After the End Ch. 09

"Wait -- please stay," he requested, more direct than anything I'd heard since I arrived.

"Ok." I didn't mind lying with him for a while. He was the one who'd just suffered intensely for me, after all. I was totally drained, but he was tense beneath me, still in the grip of erotic suspense he wasn't allowed to release. I pulled myself together so I could take care of him.

I nestled my face at his neck, and my own arms drew in to clasp his shoulders. "You were amazing," I told him, trying to be soothing the way Julian would be. "Thank you."

Vik just took a breath and let it out unsteadily.

"It's the hardest part, I know," I said quietly, almost a whisper. "When it ends. And you're left as frustrated as ever."

He nodded silently against my head. His cock was still solid as granite under my stomach. Mine was softening and pulling out of him, but he didn't seem to care.

"It's incredibly hot that you're staying hard for me, after everything you let me do," I said sincerely, hoping he would be reassured that he'd achieved his goal of pleasing me. "I'm gonna get off on it a million times."

He relaxed marginally. "Yeah?"

"Definitely."

I floated in my afterglow, deciding not to worry that I was in the arms of a man who wasn't my husband. Julian had given me full autonomy tonight. And Vik had sacrificed so much; I wasn't going to take this from him.

His chest rose and fell rhythmically beneath my own. "I wish you could stay all night," he whispered eventually.

That raised an alarm somewhere in my head, but I didn't move.

"Not -- I didn't mean --" He took a breath and tried again. "I wouldn't do anything illicit with you. I just...get lonely."

I nodded. I could imagine how difficult it would be to have an extremely intimate experience like this, then go to bed alone. "Don't you want me to leave, though, so you can get off?"

His sigh said as much as his words. "It's not the same."

I lifted my head to check the small clock next to the lamp. "I have about half an hour. Can we clean up, and then I'll stay until midnight?"

He hesitated. "Can we stay...like this? After?"

"Sure, if that's what you need."

He still didn't seem to want to let go, but he agreed. Soon we were stretched out again on his nice bedspread, only half dressed. I didn't put all my weight on him, but enough that he could refold his arms around my back. One of his woven blankets was pulled up to our waists, warding against the late evening chill.

Vik's long exhale sounded relieved once I was skin-to-skin with him again. I figured I understood; I craved this daily, and when I'd lost it, after Julian broke up with me, it had been absolute torture.

"How come you don't have a boyfriend?" I asked. As soon as the question left my mouth, I worried it was rude, but he didn't seem upset. Any more so than he already was by being worked into a frenzy, fucked without release, and then abandoned in the middle of the night.

He shrugged. "I don't know. There aren't that many to choose from in the first place. And fewer who want...what I want. Or who can handle it with any skill." There was a beat of silence, and I figured he was referring to the power exchange dynamic. "Plus I don't have much time. I'm at the medical center day and night. Most partners need more than that." Another sigh. "But I'm sure some of it's me."

"What happened with Luis?" I remembered Vik had dated him a couple of years ago, and they'd seemed pretty into each other. "If you want to tell me, I mean."

"He got tired of me having to cancel most of our plans, and of me not wanting to initiate in bed. I got tired of arguing and of trying to explain what made me happy." He shrugged again. "I'm simplifying, but that's the gist."

"I'm sorry." I was feeling guilty, like I was depriving him of something by returning to my own partner. "Julian and I really like you. I know it's not a lot, but you can probably hang out with us for quite a while."

"I appreciate that," he said, but his tone was wistful.

"I can't believe someone wouldn't want to come home to this every night," I pressed.

"You're very sweet." He still sounded sad though.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

He stroked my back. "This is helping."

"Ok." At least he'd returned to flaccid. I always felt calmer after a denial once I'd lost my erection, painful as that could be sometimes. Or impossible, if Julian was bent on teasing me all day or night.

"Thank you for coming over, Avery," Vik told me. "I'd really love to do this again. I hope I haven't put you off; I'm not always so clingy."

"It's ok if you are. God knows Julian's dealt with me often enough. I'll have to talk to him, but if he agrees, I'll definitely be over again."

I left shortly before midnight with a kiss and a hug. Julian was under the covers with the light off when I got home, so I climbed in beside him. It was already difficult to believe I'd been in someone else's bed just a few minutes ago.

"You have fun?" Julian asked, halfway to unconscious.

"So much. Brilliant idea."

"I'm glad."

I curled into position against his side, my head on his chest, where I could listen to the ceaseless rhythm of his heartbeat, the only lullaby I ever needed. My fingers found his necklace -- the constant, tangible reminder that no matter what we did with Vik, I was his one and only.

"Love you, babe," I murmured.

His reply was drowsy and amused. "Must have been a really good night, if you're calling me 'babe.'"

I snuggled tighter against him. "It was. But I always want to come home to you."

He kissed my head and revived our old ritual. "Go to sleep, Avery. I'll still be here. Always"

So I did.