Aftercare: BDSM After-Session Care

When you get into BDSM, it doesn't matter whether you are Master, Mistress, submissive, submissive, slave... We first think of sessions, handcuffs, bondage ropes or other games of attachments and restraints.

We imagine the whip, the bdsm whip and other impact accessories, as well as all the practices, however many, that allow domination and submission. But we often forget one of the most important points: the post-session, the aftercare. You will be able to learn more from the rest of this article in order to introduce it into your dominant / dominated relationship.

AFTERCARE: DEFINITION

During a session, the dominated takes a lot mentally and physically, just like the dominant who gives a lot of his person on all levels. It is therefore necessary to organize a softer, calmer moment according to your desires in order to release the pressure and relax.

This moment of calm very often comes after a session, but it can just as easily punctuate your BDSM session. When the pain or the mental load is too strong in the body or the spirit of your submissive, or simply when you feel like it, you have to decide to take this break.

The aftercare is a moment of sharing between the different actors of the game session, also allowing a constructive exchange on the positive points and the things to be improved during the session. It is very important to entrust yourself completely without restrictions to your Master during these moments, which will subsequently help you and that you can go beyond your limits and progress even more in your D S relationship.

THE MAIN TYPES OF BDSM AFTER SESSION CARE

These intimate moments can be divided into two distinct categories: physical care and mental comfort.

A) BODY CARE

Hugs: hugging, petting, caressing. A moment of love with your partner. Caressing a previously bruised and reddened body creates very strong and beneficial sensations for your sub. Now is the time to give her some love.

Soft Treatments: Swipe healing cream on your submissive, or something more hydrating to help the skin heal while you wait for your next whipping session. Or even a soothing cream on light burns caused by the ropes of your Shibari session, the hot wax of your candles, or any other practice causing a heating. You can also apply ice cubes to your submissive's sore buttocks.

Hard care: dressing or bandaging skin wounds, maybe even strips. For any wounds that are too deep, call a doctor.

The rewards: if you were well obedient during the session, maybe your Mistress will let you lick her heels. Surely you will have the right to an orgasm after a long period of edging (see the article Orgasm denial (edging): everything you need to know! ).

B) PSYCHIC RELAXATION

The debriefing: talking with your Dom (or your sub) about this BDSM moment, what did you like? What did you like less? Was it hard or easy for you? This will be the time to find out if your dominant is proud of you and your progress.

Introspection: reflecting on ourselves, our feelings, our successes, our mistakes. We can take advantage of this moment of aftercare to take stock of ourselves and get to know each other better.

Obviously these lists are not exhaustive, it is up to you to create your own rituals.

WHEN TO BRING THESE MOMENTS OF AFFECTION INTO YOUR BDSM LIFE?

It is not necessary to wait for a certain stage, or a specific moment to be comforting and reassuring. Make according to you, according to your desires and according to your needs. This can happen from your first domination session.

The aftercare is there as an Alpha to better understand your Beta and to reassure him and help him give himself even more to you. After having lived through a hard time, your slave having hardly taken it, you will be there to encourage her, guide her and show her how much her efforts are beneficial to her and that she is rewarded for giving herself so much, because it will help you. makes you proud.

Aftercare can take place anytime and anywhere. It's up to you to establish your own codes and rules. You can perfectly "pause" your session for a moment of calm before coming back to it more intensely. This break allows you to reach the limits of your submissive more slowly and to explore new alliances of practices.

You don't necessarily need a session to bring this cocooning moment into your games, a drop in morale on one of the two parties, an order to carry out or simply a desire can start this beautiful moment, it's up to you to decide..

IS AFTERCARE MANDATORY?

In BDSM, as in life, nothing is obligatory and everyone is free to make their own choices. Each Domination/Submission relationship is unique and each person has their own unique needs. It is obvious that each person can receive their aftercare if necessary in the most appropriate way.

Aftercare can very well consist of watching a movie and relaxing, it does not necessarily happen in pairs if you do not feel the desire or the need. Each person manages the post-session in the way most suited to them, which may vary from time to time.

This moment of floating between the fallout of sexual tension, pain, excitement, pleasure aroused during the session, is very taxing both physically and mentally. Bodies need some time to return to normal, as released hormones mix with the various emotions and sensations experienced.