After the End Ch. 09

I placed my hands on his shoulders and ran my palms slowly down his arms. Then along the straight lines of his back, then the curve of his sides. I couldn't see his face, but his audible exhale sounded like a welcome.

Settling my hands on his hips while they kept rolling against Avery's cock, I bent my head to lay a soft kiss where Vik's shoulder met his neck, which earned another vocalized sigh. I lingered there, my lips gentle against that surprisingly tender joint, until my right hand reached around and turned his face toward me. The angle was tight, but Vik's mouth reached for mine eagerly. He let out a low, yearning sound and melted against my lips, like he'd been waiting years to kiss me. Which I guess he had.

His receptivity made my cock start aching. I pressed against his lower back, only a couple of inches away from Avery grinding inside him. I turned Vik to face forward again and roamed my hands over his front: chest, ribs, belly. Then I went for my targets: his right nipple and his dripping cock.

"Julian..." he moaned. My left forearm pulled him upright, tight to my chest, and my fingers teased his nipple full. He somehow managed to nestle into my embrace even while Avery fucked his ass.

"Can you give me some oil?" I asked Avery, holding out my right hand.

I watched his face while he poured a small amount into my palm. His features were guarded, but his eyes showed lust and defiance, so I swallowed the impulse to ask if he was ok. Instead, I started stroking Vik again, this time with a frictionless glide.

If I were alone with him, and he were riding my cock, I'd edge him until he couldn't take any more, then I'd come in his ass, and as soon as I recovered, I'd edge him again. Avery probably didn't have that kind of stamina, but he was obviously interested in the impending denial of our new partner, so I set a brisk pace up and down Vik's shaft. My fingers made sure to cup the extra-reactive curving edges of his glans on every stroke. My other hand kept teasing his nipple.

Vik threw his head back against my shoulder and pulsed in my fist. His fingers closed on my left forearm, not in an attempt to control my movement, but more as an anchor point. In response, Avery gripped Vik's hips again and sped up his thrusts.

"Tell me when you get close," I murmured from behind Vik's ear.

"I'm...pretty close...already," he stammered between strokes to his granite-hard organ.

I slowed my hand some, but I didn't let up on his nipple, pinched between thumb and knuckle. Avery definitely didn't let up on his ass. "Then tell me when you're only one stroke away," I commanded, low and provocative.

"Julian..." he breathed again. It was incredible to have his naked body surrendered to my arms, his cock straining in my hand, after all this time.

"Bet an orgasm would feel really good right now," I suggested cruelly. My strokes became lighter.

"Yeah..." His voice was drawn tight, like his balls where the back of my hand brushed them.

"Bet your cock's gonna be throbbing when I let go of it."

More agonized this time. "Yeah..."

I held his shaft with just my thumb at the back and the pads of two fingers at the front, gliding gently through the oil from base to frenulum. "But that's what you want, isn't it? You want me to stop, right when it's most frustrating. You want me to touch you when you can barely stand it, and not get any release."

"Yes --" he confessed again, his whole body tensed between pleasure and anguish. Avery was watching with blown pupils, and I was pretty sure he was on the edge too. His fingers dug into Vik's flesh with the force of his rocking hips.

"You can come when you're ready, Avery," I told him. I slid my fingers over Vik's tip a few more times.

"I'm -- one stroke --" Vik exclaimed brokenly.

I removed both my hands, and suddenly Avery was arching and crying out, emptying his balls into Vik's ass with wracking spasms.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck --" Vik cried, a death grip on my arm.

"Don't," I told him. I clenched my right hand painfully tight against his shoulder, giving him a life boat to ride out the crashing waves of need.

He made it, barely. By the time Avery's climax finished, Vik's was under control.

I put both arms across his torso and held him securely against my chest. "Good," I praised softly. "Very good."

His hand slid to mine, and he cycled through a few slow breaths in an obvious effort to calm himself.

"Ok?" I murmured beside his head after a minute.

He nodded mutely.

"Avery?" I checked. He was lying like a boneless fish beneath us, completely drained, but his wary gaze hovered where my skin contacted Vik's.

He didn't answer directly. "Am I still in charge?"

"What do you want?" I asked cautiously.

"Vik to suck you off."

I rested my chin on his shoulder. "You want to, Vik?"

"Please," he replied.

I wasn't going to turn it down. Between Avery's excitement and Vik's obedience, my cock was throbbing. Avery directed me to sit at the head of the bed, where Vik could stretch out beside him and reach me. I brushed my fingers through his close-cropped hair while he sucked me. There was a risk that might make Avery jealous, but he didn't seem to want to be shielded. And as long as Vik was taking my orders, I was responsible for his wellbeing too. He deserved some comfort after such a severe denial.

I let him draw the orgasm from me in a couple of minutes. Fuck, it was good to release after all the erotic tension. He cleaned me thoroughly, then lay his head against my thigh.

I kept my hand on his dark hair. "Thank you, Vik," I told him sincerely.

"You're welcome."

"Session's over, but you can stay until you're ready to leave."

He drew a deep breath, let it go, and didn't move away.

Avery did. "I'm gonna...wash up." He went to the washstand and scrubbed himself while I sat with Vik.

"How'd the delivery go last night?" I asked. It could be difficult to drop out of peak arousal without an orgasm. I figured a change in subject might help.

"A little rough," Vik answered from my lap. "Dilation was slow, and she was dangerously hypertensive at one point, but in the end she was able to deliver vaginally, and the baby's oxygenation was good. Mother was recovering well when I left this evening."

"Did Rowan assist?"

"You know Rowan -- she's only interested in high-risk cases. She hung around as long as there was a possibility of a caesarean, then she left it to me and Emma."

"Good thing we have you," I told him, happy that he sounded less stressed. "And Emma." She was the community's midwife and delivered most babies.

He reached for the towel and sat up. "Rowan will make an excellent surgeon. I only hope she comes back once she gets a taste of the specialty in Houston next year."

"She better," Avery commented, returning to the bed. I tried to catch his gaze, but he ignored me.

Vik gave him one of those smiles that was mostly expressed in the eyes. "I'll be heading out." He started dressing with his usual grace. "Thank you both for a wonderful evening."

"You'll come back?" Avery asked.

"Of course." He pulled his shirt on without buttoning it. "I'll see you soon."

We both told him goodnight, and chilled October air gusted into our quarters as the door shut behind him. I found my trunks and got under the covers. Avery did likewise and switched off the lamp, but he stayed on his side of the bed.

That session had taken a turn I hadn't anticipated, so I wasn't sure what kind of fallout to expect. I'd only been obeying orders, but that didn't mean he wouldn't be hurt. I couldn't judge his mood in the dark with no contact, and the distance felt accusatory, even more than the silence.

"How are you doing, babe?" I ventured.

His reply was on the edge of curt. "Could you for once not badger me about how I am? I'm fine. You'll know if I'm not."

"Ok." I couldn't tell if that was reassuring. It didn't bode well that he didn't want to touch me. Physical affection had always been the only reliable bridge between us. Without it, he felt as unreachable as a star, even when he was right next to me.

I waited, hope fading. He didn't say anything else. "Goodnight, then," I concluded sadly.

I heard him sigh, and then he was nestling close, pulling my arm around him so his back pressed my front. I rested my head gratefully against his curls.

"I don't want to talk about anything, but I'm alright, Julian. I promise."

"Ok," I said, meaning it this time. After our conversation this morning, I had to trust him. His heat signature against my body reset my limbic system.

It was quiet for a moment, then he asked, "You're ok, right?"

"I am now."

I followed the flow of his breaths until I fell asleep.

* * * * *

Avery:

A few days after our second meeting with Vik, Julian and I were outside by the fire pit closest to our quarters, seated on old quilts folded over hand-sawn tree trunk segments. We'd been hanging out with my friend Lamont and his partner Tara, and after they left, we'd decided to enjoy the clear night a while longer. Harvest season meant early mornings and long afternoons, even when we weren't frantically trying to save crops from wildfires. At least there hadn't been any new ones for a couple of days. I stared into the dancing flames and let my mind drift with the sparks flying toward the autumn constellations.

"I had an idea," Julian said after a while. We were joined at shoulders and knees, both because the evening was cool and only a few logs were burning, and because I simply liked being close to him.

"What's that?" I asked, languid from the refreshingly crisp weather and the brilliant tapestry of fire and his calm, steady presence.

"I was thinking that instead of having Vik over this time, you could visit him for an evening. Without me."

I was startled out of my lethargy. "What? Alone? Why? That isn't in the terms."

This was because I told him that damn fantasy, wasn't it. He was never going to let that go.

"The terms are always subject to renegotiation. We've had two successful sessions, and I believe all three of us would enjoy an ongoing relationship. You clearly have a very different dynamic with Vik than you have with me, and in my opinion, our threesomes would benefit from you and Vik having the chance to explore on your own."

I watched the endlessly evolving orange and yellow flames and tried to process Julian's idea.

"I also know that besides Vik, I'm the only man you've slept with," he added, "since you didn't discover that men were a possibility for you until we got together. I've always regretted that you didn't get to experiment more before settling down with me. This would be a safe laboratory."

Honestly, surprising as it was, my gut instinct was to agree. I'd assumed that marriage meant the same partner for the rest of my life, and I was fine with that, as long as it was Julian. Getting to sleep with Vik at all was just a bonus. But it was true that even when Julian gave me control during a session, I wasn't really in control. The power always originated from him. Which is what I wanted, in a sex situation involving him. But if he wasn't involved...yeah. It could be interesting.

It was also true that Julian was not only the first man I'd been with, but also the only person I'd ever really dated. I'd hooked up with lots of women, but they were never more than casual, temporary. I had no doubts about my choice of spouse. But there was something...exciting, about the prospect of being alone with Vik. No one else watching what I did or said or felt. Being able to talk to him, ask him things, and of course, play with his body. My crotch glowed faintly like the blazing wood just imagining it.

"It just seems like...kind of a big jump," I said aloud, "from us having a threesome to me literally cheating on you with him."

"It isn't cheating if we all agree to it in advance."

"Ok...but you know what I mean."

"Yeah, it is a jump, but are you interested in taking it? I mean I know you are in theory, but what are your actual concerns?"

I thought about it. "I guess...I would worry that you might think you're ok with it, but after it happened, you'd realize you weren't?" I paused again to consider. "And I don't know if I'd be ok with you being alone with him. Or anyone else."

It had been surreal, watching the man I loved, the man who was devoted to me, touch someone else's naked body. Even when I was the one who initiated it. Hot? Yes. But I hadn't expected it to come so naturally to him. He hadn't hesitated at all. He could read Vik just like he could read me, and he knew exactly how to make Vik desperate for him, how to make him feel safe. It was unnerving, that I wasn't special.

If I were in Vik's place, I surely would have fallen for someone who treated me so carefully, someone so confident and authoritative and sexy. As I had done, two years ago. So there was also that to worry about.

Julian had persuaded me to share at least some of my thoughts about our last session, because we couldn't sleep with Vik unless we could talk about it. I was fine, like I had told him. I definitely wanted to continue the arrangement. But if he was offering me this opportunity with Vik because he expected me to reciprocate, I wasn't going to be nearly as cavalier about it.

"I don't anticipate requesting to see him alone," Julian said. "Not for sex, anyway. Your relationship with him is different from mine with him, and it's something you haven't practiced before. I'm already experienced in that type of interaction; I wouldn't be gaining anything new."

"But that wouldn't be fair, would it? If I got to sleep with someone else, and you didn't?"

He shrugged against my shoulder. "Is it fair that I get to fuck you twice a week, and you only get to fuck me maybe once a month?"

I let my lungs empty slowly and watched the sparks disappearing into the black. I hated when he brought that up. Sex wasn't about who was fucking whom. Maybe I used to think so, before I was aware of my hypocritical sexism, but I knew better now. Julian did too, but he still worried his trauma was depriving me.

"I don't want you to do this because you're trying to compensate for something that isn't your fault," I told him. "And isn't even a fault. No one has to want anal sex."

"I know. I'm just saying that there are plenty of factors about our partnership that aren't equal. And if you spent time with Vik, I wouldn't feel it was unfair."

"What if you did afterward?"

It was his turn to sigh. "I don't think that's likely. I've seen you do quite a lot with him, and it hasn't concerned me. I like that you enjoy him. I trust you will both keep the relationship beneath the umbrella of our marriage."

"I guess," I conceded. I still didn't fully understand why it didn't bother him.

"I only want you to agree if you're at least ninety-five percent sure it's not going to upset you. But for my part, I'm ninety-five percent sure it's not going to upset me. And I won't turn around and expect repayment. If I were ever to be alone with someone besides you, that would be a separate agreement."

I listened to the wood crackling for a moment. "Let me think about it?"

"Of course. There's no pressure."

I did think about it that night, and the next day, and I decided to accept Julian's offer. I couldn't see an angle where it would hurt me, and he insisted it wouldn't hurt him. He talked it over with Vik, who also agreed. So the next evening we were both available, I found myself waiting nervously in my room for him to pick me up, like we were an old-fashioned dating couple.

He could never predict when he'd finish seeing patients for the night, so it made the most sense for him to come find me when he was free. Even though he and Dr. Atherton still rotated primary responsibility for the medical center, in practice most days they were both needed. Fort Laurel was only home to a few thousand people, but that was too many for any one provider.

Julian kept me occupied with casual conversation, or tried to, until Vik knocked on the door.

"It's open," Julian called, and we got to our feet while Vik met us inside.

Julian greeted him with perfect ease. "We've discussed this separately, but per our agreement, I'd like to hear everyone give consent for sexual contact today between you two. You have mine."

I searched his face, my favorite face in the world, but he seemed completely sincere. "You're sure this is ok?" I was the one to ask this time.

He kissed me, sweet and familiar. "I'm sure."

"Then yes for me," I said, nerves flaring again. This was really about to happen. I hadn't had sex alone with anyone else since that disastrous time with Rowan. Absolute most horrific mistake of my life, yet in the moment, it had been explosively hot.

"Yes for me," Vik confirmed in his perennially gentle way.

Julian turned to me with a smile. "Have a great time, babe. I'll probably be at Maurice's for a while; possibly at the command center, if there's news from the co-op. Come find me anytime if you need to. Otherwise, I'll see you back here by midnight."

That was our agreed-upon curfew for my "date." I nodded, gave him a hug, and left with Vik. We walked together through the woodsmoke-tinged evening to his room, which was in a similar block of living spaces on the other side of the main hall.

His quarters were the same size as ours, but the way he had arranged his furniture and belongings made it look completely different. My style was messy; Julian's was military. Vik's was...tasteful. As tasteful as it was possible to be in a storm-swept rural area in these days of scarcity, I supposed. His bed stood against the side wall with matching square cabinets on either side, each bearing a kerosene lamp, one of which he lit. An artistically patterned quilt covered the bed, with a couple of cozy woolen blankets draped at the foot and on the armchair by the window. A potted fern was thriving beside the chair, a ceramic vase by the bed held a collection of dried leaves and flowers, and he even had a few small framed paintings on the wall.

"Make yourself at home," Vik offered with his trademark warm, open manner. We both left our shoes and jackets by the door, and I sat on the edge of the bed.

I surveyed his space again. "It looks like a non-traumatized, mature adult lives here," I joked. "Now I'm embarrassed you've seen the inside of my place. We should be meeting here instead."

Vik sat beside me, companionable but not overly close. "Oh, I've had my share of trauma. No one suffers or dies here except on my watch. But yes, all my immediate family are alive and well, I've never fled two thousand miles from home, and since I don't have a long-term partner, I guess that gives me time to furnish my home, such as it is."

There was a sort of awkward silence. The terms of this meeting were the same as when Julian was with us, except his authority passed to me. Vik would do whatever I instructed, and he would allow me to do anything I wanted. The only thing I couldn't control was Vik's orgasm -- Julian had already decreed that under no circumstances was he allowed one tonight. I thought he might have done that for my benefit; he knew that's what I wanted, and he suspected I might cave, whereas his word was law.

Julian was so good at getting from small talk to mind-blowing sex. I wasn't sure where to start. Vik was also four years older than me and a lot more knowledgeable, so I didn't have the same presence with him that Julian had with me.

He offered a lifeline. "I'd love to do whatever you want tonight, Avery, but I was also hoping we'd get to talk some. We've been in this community our whole lives, but there's a lot I don't know about you, and I'm sure there's plenty you don't know about me. You can feel free to ask about anything you'd like."