Adventure of Rekka Ch. 09

"No, no, while ordering your men to retreat would be very brave of you, you're an excellent leader and I admire you, I'm afraid it would be a waste. Please direct your attention to your unfortunately exposed rear," Dickius ordered, his tone apologetic.

Lucius turned slowly, waiting for an arrow to slide between his shoulder blades. What he saw was somehow worse. He could see how they managed it. He and his men were focused on the wall, their raucous laughter would have allowed an orchestra to sneak from behind. Absolutely nothing else was clear to him. Seeing the two hellhounds leading an unheard of menagerie of demons was so terrifying a sight that he'd moved beyond fear and could only find it darkly humorous.

This wasn't the front. This army could not exist here. It went against his hard earned experience. He worried for the future, seeing clearly now that the war had become so predictable that the first side who tried absolutely anything different would have the advantage. Clearly the demons had done so. He'd never seen their captives cooperate so fully, he hoped they were under some sort of spell, betraying humanity in their fight for existence was a crime without equal. He looked at Dickius, the man who had led him to this doom. The man appeared cognizant of his actions, in any case.

"I hope our deaths satisfy you, traitor," Lucius said with cold accusation.

"Nope, it's your lives we want. Could use the manpower. Sorry, Lucius, don't feel too bad. You couldn't have seen this coming, despite the sergeants damn near psychic paranoia," he explained, nodding respectfully at the man.

The sergeant even nodded back. He'd never met anyone who could evade his judgement in the slightest. He would have loved the opportunity to mold him into a proper soldier, it would be his magnum opus. Sergeants would tell of his legend for centuries to come as they terrorized men who dared to believe they could ever be soldiers.

Dickius shrugged, looking around at what he had wrought before continuing, "We shouldn't be here. We shouldn't have taken the town. We shouldn't be working together. We damn well shouldn't have put me in charge. Unfortunately for you, we are and we did. I'd like to introduce you to the third faction in this stupid fucking war. You can at least take comfort that you're not joining the enemy you know. I think you'll find us good company, eventually."

"Anyway, welcome to Asylum, glad to have you," Bill cheerfully welcomed his new recruits.

-

"I'm honestly surprised I'm unsurprised that worked," Scipio admitted, watching as Sarah's ability went to work on the gathered men in the courtyard. Already women without partners were weaving between them as they made their choices. The men were in no condition to refuse, and gladly followed them to any available privacy.

"Yeah, we're getting good at this. Maybe I can just go con your king out of his crown, cut out the middleman," Bill replied, holding Rekka to his side while he watched the men join the rebellion with delirious enthusiasm. "Unless that sergeant's got a brother working in the palace, that is."

"Put that guy to work as soon as he's joined the team and able to think straight. He'll damn well see trouble coming before it even starts. His paranoia is almost physical, he wields it like a sword. Fucker knew I was bullshitting him, he just couldn't prove it. Took one damn look at the town and knew it was a trap. If he'd been in charge this would have failed miserably," Bill explained, impressed. The man's natural suspicion was clearly a match for his suspicious nature.

"We'll start moving people to Haven as soon as these boys figure out this isn't just some nightmare they're having. Kendra's agreed to play Sheriff for us, she'll keep them in line. I'm gonna miss her girls, but keeping them safe is the only important thing. Dulius shouldn't have any problems, and if he's fooled us all she'll rip him to pieces and send for a new leader. He's shown us all he's a damned fine actor."

"Very well. I think everyone will be happier for the extra room. As I recall the first time we managed this the men were up and following orders within the week. We'll be able to hold together for that long without problems," Scipio replied.

"Cool. Alright, I'm going to go throw up. I'm never drinking again, maybe even water. If you could send Helena to my home when you find her I'd appreciate it. I think I'm bleeding internally," Bill explained, leaning on Rekka's shoulders, his legs beginning to shake.

-

Someone was pounding on his door again. Bill's eyes flew open filled with rage. Rekka snarled, pushing her head into his neck and trying to ignore the sound. They hadn't spent the last few weeks fucking eachother unconcious, but still he hated to be woken up early. He'd literally become a warlord to avoid rising early for work. Just as he was about to shout threats of death and worse at the knocker, a panicked yell carried through the door.

"Fucking A, guys, wake up! Get to the wall, I don't know what's up but all the girls here are losing their shit!" Larry shouted. He stopped hammering the door so likely he was headed with all speed for the walls.

"Well, shit. Can't be an army, those stupid fucking harpies wouldn't miss one of those, right?" Bill asked, sitting up and looking for his clothes scattered around the room. He never found an article of clothing in the same place twice. Once he and Rekka decided to go to bed there simply was no time to think about this sort of thing. He gave up looking for his shirt, finding only his boots and jeans. Sighing, he opened the chest and pulled out the silk shirt, socks, and boxers Annika had made for him. They were beautifully made and looked comfortable.. but he was intensely uncomfortable knowing where and how they were made.

"C'mon, they're nice," Rekka said, pulling her own silken tank top and booty shorts on. Bill had to admit the clingy white material and exposed midriff was intensely appealing. He'd wear the clothing if only to thank Annika for Rekka's new outfit.

"Jesus, hot damn!" Bill cried, shivering with pleasure. "Silk boxers are fucking awesome," he said, grinning at Rekka.

"Right?" she replied, wiggling her own skin tight shorts.

"Ok, let's go, sounds like today is gonna be a long one," Bill said, finished lacing up his boots.

He pulled open their door, looking around as mamono ran every which way in some kind of panic. He shared a surprised look with Rekka, then both turned and sprinted for the walls. All the more aggressive mamono were already there, the orcs had fallen into ranks with their husbands, weapons at the ready while staring grimly at the closed gate. Even the ogres were subdued. Hell, they were relieved to see him for once. Red and her blue sisters were here, he'd never seen her out of the tavern. Obviously this was serious as all hell.

Bill flew up the stairs, slamming into a merlon in his haste to reach the top. He looked over at Scipio and Sarah, seeing them stare grimly over the walls. Taking a look for himself he immediately scoffed.

"The fuck is this all about? There's two of em," Bill complained. They'd woken him for this?

"Fuck. That's a hero, husband," Rekka answered him, then pointing at the heavily armored winged woman floating a few stories above the armored figure. "That's his valkyrie. The heroes that might be able to take the Demon Lord always gets one of them, they're about as tough as he is."

"Huh. What's he doing here? Tell him we're fresh out of Demon Lords," Bill muttered before looking at Scipio. "He say anything?"

"No. We only noticed him standing there a short time ago, I ordered the gate shut and everyone able to fight to the walls. You'll not be able to con your way out of this one, Bill," Scipio answered, his tone hopeless as he rubbed Sarah's back.

"Bullshit. This asshole might be a hero but he ain't never seen anything like me," Bill scoffed.

"Larry, you bring em?" Bill asked, looking at the man standing next to Tabitha, his words breaking his fixation on the floating woman.

"Oh, yeah. Do we.. Do we just shoot him? The way these people are talking I'm not even sure that would work," Larry replied, unrolling the padded sheet revealing several rifles.

The long rifles were beautiful, and hideously complex. All angled metal and smooth wood. Clearly he'd turned his weapons into jigsaw puzzles that hopefully would confuse anyone that attempted to recreate them. They worked though, the centaurs could drive a nail in with them at six hundred yards, without fail. Larry passed them out to the centaurs, then unslung the beast that was the Mark One.

"Nah, that's plan B. It would be pretty handy having our own hero, if only for the novelty. Don't see many of them around these parts," Bill replied. "Your stupid gun looks less steampunky. I'll miss that dumbass crosshair."

Larry didn't respond, moving over to Tabitha. She was spooked, and that made him scared as hell.

Bill was starting to get angry. His people were the dangerous ones, and he aimed to prove it.

He decided to poke the bear.

"Hey! Can I help you? What's with the floating chick?" Bill called out.

The valkyrie seemed taken aback, clearly no one had dared treat her with such disrespect. Bill saw that look about three times a day anymore. The supposed hero turned his head up to meet her eyes, seemingly as surprised as she. Seeming to remember what he was here for he turned back to the walls.

"Prepare yourselves! Send out your champions, I'll drive your evil from these lands!" the hero yelled, something akin to confidence in his voice.

"Huh, sounds young, guess he's new at this. Oughta be easy if he doesn't butcher me," Bill muttered, regretting it as Rekka swung her head to look at him.

"You ain't goin' out there," she growled, laying down the gospel.

"Might have to. Don't worry, even if the new guns don't kill them, the centaurs ought to give those two something to think about while I beat feet back to the walls," Bill replied, patting her back soothingly. He turned back to fuck with the guy who felt comfortable calling himself a hero.

"No thank you! Is there anything else we can help you with?" Bill called.

"What?" the hero shouted in shocked disbelief.

"Yeah! Fresh outta champions! Could send over some sandwiches if you like," Bill called back.

"What?" the hero repeated, over his shock and now filled with pure disbelief.

"Quartermaster says we got a shipment of champions due next week, could you come back then?" Bill yelled, enjoying himself more than he should.

"What." he yelled a bit quieter. This was not how this was supposed to go. An exasperated growl floated down from above him.

"Ah shit, everyone duck," Bill said, realizing the woman was the more dangerous of the two.

The winged and heavily armored woman lowered her shield and pointed her sword at the walls, its blade glowing. A heartbeat later a torrent of light scored a line from the bottom of the wall and upwards directly towards Bill in particular. He'd seen it coming, pushing Rekka down and throwing himself on top of her. He waited a few moments before climbing to his feet, pulling Rekka to hers and looking over the walls. A deep gash had been burned through the wall. Bill gave the merlon in front of him a slight push. It split, half of it falling away giving him a better view.

"I suppose I can see why y'all might be concerned," Bill said to himself, rubbing his chin while watching the two nuisances outside his town.

The valkyrie was having a heated conversation with the hero, who's body language was like a child scolded by his mother. He hung his head, his sword and shield lowered to his sides while he kicked at the dust. Bill would have laughed if the fuckers weren't so obviously dangerous. The hero finally nodded, raising his sword and shield as he looked back at the walls.

"You! Come forth! Bring your monster if you wish, she won't save you," the hero demanded.

"You heard him, I'm comin with," Rekka said.

"Sorry babe, I'm gonna pull the fuckin' rug out from under him, and I can only do it if he thinks I'm not a threat. That's you all over. He'd probably just attack us as soon as we walked outside," Bill explained, hoping Rekka had come to trust him enough to let him do this.

She looked into his eyes for a moment, then pulled him down for a fierce kiss that became gentle as she let go. Bill smiled at her, his heart swelling with love as his mind filled with furious thoughts of torment for this supposed hero that had come to kill her and his friends.

"Ok, be right down! Tell that lightning bug to calm her tits, I'm not made of walls you know," Bill yelled, enjoying the shaking fury his taunt had triggered in the floating woman. The hero stared at her, not sure what to do and too afraid to ask.

"Ok, someone bring some rope. I'm not opening the gates," Bill ordered. One of the orcs was on it, running up the steps with a large coil of rope.

"Thanks Jilly, head on back down now, there's already enough of us in the line of fire," Bill said, waving her back. "Ok, Tabitha. We've done this before. If you could hold on while I climb on down," Bill requested, throwing the rope over the walls and handing the end to Tabitha.

"Be careful, Bill," Tabitha said, her mask slipping revealing her concern.

"No problem Tabitha! I know it looks bad, but he's the one in trouble," Bill replied, looking back at Rekka.

"See you in a bit, babe. This won't take long," Bill said, giving her a confident smile.

"I dunno what yer thinkin, but he's stronger than you, y'know. Hero's armor gots magic on it, it's real hard to get a claw through even if the armor ain't coverin' it. It's got some stupid mamono repellin' magic," Rekka said, clearly distressed. "An you ain't even wearin your stupid chain! Do you even know where yer sword is?"

"Hell, wearing that shit would just make this harder. Don't you worry a bit, Rekka. Remember, he's a hero," Bill said, a villainous grin on his face.

"He's fucked."

With a cheerful wave he stepped off the wall. Quickly he repelled to the ground, giving one last smile to the concerned faces looking down at him.

Bill ambled his way over to the hero, in no rush. He waved up at the valkyrie when he was close enough to make out details. The woman sneered at him, turning back to watch the walls. Bill laughed to himself, walking over to the hero and nodding his head.

With all of his willpower he pushed the cold fury rising through him down and out of the way, if only long enough to end this.

The young man sure looked the part, about Felix's age with a strong jaw, perfect hair, and striking blue eyes. Bill felt oafish and ugly in comparison, making his plans for this idiot all the sweeter. The hero looked him over in confusion, sheathing his sword on his back and hanging his shield over it.

"Hi, what's up?" Bill asked.

"Where the devil is your sword, man?" the hero asked, ignoring his question.

Bill turned to look back at the wall, his brow furrowed.

"You know, I really can't remember. I'm pretty sure it's not in my house. I can't remember the last time I had it on me," Bill explained, shrugging as he turned back to the hero.

"What? How do you expect us to duel if you don't have a sword?" the hero asked, clearly disappointed in Bill's lack of preparation.

"Don't ask me, I've never been in a duel before. If I needed a sword you should have said something before I walked all the way over here," Bill answered.

"Are you perhaps some sort of martial artist?" the hero asked hopefully.

"Not that I know of. You know, I don't think I've actually punched anyone at all now that you mention it," Bill replied, thinking back, surprised.

"Teresa! What do I do? He's unarmed!" the hero called up at the valkyrie.

"I don't know! This has never happened before. I.. I don't think we can just stab him, it wouldn't be sporting. Even then, I think there's something wrong with him, he may have lost his mind in some way," Teresa replied, looking pensive.

"No, I just lost my sword. I'd appreciate it if you didn't stab me. Kind of prefer no one got stabbed. We haven't killed anyone, we're pacifists," Bill replied, mixing truth with the lies.

"Are you really in charge?" the hero asked with awe.

"Unfortunately. I can't trick anyone into taking the job, that's for sure," Bill replied, glaring back at the walls.

"Open the gates. Assist me in clearing the demons, I will liberate you and your comrades," the hero ordered, trying a new approach.

"No thank you, we've got enough liberation back there, some of them are downright exibitionist. We're all pretty happy with the state of things, I doubt anyone would appreciate you butting in," Bill countered.

"Just gut him, damn you!" a sharp voice rang out from behind the hero.

Bill leaned around him to check for any tiny assholes, seeing nothing.

"What was that?" he asked.

"Shut up, damn you, I can handle this," the hero hissed, reaching back to slap the pommel of his sword.

"He's playing you for a fool, fool! Gut him and slaughter the fiends behind that wall!" the voice demanded. Bill realized it was coming from the sword as the hero grabbed the hilt and shoved it harder into the sheath, quieting it's calls for blood.

"S-sorry, he's excitable," the hero said sheepishly.

"Holy shit, a talking sword. Nice," Bill replied, wondering if it would match his purse.

"Not as much as you'd think. Sure he can cut through steel like butter, but then he complains about scratching his finish, I never get a break," the hero whined.

"Proper care for your weapons and armor is an important part of defeating evil," Teresa lectured.

"I know, I know.. but sometimes I'd like to rest first after training with him for hours," he replied with a heaving sigh.

"Sounds like you got it tough. Well, I guess we should get this over with. I suppose I'll try to punch you, and you can do your thing with that sword, yeah?" Bill asked, raising his fists and looking at them doubtfully.

"Well, I suppose that is the proper thing to do," the hero responded without enthusiasm. "I'm not going to enjoy this you know, nothing about this is going like I expected."

"I don't know, seems to be going fairly smoothly on my end," Bill replied, lowering his fists and smiling innocently.

"Really? That's a relief, I thought I may have bungled this.. It's my first time, you know. She finally decided I was ready," he confessed, brightening up. He began reaching for his sword.

This revelation almost certainly saved the idiot's life.

"Hey, I didn't catch your name? Be a shame to die without knowing who killed you," Bill replied, holding out his hand.

"Oh, sorry. I completely forgot. They won't be able to sing songs about me if nobody knows my name, or so Teresa keeps telling me," he replied, leaving his sword sheathed and grasping Bill's hand in his own. Muffled curses and warnings from the sword fell on deaf ears.

"Marcus Atillius Octavius, nice to meet you. Sorry I have to kill you, you know."

"I wouldn't worry about it, Marky Mark. Name's Dickius. Biggius Dickius Primus, pleasure is all mine," Bill replied, dazzling the man with his grin. Or perhaps he was baring his teeth.

The valkyrie snorted in amusement at the introduction, her focus slipping for a mere moment. It was all BIll needed.

"What?"

Bill viciously pulled the man's arm toward him, nearly dislocating it while thrusting his forehead into the hero's confused expression with every ounce of his bolstered strength, tearing muscles in his own arm with his furious effort.

Bill only appeared to pay no attention to those around him, more interested in trading barbs and making jokes. Sometimes it was even true. He always listened to his wife, though. Rekka had very specifically stated the hero's magical armor was enchanted to repel mamono attack. As he'd been hoping, it did not slow him down one bit.