Adventure of Rekka Ch. 10

Larry broke in, “Shit, I wouldn’t say you’re bad at it. I’d like to. You’re pretty fucking weird to me too, man.” He looked Bill over, hardly able to believe this big fucking redneck was so far successfully leading an insurrection. He waved an arm up and down at Bill, more than a little angry at the ridiculous circumstances he and Tabby had found themselves.

“You might actually be insane. You’re way too cool under pressure, they’re right what you did today. It’s not just the way you think, it’s that you can follow through. No way just anyone would be doing this, even if they thought they were capable of it. If it was just me and Tabby we’d be a hundred miles away from this shit-show. You’re over here putting an assault on heaven on the to-do list. If you’re normal maybe we’re from different Earths,” Larry finished.

“Huh. That could be true. Who's the President of Mars where you come from?” Bill asked, sounding innocently curious.

“Fuck you, dude,” Larry snapped, his eyes narrowing. He’d nearly fallen for it.

“Yeah, everyone knows they’ve got a monarchy. Anyway, what I was trying to say is that I knew what that idiot was going to do before he did. The only one with a clue out there was the sword, and predictably Wonderboy ignored him. You saw him standing out there, Larry. He was probably there for hours waiting for someone to actually notice him. I bet that angel started flying just to hurry the process along. How did you expect him to act?”

“Yeah, I get you, he’s fucking Galahad. He’s a boy scout. He’s Captain Fucking America. Doesn’t mean I’d be able to do a damn thing about it. I know for fucking sure I’m smarter than you, man. You’re still thinking circles around me. There’s got to be a very laughably small number of people in this universe that would have been dumb enough to climb down that rope,” he snarled out, glaring at this fucking guy that could dare believe any of these decent people could follow in his suicidal for anyone but him footsteps. He didn’t stop there.

“Even knowing how starry eyed and trusting that fucker was. Knowing he’d just be fucking asking for it. Fucking so wide open and begging for that thick fucking skull of yours to cave in that dumb fucking nose of his. Of that handful of dumb-fuck brave nutjobs, exactly you would give it a go,” Larry ranted at Bill, pointing his finger accusingly. “These people? You’re goddamned right they don’t understand a damn bit of how you managed to do that. I sure as fuck only understand why it might have been possible. You have to be able to process this. I’ve been around your ass too long, you’re not that dumb, you’re probably not that brave, I pray you’re not that insane because these people need you to be stable for them.”

Bill was impressed. Larry being pissed off was pretty much his factory setting. He’d managed to find the turbo button.

“Yeah, yeah man. Believe me, I know how you’re seeing this. If you had this stupid magical bullshit strength, you could have done this too. You could have done it even better. Just have walked up to him and say “Why hello, guy who think’s he’s Captain Fucking America and doesn’t have a clue what this shiny contraption I’m holding does. Would you mind taking a close look into this worryingly wide if-only-you-knew hole for me? Won’t take a second, we can sort this whole mess out.”

Bill looked hard at Larry, holding up his hand to keep him from interrupting.

“Like I said, you’re not seeing what I saw, that idiot didn’t have all my attention you know. There was also this angry little shit standing on that wall next to the woman he loved holding his stupid gun. He was holding that stupid amazing weapon and staring down that literal fucking angel just absolutely aching for her to get in range of his widely inaccurate but incredibly, nigh-hysterically, potent cannon. That stupid bastard could not contain the desire to show her exactly why she should not have fucking come here and picked a fight with people she could never know were so much better and far, far fucking more dangerous than her self-righteous ass and her repulsively strong boyfriend,” Bill said calmly. “That guy really can’t see how I did what I did?”

“Christ. Is that what I was doing?” Larry whispered, feeling dazed. Until Bill said it out loud he hadn’t realized he was standing on that wall, waiting. Just wishing for that flying fuck to get into range. He’d tag her, that’s all it would take.. just give her a little bit of the horrible shit he’d loaded into his baby. How dare that shiny pigeon decide Tabby was worth killing, just walk up to her home and decide she was evil without a second thought. That they were so self-evidently good.

He looked up into the face of the woman he loved, seeing those parts of her he couldn’t remember why he had found strange once. He knew others often had trouble understanding what she was feeling, and remembered it had been the case for him at one time but it was a mystery to him now. Her ears, her tail, the way she carried herself with absolute fucking confidence, and sometimes so sweetly self-conscious. He was sure someone who didn’t know her would assume Tabby was just looking at him. She couldn’t have been more obviously telling him how proud, so happy to have him with her. Here, and back on the wall where she expected to lose him. She could have been leading a parade in his honor, and it wouldn’t have equaled the small sweet smile that she bestowed on him. A rare but oh so beautiful gift for him. Just for him. He smiled back, understanding Bill far better than he ever thought he would.

That fucking redneck was just too hard to pin down. Whenever he was dead certain Bill was a certifiably insane con-artist doing his best to get them all killed.. that fucker would explain how Larry was no better than him. It was fucking insufferable.

“Yeah.. yeah, I guess I can see how you managed,” Larry muttered. He hated it when Bill was right, much less admitting it to him.

“I knew you’d get there. You think Scipio couldn’t do it? You think Sarah or Tabitha, you expect Rekka couldn’t fucking manage to better my stupid fucking thick skull? One way or another, they can do it, and far better than me,” Bill declared, smiling at his friends he was sure had almost zero clue what he and Larry were arguing about. He’d get them on the right course eventually. He’d probably have to break a few more noses before he figured out the right teaching method, but he’d get them there.

“The only thing stopping them was they saw him as a Hero. A legendary warrior who’s kind have managed so many terrible things, an absolutely unstoppable killing machine with no mercy, and perfectly over-engineered to counter them. It was a truly awful sight and I will cry tears of joy the day they see what we see, see how much of a sadly hilarious played out joke that guy really is,” Bill continued, winking at Sarah. He figured she’d be the first one to show him she was catching on. She was a very attentive student, and far smarter than him.

Bill was certain if he’d been born in this world he would indeed just be some nobody from nowhere. Sarah was leading a barbarian raiding party, which would have been wildly successful if Larry hadn’t been brought here and butterfly-effected the fuck out of her world. In his world she’d be President of Mars, no question. That other prick wouldn’t have stood a chance, no matter how popular his promise was to destroy the Earth. He just knew it. He’d tell Larry that with a straight face later, see if the snippy little shit just fucking exploded.

“Then I can stop doing a damn thing and relax. Only thing I really have going here is I knew how to get that oh-so-fucking-satisfying sucker punch from this wall, and get it invited in for an intimate chat. What do you know, G.I. Joe wasn’t talking out its ass. Knowing is half the battle. I’ve got the knowing, and you better believe we can find more than half of a battle to shove in behind it.”

“Still think you’re fucking crazy. Let’s gather these people up and head south until we find a beach.”

“Nah, I hear the beaches up north are better,” Bill replied, smiling at his friends and running his hands lovingly through Rekka’s hair.

“Anyway, the main point I was trying to make, before we got sidetracked by how crazy I am, and how equally crazy Larry is, you all heard him. Fucker was on that wall with some contraption staring at a flying lady. Sorry man, had to say it. Anyway, here’s my fucking point..” Bill laughed, grinning at Larry who was likely going to be the man that killed him some day. No one would convict, he must have deserved it somehow. Shaking his head Bill got to the damn point.

“For a very long time nothing has changed here. The only thing, the absolutely only event that stands out from your history that I have learned is the current Demon Lord fucking things up. Just a series of wars and recovery, and now a very long battle for existence. I’ve talked to people about this here, this kingdom has been around for what sounds like thousands upon thousands of years. If you traveled back a few hundred years it would take you a helluva a while to figure out what happened. If me and Larry went back ten years in our world we’d freak the fuck out in about five minutes,” Bill said, receiving a sharp nod from Larry.

“There has been literally zero progress. I understand why, don’t get me wrong, it is not your fault. If I could toss you over to my world you’d be settled in and bitching at people over the internet in about three months,” Bill told them with absolute honesty, an assertive nod of agreement from Larry backing him up. At one point they had spent a while trying to explain the internet to them, they understood that it was something wildly amazing but equally mundane. Bill had done most of the explaining.

“No, this was done to you. You were never given a chance. This last Demon Lord, however much she has to answer for is nothing compared to whoever started this in the first place. Every time you guys started making progress another war would come and knock you down. Then, miracle of miracles, some heroes would show up and bring peace. Right up until you were back on your feet,” Bill said, then he looked over at Larry.

“I’m not crazy enough to say we can go kick some sense into the gods, but someone has to. As shit as our world is at least whoever or whatever gave us our start was kind enough to step out of the way. Hell, might be why the boss took off. Too bad he didn’t take all his friends with him.”

“Yer right. My mama taught me what she knew.. ain’t nothin different now, sides us. Just fight an’ die an’ right back at it when they was ready,” Rekka said, nodding sadly.

Scipio puffed at his pipe, deep if thought for a moment before also nodding, his face grave.

“That’s what we’re trying to change here. If all we do is knock this train off its tracks then we’ll have done enough. Maybe some people that know what the fuck they’re doing can pick up where we leave off.”

“Anyway, enough of this shit. There’s a problem we’re equipped for heading our way and we’re getting distracted. No more telling me how amazing it was that those two gullible fucking idiots got suckerpunched, everyone here could have managed better. Scipio! These Order boys, what exactly can we expect?”

“No more than two order units, likely only one. Expect as little as eight, twenty men at the most. A mix of mounted paladins and heavy templar infantry, likely a priest. We’ll of course need the harpy to confirm, but I expect they will be of no great concern in and of themselves. When they do not return, as I expect they won’t, the church will send a greater force to investigate. This should take some time, we’ll be able to make our next moves without much pressure.”

“Shit, won’t they just circle the wagons, wait for us to come to them? Figure they’d send an army and start throwing up defenses around those towns north of us,” Bill asked.

“Well, that might happen as well. The Order is not part of the military, though. They do not fight at the front unless their assistance is called for. They’ve taken it upon themselves to.. cleanse the settled lands and root out mamono and the men they have captured,” Scipio explained, no longer finding them to be quite the righteous defenders he once believed them to be.

“Jesus. More fucking heroes. Must be really brave to avoid open warfare and kill families,” Bill scoffed. He looked around meeting everyone’s eyes for a moment, his expression dark.

“Shit. I know how I feel, any of y’all in the mood to take prisoners?” Bill asked.

His anger was rushing back in, and he did his best to suppress it. This was different from the soldier’s he’d met, they had considered it their job to defend their posts. The idea of hunting the mamono was outrageous to them. It had been Lord Flavius that forced Tullius’s squad after him and Rekka, so they reported.

“No.. I don’t believe I am. You know, I used to look up to them. They seemed so noble in their quest to aid humanity. Now I see how wrong I was. I’ll admit their zeal for the killing was distasteful to me even then, but I had thought it to be a product of fighting what I believed was a great evil. If anyone, they would know exactly what they were fighting. Families, children. It’s sickening to me now,” Scipio replied softly. Holding Sarah’s hand, his face hardened.

“No, I would not want them fighting with us. I would also not want them disarmed and sent north to continue their quest.”

The rest nodded their approval, though not enthusiastic. They weren’t killers, despite their predilection for violence.

“Right. I don’t want to do this within sight of the walls. These women don’t need to see these fuckers. I’ll head out and take care of it. You’ll be in charge, Scipio. I’m not going to take no for an answer this time,” Bill ordered.

“Yes, I am sorry you know, I should have explained myself better, but at the time I only found it ridiculous that you would suggest I take command. You very clearly do not enjoy being in your position, which is very heartening, truly. I have led soldiers, you are right it does seem like I would be a better fit for it. That is not the case. This is not an army, Bill, no longer a garrison. You have somehow managed to create a truly unique community. I would have no idea where to begin. I am not sure what we have here, we are more dangerous than many armies I have seen, I agree. Yet there is almost a complete lack of discipline, other than what our wives manage to achieve through intimidation and violence.. Supposing I heard of this place as I have described it I would consider it some kind of madhouse. Instead it is a truly happy community filled with interesting people looking forward to raising their families. And also ready and willing to be very.. very surprisingly violent towards any threat that comes their way. Do you truly suggest I have any inkling on how this happened, and how I might keep it that way? Should I keep it that way? One would certainly believe I shouldn’t. Yet it works. It works very well. Had I never met you and marched to these gates with a thousand men at my back ready to retake this town, I am certain I would not enjoy the experience, and very uncertain I would survive it. I cannot lead this, I believe you may be the only one able.”

Seeing the weight settle onto Bill’s shoulders Scipio felt great sympathy for this man, who was not suited for this, but somehow had become the only one that would fit.

“Still, I will do whatever I can, this is my home as well. Rely on me, Asylum will be safe while you deal with these.. men,” he promised.

“Glad to hear it. I’m no leader, though. I’m not suited for it, I hate giving orders. Sometimes I can barely stand myself, if I wasn’t in charge and some asshole like me kept trying to keep me from being a lazy piece of shit I’d do everything I could to make that fucker’s life hell. Those goblins and I would fucking ruin him. If those four try to kill me I’m not sure if I could even be mad about it. Truth is, I’m more of a problem solver. Those men are a problem and I’m going to solve the hell out of them,” Bill promised in return.

He looked over Tabitha, Larry, and Helena, patting Rekka on her back. He even included Felix in his appraisal. Helena loved him, that alone meant the man was worth a damn.

“Looks like we’re putting the band back together. It’ll be a relief getting back to what I’m good at. Ruining lives is way easier than trying my damnedest to make them happy. Oh, that is if you’re all in. I won’t put you in unnecessary danger, Helena, Felix. I’ll want you two to play rear guard, I’d just feel much better if you’re close enough to patch us back up if these fuckers give us any trouble,” Bill explained, wanting to reassure her first before he found out how the more lethal members felt about it.

Tabitha nodded her assent, Larry lifting his stupid gun into his lap and scowling at it. Finally he gave Bill a sharp nod. Rekka didn’t even bother, she’d be going no matter what he decided. Bill returned his attention to Helena to see how she was handling this..

“Of course, Bill. I am not very happy about what you are setting out to do.. but I understand your reasons for doing so. I have heard of these men, it is simply horrid how they have no regard for even the peaceful people they encounter,” Helena replied sadly, shuffling awkwardly to bring herself closer to Felix.

Helena was currently sitting on the ground, or the equine equivalent of such a thing. She was uncomfortable standing over her friends as they sat, despite being shorter than most of them when they stood, and she knew Felix would not rest himself if she did not. Helena truly did not mind, though she did not find it easy to move once she was in this position. Rekka was always ready to assist her back to her hooves, with her dear friend’s assistance it was no trouble at all. She’d begun to even enjoy it now. Due to the height of her equine lower body she found this perfectly allowed Felix to hold her so gently in his arms.

“I’ll go where Helena goes, Bill. I suppose I’ll need to find a spear, though I no longer consider myself much of a soldier. It doesn’t feel as right to me as it once did,” Felix admitted.

“Don’t worry, I doubt you’ll get a chance to use it, better to have it in any case. If anyone gets close to you we’ve fucked up royally. Get yourself a horse, too. I want you two well out of the way while we do what we need to do, but I’ll want you able to get to us quickly if we call for you. Or run like hell if we’ve completely underestimated these guys,” Bill replied, he wasn’t really worried, just happy his DnD party was back in the game.

“Ok then, if you’ll go find that harpy I’d appreciate it, Scipio. Green and yellow feathers, one of our better scouts if I remember. Fast as all hell. Landed on the northwest tower, at least you won’t have to send anyone after her with climbing gear. Bring her husband, too. Likely need him to translate birdbrain for us,” Bill requested.

“Certainly, I’ll send a runner now. If you’ll excuse me,” Scipio agreed, standing and making his way towards the gate.

“Ok. Helena, Felix, please head back to a safe distance, I’m not taking chances with these two” Bill explained. Rekka hopped over to help Helena to her hooves, grinning and shrugging off Helena’s thanks as unnecessary. It wouldn’t work, Helena was incapable of not expressing her appreciation.

Bill nodded with satisfaction when they moved off far enough he judged could be considered somewhat safe, close enough they wouldn’t object. He would really prefer those two would camp outside the walls until their new guests were dealt with. If nothing else Bill would make sure those two didn’t get a chance to take her horn. The thought of it made him clench his fists so hard it was painful, something he’d been happily not experiencing very much before this mess had walked up to his walls.