All Comments on 'Adventurous Anniversary'

If you are into sharing and swapping and the lifestyle then yes go for it however i cant help thinking this is a big step from being a faithful couple for 10 years to suddenly fucking around with other people. But at least there was no cuckolding involved.

Pleased that the opening bar meet-up wasn't the end of the story. A series of interactions, including romantic dialogue that often delved into fantasy, and of course has little bearing in reality, made this story much more complete.

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Gotta say that using the second person present tense is an instant turn-off for me. I barely made it to the second sentence because I assumed you were an inept beginner. But BION (sorry, "believe it or not"), what convinced me that you were fully aware of what you were doing was the series of sentences that appeared to be run-ons--whole paragraphs (it seemed) without punctuation. But each one used proper subject-verb agreement and was structured properly and described action that was so intense that a good lover wouldn't want to stop to interrupt it with silly things like commas or periods or even a good strong semicolon; aaaaah, that was good. Yours were better.

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I haven't done that in a while. Goodonya, mate, for inspiring a little variety in life.

Second person loses points.You don't know me, don't write about what I'm "doing."

*4!!!!!!! And those don't come cheaply!!!!!! Would have been a *5 but for the "You & I" first person, second person prose!!!!!!! Was very confusing at the start with the fantasy "pick someone up" scenario!!!!! Would have flowed better with names instead of the You and I that you used!!!!!!!

I don't understand why some people hate second person with such a vehemence (sbrooks103x). I guess you couldn't stand novels like, "Bright Lights, Big City" by Jay McInerney or the amazing "If on a Winter's Night a Traveler" by Italo Calvino either?

Read some literary fiction and not just Literotica entries, you might expand your horizons a bit.

Totally agree with 'sbrooks103x'!

Hate that sort of writing!

I NEVER give them more than 1*!

Beautiful

I don't know how anyone in their right mind can object to something like this

Second person stories suck.

Other than it being second person, it was decent. Would have been better without it being second person and before other readers twist their knickers, get it through your head that second person takes a great deal of ability if its too work, writers here generally do not have that degree of talent.

I wrote this for my wife, so the You/Me thing worked there. I had no idea it would be so divisive. But seriously, marking something a 1 because you don't like a literary convention is pretty sucky. Just don't mark it and move on.

And saying "Second person stories suck" as an anonymous user doesn't make me change my ways.

Anyway, if you don't like second person stories, you probably shouldn't read my other stuff. The First Crush one isn't second person :P

Totally agree, however, that in general, second person stories aren't typically as well written. I hope that if you get through this one you change your mind somewhat.

Great story. So hot .

Decently written, good detail. I honestly found it very hard to follow. But it was a decent attempt at this type of story and was a new angle. Based on what I read this couple will be divorced in five years if they continue down this path. Lol. All said and done worth the read. 4*

Sincerely,

Payenbrant

A personal failing of mine is as soon as I see 2nd person prose I put the author in the arrogant asshole box and move on. Possibly I'll miss a worthwhile story every now and again but I sure leave a lot of dreck unread. Can't score what I don't read, so there's that.

@BuzzCzar I agree and I'm perfectly happy for people to not read and not vote.

@payenbrant: Agree with this too. This is basically a fantasy that both of us agreed we would never do in real life.

Seems as if I had a lot of fun.

Ignore the critics. I loved your story…especially the finale.