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Click hereBrian threw a left which was blocked and followed up with a right handed uppercut catching Tim in the jaw and knocking him back a couple of steps.
Tami yelled, "Hit him Tim."
Tim stood his ground waiting for Brian to make the next move.
Brian began throwing a barrage of punches but Tim dodged or blocked most of them. Tim threw a right at Brian's head and missed. Tim could tell he was going to be hard to hit in the head because Brian had a slight reach advantage with his longer arms.
Tim came back at him with a powerful left punch to Brian's lower stomach followed by a bone cracking right to his ribs. As Brian began to go down Tim caught him with a punch to the back of his head and Brian was out for the count.
Tami ran up to Tim wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his bare chest she said, "I love you Tim."
Tami went into the house while Tim helped Brian get back to his feet. Brian put his shirt back on and the two men went inside. Tim went over to the stairs and got his shirt and put it on and then went to the fridge to get a couple of bottles of beer.
He handed a beer to Brian and said, "You alright?"
Brian took a large gulp of the beer and replied, "Yeah Tim, man you got a hell of a right, I think you broke a rib."
Brian finished his beer and left the house, Tim watched him as he crossed the street and drove away.
This was a great story until the part where Tim turns up - then the story felt like it was a bit rushed - certainly not up the same standards as your other submissions. The ending of this chapter was a bit weak.
But this story has certainly got lots of potential and I hope you keep on with the adventures - just go back to the style of chapters 1-3!
Brian Screws TAmi, Tim punches him a couple of times and all is forgiven. What a bunch of baloney.....she "loves" TIm cause he beat up Brian, what if he couldn't would she love Brian then? Come on-lets have a reality check here! Tim needs to really consider being married to Tami.
I think that Brian will be getting much more of Tami from now on. With Tim allowing him to do his wife she will feel free to sample Brian and others when Tim is out of town like he always is. Tami will now be more satisfied that it was alright with her husband for her to make love to Brian. Nice story and well written.
... this was fantastic up until the point where Tim showed up. I was so excited to see Tami in action, but Tim showing up was just... weird. I'm not a big fan of the wife-sharing thing. I like cheating wifes, especially as sexy and innocent as Tami, but the husband approving and watching isn't my cup of tea. Oh well.
Sorry but I think he's a wimp and Brian is the alpha male..Do you get off on writing the stories that put the husband in a bad light and making the wife look like a whore. And kids yeat..Sure kids are stupid..Ha ha. They hear every word spoken and make up their minds. So how does it feel that you are contributing to the down fall of America...don't say that you are just writing things as they really are...That's bullshit or worse Human shit and your story stinks..just like i imagine you do..PUKE
I suspect that neither are literary giants. One uses your instead of you're and the other leaves out the verb in an important sentence. But, I suppose that is why we have an "anonymous" comment catagory, therefore neither has to be responsible for anything they write.
While I am inclined to agree with your comments, it's hard to your comments seriously. If you are going to include statements such as "a writer [you're] not", it would help if you knew the difference between your and you're -- or basic sentence structure.
Yeah, like she'd fuck the guy in full view of her husband. And he'd let her.
smart your not, a writer your not, either your a child or your an idiot.