All Comments on 'Afternoon Delight'

A decent story, but a bit short. Way too many errors though to make it flow well. Run-on words, capitalization issues, contractions with no apostrophe, and more. Even the simplest editing program would bring huge improvements, so keep at it, but try to make it a little better for your readers.

I really did like it, especially for your first, well done!

You can work on editing.

I appreciated that 'he' didn't have a huge cock, it annoys me when many think that's a turn on for most women.

My pleasure is having My clit stimulated, that is when I orgasm.

Keep on writing, I'm following you now.

Oh, and fill in your biography, I'd like to know more. Thanks

Wonderful story. Not over the top or wild, but a scrumptious morsel of two people who really do seem to care for each other. You capture subtle yet fully developed relationship in a very short story. The sex is believable and hot because of your two characters who are believable and real. Yes there are a few minor grammar errors, but the writing and the tone are rare and I do hope you continue to write. Thanks!