After The Conference

"Perhaps you've been found..."

Karolin shook her head.

"I, I don't understand what's happened."

"Of course you do!"

The girl sprang to her feet, her lean body towering over Karolin, who shrank back more in shame than fear. The girl reached out, lifting Karolin's chin and starring deeply into her eyes.

"...You're just too scared to admit it."

Her gaze was hypnotic, Karolin trembled, it was as if the girl could see through her, that there was no dark corner of her mind in which she could hide. She leaned forward and her lips met Karolin's in a tender kiss. In spite of herself, Karolin welcomed the invading tongue, returning the kiss with a hungry passion. She closed her eyes, trying to avoid the haunting contradictions, to dive ever deeper into this sensual void. It seemed the more she could be possessed by the girl, the more readily the doubts, guilt and all the other demons that clawed at her sanity fell away.

Abruptly the girl pulled her back, her hand cracked across Karolin's cheek, sending her sprawling on the floor.

"No! Look at me."

Karolin cowered. All her fear and uncertainty flooding back.

"Stop lying to yourself, or get out."

Karolin's cheek stung from the blow, but the real pain came from the shredded remnants of her dignity. Half in panic, she starred up at this stranger, who both frightened, and worse still, aroused her. Tears welled in her eyes, she looked up pleading to be spared the ultimate humiliation. But the girl was in no mood to indulge her.

Helplessly Karolin look around the room as if seeking an answer lurking in the pitch shadows, amidst the shabby squat furnishing. Her eyes fell on an ancient cracked mirror propped against the wall. There, staring back at her, was an image shockingly removed from the ghostly portrait in her hotel window only hours before. This Karolin lay naked, save for the laddered remains of her stockings, her legs lewdly spread, her sex wet and open. But it was her face that held her, the half drugged eyes burning with desire, both sated, and insatiable.

Hardly daring to believe this could be real, she trailed her hand along her thigh in a languid caress, watching the reflection follow as her fingers slid between her open lips. She moaned, surprised by her arousal, lifting wet fingers to the flickering candlelight, and studying them as evidence of some unimagined state.

"Well?"

The girl's voice jolted her from her reverie. Karolin looked up, her gaze now clear, certain of this uncertain path.

"Yes..." Karolin's voice was barely a whisper.

"Yes, what?"

"I... I want to stay..." The struggle to admit her need was a heady release, but if the girl was pleased, she showed no sign. She inclined her head towards the bed.

"Get on the bed."

Her tone was stern, but the anger seemed to have abated. Karolin tried to stand, but legs felt too weak to support her. She grabbed hold of the bedpost and pulled herself upright. Struggling to regain her balance, she watched as the girl opened an old steamer trunk, in the corner of the room. Without a backward glance, she snapped. "Do as you're told, or you will be punished."

Caught like a naughty child, Karolin climbed onto the bed, before she had time to consider the import of 'punished'. The earlier spanking had been humiliating enough, how much further was she prepared to take this? But even as she feared the possible consequences, her rational old self had already surrendered. The very idea of being punished seemed to arouse her. As she lay on her back like a virgin sacrifice starring at the ceiling, she couldn't help but squeeze her thighs together in anticipation of what might follow.

"Not like that, on your hands and knees."

The girl was standing beside the bed now, an eight-inch phallus jutting out from between the thighs. She clenched her fist around the dildo, which was already glazed with some kind of lubricant, and began sliding it up and down its length in an obscene parody of masturbation. Karolin starred at the implement with an appalled fascination.

"Perhaps you want to be hurt? Are you one of those sad creatures who only respond to pain?"

"No, no that's not true." Karolin snapped back.

The girl merely smiled.

"Well then..." she rotated her finger.

Resigned, Karolin rolled onto her stomach and pushed herself up onto her hands and knees. She stared fixedly at the carved headboard, not daring to look back, as she felt the mattress give under the girl's weight. Soft hands began gently caressing her bottom, moving in ever-widening circles. It was sensual, unexpected, and Karolin could feel arousal once again begin to bloom.

Slowly the girl began to work her way forward, moving slowly up Karolin's back, still maintaining the same rhythmic caress. It was intensely erotic, her breasts grew heavy, her nipples constricted, and she could feel the juices leaking between her open thighs. She was lost in the moment until the dildo nudged against her bottom.

Karolin flinched, tried to pull away, but the girl held her firmly in place, draping herself over Karolin's back and pinning her to the bed. Karolin felt the slick dildo side along the grove of her bottom. It felt enormous, she squirmed, trying to dislodge it, but the girl was immoveable. Her hands took possession of Karolin's breasts, repeatedly squeezing each from the base towards its iridescent tip, always stopping short of her impossibly sensitive nipples.

The effect was maddening, her breasts seemed to swell with every pass, her nerve endings screaming for release. Each caress pushed her further towards a desperate bottomless pit of need.

"Please..." she whimpered, not caring now for pride or dignity.

The girl continued. Karolin's breasts felt unbearably sensitive, her breath ragged with pent up tension. Soon her moans of frustration filled the room, interspersed with incoherent pleas, but the exquisite torture continued. In desperation Karolin reached for her sex, half expecting to be denied, but the girl didn't try to stop her. She began to rub herself with increasing ferocity, trying to carry herself over the edge. Nothing worked. She cried as the realisation overtook her, tears of frustration running down her cheeks. The girl's lips brushed against her ear.

"Beg" Her fingers pinched Karolin's jutting nipples, sending a jolt of pleasure through her, before slowly trailing down towards her ravenous sex. Then, as they reached her matted bush, they parted, bypassing her sex and sliding down her thighs, before retreating to repeat the same maddening caress. Karolin could stand no more.

"No! Oh God, Please, Fuck me!"

The girl leaned forward marking her neck with a sharp love bite that seemed to seal Karolin's surrender. Then she pushed her shoulders down towards the bed, raising her bottom and exposing her completely to the waiting dildo. It felt deliciously obscene.

Karolin thrilled at her debasement. Shocking imagery cascaded through her mind, like a flash flood sweeping away everything in its path. She felt the girl's hand settle on the hip and then the gentle nudge of the dildo probing between her swollen lips, teasing its way into her. She tried to push back, to impale all her pent up frustration, but the girl held her firm, teasing her way into her.

"Please! I'm begging you..." Karolin's voice cracked with emotion.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, take me, I need you inside me"

The girl's hips jerked forward and the dildo thrust deep into Karolin. The sensation of being so suddenly filled forced a strangled scream from her as if all the air had been pushed out of her body. She thought at first she had come, but as the girl began to work the dildo she realised there was more. She pressed her cheek close to the bed pushing out her bottom to draw the girl deeper inside.

The smooth silicon slid into her, teasing her G spot and then retreating. Her sex squeezed around it, trying to hold it in place, trying the milk it as if it were flesh and blood. Somewhere in the distance Karolin could hear an incoherent babble of obscenities and screaming that she knew was her, but she was too lost the moment to care. All she could focus on was the relentless thrusting and the tidal wave of pleasure that was rushing towards her.

The girl picked up the pace and Karolin could sense that she too was losing control. The idea that their climax was connected, that they had the possibility of becoming one at that moment, possessed Karolin. She pushed herself up and began to meet every thrust of the dildo, driving herself onto it, demanding to be taken. The girl grabbed her hair, jerking her head back and ploughing into her with an abandon that had them both screaming towards a climax.

The orgasm that was building with a blinding intensity no longer belonged to Karolin, it had become some other entity that owned them both. Then it was there, bursting over them, and for a handful of blissful seconds, nothing else existed. Karolin fell forward onto the bed, the girl sprawled on top of her, still conjoined by the tireless dildo. Neither could speak, it was as if words would only sully the ecstasy, drag it down into the commonplace mud of mundane reality. Instead, they lay savouring the fading echoes of pleasure until the sweat that glazed their bodies became chilled by the night.

The girl rolled onto her back and Karolin felt the empty void left by the retreating dildo. She didn't want to look up, clinging onto the moment that had by now already passed. She felt the girl move off the bed and heard the faint sound of the dildo being released and dropped to the floor. Then with a rustle, she felt a blanket unfurled and draped across her naked body. Suddenly fearful of being left alone she turned and looked up.

The girl was extinguishing the candles, one by one, her perfect body shimmering in the guttering candlelight. Karolin watched her progress towards the bed, amazed by her beauty, and gripped by awful intuition of loss. As the last candle expired, she glimpsed a faint silhouetted that evaporated in darkness, before the girl slipped beneath the sheets. Even as the girl came to her she could feel the tears begin to run down her cheek. The girl pulled her close, her firm body somehow soft now, tender in its embrace.

Karolin choked back a sob. The girl said nothing, but her lips found Karolin's and she kissed her gently, stroking her hand across her wet cheek. It was enough to unleash all the pent up emotions that were crowding in on Karolin. Her whole body began to shake and she sobbed uncontrollably. The girl pulled her closer, wrapping herself around Karolin and holding her until the emotion subsided.

When the crisis finally abated, Karolin, folded in the girl's arms, felt like a child being comforted by their mother. She knew she should pull away, attempt to explain her mad behaviour, but she realised she couldn't let go. Every gesture seemed so pregnant with meaning, so final. The girl waited, her hand gently caressing Karolin's back.

"...I'm sorry, you must think I'm insane.. I just don't know what to do."

"Whatever you want to."

"It was so intense, I've never felt like that, so close to anyone."

The girl said nothing, waiting for Karolin to continue.

"I know this is nothing to you, but I don't know how to go back... I don't think I want to. But I have no choice..."

The girl kissed her, not to comfort, but with passion. Her tongue working its way into Karolin's mouth. With no hesitation, Karolin kissed her back. The effect was uncanny, all the impossible questions dissolved in the face of a consuming need, not just for sex, but the connection it ignited between them both.

The girl's kisses traced a path to her breast, and Karolin found herself feeding her nipples to the girl's willing mouth. As she suckled each in turn with a new tenderness, Karolin realised that they were making love for the first time. This was different than before, and her heart felt full. A leg slipped between Karolin's, and the girl began to grind her sex against her thigh.

Karolin held her closer and found her own rhythm. Soon their tongues were once again entwined and they moaned into each other's mouths as they worked towards their bliss. It was so close, so intimate so perfect, that Karolin knew that they would climax together and they did.

It was impossible synchronicity, and yet it was real. They rode the orgasm through an unbroken kiss until, gasping for breath they fell apart, their legs still carelessly entwined. For a long moment, they lay side by side staring into the black infinity above them, communing in the silence broken only by the sound of their breathing. Karolin gave a faint laugh.

"What?"

"I don't even know your name"

"It's just a label imposed on you by someone else"

"But it's useful unless you're alone on a desert island"

"Maybe you are?"

Karolin felt the chill presence of her old life, the one she lived only a handful of hours ago, lurking in the shadows, and she fell silent.

"Everything is a choice." The girl's hand brushed her cheek and she kissed Karolin, silencing any response.

"Now go to sleep, its late" She drew Karolin close and within moments they were asleep.

Somewhere in the night Karolin awoke, momentarily disoriented until she heard the steady breathing of the girl, now faintly outlined by the approaching dawn. She watched her sleep, wondering at her tranquil beauty, and at the feelings she had so effortlessly conjured from her. She moved closer, laying her arm gently across her and spooning into her. The girl stirred but didn't wake, and with her face softly resting on her back, Karolin was once again deeply asleep.

Bright sunlight crept across the room. Half asleep, Karolin groaned at the unwelcome intrusion, reluctantly opening her eyes and sitting up. She felt groggy, drained by the physical and emotional journey as if she'd run a marathon. She wondered what the time was? There was no clock and her mobile was with her things in the other room. Then she realised the girl wasn't there.

She sat on the edge of the bed gathering the energy to stand up. She thought about calling out but remembered she had no name to call. If it wasn't for the surroundings she might almost have believed it was a dream. But the room was real enough, with its eclectic jumble of bricolage, which defying all her expectations, was clean and tidy after a random fashion. She could see there was taste here, even if it was expressed without a budget.

Standing up proved less of a challenge than she feared. She went to the door and pushed it open. The room beyond was transformed by sunlight into a bright, high ceilinged studio. The circle of candles reduced to pools of congealed wax punctuating the bare floorboards. Dozens of paintings leaned against the walls, and the once dead windows now blazed with autumn sun.

She walked into the studio luxuriating in the warm caress of sunlight over her body. Since she was naked, she felt she should call out, but in truth, she was strangely unconcerned.

"Hello?" Her voice echoed off the bare walls.

The girl had gone, probably to work at the cinema. With a pang of disappointment, she realised that she missed her. Perhaps this was her way of brushing her off, who knows, maybe she made a habit of seducing passing strangers. The thought turned disappointment to jealousy, and she knew she couldn't bear to go down that doom-laden rabbit hole. To distract herself, she padded over to the stacked paintings and began to sift through them. They were good, really good, the girl had talent.

'The girl!' There it was again. It was maddening not even to have something so slight as a name to hang onto. She wandered over to the easel, remembering the painting she'd seen last night - some other girl in the throes of passion. But it had gone. In its stead was a hastily executed brilliant study of a sleeping woman, languid in the aftermath of some untold pleasure.

Karolin looked at it mesmerised by the passionate brush strokes, at turn wild and heartbreakingly sensitive. And then she realised. It was her. She gasped in shock, her hand clamped to her mouth in a cartoon gesture over which she had no control. It wasn't the flattery of being the subject, but rather for the way the artist had seen her, not the brittle mask she wore, but something deep within her that she had never summoned to conscious thought.

Her eyes studied every detail trying to comprehend the insight in each line and fleck of paint, but there was only the whole, vibrant and living. It was as if her soul had been capture and laid naked before her.

She reached out to touch the canvas, then drew back fearful of tainting the perfection. Finally, she noticed a yellow Post-It stuck to the bottom corner of the canvas. Hardly trusting her eyes, she snatched it off and with a shaking hand, carried it to the window to read. There, standing naked in the fullness of the sun, she read,

'Choose to stay. Ingrid'

Karolin read and reread the note a dozen times until there was no more doubt she could summon. Then she looked up, and there laid out before her was the patchwork field of medieval rooftops of the old town. The Golem haunted alleys of the fog, now gilded with sunlight. Karolin, standing naked before its magical splendour felt newly born. She raised her arms, stretching wide above her head, opening herself to a passion she had so recently mourned. As the sun passed briefly behind a cloud, her reflection emerged from the window and she looked at herself transformed.