by Harddaysknight
Great story from a master story teller. I love how accurately your use of punctuation is. I learn from it. The only advice I humbly and respectively offer you in this department is that you tend to overuse your exclamation marks. 5 Stars.
makes we wonder about that sleaze bag neighbor and not to leave him near my wife at all ever again.
second time reading it for me . just as good this time even though i knew what was happening . probably closer to reality than we might think too . advances in medication and therapy have come a long way .
Sort of knew it was not a TV simulated story but knew there was a twist Took me a while to work it out BUT in the end I loved it (jaybee186)
Excellent read — this is my third time through this story. Won’t be the last. :)
An interesting story of a freaky self-help method for mid-life crisis, depression, etc... , certainly far better than slipping into an affair.
Imaginative and entertaining.
Not quite sure how it fits in the LW category though.
Really well written story. The flow was well thought out or outlined. What a great take on a hypnosis event. First read of the writer and will explore other works. BTRH...
I really liked the concept, though it was pretty obvious early on, once i ruled out some of the more weird scenarios i've come to expect from literotica/lw writers.
I also liked that no actual cheating went on.
Overall, i think the story wasn't particularly well executed and you could have done a whole lot more with it, but i also understand that literotica isn't the place where novels are written, which is a shame.
Narrator unreliable because hypnotized… ingenious!
This redemption story has it all: lows, highs, humor, love.
One of HDK’s best and that’s saying a lot!
I'm thinking "bullshit"! Sue the shrink, divorce the bitch, leave her and the slobs, disappear and start over without the weight around his neck. This Hallmark ending was laughably bad.
I love the way you made me feel when I tripped to the fact that he was the only one hypnotized. This story was a dive in a beautiful pool of suspended reality.
Just a great story that does not get old. HDK knows how to write the good ones.
Let’s see... the “hero” of your story repeatedly mauls the breasts of a woman he believes is a stranger; he physically assaults a teenaged boy, he kicks in a teenaged girl’s door, ensuring that she would have no privacy (and probably putting her in fear of assault and rape). He does all this because he thinks he’s on T.V. (huh?).
All the “bad guy” does is kiss a woman against her will, and then defend himself when the “hero” assaults him. [Assaulting people is apparently the “hero’s” response to pretty much any stimulus.]
The excuse for all this turns out to be hypnosis, performed by a psychiatrist in a really remarkable violation of the Medical Code of Ethics, and which could cause him to (deservedly) lose his license.
I’m not sure where you meant to go with this, but I’m damned sure you didn’t get there.
This guy is an arrogant ass. Yeah, yeah, he was hypnotized so he’d change but no mental health professional would allow this kind of behaviour, for the sake of his family if not his own.
He’s constantly assaulting a woman he doesn’t or barely knows, he risks injuring a teen, he’s ridiculously judgmental about some hair colouring, he’s cruel to a couple kids who can’t help how they were raised, and is constantly playing up to an audience.
There’s nothing likeable about him or believable about the ending.
The Truman show they should of made brilliant story honestly loved it was wishing was a 40+ Chapter series 5* do more
Yeah , baby you can drive my car , I think you are already a Starr ! Just wanted you to know , that while you were driving my car , your story was floating my boat ! Love your Beatle themes ! Makes me wanna hold your palm pilot ! How could I read from another when I saw your story submitted here ?
Just had to suspend believability concerning the hypnotherapy nonsense. Otherwise, I loved it. Would have liked to hear of Chuck's revenge ag against the ex boxer asshole.
Best story I've read in a while. I didn't know what was going on for a while, but it was great wandering around.
I must have read this some time ago. As I read I started remembering more and more, but wasn't sure of the ending. The only thing I was sure of, was that it was a good story and well worth the five stars I just gave it. - Must have read it before in my 'Anonymouse' days.
Loved it.
I didn't start out enjoying it much but as I read more I could see the direction it was headed. I first thought it was a brain injury type brain fart. The head shrink is clever and hypnosis worked just as good. Very interesting.
Wrapped too much together and the mixture didn't quite come out unless you meant it as a growing lesson
I agree with Buck Owens, this is a very good story everything but the Doctor and hypnosis.
You had better believe we did and enjoyed it all the way to the very end. Signed: BTW
Yes, we all did, as we are not blithering neanderthals like you
Another fine story from your fertile brain. Requires a little "suspension of disbelief," but makes for a great story.
Wish I'd given it another star that I did first time thru! (I was a tougher scorer back then.)
Pretty awesome story, I enjoyed it thoroughly.
Too bad Fargo never got his butt kicked, I feel sorry for his wife.
This is a Excellent and Fantastic story you have written. No it wasn’t loaded with lots of Erotic Sex but it had the Drama of what a male would be feeling in an “Altered State of Mind”. The turn around the he made was very interesting. Also the feelings and emotions that he felt in not wanting to take advantage of “The Other Wife” shows his love and strength for his marriage. Thank You!
It’s been many years since you posted this story HDK, but I read it for the first time yesterday. After reading another story, it came up as a suggestion as a similar story. Quite entertaining, enough twists and turns to keep it interesting (especially the one at the end that explained what had been going on). Still quite relevant to what many of us go through every day. We get so involved in our “day to day” that we miss out on the rest of our life around us. Good work HDK, thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.
but very well developed. 5stars. It would have been nice to see Chuck physically give it to Steve Fargo. A pleasure to see the development of the kids.
Totally unbelievable but what a fun read!
The name, as a Beatles song (well, Buck Owens really)
works, in a funny kind of way.
Interesting and positive.
Top ratings from me.
This should give us hope that we can make positive changes in our lives at anytime.
You took a story that is not often done and did it well. You held my attention, gave it suspense and humor. Thanks for the smiles.
Though the end was a little too “easy” or perhaps “simple” is a better word. Wake up. Watch DVD. Everything fine. Boom. Boom. Boom. Still, the plotline, though obviously (and I assume intentionally) borrowed from “The Truman Show” is original (I thnk) for this genre.
Not sure it belongs in LW. Might be better fit in “Mind Control”.
A terrific story! A '5', only because that's their limit, not mine. Engrossing. The best on site.
I enjoyed this story much more than the other things of yours that I read. You did a very good job on it. Thanks.
jtaylor
This story had me wondering just what was happening! Of course, it was apparent that someone was under a spell. The neighborhood parties were really strange with everyone acting normal! This has been one of the finest stories I have read here, so thank you very much! Wonderful!
Great story. It never pissed me off and left me feeling great . Thank you
Wow, you got me. Totally didn't see the ending coming like it did. Totally loved the entire story concept idea and how you told it. Thanks for sharing it. BK
I had part of it figured out about halfway through, but the shrink was a surprise of course. I laughed at many parts, the insults and sarcasm were clever, even hilarious. It didn't bother me too much that he got knocked down by butthead Fargo; his job, as the husband, was to fight for his wife. He did. Maybe not very well, but he did fight for her.
It didn't surprise me to see that winning the fight was NOT what she valued most - she loved the fact that he fought for her. Also remember that the fight achieved what he wanted; Fargo stormed off unsatisfied and without his wife. I think Fargo also realized that, if he still wanted Bonnie, he would have to fight Chuck again.
There's nothing wrong with getting knocked down - what's important is that when she needed him - he stood up.
Loved the story, very refreshing to see a different kind of story that ends happily. Thanks!
WOW! Amazing and satisfying story!!
At first I was not into it but started figuring it out about a third through.
Enjoyed it thoroughly. Only improvement would be if he was able to handle Steve a little better later but still very satisfying and loved how he stood up to Steve even if he couldn't beat him in a fight!
Truly good story!!!
Didn't see this ending coming.
Lovely story and I thought there had to be twist coming somewhere.
Everything made sense right at the end, just as it should.
Well done ...... a really good read.
Congrats. Well done. Four out of five. A marvelous work of imagination. I a really haven't read anything like this on this site before. I took a long time before I realized not everything was as it seems. That means either I am an idiot or you are a good writer. I chose to believe the second. Cheers. Steve
Very good story and a refreshing reading...4*...Thank you
...my two favorite stories this author has written. Thanks for the great reads!
Really creative hook and plot.
Needs a sequel highlighting Mr. Fargo. :o)
my favorite of yours. Very original. Well written. Happy ending. What more could you ask for? Five stars.
The moral of the story is....treat your family as if someone is always watching? Sounds good to me. Of course, as fast as we are losing our civil rights it won't be long before the government has camera's in all our homes, anyway. They'll just say it's for our own protection and safety. Plus we'll get a break on our health and home insurance. I've read all your stories and loved them all. Then I wait a few years and read them again and still get a chuckle out of them. A true testament of an excellent author and all his works. Thank you
its always good to have A...B....C or even more if needed, TK U MLJ LV NV
But I'm still not sure what happened. You have the number of the hypno doctor?
great concept and execution. I just read a comment disregarding the story. you need to be treated for ADHD so you could finish reading it instead of stopping in the middle and see how good it is.
HDK, I truly wish you would write more. This was and still is a fine story with just the right touch.