All Comments on 'After the Fall Ch. 07'

Another episode of porn that doesn't advance the story. Although, I don't think you have been telling a story, honestly. We just have repeats of the same situation over and over again. Michael acts like a spoiled bully, but gets everything he wants. The chapters don't build on one another. Someone could jump in at Chapter 5 and know exactly what the premise is because neither character has shown the slightest growth.

Your story was over in Chapter 1. Boy wants girl. Boy got girl. You never made him work for anything. And why should he? Every time he's remotely unhappy, you just have him throw her down and fuck her, and everything is all okay again. Rinse, repeat. If you wanted a story, you should have had her resist him until he could prove he can provide what he promised, have some give and take. But no, she immediately capitulates to everything he asks for. You could have written The End right then.

And you've written her to be so weak that being thrown down and fucked, no matter how justified or angry she was, all goes away as soon as he gets his dick in her. Your excuse is she likes the sex. Fine, she likes the sex. It shouldn't change her fundamental goals. What has Michael actually shown her he can do in the weeks he's kept her as his sex toy? Nothing. What has Michael done strictly for her without benefit to him? Nothing.

The thousands of words of spanking in the last two chapters are humdrum and monotonous. Your character development is non existent. Not only have neither of them grown in over a hundred thousand words, neither of them have any reason to. Taken as separate episodes of porn, each chapter can stand on its own.

You are proud of writing him as an ass, and you've done a spectacular job of that, so you should be. But he's also written as clueless, with no reason to learn anything. And we're supposed to believe he's capable and intelligent enough to run an empire? He couldn't stand up to Daddy. You've shown nothing redeemable about him. No one wants to see her choose him when he's such a dick, yet you've given him no incentive to change. He already has the girl and can make her accept whatever he does, as shown in every chapter.

There's a difference between slow burn and flat. This, as a story, is flat.

Don't bother with a reply to this. I wanted to let you know why I am disappointed there's not more of a story here. I thought there was potential, but plan to stop reading now. I will not be returning to see a response.

A bit of a wait for this chapter but was defiantly worth it. Really excited to see what happens in the next, in terms of them going to the centre and all. Loved the whole edging process and interested in knowing how many spanks she ended up getting. P.S I am enjoying the character development. A lot of the times in NC the guy makes a complete 360 in his attitudes and behaviour but I like how Michael is (what I think is a moderate pace) understanding that he needs to not be so pushy and controlling. P.S.S love the way he calls her Kitten.

Another great chapter, I've been looking forward to it and kept checking your page, it is great to see it. You are developing the world and the characters quite nicely, although I still think Michael is a stupid jerk who needs to realize that he cannot hope to build a proper relationship without a major reset, and I still think Mariah should not be giving him an inch until he retracts the blackmail and gives her full freedom, including a commitment to bettering the life of the community without holding her hostage. I do not see where she could be getting even hints of attraction and affection when he is so unfair, including punishing her for "teasing", when he is a total tease himself. In my view, he totally oversteps the limits of keeping the requirement of submisiveness to their sex life if he punishes her with spanking for things that a free person should be able to do without fear for physical suffering. I just don't get the whole notion of punishment when it comes to a relationship between grownups, to me the notion of punishment in such relationships smacks of infantilization at best and tyranny at worst. I guess I'm really not into BDSM :D. The foreshadowing of how Mariah will be treated when she goes with him to mysogynist central is truly ominous. Michael is twice the idiot we know him to be if he hopes to get away with groping her in front of all those creepy dudes "as a cover" and not have her feel morally mistreated just because he says he loves her - she cannot possibly believe he loves her, you don't treat someone you love the way he is treating her!!! I am still waiting for him to redeem himself, but so far it has not happened, please don't let her bend to his will... Can't wait for the next chapter!!!

I know you said that I needn't reply, but as you clearly know, I do respond to comments. I appreciate the time people take to leave them. You put a lot of time and thought and feeling into your comment, and it deserves my attention. I have faith that you'll be back to read it. ;)

The only thing I was unclear about was the "empire" you mentioned. I'm not sure what you're interpreting as an empire, but it was not my intent to include one. The rest of your opinion is quite clear. I'm familiar by now with your feelings about the characters and the plot, and I gather that this chapter was more of the same for you.

It's a shame that you dislike the story. Reading seven lengthy chapters is a lot of time to invest in something you don't like. As I've suggested before, there are many, many other stories here, and I'm sure you can find one to your liking. You've mentioned before that you don't intend to keep reading. If you continue to read, I'm afraid you will continue to be disappointed. I don't want to keep disappointing you.

I hope you find the stories out there that are right for you.

Sorry for the wait! I got stuck early on in the chapter and it took me a little while to figure out how to get where I needed to go. This was a transition chapter in some ways, since the story's moving beyond the confines of the compound and the dynamic of the relationship is changing.

I'm glad you appreciate the pace of character development. I know it has been frustrating at times, but the sudden 360 you mention is exactly what I wanted to avoid here. This isn't that type of story.

The question about the total number of spanks surprised me, but it's interesting. She got the 34, of course, but I hadn't counted how many extras when I thought it out. Replaying it as I saw it in my mind, I'd say between 15 and 20. If this sounds excessive, it's because I find the numbers of spanks in most stories tend to run quite low to get the desired effect. It would be different, of course, if the spanks were particularly painful, but Michael isn't trying to inflict pain.

I'm enjoying his use of "kitten," too, and I wasn't sure I would. I think it's grown on me.

Welcome back! As always, I'm torn between being thrilled to see you're back and sorry that I've been torturing you again with the lead characters' horrible relationship skills.

Writing Maria is interesting for me because she does not do what I would do. It's a challenge to figure out how to keep her true to character and to motivation, yet still keep her within the arc of the story. A friend of mine pointed out some of the things I had in common with Maria, and I was rather taken aback. There are things I have in common with her, but we're so fundamentally different that I can't imagine myself in her place. If Maria were like me, this would have been a very different and much shorter story. She would have just taken over the compound. The resources would have been shared, Michael would have been relegated to a normal house, and no mysteries would likely have been discovered. It wouldn't be a great story.

I realize that the Dominant/submissive dynamic just does not work for many people. I imagine you've noticed this, but except for the time Michael totally lost his cool and went Neanderthal when Maria nearly got kidnapped, all of the "punishments" have largely been excuses for a particular type of play, which they both enjoy. She doesn't enjoy it all the time, but that's also part of what she finds exciting about it.

I shouldn't downplay the control-freak angle, because that is definitely there, as are double standards. Ideally, the "double standards" aren't inequality, but a reflection of different needs and preferences. Maria discovered that in Chapter 6 when she declares that Michael's the one who deserves the spanking, then realizes she has zero interest in spanking him when he offers to let her. Her lack of interest isn't because she sees him as superior. (She doesn't!) It's just not what she wants. So, naturally, Michael got all smug and smirky about it when she realized her dilemma. Still, if you don't enjoy that sort of thing, you just don't.

The trip to the Center is going to be interesting. I think Michael's got either a lot of guts or a lot of nerve to take her there at all. (Is he crazy?) While I know how I -think- it will play out, it has the potential to surprise me. Sometimes as i write these things, they take turns in unexpected directions. So, we'll both be waiting to see what happens!

Thanks for continuing to read!

I read a few of the other comments before posting this and I’m at a bit of a loss over some of them. I felt the content of this chapter was good and did progress both ashtray’s and Mariah’s relationship and the story.

Story-wise the idiot in the cellar is gone and in a way that can lead to future content. Sarah is now all in, again more future content. We have a understanding of Elite’s, their society, the Center, and an immediate path for new content regarding that arc.

Relationship-wise ashtray is doing better. Yes he is still an awkward boy who doesn’t understand love. But he’s trying. I think he honestly is, and he has matured to rationalization in this chapter which is a decent mental improvement. It’s not right but it is going in the right direction. In his conversation with Mariah about whether she enjoyed the submissive role during sex, it seemed to me that he was rationalizing her enjoyment of the sexual act to be the same as her acknowledging his love for her. He needs to understand that sex, even mind blowing, physically draining, mentally exhausting, D/S sex where trust, respect, and care are important, does not equate to love. I wish she would firmly set him straight on this. Then again this is a critical arc and it will resolve itself, one way or another, in a future chapter.

Side thought, what would ashtray have done if she answered with a simple no. Or not just no but, “You asked for honesty, my answer is no. But to ensure your continued commitment to making the lives of others better, I will continue to faithfully serve your needs as you require.” You don’t need to answer me, but how ashtray responded in your head should tell you how much more ashtray needs to mature to be worthy of Mariah’s love. In my head he is either curled up in the fetal position under his desk with Paula trying to coax him out with treats from Marcus, or trying to figure out how to count to 1,000,000 spankings without losing track of the numbers in his head. I should also let you know that I was pleased with Mariah’s original answer.

I look forward to the trip to the Center and a few days of education and discovery for both your characters and your readers about that part of the outside world. Of course I have lots of thoughts about this and how it’s going to play out...but that’s what you do well, you keep me waiting for the next installment while I ponder my own ideas and outcomes.

Careful of creating too many arcs especially if they don’t intersect over time. The story will become disjointed if the readers have to track to many disparate people and events. And finally, do you know you called Mariah, Maria in one of your responses?

Thank you again for taking the time and effort to create all of this and for freely sharing it with us.

So glad you're back! I feel like I may have tortured you with ashtray a smidgen less than usual with this chapter.

I should know by now not to try to drink anything when I read your comments, because I'm sure to choke on whatever I'm drinking. When I finished inhaling my Sprite, I laughed until I was choking again about Michael "curled up in the fetal position under his desk with Paula trying to coax him out with treats from Marcus, or trying to figure out how to count to 1,000,000 spankings without losing track of the numbers in his head." I'm going to go back and read that whenever I get mad at him, which is fairly frequently.

I got a bit of a chuckle over the idiot in the cellar, too. That's the problem with catching idiots - what do you do with them once you've caught them?

I have noticed my tendency to type "Maria" instead of "Mariah" when I'm tired, but I'm rather appalled that I did it here.

Some clever person whose name I can't recall said that once a story is published, it no longer belongs to the author anymore. I should hasten to add, before any authors reading this choke on their drinks, that this is not an endorsement of plagiarism. The unnamed clever person meant that it is for the readers to interpret the story. I think that's especially true of the characters. I can explain my intentions, but what they characters do in each person's head is beyond my jurisdiction.

I've mentioned before that both Michael and Mariah are flawed, but her flaws don't show as much because they aren't the type of flaws that are imposed on other people. Sometimes, the reason she doesn't do something or say something that seems like the appropriate response, is because of one or more of those flaws. More hints of those flaws have started creep in, particularly in Mariah's conversations with Sarah. Mariah doesn't understand her own feelings right now, nor does she want to.

While the D/s elements are strong, it is not my intention to portray a true D/s relationship. For one thing a power exchange requires true consent. Coerced consent is a power grab and therefore lacks true submission. For Michael and Mariah, the D/s flavor is just that - a flavor. His dominant streak in the bedroom is not the same as his domineering behavior outside of the bedroom. Mariah's sexually submissive tendencies are restricted to sex. My intention was to echo, but not to reflect.

I am keenly aware of the risk of multiple story arcs, and I have plenty of jitters about making it work. I can only do my best. I'm not inventing new arcs. These were all in my original concept, and they all originate in their most basic identification in chapters 1 and 2. (The major ones, anyway - I don't count minor character arcs in that.) All major arcs will intersect, but the concern remains. Still, I believe I can do it. We'll see!

I'm glad you are continuing to enjoy this story, and you're very welcome for whatever enjoyment it brings.

Thanks for this chapter, I’m enjoying the story and character development and the scene at the end was pretty hot! I’m looking forward to what happens at the Center and im a fan of the whole reluctance thing so hoping that they can do some dirty stuff there that Mariah usually wouldn’t agree to without the need for acting the part but then she actually loves it (enough to want it in the bedroom at home).

To the people giving Michael a hard time, I think he’s doing pretty well considering his upbringing, and I do love a flawed character who can develop. Plus I love a bit of a bad boy, he’s the most tentative and willing to change “bad boy” I’ve encountered on this site.

Please keep going, I’m enjoying this story a lot

I'm glad you're enjoying it! I'm excited to have reached the point in the story line where some more of the external forces come into play. I'm writing the chapter with the trips to The Center now, and it's challenging to balance the opportunities for sexual exploration without harming the progress Michael's made with Mariah.

I'm glad you're finding things to like in Michael. It's been difficult bringing those qualities out in him since he behaved so badly with the tracking device and the way he acted afterward. He drives me nuts to write because he keeps doing "Michael stuff" that interferes with the good things I want him to do. Those good qualities are there, though. I'd hoped a bit of that would come through in his interactions with Henry.

I think it may be hard for a lot of readers to forgive Michael for what he's already done, and that's okay, too. He's meant to be a complicated and flawed character. I'm glad to see a range of reactions to him. I did want him to be more real than the typical "bad boy." I wanted him to be more like the real bad boys I've known, and they've always been shaped by a deep capacity and inclination toward good things, bounded and constrained by the way they were shaped growing up. That's not meant as an excuse for Michael or anyone else, but an explanation of how I see Michael. I'm pleased that he's complex enough for different people to see different things in him.

Thanks for your encouragement!

Loving where this is going but, since she has on more than one occasion expressed her dislike or perhaps disinterest in people watching them, will she be ok at the center? This does not mean I don’t want to read about some new plays whist there (more edging please) I’m just worried that he could end up pushing her a little to far under the guise of “this is how people treat their girls here” when he has stated that’s not how he sees her.

I love it that you're concerned about Mariah. It makes me feel like I've written a relatable character. You're quite correct that she does not want to be watched. The Center is absolutely loaded with opportunities for Michael to mess up, especially with pushing her too far. As I'm sure you've noticed, he has a problem with that. This will be a critical test for him. Don't forget, though, that she's tough. I'm not going to spoil the chapter for you, but I promise that I'm giving the issues you mention a lot of consideration.

I'm glad you're enjoying the edging. It doesn't seem to be one of the most popular things about the story, so it's good to hear that someone likes it! ;-) It's been tricky to write that part for the same reason you raise regarding The Center, which is that Michael has a tendency to push too far. I could just write it so that he doesn't do that, but then he wouldn't be Michael.

This chapter took a while, but I’d say it was worth it. I can’t help but think that if Michael just left Mariah to think for a couple (or four) hours, Mariah would’ve come to the conclusion that she enjoys this kind of relationship faster. But Michael, being who he is, cannot even do that, even if he realizes that he should. Mariah is unable to admit the truth to herself. Michael is unable to act appropriately on the truth he accepts. That’s their immaturity showing. Makes me want to know what will fast track their relationship maturity. Please let Chapter 8 come faster than Chapter 7 (pun intended).

You mention that you are comparing the stars you get in each installment to each other. Keep in mind that, on literotica, if people don't like your series, some of them stop reading and commenting. So later installments get higher ratings. The last installments of a series also tend to drop off in rating, I guess many literotica readers don't like denouements.

I'm happy to hear you enjoyed Chapter 7. Sorry for the delay. Chapter 7 presented some unique difficulties due to some transitions that occur, and I got stuck a number of times. I had to rewrite large parts of it to get it right. (And then there's that pesky day job.) I'm working on Chapter 8 now, and don't expect it to take as long.

You've pretty well summed up the issues Michael and Mariah have. Things are moving slowiy in reader time, but back in the story, it's only been a few weeks. He's come to the realization that he has to give her some space, and that's a pretty big step forward, considering where how he started out, keeping her with him at all times. Mariah's habit of refusing to talk about things isn't helping, but having time to herself will help her get her thoughts in order and that will make her more willing to talk. Neither one of them really knows what they're doing when it comes to relationships, but they are making progress!

That's great advice that I wish I better knew how to implement. I'm not sure how much to "discount" ratings to account for those variables. Maybe all I can do is be aware that these factors come into play. Thanks for pointing it out.

(Wouldn't Star Calibration would be a fantastic album name?)

I’d be interested in hearing a story about Ezra & Sarah’s relationship during this story, seems like a great dynamic

I've really started enjoying Ezra and Sarah's dynamic, too. They're both very likable. I don't think I'm going to be able to do them justice within this story. I've got so many story arcs to connect that I've got to keep focused on Mariah and Michael. I don't care for spin-off series, but I'm considering doing a stand-alone story about Ezra and Sarah once I've finished this series. It would be nice to explore what goes on between them that we don't see from our point of view in this story.

A few hours ago I sat down with less than pure intentions for wasting some time during quarantine, however I quickly found myself completely enraptured with the world building and character development in this story. I read the entire series in one sitting. I found I was genuinely invested in this narrative and it's characters. I teared up when Sarah was rescued, I reveled in the stubborn rebellion of Mariah, I was disappointed to find out that I have to wait for part 8. You got me, I am hooked. You have done an excellent job with this story. I genuinely mean that.

Now for the criticism. I find Micheal to be rather unlikable and I don't think that is the intention here. I could be completely off base, but his character seems that its supposed to be the fatally flawed protagonist with a compelling redemption arc. His behavior doesn't feel like it is actually explained by the information available to the reader. Nor does it seem very consistent. He originally comes across as very obtuse, and self involved. Not quite aware of the fact that other people have feelings and agency. Which is fine as a trait/flaw, however his epiphany after Mariah's monologue feels almost forced as a way to progress the narrative. It doesn't come across as a genuinely plausible reaction from him, it was too easy. I also find Mariah to be inconsistent. Her past and inner monologue seem to suggest that of a strong willed survivor struggling with compromising herself for the greater good, and maybe liking it. That is such a fun concept to play with and I applaud you for taking it on. For the most you have done a great job. For the most part I think its the pacing that pulls the reader out of this concept. The first couple installments build into this crisis of self, you can almost feel her falling apart at the seems trying not to lose her sense of self in her circumstances. However the pacing fell apart and the momentum was kind of lost during their terrible week together. She kept pulling away and falling into this crisis and he kept escalating and dehumanizing himself to her. It suggested a much bigger crescendo than what was delivered.

Now that I have typed all of that out I feel like an asshole. I really do like this story. The world is very intriguing and I am so excited to read more. You have a talent for world building, and spinning a compelling story. I have criticized your characters but that is just a small piece of something great that you have created. I can picture the compound when I read. I keeping coming up with questions about the world because I want to know more about it. I can't wait to read about the Elites and their psuedo-society. Keep up the amazing work, Thank you for putting it out here for free.

Also sorry about the essay.

This story is so well written. It’s always such a pleasure when I stumble upon writing with such great character development, plot and of course steamy sex scenes. And wow I really appreciate the length of this chapter! I can see why it took longer to write. It is very well done and I’m so looking forward to reading more. Also, echoing another comments, I would love to read something following up on Ezra and Sarah!

Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments, and the high praise. I love long comments, so don't apologize for them! You've given me everything I'd hope to get from a comment: What you enjoyed, what could use improvement, how it affected you, and what you're interested in hearing more about.

I genuinely appreciate constructive criticism, and I think you have some pretty good points about Michael and Mariah. One thing I've struggled with is the balance between moving the plot forward, and having the characters develop realistically, which would require a slow progression. It's interesting to hear your take on it, because I think most of the comments I've received to date have been from people reading the story as it is published, so for them, the intervals between installments stretch out the feeling of time in a way that wouldn't be experienced reading it all at once.

I think you're right that Michael lurched forward in his development after Mariah's monologue, and thinking about your comment has given me some ideas for going forward. I'm finding it difficult to bring him along more naturally because it requires a major shift in his perspective more than it does his habits. I can see how I didn't justify that major shift well enough. There are some reasons behind Mariah's inner conflict that I am having a bit of difficulty bringing to the surface. Once I find a way to manage it, I hope it will help with the inconsistency there.

As far as the questions that you keep thinking up about the AtF world, let me know! If you use the feedback tab (or just click on my author name in my profile) it will allow you to send something directly to my email. I can't just post it here because of the spam potential. It will come through as anonymous, but if you include an email address in the text of the email, I can answer questions. There's a really good chance that some questions will give me new ideas, so I have a bit of an ulterior motive. ;)

Thank you again for your comments. I'm so happy you're enjoying the story so much. New chapters come out every three weeks, on average.

Thank you so much! It's very rewarding to know people are enjoying it. I'm always a little unsure about sex scenes, so it's great to know if they're well received. Of course, the balance of plot and sex is something I worry over, too. I want to keep the action of the story moving, but this is erotica, after all.

I figured out fairly early on that chapters on Lit are nothing like chapters in a book. Whenever possible, they need to offer completion of at least a minor arc in the story or get to a place that gives the reader a partial sense of completion. If you're reading a book, you can just turn the page. Here, you're waiting three weeks. I know my chapters are too long for some people as a result. I'm very glad that the length is a positive thing for you. It does take a while to write them, though. To give you an idea, Chapter 7 was 43 pages long in MS Word with 1.15 spacing and 11 point font. So, when it takes a while for me to get a story out, that's why. I'm glad the wait was worth it.

I can see why people like Ezra and Sarah so much. Sarah's brought out a lot in Ezra's character that I hadn't anticipated. I didn't know he was going to start telling funny stories, for example. That didn't show up until she came along. Sarah's a character that deserves more depth that I can afford her in a story focused on another set of characters. I'm contemplating writing a stand-alone story (no chapters) for Ezra and Sarah when I finish After the Fall.

Great story. Do you have some type of update schedule???

It's good to hear you're enjoying the story and looking for more! I don't have an update schedule, but three weeks between chapters seems to be the average. I'm releasing chapters as soon as they're written, so the time between chapters is a function of how long they take to write. That's affected by my offline life, of course, particularly work. I do update my profile when I'm getting close to submitting a new one. If you'd like an e-mail notification when a new chapter is posted, I'll be happy to do that. You can use the feedback option just under the stars for votes to send me a message. The message will be anonymous, so be sure to include your email in the message. You can also get to the feedback portal by going to my profile and clicking on my username.

There's a lot going on in Chapter 8. The earliest I expect to submit it is August 16, but it may be closer to August 23. Once I submit it, it can take anywhere from a couple of days to a week to show up on the site.

Take your wanna-be,sad, imitation of a Dom and his weak-willed sex toy happy to service his dick to the BDSM section.

I'm not sure your post amounts a comment so much as an attempt at derogation, but I'm going to address it seriously because the difference between BDSM and non-consent, dubious consent or reluctance is an important one. BDSM requires full consent. Not coerced consent, as is the case with this story. Not questionable consent. No story that features consent that is at all questionable belongs in the BDSM category. Perhaps you jumped in at Chapter 7 without knowing the rest of the story, but it's clearly established in Chapter 1 that Michael coerced Mariah's sexual submission.

Not all dominant or submissive dynamics are truly BDSM. Michael's and Mariah's dynamic is not. Michael has a taste for dominance and a little light bondage. Mariah enjoys it. She's also agreed to sexual submission under the terms of their agreement. That's as far as the similarity to BDSM goes. You may not be familiar enough with the BDSM genre to recognize that there are important and non-negotiable BDSM elements that this story doesn't have, starting with full and unequivocal consent.

Apart from the fact that this is not a BDSM story, I think it's important to remember the importance of keeping everything involving non-consent and dubious consent in the Non-consent/Reluctance category. Everyone should know the statistics of real-world, non-fantasy rape by now. That's not what the stories here are about - at least not for the most part - but nobody who has had such an experience or is sensitive to that topic should be subjected to the risk of running into it in another category. I will not risk doing that to someone.

If it's important to you for one of the characters in a story to resist sex, I suggest that you go to Literotica's story search page and type in the word "rape." That should get you results that are more in line with what you are looking for.

This story gets me in my feels (lol) and gets me off at the same time. I love the dynamic and am soooo excited for chapter 8. But don’t feel bad for taking more time than expected, it just leads to better chapters! I really admire your dedication and you can really tell that you’re passionate about writing.

I read your comment several times trying to figure out where you were really coming from. My overall impression is that your comment has very little to do with this story. It's clear that you've read the comments on the story, but I'm not sure you've actually read the story, because your comment seems inconsistent with it. Michael is not "paying for sex" with Mariah. There aren't "things" he's "promised her," at least not in the sense that you seem to mean them.

I'm also perplexed by your all-caps "shame on you," given that you have a story in this category that is straight-up rape. I read it when you posted it a few months ago and enjoyed it, but I do find it hard to reconcile with this comment.

If I take your comments at face value, you seem to be complaining that Michael is and has been raping Mariah, yet also complaining that it wasn't actually rape and that Mariah is a "whore."

You suggested I check the definition of "coercion." I'm pretty familiar with the term, but I looked it up anyway. Merriam Webster's definition of "coerce" is "to compel to an act or choice." There are various ways in which that can be accomplished; threat of violence is only one such way. In Mariah's case, Michael offered assistance that could make a tremendous difference for people in her town and even save lives. That's not something she was willing to walk away from. I don't think that makes her a whore by anyone's definition.

What Michael did was utterly unethical, but it wasn't rape by any legal definition I'm aware of in the U.S. because his coercion didn't involve force or the threat of force. Mariah had the ability to walk away from it. Morally, I think it's open for debate, but most people would have a hard time saying something is rape if both parties agree to it of their own free will, even if one of those parties isn't playing fair.

If you had read the story, I think you'd realize that their relationship has progressed well beyond that and that the dynamic has changed since the initial coercion, so to say she's being raped every time they have sex really doesn't fit the story at all.

I've never said that everything was okay because Mariah enjoyed the sex. Michael's pressure on Mariah to obtain sex was unethical by just about anyone's standards. That doesn't mean she has to hate every minute of it. I said she enjoyed the sex in response to a reader who complained that Mariah became a "mindless bimbo" whenever Michael touches her. My response was "I would like to be clear that neither Mariah nor any real woman is a mindless bimbo because she enjoys sex. That's true regardless of the circumstances. Mariah does not view sex as a purity issue. Her reluctance does not stem from a need to prove her 'virtue' by resisting." I stand by that statement, and I'll reiterate it here. Nobody should be shamed for enjoying sex, nor should they be branded a "whore" for their sexual choices. Sex-shaming should not have a place here. I certainly don't have a place for it in the comments on my story.

This story was posted in the Non-Consent/Reluctance category. As an author who's submitted a purely non-consensual story in this category, you're aware that it includes rape. If you believe Mariah was raped and that makes it the type of story you don't want to read, you should probably choose another category to read and write in.

If you're upset with me for some reason, I'd encourage you to send me a private message so that we can talk about what's bothering you.

I'm thrilled to hear Chapter 7 accomplished both its purposes. ;) Knowing people get that out of it encourages me to keep writing. I really appreciate your patience. I work steadily at the chapters, but as you can imagine, I have off-Lit commitments to balance with this.

Besides those interruptions, the truth is that there are times I sit down at the computer and I'm just not inspired. It's not something I can force. I've tried, and when I do it mechanically, the result isn't good. So, I do the parts that I can do, but I have to wait until I'm feeling it to make major progress.

One thing I do to try to get myself inspired is to re-read the comments on my stories. A lot of you have been very generous with your support and encouragement, and a lot of times, that's enough to get me in the right frame of mind for writing. The comments where readers identify what they do and don't like help, too, because they help me think about how I can integrate things with the chapter I'm working on, and sometimes that helps the wheels keep turning.

I'm a bit behind where I hoped to be with Chapter 8. I had to rewrite large parts of it because it just didn't feel right. Sometimes I try to stick too closely to the plot. I got some solid work put in on it this weekend, and I feel like it's going in the right direction.

Thanks again for being so supportive. I hope you "feel" Chapter 8 in both senses of the word!

I read a lot on this site and have done for years. I appreciate the great writing in this story and I'm looking forward to the details that will be provided about the Elites and how they treat their mistresses. I also am smart enough to get that we are slowly finding out about what makes Mariah tick and that the author doesn't need us to like Michael. This is dystopian non-con guys.. Stop judging! On the other hand, it must be an excellent story to invoke such passionate commentary!

ONE OF THE BEST STORIES EVER. YOU ARE A GREAT WRITER

and, too boring to finish...

A wonderful addition to this story. Well written and very in tune with everything going on. Thank you!

The story line is great as are your descriptions of the sex and sexual play. It is very well written and compelling writing. The grammar is very good too except for using the various forms of lie and lay correctly. I trust that you can find when one should use the verb lie, as in, “I lie down to sleep at around midnight every evening.”. One should use the various forms of lay for objects. Hens lay eggs. “I wonder where I should lay my things.” The tricky part is the conjugation of the verbs because “lay” is also the past tense and for the verb lie.

I lie. We lie. You lie. You all lie. She lies. They lie. Present tense

I lay. We lay. You lay. You all lay. She lays. They lay. Past tense of lie.

I have lain in bed all day. …. Perfect tense of lie.

I lay my fork on the edge of the plate after its first use….

I laid my fork “. “. “…

The bedsheets were turned down and her nightgown was laid out for her too. Perfect tense of lay.

Check the differences between vice and vise, and phased and fazed.