Ah... Honey, We Have to Talk Ch. 01

"The week before, Angie and I had gotten new cell phones. I noticed that she kept leaving that phone around unattended, and it had no password. It had family contacts on it but no work or unknown entries. Hardly any texts other than to your sister, your wife, and a few to me. That meant she was using a different cell for work and personal contact."

"After locating the investigator, I swung by the cell provider office and asked them to check our accounts and phone plans to review for better pricing. It was a shot in the dark that she would set another one with the same provider, but sure enough, she had. A separate account in her name with a different number I did not know."

"The store changed our joined plan a bit, but I had them leave her separate phone alone. But I did jot down the new number for her. Then I went to a different provider and set up a separate phone for myself. It was the same model as mine in case she saw it on my desk."

I listened but was aghast at the levels my parents had sunk to.

"Using the new phone," Dad continued. "I called the investigator and retained him after we talked about my case and price. When I told him that I might be followed, he chuckled at that and said he loved a challenge. Meeting without being spotted was easier than I thought. He had me drive to the mall and park in a spot on the bottom level next to a white van. You guessed it. He was in that van. We made the switch fast, so no one saw us, and he drove off. We parked outside the police station and made plans. I felt stupid doing this cloak and dagger stuff, but I needed to know."

"I gave him keys to our home, and he proceeded to mount cameras with audio all over the place. With me working from home, she would not do anything when I was here. But when I was away, she easily could, and the surveillance cameras would let us know what and who else had been to our house. Her car was also bugged with a mike and two trackers. Her known phone was tagged with a monitoring program, but the other phone would have to wait until I could get a hold of it."

Joanna was listening intently, but I had a feeling she knew this already.

"We may have moved here together, Jake," dad said, looking at his hands then up at me. "But we were not intimate. I slept in a separate bed, not wanting to share one with her. I figured she would have someone in it eventually or already had. One night that she was asleep alone, I went to the master bedroom and saw the phone sticking out from under her pillow. I took my chance and grabbed it."

"The Investigator had warned that I may have mere minutes to install the monitoring program on her "secret" phone and had taught me how to install and activate it. It was in the form of an email sent to her account and then activated by me on her phone by opening it. It was in her junk file when I found it and brought it up. Her screen flashed once, and then I watched the email erase itself. It was now installed and sending information to both the investigator and myself. I set it to report on my secret phone."

"Damn, dad!" I said. "You turned into a spook."

Joanna chuckled at that, but I was more focused on the way she was looking at my father. It was clear that this former neighbor of ours was quite taken by my dad, and possibly in love? She was taller than my mother with smaller breasts and ass, but she was classy and sexy in her own distinct way. Especially when she looked at pops - her eyes beamed with fire.

I was a bit perturbed at that for a while. We don't see our parents as sexual beings. Not when we are kids, and they are young and hot. And not when they are almost fifty. But I was no longer a child. I was a grown man who had seen things in war no average person would, nor should.

The last three years of my life in deployments had taught me to expect anything and everything in life or else die in the process. Accepting that my parents were ending their marriage due to infidelity was not something out of the ordinary these days. But when it happens to you, it's different. It's closer to home. You feel the pain of seeing your family fall apart, and it's a sad pain - one of inevitability and helplessness. The two people you have loved all your life are drifting apart or splitting up, and there is nothing you can do to stop that train wreck.

In my case, I had not even been aware of it to influence events. As if that would have even been possible. My parents occasionally had arguments in front of us, but they never discussed their deep issues with my sister and I. Now, when things seemed to have come to a head, I was learning things I wished I had not.

"I turned into a spook out of necessity, Jake," he said, and again, I sensed anguish in his voice. But also a sense of finality.

"So what happened?"

"Right before my first trip out, I received a call," he said, turning toward Joanna. We both looked at her as she sat back and took a swig off her beer bottle.

"I called your father because I had some information he needed to know. Something I had just learned. You see, Jake, my husband, and your mother had an affair before your parents moved. He was one of your mother's lovers."

"Wait!" I stopped her. "One of? As in there were more?"

All this clearly perturbed my father, but he kept his cool. Instead, he let Joanna continue.

"Unlike your mother, who was reasonably good at covering up, my husband was not. He had a trail of texts on his phone and emails. Also, pictures of them together. I found a text of her reminding him to save the photos on the cloud and erase their texts and pics from his phone. But Charlie is a procrastinating lazy idiot. He left it all there for me to find when he ran to the bathroom one day before he crapped his pants. I snatched the phone from the kitchen counter right before the screen timed out and got in it."

Mom and Charlie? I mean, he was a decent-looking guy. Still, so was dad. I wondered then when it had begun and why. Was it my dad's constant traveling?

"I had hints of him cheating on me," Joanna continued. "So getting a hold of his phone was like a window to his infidelity. Unlike Angie, he only had her as his cheating partner. I left the house with the phone and went to my sisters. He called from the landline and told me how he loved me. But I saw his messages saying he was tired of me and wanted to 'trade up' with Angie. But your mother would have none of it."

Come to think of it. I could not see mom trading dad for Charlie.

"She told him in her texts that she was enjoying her life of 'men on demand' I think she put it. That it had been fun, but she was moving to a different state and for him to call her if he was in town. Charlie had texted back that he could still hook up with her occasionally and hoped to change her mind. I think telling her he was younger and a good catch worked against him, though. Reminding a woman she is older is no way to get on her good graces."

"What did you do then?" I asked.

"Well, the first thing I did was see a lawyer to file for separation, pending divorce. The divorce was granted six weeks ago. But I'm getting ahead of myself. After the initial shock of it all, the denial and crying, I went through the anger and get-even stage. I was divorcing my husband and taking half of his assets. But I could not stand to know two things: That your mother had ruined my marriage. And that she was getting away with it by moving. But there was one more thing. An important thing. I felt for your father."

By now, my dad was looking at Joanna with a look I remember him having for mom. And she was looking back at him the same way. How long had it been that I had seen that look from my parents for each other? I could not remember. And that was painfully defining.

"So I called your dad and let him know everything. I shared the texts, emails, and pictures with him. I found a video of them on the cloud account, but her face was not on it. Your dad verified it was your mom."

I shook my head in shock, trying to take this all in, but it was overwhelming. Thoughts of mom having an affair, her having other men, video of her having sex! It was clear that my parents' marriage had gone off the rails sometime after my joining the army. This was not a recent development. Only the divorce was.

I needed them to get to the point. And I wanted to talk to mom.

"Dad, what did she say about all this when you confronted her?"

"I actually didn't confront her then," dad said. "I wanted to, but something told me to see a lawyer first. So I showed him everything, and he told me that since it had all happened in another state, divorce would be a half and half on assets at best. In this state, with evidence of infidelity, things were tricky. Depending on the judge, the split would be for what was earned before the first date of the infidelity. And to prove that, the investigators had to do a lot of work."

"What your father means," Joanna corrected dad. "Is that your mom had to commit some infidelity here in this state for that charge to stick."

"Yup," dad nodded as he continued. "Around then, I had to go on a trip that week for three days. I went to visit your grandmother, and she and I had some long talks. But I never told Angie where I was going. Your grandmother told me to be strong and do what was best for me. 'If I had done that to your grandfather, he would have every right to toss me on the side of the road and not stop.' she said.

"Old school thinking, dad," I said. "The world and divorce laws have changed since then."

"Ain't that the truth," Dad said before continuing. "Anyway, so I got a call later that first day that the investigators had evidence but were still collecting it as your mother had a guy over that night."

I lowered my head in shame that my own mother had behaved this way. It's always just a story when it is someone else's mother, wife, or sister. But also because I hadn't a clue, it was going on. What had possessed mom to behave this way?

"Did you watch it as it happened on your phone?" I asked.

Dad shook his head.

"Not at first. I went outside and screamed. My mom came out and held me as I cried and sobbed for an hour. Not my finest moment as a man," he confessed. "Something I hope to God you never go through."

He shook it off and continued.

"But on the second night, I forced myself to just to have that image burned in my head. I wanted to remember it for when she tried to lie to me about it being nothing serious and that she still loved me. It was the betrayal and lying that got to me, Jake."

"I understand, dad."

"See," he went on. "We have two neighbors that are swingers. They don't do anything without each other being there and approving. They don't lie and betray each other. If swingers can understand the concept of cheating, love, and respect for a spouse, your mother should have as well."

"I'll be talking to her about this," I said, shaking my head.

"But sadly, Jake, your mother thinks the rules of society do not apply to her."

They say that a short-term sociopath is a narcissist and that a long-term narcissist is a sociopath. Either way, they are both definitions of self-centered people who have no respect for others and societal rules. If my mother was doing this for a long time, she was a sociopath; or a narcissist at best.

"I saw her with a guy as young as you are having rough sex on a mattress in the garage. She encouraged him and taunted him to do more, if you get my drift. When he was done, she had marks on her body she did not bother to conceal when I returned. I would later find out that she had a different man there on the first night and a third one on the last night before I returned."

I had a hard time relating to all this. My mom? Was this the woman that raised my sister and me?

"This is something I have kept on my phone. It's for whenever I have those weak moments and miss our past together. Listen to it:

"Oh yeah," I recognized my mother moan over the sounds of bodies slapping. "Fuck me hard, baby..."

"Is this better than your husband?" the man asked sarcastically.

"Anyone would be better than my husband," mother said, and I cringed. "When we do it, he is phoning it in. No imagination. Slam bam, and over."

That part was clearly embarrassing to my dad because he stopped the recording. I wondered if he had intended me to hear that part. Probably not.

"Her loss my gain, baby," Joanna said and touched my dad's thigh to console him.

I know I should have cringed watching dad's new girlfriend 'woman-handle' him. Yet, at that moment, I began to like her. Unlike my mom, Joanna was there for my dad when he needed someone to boost his ego and care for him.

"Sorry to put you through this, Jake, but you need to hear this other part," dad restarted the recording.

"Doesn't he suspect?" the man asked my mother on the recording as the body slapping sounds continued. I tried to ignore it and focus on their conversation.

"I think he does, but I've been doing this for years, and he hasn't stopped me,"

At that point, my father stopped the recording for good.

"That part cost her a lot of money. The judge looked at her in the courtroom and smirked, knowing how that would play out when he gave his decision."

"So you got divorced already?" I asked, surprised I had missed it all.

"The divorce is final, Jake. The civil suit to find her assets overseas is not. But on a good note, she was not screwing coworkers. At least we never found proof of that. If she had, they would have fired her. We also never proved she screwed clients. That might have landed her in prison. Your mom has been good at covering her tracks. But I bet she is sweating it out and will until the property asset division suit is over."

"I assume it's not?" I asked.

They both smiled and shook their heads but said nothing.

"I presume you will meet your mother, and you will talk. I don't want you to know the particulars of the pending lawsuit or be involved in it. Her lawyers are sharks. So are mine, but I have told mine they can't drag you to testify against your mother."

"I have nothing to say," I replied. "All this is new to me."

I had been away when all this happened - what a mess. I could have asked my sister if she knew anything, but she and I were never that close for such a conversation.

"Be prepared, either way, Jake," Joanna said. "Divorces are ugly."

I turned to look at her then.

"And you, Joanna? What are your intentions with my father?"

"Jake," she said with a beaming grin. "Your father and I have made a pact. We plan on making up for the years of lost fun we missed out on being good parents. My girls will be joining me down here after their school year is over, and they will live with us. My mother may move here as well since the weather is better."

"Jake," dad added. "I don't know where life will take me, but I am not ready to get married, and I don't think Joanna is. Still, I love her company and plan to spend a lot of time with her."

"I see," I said, smiling back at them. "I want you to be happy, dad. Joanna, so long as you make him happy, I'll be a fan."

"Why, thank you, Jake," she said and reached over to kiss me on the cheek. I may have blushed; my dad was looking at me with this bemused grin.

"So, where is mother these days?" I asked.

"Here's her last known work address Jake," I hope you find her there, or they can steer you in the right direction. I have not talked to her since before I left for that trip to my mom's house."

I saw the website of my mother's affiliated real estate company and made a note of it. Then I thanked and hugged them both before taking my leave. As I drove off, I wondered how long Dad and Joanna would last together. Rebound relationships rarely do. I was glad they were not talking marriage.

Talking to mom

I left my dad's place, shaking my head at all I had heard. I had gone to fight in The Sandbox, thinking mom and dad were settling into empty-nester life. Only to come home and find them divorced. And from what my father, ex-neighbor, and the audiotapes showed, my mother had been the cause of it. What was I supposed to say to her?

But she was my mother after all. I had to visit her and get her side of it, at least. At least - what a defining phrase. Yes. It was the least I could do. Maybe the least I wanted to do. I did not understand how the loving mother I left behind when I entered the army had turned into this... stranger.

I was compelled to call my wife and tell her what I had learned. But I decided to do so after hearing from both sides instead. Still, I had questions about my wife's involvement in this. Had she known of my mother's infidelity? If not, had she seen any signs of it? Too late now, I guess. But Leila had said and written nothing about my parent's troubles to me while I was away. Still, military wives were reluctant to share bad news while their man was over there fighting. They wanted us focused so we could return alive.

And I was starting to question everything about my own marriage. I had left my wife alone home in my deployments, knowing Leila had a high sex drive, was pretty, and would eventually be lonely. When men hit on her, and they always did, had she been strong enough to resist? Had she been tempted? Had she succumbed? That was and is all soldier's nightmare.

I don't care how secure you are in yourself and your marriage, but when you find out that your mother was a cheater, it forces you to rethink everything. But that would have to wait until I talked to mom and flew to my wife and kids.

***

I went straight to my mother's office and asked to see her. The receptionist, a woman in her mid to late twenties, stared for a few seconds and then called my mom's number. It took a few moments, and my mom made a grand appearance.

I say appearance because this was not the mother I remembered. She was about twenty pounds lighter; her hair was now straight, long, and dyed blond. She wore a tight mid-length black skirt, black high heels, and a fashionable white and black polka dot blouse. Everything accented her new figure. She smiled at me, raised her arms open, and ran the last few feet to hug me.

"Oh, Jake!" she said as she held me close. "I missed you!"

It felt good for her to hold me. Like the mom that had hugged me all my life - you know... mother good. No matter what, she was still my mom, and I still loved her. Only now, my thoughts of her were tainted. The body I was hugging used to be for my dad to enjoy in private. Now I had thoughts of her with another man... other men.

She certainly had changed since we met last. Her hips were narrower, and her legs were more toned. Yet... something else seemed different about her.

"How are you, mom?" I asked, pulling back. "You lost weight."

"Yeah," she said, raising an eyebrow. "Do you approve?"

"So long as you are healthy and happy," I replied, following her to her office.

I noticed it was spacious and well furnished. On the walls, hung awards she had received for her professional accomplishments. There were also framed pictures of my and my sister's high school graduations - both alone and with my mother. There was also a picture of me in full uniform taken a year back with all my then decorations. A recent photo of my sister showed how much she had grown into a beautiful woman - a younger version of mom. And there was a picture of Leila and I together with mom. There were no pictures of dad at all.

"Let me get my stuff, and we can get out of here," she said. "Are you staying the night? What are your plans?"

"Well, mom, I haven't seen the kids and Leila in five months," I said politely. "I hope you don't mind, but I have a flight booked this evening. I just swung by to touch base with you before flying out."