by YKN4949
I couldn't hold my breath any longer...
It was everything I thought it would be... I'll get back to you after I get caught back up .. hopefully... TODAY.
Thank you,
SliperyRox
Holy fucking hell!!! This was not everything I'd hoped this story would be, IT'S MORE!!! The build-up kept me coming back for more & the climax, the crescendo that is this last part was just right! I was anticipating the interaction between the Abood sisters just as much as Lizze/Ellie. This is by far the best story I've ever read on this site. Seriously. And I've been reading for many years now!!!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!! You & your work are just indescribable for me!!! Just know I love your work & I love you!
I would actually enjoy a sequel that contained some bisexual incest, involving a father and/or a brother of one of the sorority sisters, maybe even the mom as well. The Abood sisters don't have to be main characters in the story line either, this line could follow Heather, Carrie, Lori or one of the other more minor characters in this story.
I had been coming back every day to see what would happen when the two of them eventually got together. I may be in the minority here, but I have to say I was disappointed somewhat with Lilly's spit fetish. Everyone has fetishes, which is great, but that one for me took up so much of the story and really wasn't my cup of tea. I couldn't get past it. Otherwise the series was one of the better ones I've read in a while. It would be kind of interesting to see what happens when the girls return home for winter/summer break...
I would love to read more stories set in this narrative. Not necessarily between the Abood sisters together, but perhaps separately.
For instance, I would love to see a prequel between Heather and Lily, possibly their junior year, to show what drove them apart. Whether Heather had sex with some dude, and Lily while not being 'out' felt betrayed. Rather than talking about it and admitting her feelings let jealousy tear them apart.
Also, I would love a culmination between Lori and Ellie. Especially now that Ellie has no angst built up with Lily and realizes why she goes as far as she does. It would also be a nice addition to show Ellie explore her sexuality more and (hopefully) realize she's bisexual leaning towards heterosexual but with no guy available is willing to hook up with a chick--just so both sisters have similarities but also a lot of differences.
I wasn't quite into the spit-swapping so I did skip quite a bit, but managed to get back into it with the double-sided dildo and finish. Wonderful story, wonderful writing. Looking forward to reading more from you.
I am thankful to you for writing it. But I am still waiting for more chapters on "never have I ever" which was my favorite story you have wrote to date. I love your work please comtinue to write with your wonderful imagination.
As an author, you are too good to ignore the grammar and spelling errors. Some readers don't care but your more educated followers are bothered by such errors and it interrupts the flow of the story. Also, every fetish has its fans, but I must agree with another reader; the spit fetish is just too "out there" and it definitely detracted from what was otherwise a very hot story.
A wonderful and incredibly arousing story!
I loved the slower build-up. I am not a fan of watersports and spit fetish, but even those parts were so passionately written (i.e. the characters were so passionate about doing it) that I was constantly hot!
The incest itself was both hot and also touching, and overall, the sex in your stories is creative and breathtakingly hot! Definitely one of the most delightful stories in many years that i have been a literotica reader!
i do not remember how or if i commented each part but 5 stars
across the board... well done
This story was amazing! It was like the new hit book and I couldn't wait for the next one to be released! Keep up the work loved it!
This was a great story from start to finish. I really enjoyed it and thank you for taking the time to write and share this.
Your storytelling rates a 5. And I almost gave a 5 to Part 4. But in the end, I can't give you more than a 4. If you're going to give your submissions only one edit, then proofread it word by word, sentence by sentence, and paragraph by paragraph. You would benefit from a careful editor. Until then, 4 is the best I can do.
Anonymous criticising your proofing was right: Utterly brilliant story, but with some jarring words - real words, but complete wrong word choice. Some are typos: writing 'glass' instead of 'class', but others are just odd: synch, as in synchronise, when from context you mean cinch. It breaks immersion in the story if people need to try and guess the word you mean.
That being said, I still gave the story 5 stars as I simply enjoyed it too much for the word oddities to put me off.
Great story, really enjoyed the whole thing and felt like I understood what was going on in the sistersu minds, great job. 5
I enjoyed reading your story.
It was well paced and did not rush, as many authors have a tendency to do. Like foreplay, a story needs to slowly unfold thus making for a more colorful ending.
That was amazing. I highly recommend you attempt to keep doing longer stories with good build up and storytelling. I hope the next one isn't so "sex everywhere", because while I like this kind, I'd rather not have every book be like that. Lots of story in between the action is fun too.
And finally I hope you never revisit the Aboods. I feel like only the great stories have an ending. Milking it for more content just ruins the entire thing to me.
I can't wait for your next story either way, as a long time fan.
I think the ending was good so don't add more to this specific story, but choose a secondary charecter like heather or lory and show their past or present, but keep it juicy.😜
Please continue writing...What about old sorority members who are now teachers or dean of the college? make some slaves of the actual sorority sisters?
Out of this world! There should be a Nobel for these outstanding erotic writers...
If you are not a sadist you must give as a new chance to read you
It only looked that it was to much for you to introduce a scat scene instead of the spitting one, which looked rather strange in the whole context...
Thanks for the great moments we get!
Absolutely incredible. One of the best stories I've read. Love the characters; you out so much personality into them. The tension between the sisters was so real. Amazing job
I just wanted to say that this was a fantastic story. I look forward to your future writing and hope you continue with at least some of these characters. Also please continue to do longer stories as I think you do very well with the buildup.
I have read all the story and now I can say it was awesome... except the very ending. The last episode with two sisters was good, but very faint in comparison with when both of them had their reunion in big sister's room. I really hope the author still can rewrite last episodes, to make it explode in full force. But even if it can't be done, this text still is amazing.
Throughly enjoyed your story. I normally don't read lesbian tales, but you caught me from the very start.
This was a very well written story. It showed the time and patience you put into it to be so thorough.
One of the best stories on this site. I love the characters and the entire sorority fantasy. If you wanted to continue, you could follow Lizzie and friends through succeeding pledge weeks like the Harry Potter novels.
You're right about needing some editing but it's a minor distraction.
Thanks
So beautifully written.. the best scene for me are the speech confessions of course. Really touching <3
I love the way you created the drama, and how you help the girls deal with their aggression and find true love again. 😘 😊
I can both understand why you won't be returning to the sisters, whilst being disappointed at the same time.
Absolutely loved the build up,the story and the girls.
Have already favourited your work and will continue to hope that you will return to the story at some point in the future.
You are great with what you do and I hope one day we do get a sequel. However next time remember to double check it after doing a spell and grammer check or get and editor if you can afford it as spell check can't fix things like her instead of he.
Through the sexiest sorority in history--- so hope you do a sequel.
My first ever comment and I just have to say this is a fantastic story - well written, great characters and fantastic sex - thank you.
As well written and thought out as any story I have read on Literotica, or other sites. I understand that there are folks who will voluntarily edit stories on Literotica-perhaps you could use their services. JUST SAYING.
One of the best stories I've honestly ever read. Very beautiful and amazingly sexy.
I am quite disappointed you won't be returning to this series though.
I enjoy your character-development, and the occasional unpredictability you insert. Very creative. Thank you xxx
I loved the long length and the slow build-up! The relationship between Lily and Ellie was resolved, as was Lily's and Heather's. Very hot!
Loved it all. The slow build and then the explosion. Lust, extreme sex, and a shot of love added in. Loved the story in it's entirety
I really enjoy your writing. I write fiction novels. A great self-editing tip is to read the scenes out loud because the mind can "see" things incorrectly but you will "hear" the errors or they just won't match. For example, while I read your scenes out loud (when I'm tired I read out loud to focus) I noticed words that were correctly spelled but incorrect--but my mind expected the correct words but my ears helped me to realize they didn't match up (what I had in my mind vs what you had on the page). The same thing occurs for me in my own writing. Another tip is storyfix.com and the book story engineering.
You can't stop writing about the "Abood" sisters. It's just the start of the school year. It was only Pledge week, what about Homecumming( spelling intentional), campus parties, Halloween, holiday break, spring break. I need more...please.
Thank you
When I first read this story I was expecting that secretions might come out of my genitalia,I was not expecting secretions to be coming out of my eyes as well.
Great story very very well written, made me hard and horny but also smile, laugh and cry, brilliant!
I just wish there was a bit > < more assplay. I LUUUUUURRVE LEZ ANAL!
Loved the way you slowly developed the story and the step by step description of the sex acts. Very well written and once again I rated my rare 5 for this story also. You have talent which you have been showing in the variety of your stories. Excellent end.
Hi. I don't know if there is a way to connect with you quicker. I hope you are on twitter or any other social media platform where we can follow you. This is the best story I have read in a long time... The way you build the story and the construct of the relationship of both the sisters was amazing. The best I have read in a long time. It felt all so natural. There was butterflies in my stomach. I could feel the tension. And the ending was amazing and so sweet. A great ending. This is indeed the best story I have read. You and Jasmine walker are officially my favorite authors. I will also send you this feedback in the email as well.
I’m not one to comment on stories very often, but I must say that your story was very intriguing from start to finish. I felt as the reader that you elevated the genres that you’re listed under. You are truly a gifted writer. Consider me a fan. Thank you for sharing your talent.
Chapter four holds a good balance of conclusion to the characters story and a lot of sex!
I found this story to be an easy and enjoyable read. Plus, I fell in love with Lori.
Keep on writing
Great storyline, beautifully build and written. Loved it from the first few lines. Wow
I regret that I can give but five stars for this amazing story. I laughed, I cried, I fell down. It changed my life. Thank you.
Just Wow! Easily the best story I’ve read on Lit - and that’s 100s of stories over 10+ years. Anyone critical of your editing skills should shut up and try writing themselves. Not easy to do what you’ve done here. Thank you for the gift you give to all of us readers.
Very nice work. Again you do so much with your use of language in the detailed descriptions of all aspects of your stories. I got somewhat sidetracked at the details in the video descriptions. I was a bit more interested in how the video of Ellie and Lori moved and how Ellie's and Lily's relationship would evolve. Just very nice work!
Lesbo story of siblings that is just plain gross.............. And no I didn't and won't read the story. Not worthy of my time..........
Wow just wowwwww and I must say thank you for your writing skills and story telling skill set. I really loved it so thank you x thx for sharing and writing so well. Thoroughly enjoyed it and wish I went to an American university sorority like this too haha thx once again beautifully written so thank you again xx
Very over the top but also pretty damn awesome. Good storytelling and hot scenes, even though I find some of the kinks gross (piss, rimming).
God I loved this! It was sooo hot and you really did what you set out to. It had it's own internal logic and emotional content that allowed for suspension of disbelief which mad it so much better.
I usually don't comment. I usually just hit the star number and go on about my day. After every chapter you asked for a comment on your work. I feel like I should honor that since I read every word. I must say that the anal part of me was put off a bit by the grammatical errors. However, the errors are no match for the creativity of this story. I really liked it. I appreciate the work you put into this story. It really seemed like I was a 'fly on the wall' in a secret society. I enjoyed every chapter. I am grateful for having spent my valuable time on this side of the dirt reading this work. So, I thank you and will be reading more of your stories hoping that they approach the fun and creativity of this one. Peace.
Just finished reading this entire story. What a well written piece of erotic literature. Incredibly hot sex scenes and it had characters that you were rooting for and hoped they all got what they wanted in the end. And I'm glad that there wasn't a huge twist in here where Lily and Ellie/Lizzy's relationship really did crumble part for weeks, months, years before they reconciled together. Hopefully one day, while I feel it's unlikely, you come back to writing more about Ellie, Lizzy and the entire sorority.
A. Complete story with plenty of action. I thought there might be a couple other things sororities do but that was fine.
I for one am sorry to hear that there are no more stories about the Abood sisters. I sure enjoyed reading abut Pledge Week, but there must be a Homecoming coming up, with horny MILFs? And maybe a winter festival, or skiing at Vale? Whatever, thanks for the story. It is one of Literotica's best.
That was a hell of a story and I would love to here more about Elle and Lori’s story.This is my first comment and don’t worry about the errors I was so much into the story I really didn’t notice.
That whole story was hot as fuck. I read from beginning to end, and well ... Awesome