it comes, actually I would have thrown her out for that. She just wanted a hubby for a cover and to pay her expenses. I really enjoyed the hot coffee touch, will remember it for possible future use.............Lots of people can really piss you off without being married to you.

Good job - keep them coming.

Needs more development and emotion. The story was really hard to get into and there is no one to root for. Both the husband and wife are assholes.

with the sentiments of most of those posting comments. Your story was "just okay" in how it was presented. I really had no feelings for any of your characters. The wife appeared to be pretty much a bitch to the husband, and his revenge on her seemed to be incredibly cold. Their actions toward each other would seem to belie your description of their marriage. You provided no motivation for her cheating. It felt like the beginning of this story was really the middle of another one.

While I do enjoy a well written 'revenge' story, I couldn't get behind this one. Spilling hot coffee seemed pretty juvenile, and fooling with brakes on the wife's car seemed unbelievably stupid. What, if in her having an accident, she had killed someone? Would the death of an innocent party have made this guy feel better?

There is a similarity between the spate of pathetic interracial stories being posted lately and many of these 'revenge' stories. Unfortunately both are being written to

gratify the appetities of the lowest common denominator. Imaginination, ingenuity, and cleverness are so much more satisfying. I know, easy to say but so hard to do.

Yes, there were errors in your submission, and some before me have given excellent suggestions in how you might improve in submitting further stories. You have promise and I hope you'll persevere in sharing future efforts.

Philip

Readers may read whatever they care to read, regardless of disclaimers or warnings! Once a writer posts a story, it is fair game for comment. Most will simply appreciate the effort and vote, if nothing else. Some will offer praise or scorn in a reasonable and non-abusive way. A few will flame the story, the wtiter and the writer's family values and voting record on the basis of a fictional romp.

Yes, readers who comment SHOULD be fair and offer that old elusive constructive criticism, but too many will just flame.

I think it was funny. I guess wifey figured out she was caught, and basically at his mercy until she was well. At that point I would imagine a divorce was in order.

I liked the innovative revenge. Of course this is as far from reality as a Bugs Bunny cartoon, but it doesn't matter.

Let's see some more innovative discovering of the cheating wife---cheating wives, if they read these stories, would never invite their loverboys over to the house. 10 to 1 the husband will show up unexpectedly one day. In fact having illicit sex in your own house should be called Scenario A. So instead of wasting time, the paragraph or so here, just write Scenario A and we the readers will know that the wife is fucking somebody else in the marriage bed. Scenario B occurs when it happens in a motel and the husband happens to be driving by and spots his wife's car. Scenario C occurs in a boss or co-worker's office. Scenario C hasn't been used that much so we could see some elaboration there. If the motel or hotel is interesting, or the cheating wife's peignoir is particularly sexy and must be described, then paint us the picture. Otherwise the writing should be done like painting by numbers, which these scenes usually are. Thus we don't need to have described a very non-erotic thrust and counter-thrust of members, or to view the scene with irate detachment, or clinical precision. Just say Scenario A, Scenario B or Scenario C, and come on down to claim your prize---a cheating wife and a snake in the pubic grass, if it hasn't been shaved and waxed. That snake ought to be hit with a golf club, an iron preferably, and if anybody says "fore", you say "I'll tell you what for." And you've got a story.

Here the revenge was innovative---not the old bank & lawyer routines---which may be true in real life but don't make an interesting story, especially if you've read enough of these tales about tails.

playingcardcompany

i liked the story line. hate reading of the wimpy husbands who except infidelity rather than attack a family destroyer head on. keep it up!

I have no problem with you day dreaming about your infantile revenge fantasy. However, your writing needs work.

One technical error, our hero identified Cheryl's lover as 'Bob' before his PI checked the license plate and reported the address.

Re-read your story and avoid over-using phrases. 'Like no tommorrow' should be used sparingly if at all.

Thanks for writing.

First read and read some more, so you can see how stories are developed and avoid basic pitfalls like passive writing, avoid cliches and become a descriptive writer. We would also appreciate if you can get a dictionary, a writing style tome, then an editor before you submit again.

Another excellent "non-wimp husband" story! Once again, take note -Ohio & JPB. Thanks again, author.

Note to readers: For those of you that didn't like it, you were warned not to read it. But you couldn't control yourself, could you? You just had to read.

I bet you can't control yourself and read all those wimp husband stories too?

is great but full of typos and grammar problems.

Unbelievable too. At that close range, it would not have made any difference if the 12 gauge had been loaded with salt, buckshot, or cream of wheat. He would have died. Period. Bled out like a cut pig.

Nice thought though.

Get a volunteer editor and keep writing. I like your thought process.

Read some Just Plain Bob stories and see some great examples of husband payback. Maybe .22 caliber birdshot in next shooting of lover's balls.

well Maybe Bob's cock Unzips as well... ??

LOL!!!

The PLOT is very good but there are some problems. If he wnated to find out how long this has been going on.... why doesnt he?

why take the pictures? When are they to be used....?

if he wants divorce on the grounds of adultery using a escort service is done... and few escorts would ever want to get involved with something like that...

What happens when the wife of 25 years finds out that he knows all about her and Bob?

Does Bob's cock ever work properly again? Still have his balls? Well, I guess salt does preserve things.

He'd have been better off just taking Cherry out after she showed up. I can't quite imagine the wife sticking around to watch him screwing Cherry without kicking him in the balls.

Beg for an editor!!!!

This has to be the worst beginning sentence I have seen here lately: "It was a cold windy Saturday with overcast." Dull. featureless. Then you go on with: "I stood along the pier watching the surf. I really didn't feel like fishing. I just felt like staring into the horizon wondering where my life was going."

The sentences are almost all equal in rhythm. bland and they don't carry any action just narrative. BORING! And don't tell, SHOW.

BTW, are you looking the surf or the horizon? Surf is where the waves break, not the horizon. The horizon is wayy the hell out there unless you are watching a tsunami come in, of course.

How about this? "I was alone on the pier which was unusual for a Saturday morning. The wind picked up causing the surf to break hard against the pilings and stung my eyes. I pulled my jacket closer to me with my free hand. My gazed shifted from the useless rod in my left hand and across the surf to the stark horizon. The sky was a grey as my mood." Not my best but you can already SEE that it is Saturday, cold, windy, overcast, I am not really interested in fishing and moody. Shown, not told.

AND THIS? "What a pain I the ass...."? "But when I got their..." These are careless mistakes.

Keep writing, just do yourself a favor and get a good editor and you will see how much better this can be.

Regards,

C

super action and plot. really kicks ass. don't stop now. take it farther

authors botch it like this:

"Cherry dropped to her knees, unzipped my cock"

Say what? His cock zips on and off? Now that's a novel fantasy, a dick you can put on and take off. Not big enough? Borrow a bigger one and put it on! Too big? Use a smaller one. Your sweetie wants a black cock to play with? No problem-o!

Then there's this gem of authorship: "If I barged in and disrupted them, I would never know the extent of her infidelity." The author offers this as one of the husband's motivations but then never explores this aspect of the story. Why not?

Here's a cliche that I absolutely detest: "I made a conscious decision that I would no longer have sex with my Lisa." Let me say it this way: if you're making unconscious decisions about your life, you have a serious problem. This sad example of poor writing would be comic if it weren't so tragic.

The story has little to no plot to it and there's no exploration of the characters to show us why they do what they do. Evidently, the author expects us to know ahead of time how things will turn out so he doesn't bother with any of the things that make literature interesting. I suppose his intent is to offer a "feel good" story for the "manly men" of the world, at least that's what his commentary suggests.

One thing about the story does puzzle me. If the husband thought he would use adultery as the basis for the divorce, his use of the escort service to humiliate his wife was exceedingly stupid. Now both spouses are cheaters and the best he can hope for is irreconcilable differences. My impression is that the author is really making fun of you for feeling gratified that the husband got his revenge. He wants you to cheer for the dumbass and is secretly chuckling when you do. It's a nasty trick and not one that I like very much.

Overall, the writing is blase and there're more than a few grammatical oopsies. Excellent fiction it is not so this 1's for you.

Like the other reviewer I missed the emotional involvement . Really liked the hot coffee in the wife's lap, though

i read these stories for the emotion, hurt, passion, anger - whatever. In this case, his revenge seems more like a reaction rather than he was really hurt or even angry. Anyway i'm impressed that you got up an wrote a story, more than most of us do. Keep it up and good luck.

Reasonable grammar. Good story action. And About time.

This probably pisses off those who think husbands should spend their time groveling at the feet of their wives for any crumbs that might fall.

One logical thing. At that range deballing a man probably would kill him.