After the Future is Gone Pt. 02

TL;DR for part 1: Mike's wife cheated on him with his best friend. He went into a spiral, got into therapy, joined a gym, and met Emily, a young woman with a painful past. They became close friends, then became more the night Mike received his final divorce decree.

This one is mostly sweet, but there is a long, kind of painful bit later on. Flavors are in the tags. There is also a thoroughly stupid joke buried in here that I couldn't bear to cut; I'm not proud of that, but I won't apologize, either.

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The next morning, we just decided to relax together. Emily was still sore, and I was feeling lazy, so we spent the day lounging around. My new girlfriend and I stayed in bed kissing and cuddling when we woke, then I cooked her breakfast from the meager supply of staples in her kitchen. We did the dishes together, me in a pair of sweatpants with no shirt and she in a t-shirt and boy panties. Then we retired to the couch to binge watch whatever caught our eye while snuggling.

I laid on my side, spooning against her as we searched for something on Netflix. We made our selection, some execrable 90s sci-fi trash, and settled in. Halfway into the movie, I felt myself stirring against her back. As had become my habit, I shifted a little so that I wasn't disturbing her, but then I realized I didn't need to do that anymore. Instead, I pressed myself against her ass so she could feel exactly the effect she'd always had on me.

Em gave a low, throaty chuckle. "Bored, lover? Movie not holding your attention?" She reached down between us to stroke her hand over the front of my sweats. "You know, ever since that first day we laid here together, I fantasized about this. You were always such a gentleman, trying to make me feel comfortable. I loved the way that you showed me that respect, how you wanted to be honest about being attracted to me, but didn't want to hurt our friendship." She half turned towards me and gave me a soft kiss. "I liked you before that. But, looking back, I think that was when I really started to fall for you."

She turned further towards me, a gleam in her eyes. "But you don't have to restrain yourself anymore. And I've been waiting months to help you out. I know it's been hard for you." She giggled. "No pun intended. But if you knew how damp I was after you left each time? Mmm my god. My fingers were like prunes after I got myself off, I was so wet for you."

A sharp intake of breath from me as she gently squeezed my cock. I gasped, "Wait. Show me."

She looked at me quizzically. "Show you? What do you mean?"

"I want to watch you. Show me how much you wanted me before you could have me. I want to see how you make yourself come."

A light went off. "Oh! Oh. That's..." She bit her lip. "Fuck Mike, that's so hot. Yeah, lover. I want to. But only if I can watch you, too." I nodded and Emily slid off the couch, down onto her knees, legs spread wide. One hand slipped down into her panties. She began to slowly stroke herself while the other reached up under her shirt to squeeze at her breasts.

"Wait," my voice commanded, and she stopped. "Take your shirt off. I want to see you. You can keep your panties on, but I want to see those amazing tits while you play with them." She bit her lip in that sexy little way she does. She took the hem of her shirt in her hands, slowly raising it, teasing me a little before she pulled it all the way off. Her breasts bounced as they came loose, and I felt my mouth water. I wanted to taste those perky little nipples, to suck on them until she moaned for me to take her. But that wasn't the game we were playing right now.

She fell back on her haunches, staring at my crotch hungrily. "Your turn."

If I stood, I knew she'd be tempted to take me into her mouth. While part of me was screaming out, 'yes, dummy, that's a good thing,' I was enjoying the building anticipation. Instead, I raised myself up just enough to pull my sweats down, then leaned forward to pull them off and throw them aside. As I did, my face dipped towards Emily's luscious lips, but I only came just close enough to tempt her before sitting back with my legs spread wide.

My cock was standing free now, hard and proud. I wrapped my hand around the shaft and began to stroke it slowly. Emily watched, mesmerized. Her hand slid back down below the waistband of her shorts. I could see movement there, delicate motions hidden by the fabric. I imagined her teasing at the lips and sliding a finger between. A soft schlicking sound could be heard as her movements grew in speed, and she began to moan quietly. My hand moved up and down, spreading precum first on the head and then the length of my dick.

I breathed, "Is this what you'd do wishing I was with you? Is this how you'd finger yourself each time?" She nodded without speaking. "You're so wet. So eager. You need this, don't you? You need me." She nodded again, eyes alive with desire as she stared at my cock.

I stroked myself faster. "That first night I stayed with you, when I slept on your couch, do you know how hard I was? Do you know how much I wanted to come into your room and take you, to claim you as mine?"

I thought about how frustrated I'd been for months. She was starting to pant, and her eyes became unfocused. "Every night when I'd go home after we hung out, Emily. I tried not to. I tried to just think of you as my friend, but I couldn't stop myself. Every night, I'd stroke myself just like this. I'd wish I could bury my cock in your tight little cunt. I wondered what you'd sound like when you came."

Her hand moved, almost of its own accord, up to roughly squeeze at her breast. I stroked myself rapidly. "You're so much better than I dreamt, Em. So much. You're mine, you understand?" Her head bobbed vigorously, desperate to show me that she knew. "And I'm going take you whenever I want to. And you're going to love it. Isn't that right, my good girl?" She pinched her nipples and gasped, "Mike. Oh god, Mike. Yes. Yours. Oh, god, ohgod gonna cum soon..." Our hands were both blurs now. I felt my body responding to her moans and motions, the familiar tightening in my balls. "Em. Em. I-- "

She looked me in the eye then, for the first time since we'd started. There was an animalistic hunger there. "On me, Mike. On me. Mark me, lover. Give me-- " and then I was over the edge. I was barely able to shift forward on the couch before ropes of cum showered her tits and belly. She arched her back to receive my tribute, triumph and ecstasy written across her face.

She hadn't cum yet, but she was so desperately close. As one hand brought her closer and closer to the edge, the other scooped my cum from her chest. She licked at my seed, sucked her fingers clean, and went back for more. It was so lewd and so loving at the same time, as if she couldn't bear the thought of not having my issue inside of her. She watched my face to see how I'd respond to this shameless display of lust, her expression hopeful and fearful. I think she still foolishly worried that I might reject her, as if her naked wantonness would frighten me.

I spoke to her in a low, even tone. "Show me, Emily. Show me how desperate you've been to feel my love. The love I've always had for you."

Her body shook, then froze in the way I had seen often in the last few days. A short cry escaped from her first, then transformed into a wail of pleasure as her release came. I slid off the couch and took her in my arms, held her against me as her body juddered with ecstatic energy. She gasped, taking in lungfuls of air as her orgasm began to pass and released her from paralysis. I felt her arms weakly encircle me as the gasps gave way to sobs, not of sorrow, but of joy. We had found our way to each other, and everything was right with the world.

She pulled away a few moments later and laughed ruefully, wiping a happy little tear from her eye. "God, I'm such a mess. Are you sure this is what you want?" I kissed her lovingly. "Never been more sure of anything." She looked down at herself and chuckled, "How do you make that much jizz? It's like a fucking firehose every time."

She stood shakily. "Help me to the shower?"

We left the shitty movie behind us as we got into her shower and cleaned each other. When we returned to the couch together, while I felt some stirrings again, I think we had finally fucked ourselves out for the time being. We found something a little more distracting to watch this time, though, just to be sure.

Our life began to settle into a new, fun routine. Most days, we'd go to work, meet at the gym, grab some dinner, and then go to one of our apartments, usually hers. We'd settle in together and cuddle in front of the TV some nights, go straight to bed others. Sometimes we'd make love. Mostly, though, we'd fuck. The love between us was always implicit, but the sex was just more fun when it was explicit.

Our bedroom romps were adventurous and varied. We combined our experiences to find the things that we both enjoyed. It. Was. Great. Em had tossed out most of her old sexual accouterments from her college days, unwanted souvenirs of a past that she was trying to forget. But she still had some that she didn't part with, and we enjoyed those together, too, making good memories to replace the bad.

After several months, it was rare that we repeated the same kink more than a handful of times. There are some women who take a transactional approach to sex: "One piece of jewelry is worth three blowjobs or one anal session." Em wanted nothing to do with that. Instead, she viewed our time in bed as a great journey that we were on together, and she wanted to see all of the attractions. It was enjoyable, but also exhausting, like trying to hit every ride at Disney World on the first day.

One night, after a particularly vigorous ride, she was cuddled up in my arms. I decided to broach the subject. Foolish, perhaps. Why risk a good thing? But I was beginning to worry that it was less a good thing and more an extension of the insecurity that Emily had about our relationship, and that mattered more than any kind of sexual acrobatics.

"Hey, Emily? Can we talk?"

She tensed. "What's wrong?"

I squeezed her reassuringly. "Nothing's wrong, Em. I am so in love with you, and I'm so happy to be with you. You know that, right?"

Emily drew herself up onto her elbows. "... but?"

I sighed. "I just want you to know that... look, the sex is amazing. It's incredible, and if you give me a little time to recuperate, I'll be happy to show you exactly how I feel about it-- "

She laughed and kissed my chest.

"-- but I don't want you to feel like you have to... I dunno. Entice me to stay? I love that you want to do all of these things with me, and I very, very much want to keep doing them with you, but I just feel like..." I was at a loss for words. As I talked, this started to seem like a really dumb complaint, but I was sure there was something to how I was feeling.

She picked up my train of thought. "... like we're speedrunning the Kama Sutra?"

I laughed loudly. "Something like that, yeah. I don't mind taking some time to circle back to things we enjoy more. Does that sound silly?"

Em shook her head and looked at me apprehensively. "I'm sorry. I just-- I'm going to tell you something now, and I don't want you to get mad, okay?"

I nodded slowly. "I'll do my best."

She nestled back into my arms. "After everything that happened, when I went to therapy, I decided to be celibate for a while. I didn't want to be with anyone until I'd fixed whatever the fuck was wrong in my brain. A while turned into two years. More than two years, actually. That night with you was the first time I'd been with anyone since before my last year in college.

"And it felt great. It was so amazing. I've never had sex like that before: mindblowing orgasms, emotional closeness, all of it. I've never... I've never been in love before. My first 'boyfriend' turned out to be a cruel bastard that was playing a joke on me, and after that, I couldn't be close to anyone. Until you."

My pixie turned her head up to me, smiled, and gave me a quick, sweet kiss, then cuddled up again before continuing.

"I had a lot of sex before you. Some of it was because I was tricked into believing things that weren't true. Some of it was because I needed to blow off steam and just used whatever guy was available. And some of it... some of it was because I was manipulating people. Trying to ruin their relationships. As awful as it is, there was a real feeling of power in that. Knowing that the way I looked and what I could do with my body gave me the power to..." She shuddered, and I hugged her tight until she was ready to talk again.

"I knew that something had changed in me in the last two years, even before we were together. My masturbation fantasies had changed; I found my mind drifting towards fantasies of love instead of pure sex. When they were purely sexual, the power dynamics in them had shifted. I stopped needing to be the one 'in charge' in my fantasies, sometimes preferring the idea that I would take care of my lover instead of being taken care of by them.

"When I talked to my therapist about it, she told me that I might find that, as I healed, as I came to terms with what had been done to me and what I'd done to others, my sexual tastes might change in ways I didn't expect. They really have.

"I told you before that the way that I got between some couples was to find out what the guy liked that the girlfriend didn't, and I took advantage of that. There were things that... that I did and enjoyed at the time, but I've since realized I enjoyed them because I felt powerful, not because they were things I liked actually doing. And there were other things that I didn't like because they required me to give up power, to be submissive, but that I find now..."

Emily stopped as if collecting her thoughts. I had known her long enough now to let her sort them out, instead of asking. She wasn't stalling, just thinking.

"Do you remember that first night, when we were going out to get you laid, and I had you go check yourself out in the mirror?"

"Hard to forget that night."

She chuckled. "Do you know that we almost didn't make it out of the bathroom?"

"Really?"

"When I told you that you were giving off daddy vibes, and you jokingly called me your little girl, I got so fucking wet. I've never had that kind of reaction before. I had to play it off like I was angry, because right then, I wanted to beg you to bend me over the sink and fuck me til I couldn't walk. I had never been into the whole Daddy/little girl thing before. I found it kind of creepy. But right then, god, I was so turned on."

"So that night, when you called me Daddy..."

"That was the first time I'd ever done that. I was trying it out. And I think you know how that went."

The "Daddy" thing had become, if not a constant, then certainly a recurring theme in our love life. I had never been into it before either, but at this point, I had a completely Pavlovian response to Emily calling me Daddy. Truth be told, I was starting to get hard and had to try to will it down.

She continued. "Later, when you told me to show you what a good girl I was by cumming on your cock? Holy shit, I had never cum that hard in my life. And then you just fucking railed me for the rest of the night, using me like a little fuckdoll, and I..." She looked down at my dick and laughed. "I'm sorry, do we need to stop? Am I draining all the blood from your big head?"

I grunted, "I'll manage. Keep talking."

"Anyways. I realized then that my... sexual compass, I guess, had gotten completely realigned. I still like to be dominant sometimes, as you know..." She grinned at me, and I winced a little remembering how deftly she could wield a riding crop when she wanted to. "...but mostly I just want to be your good girl. I want you to take me and own me, because... I think because I feel so safe with you. I love you so much. I'd trust you with my life."

Em leaned up to kiss me, and I asked, "So, the reason we've been so adventurous is you... trying to figure out what you like again?"

"Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty much it in a nutshell. I mean, some of it is because it's just fun watching you when I suggest something we haven't tried before." She smiled sweetly at me. "You get a look on your face like a kid opening his Christmas presents. But it's definitely a journey of rediscovery for me."

"Why didn't you just say something?"

She looked ashamed then. "Because... because I was scared. I didn't want to give you a reason to be worried. I didn't want you to think I was a freak, or, I dunno, not want to be with me."

I thought for a long time before I spoke. "I wish you had told me. I really do. My marriage failed, I think, because Lisa wouldn't tell me when things were wrong. She'd just hint at them, and I'd have to piece things together. I'd like to think I'm more perceptive now than I was then, but I don't want to fall into that trap with you, too. Please don't do that to us. I got into this knowing we both have healing to do, so please stop worrying about losing me because you still have things to work through. The only way I'm going to leave is if I feel like I can't trust you, okay? So talk to me."

She winced. "I'm sorry, Mike. I will. I promise, I'll do my best, okay?"

I hugged her. "That's all I can ask for. You made a mistake. I'll make mistakes, too. But let's try not to make them twice, okay?"

She nodded and sniffed. "Thank you. I love you."

"I love you, too."

Emily hugged me tightly, crushing me against her. "God, you are just the best guy, you know that? Understanding, and cute, and sweet, and the absolutely most perfect cock I'm ever gonna have."

I laughed. "If you say so."

She got on her elbows and looked at me again. "I'm serious! You are such a great boyfriend. You really are sweet and... ooooh, this is about your dick, right? What am I saying? Of course it is. You're a guy."

I rolled my eyes and said, "Look, I know I'm not the biggest guy in the world. I doubt I'm even the biggest..."

She put her finger on my lips. "Shush. I never said you're the biggest guy I've had. You're not. You're not the longest, or the thickest. I said you're perfect. You're perfect for me." She straddled my legs, and took my cock in her hand, stroking it slowly. "Most girls, unless they're size queens or masochists, don't want enormous dicks. They aren't fun, other than as a novelty. They hurt a lot of the time. We don't want little dicks, either, but most guys with little dicks learn to supplement with their tongues or their fingers. But you certainly don't have a little dick, so that doesn't apply to you, either."

My dick was fully erect now, hard and throbbing in her hands. "Your length is so nice. Unless you just take me roughly without getting me ready first --" She grinned that wicked little grin, "which can be fun sometimes, admittedly -- but unless you do that, you're long enough to occasionally kiss my cervix, but not bang into it, which hurts. So you're the perfect length. I feel you deep inside me each time you thrust, but only in the best ways."

Emily wrapped her hand all the way around. "And you're just a little too thick for me. That first night, yeah, I hadn't had sex in two years, and you felt like a goddamned elephant. But even now, I still feel you stretching me when you push in. And I love that. You make me feel like..."

She thought for a moment. "You know how I said before that I love how you take me? How it feels like you own me? I love the way your cock stretches me. Love that your thickness makes me just a little uncomfortable when you first fuck me each night. It hurts just enough to know that you're taking me, because you have to take me to get all the way inside. I love that, after you fuck me, that I can still feel how much you stretched me afterwards. That ache the next day is a reminder of how much you desire me, how much you need to push yourself as deep into me as you can get. I get a little thrill each time I feel that soreness, because I know you can't resist me, and that you just take what you want from my body. And that's good, because I want you to take it, too."