Ahegao

Ahegao

(A lewd, orgasmic facial expression first popularized in Anime/Manga comics that has now become a cosplay/porn feature.)

I've heard addicts discuss the first time they experience whatever they became addicted to gambling, drinking, drugs or whatever and many of them describe a similar experience. They reveal that the first time they did the Thing that they felt a sensation of having found themselves. Somehow after a life of trying various personalities, sports, social groups, music or whatever, when they discovered the Thing they knew this was The One.

Mine was Ahegao.

My first boyfriend had a stack of Hentai comics in his room and we read them together exploring our first adult sensations.

I was instantly fascinated by the images of the female protagonists in the stories. As these heroines were put through all manner of sexual torment the drawings of their faces gave me feelings inside that nothing ever had before. Deep inside my brain a connection was made between those pretty faces drawn in exaggerated passion and the churning sexual hunger awakening within me as my boyfriend and I explored sex together.

At this early stage in the precarious creation of my adult female sexual identity those images of contorted female orgasm imprinted on how I understood my own pleasure. All my first partnered climaxes happened after the two of us read Hentai together, forever welding ahegao with ecstasy for me.

The ahegao expression shows that the subject of the drawing is experiencing a confusing mix of emotions; lust, shame, joy and passion while having an orgasm, one that has often been forced on her.

In my early explorations I attempted to bring myself to an orgasm that in some way replicated the feelings I projected onto those drawn faces.

As my body approached climax I found my thoughts drifted to the images of those faces and my own face contorted into an erotic grimace. My mouth gaped wide my tongue lolled out a perfect receptacle for a big load of sperm and I let my eyes roll back and cross while my boyfriends cock filled me.

It rarely worked in the beginning, my lover was as inexperienced as I but it opened a door that I could step through by myself.

I devoured as much Hentai and Manga media as I could and masturbated while imagining it was me in those situations dressed like those girls and being driven to unimaginable pleasure by outrageously large cocks.

When I found Instagram and cosplay I suddenly understood how I could become the woman I had always wanted to be. The internet became a place I could reveal my true self to an understanding audience without fear of my immediate friends and family seeing me.

My costumes and obsession with make-up found an audience and I indulged obsessively.

Now in my twenties I have tens of thousands of followers on various apps, some more risque than others. The ones I love the most have fans who enjoy watching me get off on posting sexy little videos of myself posing in... and out... of my costumes. My bashfulness means I always wear make-up, wigs and contact lenses for at least a little anonymity.

Exposing myself for the hundreds of daily paying followers I have gets me super horny and I masturbate a lot. When I cum I often record my face and do the exaggerated, goofy cum face that the girls in those porno comic drawings made. Opening my eyes wide, rolling them upward I cross them, stick my tongue way out and drool.

I often use a large vibrator and I think of bad things like sucking strangers cocks or being forced to perform sex acts in front of a crowd of people. And most often I imagine being drenched in cum. In my mind's eye my tongue is catching a heavy splash of jism as I make the face and cum for my camera. Its silly but I find it incredible sexy. And so do a lot of my followers. I doubt they believe I'm actually cumming when I do the face but that's the fantasy they're having when they watch. And I am usually filming a real climax.

I have trained my body to make the face when I cum, I don't even think about it at all. The face is inextricably linked to my orgasm now. Weirder still is that if I'm in the right mindset if I make the face I will climax immediately. They are usually tiny little orgasms but they make me sweat, lose my breath and my mouth fills with saliva.

I do it all the time when I make the face as I cosplay at conventions.

My friends and I are all cosplayers who go to various Anime and Hentai conventions in costume as our favourite characters. That's how I meet most of my friends and lovers. When I'm single I usually prowl the cons looking for cute guys with big bulges in awesome costumes.

I get a real thrill from flaunting my toned little body in skimpy outfits. The stares of all the horny guys get me hot and I love to pose with them in photos, having them press themselves against me trying to get as close and feel as much of me as they can. I love the game of being shy and innocent while teasing them.

I reward great costumes by cumming for them.

I'll only do the face for the best costumes or the very cutest guys. At the cons it is a secret type of currency and they seem to understand it is a reward to be coveted and not given lightly. The guys love it and I love doing it.

I love doing it because each and every time I make the face at a con I climax. I only do it when I'm truly excited by the situation and the cameras are pointed at me. When it all comes together I pant and pulse my body, my tongue lolling and I roll my eyes for a few seconds before I start cumming and the face deepens, drool falling off my tongue while they cheer and I orgasm for them.

I seriously doubt they know my ecstasy is real but the secret thrill of it increases with each face.

My own cosplay is all over the spectrum but my most popular costumes are teeny tiny versions of popular anime characters. The more skin I show the more attention I get obviously, and getting attention is the point.

I was cripplingly shy as a child and when puberty hit I got worse. I didn't develop physically as quickly as some of the girls and I felt like I was being left behind. It hadn't occurred to me that being a ballet dancer and having the low-grade eating disorder dance brought with it wasn't helping my body grow.

Early on the only time I ever felt happy inside my own skin was when I was in a dance recital. It wasn't the dancing that made me happy it was having something to do in front of people that I had practiced and could be confident that I knew. I could get over my anxiety about being the centre of attention if I had a costume and some choreography to do. That gave me the courage to to revel in the desired attention of all those people.

That was even easier to achieve once I discovered social media. Having the ability to curate my photos and create a reality where I was always beautiful, sexy and perfectly lit was glorious.

As my social media output grew I worked-out and dieted obsessively, always trying to find the healthiest way to achieve the optimum look in my passion for attention. Being these fantastical characters, dressing sexy, doing my make-up and putting on those glorious, ridiculous wigs was my only joy.

But it wasn't enough.

Each 'like' on my pics was a small pleasure. High numbers added up to a larger pleasure but it was still small. Increased pleasure came from taking risks and showing my sexual pleasure. But it was still a secret pleasure, not overt.

I wanted to expose my perversion. I wanted to share my deepest fantasies. I wanted to be one of those drawings. I wanted to see video of myself experiencing lust, shame, joy, and humiliation while having an orgasm just like my heroines in the comics.

How do you ask for something so intimate, so specifically erotic from a partner?

I have learned it isn't difficult now but as a young woman it seemed impossible. I could hardly even speak to people when I wasn't in costume so expressing my sexual needs was torment.

My boyfriends didn't last long. I found them all lacking a few of the essential requirements I needed for an ideal sexual partner. It took a while to put this list together but I eventually discovered what I was looking for was a photographer who loved Hentai got off on ahegao and domination play as well as having a substantial cock.

Not a long list, but really tricky to find.

Five features.

I often found three. Most were fine with the Hentai because it was an outwardly obvious shared interest and lots of them loved taking my picture to some extent. I haven't slept with a man yet who wouldn't play with some dom/sub stuff so that was easy and usually allowed for my ahegao face but the last one was the most difficult to find.

A substantial cock.

I'm only five foot two and quite petite so you'd think a big cock would be easy to find but I don't want just a big cock, although I like that too, I need a huge cock to get me to the places I want to go sexually.

I found that out when I was at a con and saw a guy with a noticeably big cock.

He was dressed as Miles Morales' Spiderman and I was dressed as Mikoto Misaka from many, many shows, comics and games. My Mikoto outfit was a uniform but adapted to be more overtly sexual. The skirt was tiny, which was fun, but Mikoto usually wears shorts under her skirt so I had to find tiny white shorts that were sexy and skimpy to peek out from under my minuscule skirt.

On top I had a small, translucent short-sleeve dress-shirt and a far-too-tight sweater-vest that matched the skirt. They were both short with the bottoms buttons undone so my flat, toned tummy was on full display.

I had a signature Mikoto hair clip in a chestnut brown wig styled in Mikotos's slightly shaggy cut. I slouchy white socks and little black flats on my feet completing the look. It was a cute outfit that got some attention because my legs and stomach were on display but really it was the make-up that made the outfit.

I painted my face to be pale and unblemished, then made my eyes seem a large as possible and wore special contact lenses in bright unrealistic brown, my cheeks exaggeratedly blushed to look flushed and my lips pale, pink but extremely glossy. The kind that looks glossy but stays dry, its expensive but worth it.

The unique feature that no-one else did was I wore glittery little rhinestones carefully placed so that when my face was resting they just looked like cute sparkles but when I stuck my tongue out and rolled my eyes it was clearly the glitter of fluid spattering across my ahegao face from chin to forehead.

Only certain costumes got that face so only a few photos lined up properly so that my sparkles looked like spattered cum but I had found a few and they were awesome.

I had been going to cons for years by that time, basically growing up there and I had seen a bazillion Spiderman costumes so I didn't care about that particular dude at all until my friend said something.

"I think that Spiderman has a big cock..."

She said it emotionlessly, just observing something interesting amidst the over-stimulation we were both experiencing.

The two of us were standing just outside a big convention room posing for photos. I was mostly doing my best to be beautiful and perfect in my poses. I scroll Instagram for hours looking for pictures of myself people have taken and liking ones I look good in. I've practiced holding everything perfectly in place so that any pic from any angle should look as much like the character as I can manage.

It takes a tremendous amount of physical stamina and my dance training was perfect for giving me strength and the ability to hold myself in weird poses with a minimum of effort.

All that to say I was in the zone and hadn't seen which Spiderman she meant. Then suddenly he was next to us and between us for some photos. I think we had taken four or five shots before I noticed.

These photos briefly became a bit of a meme in our circle of friends later, (None of them know what happened next. you'll be first.) but there is a series of photos- two from one photographer and one from another- that clearly capture the moment I notice how big Spiderman's cock is.

He had squatted in a Spiderman pose below us while Nancy and I did cute peace sign pics above him. Then he stood and did a cutsie double peace sign so Nancy and I squatted in a Spiderman pose. I loved spreading my legs and exposing my little white shorts under my skirt. I looked over at her to see what Nancy's pose was and I suddenly saw this massive cock squeezed into his spandex suit.

The somewhat famous series of three pics start with one camera shooting from straight ahead from about ten feet. The first shot shows me confused, his cock about four inches from my face. Its hilarious. I look adorable and the light is hitting his cock and highlighting how big it is.

Flaccid.

The second shot my eyes are lit up and wide with surprise and my mouth is a big "Oh" of shock with a tiny hint of smile that shows my happiness. His cock is still shiny and big in his tights.

The original picture is all three of us; Spiderman being funny, Nancy looking adorable but unaware of what I am doing and me having a profoundly erotic moment. A popular edited version is cut in tighter on me and his bulge.

If you haven't seen it, which is likely even though its well known in my scene, I'll try and describe it. It shows my whole head and his body from mid-thigh to solar plexus. His shaft is angled under his costume to point toward my open mouth. If he were naked his knob would be about three inches from my bottom lip.

For whatever reason the lights are really shiny in these shots, my eyes are gleaming with bright hot points of light, my glittery rhinestones look brilliant and my glossy lips are gleaming perfectly.

At the same time the bright highlights of light shining off Spiderman's spandex illuminate the contours of his cock in vivid detail. The bulb of his knob is obvious, the length of his shaft abundantly clear and the girth of his sack inescapable.

Obviously I have gazed at these pictures a lot.

The final and most notorious photo among my friends is from another camera and its one of my favourite pictures of me in existence and that's saying something.

This photographer was standing closer, about five feet away just to Nancy's right. He had been taking close-ups of her and must have noticed me or just luckily he caught this moment because the next three photos in his series are of Nancy again.

The picture in question is a close up of me from slightly above and five feet away. I am not looking at the camera but my face is perfectly angled toward him as I give my best ahegao face. I remember looking at Spiderman's package and feeling a very real, very powerful stab of deeply primal lust. I slipped into my ahegao face instinctively even letting drool slip off my tongue.

The photo captures it perfectly. Spiderman's penis is still clearly well lit and my face is a classic example of the ahegao genre; wet tongue lolling, a single glittering pearl of moisture dripping from the tip. My eyes look huge, mostly white with the tiny hint of iris crossed at the top, face painted to look flushed and passionate with gleaming rhinestones glittering like droplets of wetness spattered across my features.

The angle of the photo aligns Spiderman's knob and my cascade of sparkles making it appear as if he were jetting glittery sperm down over my climaxing face.

That photo was my desktop background for two years.

Back then Nancy found the shots first searching hashtags after the con.

We shared it over and over and we all howled at what a perfect Ahegao pic it was.

I still masturbate to it occasionally.

But those weren't the only photos I got from that con. Nor were they they only ones of me and that big-dicked Spiderman.

Half an hour later a big panel happened and most of the floor cleared out. Nancy went for food and at some point I went to the bathroom. As I was coming out I saw that same Spiderman coming out of the men's room right next to mine.

Seeing his massive cock stuffed into his tight suit I did it again, I made my face having a spontaneous orgasm at the sight of his package and he noticed me.

"Hey! Thanks for the pics." He said.

"You have them?" I asked panting in awkward recovery.

"Yeah. I had a buddy use my camera. I love anime too, I recognized Mikoto and Kuroko. Although you two are way sexier than they are."

"Thanks!" I gushed. I felt embarrassed and squishy around him. I couldn't stay in character, I was reverting to my shy self. My tingling pussy was really distracting me, that orgasm and the proximity of the cause was overwhelming. I was trying not to look down at his bulge but I couldn't help it.

He pulled a nice digital camera out from a bag he had around his shoulders and started scrolling back to find the shots of us. I was leaned as close as I dared my bare thigh sliding along his spandex covered one, my side pressed to his back, my breast brushing his arm. My skin tingled where we touched and I grew short of breath from lust for a man whose face I'd never seen.

His camera was the one that caught my ahegao.

When I saw it my aching pussy actually twitched deep inside. My breathe caught and I trembled, which he obviously felt.

"It's great isn't it? You look stunning!"

It did look stunning. One of my favourite to this day. But I wasn't looking at my face. My reaction was to seeing his abundant package next to my face. Even on a screen only a few inches wide it captivated me. I needed to see it fully hard.

I said, "We can do better."

"Well, I dunno, its pretty fantastic."

"It should be real."

My stomach was fluttery and I had never felt more nervous in my life but my voice sounded totally calm, even sexy.

"What?" He moved to look at me face to face.

"I want to do a real one." I sounded determined and confident like I did things like that all the time.

"A real ahegao...?" He said the word correctly, if hesitantly. He knew.

"I want real cum on my face, please." Now I sounded insecure. I sounded meek and there was a hint of pleading in my voice that was so real my body shuddered.

"Um..."

We were standing between the large entrances to the communal washrooms, people were passing us constantly.

There was also a separate handicap bathroom right there.

I'm not proud that we used a safe space for this but I reached out one hand to the handle of the door and turned the lever. The door opened and I went inside. I held the door for Spiderman and he followed like he was in a daze. I know I was in one.

A series of my long cherished fantasies were about to come true. I was going to have anonymous sex at a con. Check. I was going to get fucked in costume. Check. I was going to take a real ahegao video while I climaxed from fucking a massive cock. Check. And I was going to let him cum on my face and take a photo.

Click.

The door latched behind him and I fell to my knees and reached up to his cock. Just before I touched him my hands hesitated. Consent. Submission. Insecurity. It was all of these.

"Please?" was what I asked my voice small and bashful.

"Yes" is what he hissed from behind his mask, his voice husky and thin with tension.

My little hands began to stroke him through his costume, kneading the stiffening member I found beneath the spandex. I had never fondled a cock so hot, so heavy and so big. For a few moments I squeezed and groped him, fascinated by the sensation of so much manhood.

Leaning forward I gave in to my most primal lust and I pressed my face to him knocking rhinestones off my skin. I didn't care the hot hardening meat pressed to my cheek and lips was hypnotizing me. I could feel it happening. My point of view was closing in and all I could see or consider was this beautiful cock.