After the Future is Gone Pt. 02

She licked her hand, tasting my precum, then getting me slick with her spit. Her speech and her hand had me almost ready to burst. "This cock, your perfect cock, is the best I've ever had, and it's the best I'm ever going to have. It fits me perfectly, like a key in a lock."

I grinned. "The key to your heart, eh?"

She leaned forward and kissed my forehead. "No, that's here." Then, she raised herself up over me and brought the head of my cock to her slick, greedy cunt. She winked saucily. "But your dick can sure open my box any time, Daddy." She sunk down onto me and I groaned loudly. She smirked down at me. "Feels good, lover?"

I grunted, "Nah, that was for the pun."

Emily slapped my chest and started to pull off. "Dick!"

Grabbing her hips, I pulled her back down, hard. "Your dick. All yours, good girl."

My gorgeous blonde girlfriend moaned and started to grind against me. "Oh, you bastard. That's... ah!" I pushed my hips into the mattress and slammed up into her. "That's cheating. You d-dirty-- ah!-- cheater." She smiled a silly, teasing little smile at me.

We began to move together, sliding against each other. "Whatever keeps me in the sweetest pussy I've ever had. My good girl is so tight. So hot. I'm happy that she loves giving this to me, even if it hurts. I'm glad that she likes how it hurts."

I used a little leverage to flip Emily over onto her back, rolling with her. I pinned her wrists above her head, and she groaned loudly. "Does my good girl want to be filled with my cream?" She nodded frantically. Another thing that I knew, for sure, was that Emily preferred that I cum in her. She'd have me do it every time if I could. So I took a little chance. I started to piston in her harder. "What would my little girl do if I hid her pills? Would she still want Daddy's cream in her?"

Her eyes shot open and stared into mine in a mix of lust and horror, much more the former than the latter. She moaned even louder then, "Oh, fuck Mike. Oh my god. What are you--?"

I kept hammering at my beautiful little pixie's pussy. "Does my good girl want me to knock her up? Maybe Daddy should fuck a baby into--" I didn't even finish the sentence before she started thrashing and howling, her orgasm blowing right past her usual paralysis and into violent, energetic motion. I kept fucking her straight through, pinning her down with my weight, slamming my full length into her over and over. She had barely stopped cumming when another started. Emily howled my name as I came what felt like buckets inside her sopping cunt. The girl next door with the insatiable appetites fell limp under me.

She didn't move at all. "Emily? Em, are you okay?" I rolled off of her to check her, worried I'd maybe injured her. She was breathing and staring glassy-eyed at the ceiling. I was about to call her name again when she got the goofiest, most satisfied grin. She looked like she was high.

"Holy fucking shit, Mike. Do it again, Daddy!"

I laughed, "Jesus, Em, you scared me."

She langurously rolled to face me, her eyes slowly becoming more fixed. "I scared myself, lover. I think I blacked out there for a minute."

I kissed her and stroked her hair. "You okay now?"

"Okay? Dude, I'm fantastic." She giggled. "I guess we can add 'breeding fetish' to the things that press my buttons. When you said you were going to hide my pills and knock me up..." She shivered. "Mmmf. I know you'd never do something like that to me, but wow. It was like a bomb went off in my head." She touched her nether lips and found the copious discharge leaking there. "Guess it did it for you, too, huh?"

I sheepishly answered. "I knew you liked me cumming in you, so I figured..."

"Uh huh. And it had nothing to do with you liking to fill my little cunny up with your boys? Maybe a little fantasy about wanting to see me barefoot and pregnant?"

"Well, maybe a little bit," I chuckled.

She got pensive. "Do you? I mean, do you want to knock me up?"

"What? No! I mean... maybe eventually. I want us to be together, and I want kids. But not right now."

She nodded slowly, her expression a little regretful. "Yeah. Yeah, same. Don't get me wrong, I love you. I want us to be together for..." She paused, deciding if she should say what she was thinking. "For the rest of our lives. I really do. But I think we've got a lot of steps between here and there, yeah?"

"Yeah." I lay on my back. "Come here, Em. I want to hold you before we go get cleaned up."

She scooted close to me and chuckled, "God, if you keep cumming in me like that, I think we're going to put that 'birth control pills are 99% effective' disclaimer to the test. Feels like a gallon of your stuff is up in there." She laid her head on my chest. "I meant everything I said before, you know. You really are the best guy. And your dick is perfect. And... and I really would like to have your kids some day."

I stroked her hair. "I love you, Em."

She snuggled. "I love you, too. So much."

After our heart to heart about the variety in our sex life, we actually talked more about it, not less. While we still experimented liberally, we discussed things more beforehand. We were a pair of nerds, a computer programmer and an analyst. While we didn't quite put it into spreadsheets, we discussed the things we knew turned us on, the things that were a hard no for each of us, and the things we hadn't tried yet, either together or separately.

We talked about fantasies; Emily, realizing how much she liked being held down by me, thought she might want to try breathplay. For me, I had never had a threesome, and I was curious. When she found out that I'd much prefer another woman, she just rolled her eyes and said, "Typical man." Then she laughed and kissed me. "Maybe if you're a very good boy, Santa will bring you one."

The breeding kink was a potent new tool in our toolbox, but one rarely used. Partially, I think we both wanted to have it as a fun little surprise to spring occasionally, something to get us both really going. But the main reason, even if we never spoke it aloud, was that there was some pain there. We both wanted something we shouldn't have yet, and it stung a little.

Concrete talk of the future, the idea of us maybe having kids together some day, along with our discussions about communication and trust, finally convinced us: this really was for the long term. I was convinced, and I think she was too, that we'd get there eventually. We'd have the house, the kids, growing old together, all of it, if we didn't screw this up. So, of course, I had to go and do my best to screw it up.

A few weeks after our talk, I went to meet Emily at the gym. I had to work late, but I was hoping I could get a quick workout in before we headed home. Home. It's funny, I'd been going to her place so often these days that I just started thinking of it as home.

When I got to the gym, I quickly found Em, but she was talking with someone. He was massive, like someone has slammed Pete and Not-Pete together and sprinkled in one of the Marvel Chrises for good measure. I was taller than Emily, and he was taller than me, so he towered over her. Big McLargehuge had a relaxed look on his irritatingly handsome face, and Emily was laughing and chatting with him like they knew each other. She was standing close enough to him that I wondered if she might have known him in the biblical sense.

I walked towards them. Her face brightened and she waved me over. But then she saw my expression.

"Hey. Emily. Who's. This?" I tried to sound nonchalant, but I was absolutely chalant.

She looked at me like she didn't recognize me. "This, uh, this is Abe, Mike. He was my workout buddy when I first started here."

Abe, an amiable slab of beef, put his hand out. "Bro! Thanks for taking care of my girl."

I wasn't so far gone that I couldn't at least observe social norms. I took his hand, and we shook. He didn't try any kind of macho alpha shit. It was just a nice, firm handshake.

"Your girl, huh?" I looked at Emily, face blank.

"Yeah, brah! She's super sweet. Helped me out a lot when I was feeling down. I've missed her, but now we can start working out together again, so thanks for watching out for her."

Emily quickly said, "Abe got moved to night shifts just before you joined the gym, Mike. He's back on day shifts now and wants to work out with us."

"Is that so?" My teeth ground together.

He laughed. Even his laugh was irritatingly masculine. "Yeah, bro! Em says you're a runner. That's cool. You do you, brah. But she likes to lift heavy, right? So I figure I can do supersets with her while you do your thing. Get her pumped."

I gritted my teeth. "I'm. Sure. She'd. Like. That." I turned on Em. "Why don't you and your 'bro' get to it, then." I stalked away towards the treadmills.

I heard Abe call out from behind, "See you later, brah! She's in good hands!"

I knew I was being irrational. I trusted Emily, didn't I? I loved her, and she loved me. She told me she hadn't been with anyone since college. I wanted to believe that was true. But she helped him out when she was down? Like with me? She had never mentioned him. Was I just replacement Abe? Even if I wasn't, was that how I started? Did she just befriend sadsacks until she found one that tickled her fancy?

I got on the treadmill and ran. I was angry. I felt foolish. I didn't know if I felt foolish because I felt like Emily had hid something, if it was because I knew I was being a jealous asshole, or if it was because I had a sinking feeling that I hadn't gotten nearly as far along in my recovery as I'd hoped. I didn't notice that I'd let the treadmill ramp up way past where I normally would have. I set a new personal best that day. I barely noticed that, too.

When I was done, I saw Abe and Emily were still laughing and working out. She was achingly beautiful, even sweaty and with her hair mussed. I thought of her in our bed and smiled; but then I saw her with him, and creeping jealousy crowded out the pleasant memories.

They had a familiar ease between them that reminded me of her and Rowena. Or... her and me. I knew I should go and see her. I should try to be friends with her friend. He hadn't been anything but nice to me. But I couldn't. I knew I was being stupid, but that didn't make my feelings any less real.

I texted Emily that I wasn't feeling well and was going to go home. I told her I'd see her tomorrow. She turned off notifications while she worked out, so I was able to slip away to my car unnoticed. It was the first night I'd chosen to not go home with her. I knew I was making bad choices, but I couldn't stop myself. Or maybe I just didn't want to. I wanted to go sulk.

I knew I had nothing to eat at home. I'd barely been at my apartment other than to check mail and get fresh clothes to take to Emily's. But I wasn't hungry anyways. I sat in bed with my laptop, trying to find something to watch. I knew I was just doing what I had done after I found Lisa and Pete together. It was a bad pattern to restart, but I just couldn't summon up the energy to care.

About twenty minutes later, there was a knock at my door. Emily's voice. "Mike. Let me in."

I sighed. I knew her. I should have known she'd come straight over.

I opened the door. She had a look I don't see too often on her face: disdain. "Sick, huh? Really?"

"Yeah. No. I just..." I sighed. "What do you want, Emily?"

"I want you, you fucking moron!" She was angry now. We'd never fought before, but I got the feeling that was about to change.

She kissed me, hard. Okay, not fighting. Yet.

"I love you, Mike. You are the best part of my life. I. Am. Yours. Always. Do you understand, you asshole?" She was starting to tear up. I reluctantly nodded.

I stood aside and let her in. We sat on the couch together, and she took my hands. "Why did you leave? Why did you not talk to me?"

I let it all tumble out. My jealousy, feeling stupid about my jealousy, feeling like she hid something from me, all of it. She listened compassionately, until I got to the "replacement Abe" part. Then she burst out laughing for what had to be a full minute.

She finally stopped and caught her breath. "Abe? Really?" Her face softened. "Oh, my man. My beautiful, sexy, stupid man." She kissed me, silencing my protest. "Abe is a sweet guy, but he's... Abe. It took me weeks to get 'bro' and 'brah' out of my daily vocabulary after we stopped working out together."

"Yeah, but he's.." I stopped.

"Huge? Massive? Built like a fucking aircraft carrier?"

"... Yes. Thank you. I didn't have the words."

"Sarcasm doesn't suit you, lover. Yes, he's big. And handsome. I've heard that he's quite hung, too."

"Is this supposed to be helping?"

Emily shook her head like I just didn't get it. "He's not you, Mike. Yeah, he's got a bunch of great attributes. But he's not smart like you. He's funny sometimes, but not witty like you. He's cute, but like a big goofy teddy bear. He's my friend, sort of, but he doesn't 'get' me. Not like Rowena or Adam. Certainly not like you. He's as subtle as a sledgehammer; what you see is what you get with him and not a bit more. Do you know what he was working through when he was 'feeling down' that once?"

"What?"

"He had plateaued on his bench press."

I laughed. "So you and him never..."

"Oh my god, no." She looked mortified. "God. No, never. Oof."

"Did he hit on you?"

Em rolled her eyes. "I mean, yeah. Have you fucking seen me? I get hit on all the time. Unlike you, Abe never bothered to hide that he was eying me. But he asked, and I told him no, and he just gave me that goofy grin and went 'Okay, brah. Back to the grind.' Then he picked up his weights and never bothered me again. Even stopped ogling me."

Her gaze went to the floor. "Look, Mike. You know that I'm a friendly person. I wasn't trying to hide Abe from you, it just wasn't a thing I even thought about. He was a sort-of friend from a year ago. I want to be as open as I can be with you, always."

She fixed me with a serious stare then. "I took it to heart when you told me that the only thing that would make you leave me was if you couldn't trust me. I will always do what I can to be worthy of that trust. But I can't make you trust me, Mike. I can't..."

Emily's brows knitted together as she thought very hard about what she was going to say next. "I will never betray you. I'd sooner cut off my hand than hurt you; that's not just because I love you, but because I can't go back to being the awful person I was before. I won't be her again."

She got very quiet. "And I won't be Lisa, either. I promise."

Oh my god.

I swept her up in my arms. "I'm sorry, Em. I'm so, so sorry. I love you. God, I'm such an idiot." I just started babbling, so fearful of the mistake I'd almost made. The mistake that was only prevented because this woman loved me enough to put aside the way I'd insulted and disregarded her.

She hugged me and patted me. "Shh, it's okay, love. You haven't lost me. I won't let you."

She led me to bed and we made love. She whispered in my ear how much she loved me, that I was her man, that I always would be. As she lay on the bed, welcoming me into her embrace, her hair fanned about her head on the pillow like a halo. She was an angel. My angel. She had saved me from myself.

It wasn't the frenzied fucking that we usually preferred, but it was exactly what we both needed. I thought she was forgiving me, at first. But then I realized she was showing me, with her tenderness and love, that there was nothing to forgive.

The nightmares returned that night for the first time since Emily and I had been together. They were different this time. Most of them faded away before I awoke, but I remembered one: Emily was standing precariously at the edge of a cliff. Lisa and Pete were there, pushing her over. I ran, trying to get there in time, but I was just a moment too late. I could only watch in horror as Em fell to the rocks below. Just before she hit, I woke with a shout, covered in sweat. Emily kissed and patted me, soothing me back to sleep. As I drifted off, I realized what I needed to do.

The following Saturday morning, I sat in a cafe just around the corner from my apartment. I used to be a frequent customer, but since I had all but moved in with Emily, I rarely came here. Still, it was a familiar, friendly place, and I enjoyed the atmosphere. Most of the time.

She came through the door and looked around, searching for me. As she spotted me and approached, I stood to greet her. Old habits die hard, I suppose.

"Hello, Lisa."

My ex-wife smiled almost shyly. "Hey Mike. It's good to see you. Have you been waiting long?"

I got here thirty minutes before we were supposed to meet to quiet my nerves, and she's ten minutes late. "No, not long. I was about to get something to drink. Mocha, extra shot?"

She laughed. "You know me too well, Mike." A small shift in her expression, a little pain quickly hidden. "Thanks. That would be nice." She went to open her purse, but I waved her off.

I returned with our drinks and sat opposite her. As we drank, we furtively assessed each other. Our eyes did the dance of two people who had known each other intimately, but who had not seen each other in some time. We looked for the subtle changes that had moved us further away from who we each used to be and for the familiar details that showed us that the old person was still there.

She looked good. Still beautiful. She'd changed her hair; gone were the long, flowing locks, now cut into something a little more modern and daring. She'd put on some weight, but it looked good on her. Healthy. I hadn't realized how thin she'd gotten by the time our marriage ended until I compared the Lisa sitting with me now to the one I knew then, and then to the one from two years before that. She smiled as much as she used to, but it felt different. Less forced, I realized. She hadn't been real with me in a long time, and I hadn't noticed the slow shift.

Her rings, the ones I had given her, were gone, of course. In their place was a single ring, a nice diamond one. Much nicer than the one I'd gotten her, but I proposed when we were in college. I probably could have gotten her a better one in a box of cracker jacks. But she had loved it back then.

I nodded towards her newer, bigger, better ring. "Still with Pete?"

She was suddenly self-conscious. "Yeah. Yeah. He... he proposed about two months ago. Wedding's scheduled for the spring."

"Mmm."

We had agreed to come alone. I hadn't asked if she was still with Pete or not. She hadn't asked if I was with anyone. But I thought we should meet, just the two of us, and she agreed quickly.

Here we were. Two duelists without their seconds.

'No,' I reminded myself silently. Don't turn this into a confrontation. It's not a duel. Not an argument. It doesn't need to be. I breathed deeply like Jim had taught me and let my irritation go.

I tried to put on a genuine smile. "I'm glad you're happy. You're looking well."

A sudden release of tension from her then. I think she'd been expecting us to get into a fight. That still wasn't off the table, but it hadn't happened yet. There was still a chance this could be civil.

"You're looking great, Mike. Really great. Have you been working out?"

"I have. Needed something to fill my time. Better than moping around."

"Have you-- are you seeing anyone?" Spoken like she wasn't sure if she wanted to know the answer and wasn't sure whether she would prefer "yes" or "no."

I nodded. "Yeah. We've been together for about, oh, six months now? We were friends before that."

Lisa smiled playfully. "Anyone I know?"

"No, I met Emily at the gym." I could feel my expression harden. "I don't see much of our old friends anymore."

My ex-wife looked down at her hands. "I know. I'm sorry. That wasn't fair. We should have... I should have done more to get people to not..."