"Actually"

I didn't know what to do now that the moment was here, and obviously she didn't either. I looked at her body at my cock shamefully pulsed once. She got awkward and looked away. It felt weird now so I moved my hands away from her.

"Sooo..." I said, breaking the silence. "You certainly made sure to get a good look." She covered her eyes in shame and giggled. "I understand. It's impressive."

"Shut up!" she said, giving me a playful shove on the chest and accidentally glancing at my package again. "I'm glad it's over with." She got out of the car and slid into the front seat to deal with the camera. I could feel her gaze on me as I slipped my dick back into my jeans.

"Oh no," she said.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm so stupid."

"What???"

"I forgot to hit record..."

I started to laugh. After a few seconds, she joined in too. "Well, let's do it again," I said.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, yeah. Let's do it." I got out of the car and back into position. Tasha pressed record and met me there.

"Ready?" she said.

I looked around. "Just gotta make sure nobody's around. A lot of people would like to get a glimpse of this." She laughed. "Did you hit record this time?" She rolled her eyes. "Oh, and, uh, last time it was kind of awkward at the end there... What should I be doing then?"

"I mean," she said, "we should kind of continue what we're doing before. Like, suggesting that a sexual... activity is about to occur."

"Right. Okay. Ready."

"Action."

And we're back in it with all of our pent-up passion as we kiss and grab our way into the car. I noticed that our bottom halves were grinding against each other softly in the back seat. Again she pulled off my jeans, but with more confidence. We went back to kissing and she grabbed my bare hip. My penis was fully hard and I couldn't keep my pelvis from pulsing up and down slightly.

Tasha leaned her weight forward onto me, gradually pushing me back into a half-lying position. She basically straddled me on her knees, just a couple inches short of my package. If the kiss wasn't real before, it became real. Definitely real. This was true passion, and our blood was pumping.

She spread her legs, causing her dress to ride up a couple inches. She planted her inner thighs on my legs, skin on skin. She laid down on top of me and our bodies were grinding in rhythm.

She sat up, still straddling me. Tasha looked down at my dick with lust in her eyes. I was ready. She put her hands on my chest. In a strange sequence of movements, she leaned forward, then arched her back and leaned back, then panic flashed over her eyes, and she slid her leg onto the floor of the car and pushed herself off me and backed herself to the door.

We were both breathing heavy. "That wa-" she managed between breaths. "Cut... Good. Good take..." Then she clumsily grabbed the door handle and hurried out of the car, leaving me lying there, sweating, breathing, naked, and erect. I saw her through the car window. She was standing there, facing away. I knew that we had shared that experience. I wished so deeply that she hadn't stopped.

She opened the front door and quickly snatched the camera. I slowly pulled my jeans back up, in a daze. Her seats were all wet with our sweat. I couldn't zip my pants because I was still hard. I glanced out the window at Tasha again and it only caused another surge of arousal. I got out of the car, holding my erection for modesty, and slipped back inside the warehouse, where I went behind the sheet where we had been changing.

I thought about that look of panic that came over Tasha's face when I thought we were about to make love. I don't know what it meant, but my erection was fading because of it. Eventually, I got all my clothes on.

I could tell Tasha felt awkward and didn't want to talk. We stowed all the equipment in her car without saying more than a few words.

"I'll drive you home," she said as we packed the last light.

"Thanks. 'Preciate it." I got in the passenger side and she got in the driver side and we set off for my house, deadly silent.

"... You think that went well?" I said after a few minutes.

"Um, yeah. Good footage. Got pretty much everything I needed. Yeah."

"I bet it's gonna be big."

"Yeah... I hope so..." she said. And I couldn't really think of anything else to say until she finally dropped me off.

**********************

I didn't see Tasha for a week after, but she was the only thing on my mind. I texted her once to ask how the editing was going. She said it's going fine. I told her I wanted to be the first to see it.

**********************

I had this dream about her, actually. It's always a little weird to dream about the people you know. But it makes sense because Tasha was on my mind.

Anyway, in the dream I was lying in bed. And then I looked around and I gradually realized that I was in Tasha's bed in Tasha's bedroom. Then she walked passed the doorway naked. And in this dream somehow I knew that we were dating each other, and that's why I was in her bed.

I got out of the bed and followed after her. When I caught up, she was getting into the shower, and I grabbed her bare ass. She turned around and slapped my hand and I thought it was a playful slap but then I looked at her and she looked really angry. Then I slipped and hit my head on the ground and I was just writhing with pain.

**********************

Ding...

I woke up partially.

Ding... Ding...

Notifications on my phone. I grabbed my phone and try to read them but only saw blurs. I blinked hard a few times and stared down my screen until I could read it.

From Tasha.

"just finished the final cut"------------------------

"you wanted to be the first to see right?"--------------

"you free?"-----------------------------------

I looked at the time. 6:10 AM.

---------------------"u had to tex tme so early???"

"well you're up apparently..."----------------------

"do you want to see it or not?"--------------------

--------------------------"yea ill be there soon"

"kk"---------------------------------------

I was getting ready, nervous to see Tasha again. I remembered my dream and felt a pang of guilt. Then I remembered the music video shoot and felt another pang.

The weird thing is I couldn't pinpoint what I had done wrong. I wasn't sure Tasha felt the same way, but she had been so quiet to me since we shot the music video...

**********************

I took the bus to Tasha's neighborhood and walked to her building. I was so nervous that I just stood on the sidewalk, debating whether to actually go in. I had to, of course, so I did.

I go upstairs and knock on her door. The door opens and there's her face. Another pang of guilt.

"Hey..." she said, with a half smile on her face that I couldn't identify as genuine or just politce.

"Hey, Ash. Long time, no see."

She looked down. I felt like I shouldn't have said that.

"Yeah," she said. "Wanna see the video?"

"Yeah!" I closed the door behind me and followed Tasha to her room. She was wearing her sweatpants and a t-shirt.

I took off my backpack as she sat down at her computer and got the video queued up. "Do you have work later?"

"Not till noon." I work at a grocery store. Good thing I got a degree, am I right?

"Here we go. Take a seat." I reluctantly sat on the edge of her bed, remembering my dream. She played the video.

The song sounded just as good as I remembered. The video was shots of her in the different settings and outfits. It looked really professional.

"You're so talented," I said.

"Thanks." She smiled.

There were a couple of the shots with me in it to. We both looked pretty good. Then finally the shot of the two of us entering the car. I got a lump in my throat. On screen, she unbuttoned my pants, but then it cut away. I sat through the rest of the video but my dick never made an appearance.

"That was good... Really good," I said, distracted.

Tasha was biting her lip, wanting to tell me something. I waited until she spit it out. "I know you're probably wondering why..."

"I'm not offended that my dick isn't in it."

She covered her face and laughed. "Okay, good."

"I understand. You just wanted an excuse to see it for yourself," I teased, unsure if it would go over well.

"No. No! I was gonna show it but it was too R-rated."

"It was your idea. How could-? Was I supposed to have a G-rated penis?" We both laughed. I felt all the anxiety of the past week drain away.

"It would have been fine but you had to... go get all... hard..."

I blushed. "I can't control it. That was your fault."

"How was that m-?!" Her jaw dropped and she slapped my arm. But unlike in my dream, she was smiling.

I laid back on the bed and covered my face with my hands. "I'm embarrassed now," I said, truthfully.

Tasha laid down next to me. She spoke softly. "Don't be embarrassed. It was- We were caught up in the moment of the thing, ya know?"

"... Did my dick look good on camera?"

She giggled. "It looked fine."

"Big?"

"... Yeah. I guess." She let out another laugh.

I turned to her. "Sounds like you looked at it a lot."

She covered her face and turned away from me, embarrassed and laughing. "Shut up! Shut up!"

"Well, did you?" I prodded.

"... No..." she said, but we both laughed because it sounded like a lie. There was a long pause. She turned back to me and we were face to face. She was beautiful. "I've..." she said. "I've kind of been wanting to apologize. I shouldn't have asked you to do that stuff for the video. I thought it would be a good idea but I've just been worrying all week about it... Like, I hope I didn't put you in too much of an uncomfortable position and... I'm sorry."

I said, "You don't have to apologize... I've been worried all week too."

"Why?"

"... Well, we got so intimate when we were shooting the video... And it felt like, I don't know. It felt like it might go even further... But then you looked scared... And I felt like I did something wrong..."

"You didn't do anything wrong... I felt what you were feeling too..." She stared at my chest. "We've just been friends for so long... I didn't know if it was the right decision. And I remembered that I had put you in that position. I didn't want you to think that I was... using you for sex or something."

"You shouldn't have worried about anything," I said. Our hands met and grabbed each other. We gazed into each other's eyes. We felt safe.

It was obvious that we both wanted each other, but neither of us wanted to say it out loud. We communicated with our eyes as we stared at each other for ages. We were hyperaware of each other's breathing and our bodies and our skin and our closeness. Someone had to say it.

I opened my mouth. "If you ever want to use me for sex, just let me know." She smiled with the Sun's warmth.

"Hmm..." She bit her lower lip. "How about right now?"

I couldn't fight my stupid smile. "Alright."

We leaned closer and drew ourselves into a kiss. If our last kiss was real, this was realer than real. This was the first real thing I had ever experienced. Our hands explored each other's bodies. Tasha was a masterpiece. So soft, so firm, so her.

The heat grew. Our bodies became intertwined. We came to life, tumbling and laughing with passion.

Before long she was stripping me like she had done twice before. I started doing the same to her. When she pulled my boxers off she immediately grabbed my cock like I know she wanted to do before. Still in sweatpants, she pushed her hips onto my crotch gyrated against me. I helped her sweatpants off and she was quick to slip off her panties.

I reached around her and pressed my fingers onto her ass cheeks like I'd longed to do for years. Perfect. We were inches from each other and longing to enter, but it was like an invisible magnetic field held us apart. We both felt the gravity of all our years of friendship.

We fought against the magnetic field towards each other, and when we finally met in the middle, it vanished. Inside her was a feeling of pure pleasure. We slid in and out, our mouths agape, breathing. We were both shining with sweat.

She pushed me onto my back and straddled me. I locked my hand onto the side of her ass to help guide her on and off of me. Her hips swiveled up and down with such beauty like it was a dance.

Her bra was still on. I reached my hand around to take it off her but she just did it herself. She leaned down so we could kiss between pumps. It was like we had done this with each other a million times before. But that's not to say it was lacking in freshness or passion. It was like we had always been in love.

When we kissed our slippery chests fit into each other perfectly. I wanted it to go on for eternity but I could feel I was close to orgasm. I slowed my pace slightly and tried to focus on making myself last. Then Ash started to moan with each thrust and threw her head back and clutched the sheets around her. I released inside of her and she trembled and grabbed my sides in ecstasy, continuing to ride me. I kept releasing, and she kept taking.

We slowed to a stop as she leaned down to kiss me more. My whole body was tingling. My dick slipped out and she just laid herself down on top of me and we held each other. We smiled in each other's eyes.

"Why didn't we do this years ago?" she said.

"I don't know," I answered.

We basked in the silence.

"When do you have to go to work again?" she asked.

"I think I have to call in sick..."