AI Era: The Big "O"

This was submitted for the 2022 "AI: A New Era" Author Challenge.

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AI Era: The Big O

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With his heart racing and butterflies fluttering is his belly from excitement, Max entered his house, gently laid the special package down on the sofa and went in to see his wife.

"Hey, Honey, how was your day?" Max asked her when they met in the kitchen.

"Oh, was OK, I guess. I did make some headway on the novel, but not as much as I had hoped," answered Kelly, "I eventually gave up and decided to tidy up the kitchen."

"That tells me you really were frustrated with the writing. Let's forget fixing dinner and order something delivered."

"Great idea. I'm not sure I could handle cooking or cleaning up. I could use a glass of wine while we wait. You?"

"Sure, a little one. Let's have Asian from the Thai Palace, OK?"

"Yeah. You order, I'll get the wine. You know what I like and don't forget to tell them brown rice, not white."

"Got it."

After a glass of wine and a nice spicy meal, they both felt much better and she was clearly more relaxed. After throwing the trash away, she wandered into the living room and saw the package in the corner.

"What's this, Hon?"

"Oh, some little thing we've been building at work," he smiled nervously.

"Why'd you bring it home?"

"Uh, well, the guys wanted me to have it tested. It's pretty much in a beta phase now and we need some subjects to test it on."

"Subjects? Like a person? Who? Me?"

"Yeah, a person. And you, definitely you."

"Now you've got me curious. What is it?"

"Here, let me show you," he answered as he gently opened the box to pull out an odd-looking contraption with several wires attached. It was like something she'd never seen. "This is called the Biometrically Integrated Genital Osculator."

"The what!?"

"The Biometrically Integrated Genital Osculator. I know you're not a computer geek, but I think you understand most of it."

"Yeah, I got the genital part. The rest, well, not so much."

"OK, here's what it is. We use biometrics to adjust the genital osculator."

"Now what the fuck does an osculator do?"

"Osculate is a medical term for 'kissing'."

"Wait a cotton-pickin' minute. You're telling me this thing is a machine which dines down at the Y?"

"No, it is way more than that, but we liked the name."

"Why? Oh, wait, I know. You guys love acronyms. So, this is the Bi Go. What is a Bi Go, anyway?"

"You've mispronounced it. We call it the Big O, with emphasis on the O."

"Oh, I get it. Cute. So, this thing is a super vibrator or something?"

"Way, waaay more than just a vibrator. This thing is designed to lick, suck, probe, blow, stroke, vibrate and you name it, to give a world-class orgasm."

"And you brought this home to test on me?"

"Yeah. The guys at the lab all thought you'd be the one to try it. Most of them have only casual girlfriends, if any at all and they said you'd be the best one..."

"What about Janelle? Why didn't she volunteer?"

"Well, we talked about it but Janelle, as you know, is the only female in our lab and is unattached. We need someone to observe the whole process and report back and none of us felt comfortable watching her, you know, when she used it..."

"I bet she wasn't terribly interested in having one of you geeky guys watch her either."

"Yeah, you're right. She told us she'll be glad to test it later before we go to sell them, but we need observational feedback right now. So, you're it. OK?"

"I don't know. Tell me a little more about it."

"Well, basically it takes feedback from your physiology, you know, heart rate, breathing, voice, movement, all those things and uses AI to change what it does to you. It might gently lick you. It might put a dildo into you. It can suck the clit or blow on it. The dildo can vibrate and even twist and pivot on a base. It's got anal capabilities also."

"Can it get me pregnant?" laughed Kelly, "It can sure do all the rest."

Max chuckled at her little joke before going on, "Wanna try it?"

"Now?"

"Uh, it's Friday evening and we can at least get the data entered and show you all the functions, but then do a real test run tomorrow."

"OK. What data needs to be entered?"

Max pulled out her computer which she logged on before he spent a few minutes fiddling around with the computer and a tiny keyboard on the device. "Gotta hook-up the Wi-Fi first. Here, it seems to be communicating fine. Now I've got to download the questionnaire." A few seconds later he seemed satisfied and turned to her. "There's a list of questions and we'll go through these slowly. It's important you answer them correctly so the AI function can do the right job for you. I'll log in the data as we go. Ready? So here goes.

"Name? I recommend a pseudonym."

"Hot Mamma."

"Nice. OK, next: What is your sexual orientation? Completely heterosexual, mostly hetero, bisexual, mostly lesbian or totally lesbian?"

"That's easy. Mostly hetero."

"Really? I would have thought..."

"Max, Honey, I can appreciate the female form much like a guy can. And I might have had a little fun exploring things when I was in college," she giggled.

"You never told me that!"

"You never asked."

"Who was it?"

"Oh, you don't know her. She was a year ahead of me at the sorority and was gone by the time I met you. A completely 'out there' bisexual."

"So, what'd you do, you know, for fun?"

"A lot of fingering and boy did she have nice fingers. A couple of times we did some Australian kisses, you know, oral sex. She taught me a lot about that, things I long ago taught you to try on me."

"You ever do strap-ons?"

"Nah. We both figured if we wanted it, we could get the real thing any time at the frat next door."

"Boy, I'm learning a lot about you tonight," he mused. "OK, the next questions are about masturbation. Which position do you prefer to be in when you masturbate? On your back? On your stomach? Sitting up? Other?"

"Definitely on my back."

"When masturbating without a toy, do you use one or two fingers? Three or four? Your entire palm?"

"Two fingers."

"Name all areas you like to stimulate: Clit? Labia? Internally/G-spot? Taint? Anus? Nipples?"

"Definitely the clit," she laughed, "But also I like two handed-work with one or two fingers inside on the G-spot. Labia and taint, not so much. Anus occasionally. Nipple play tends to remove a good hand from the pelvis, so not so much there, either."

"Let me log it in...OK. Got it. Uh, next. When masturbating, what is the fastest you can climax? Less than five minutes? Five to ten? More than ten?"

"Well, you know if I've been reading a nice bodice-ripper, I can be ready to go inside of two minutes, so the answer is 'Less than five'."

"Uh-huh. OK. Now we talk about toys. Do you use toys with masturbation? I know you do, so I'll put that in. Which toys do you use? Check yes to all you use: Dildo? Vibrating dildo? Simple, small finger vibrator? Curved vibrator? Rabbit vibrator? Rabbit vibrator with anal probe? Couples vibrator? Other?"

"I have, as you know, two vibrators. The simple, small vibrator for clit-play and the rabbit which has the vaginal part move up and down while vibrating inside and on the clit."

"You really like that one, don't you? Let me fill this in... OK. Now on to the next question: Have you ever used a sybian?"

"Yeah, actually I have. A few times. Well, maaaybee a bit more than that."

"Really? You have?"

"Uh-huh."

"When?"

"Also in college. It was at our sorority house."

"You girls had a sybian? What'd you do, pass it around?"

"No. It was a reward item. For example, if you got straight A's, you'd get to use it for two thirty-minute sessions. It sure helped improve our GPA's. In fact, our sorority won the Dean's Award for the highest GPA of all the sororities every quarter I was there."

"No wonder! Anything else get you to use it?"

"Yeah. Being a designated driver for two different outings and you'd get another thirty minutes. Oh, and the big one: The sister who earned the most money in a charity fund-raising campaign would get four thirty-minute sessions."

"I bet that was popular!"

"You know it. One gal even kicked in fifty bucks of her own money to put her earnings on top. She said it was the best fifty dollars she ever spent. So, any more questions about sybians?"

"Uh, yeah. What intensity of the vibrations do you generally prefer: low, medium or high?"

"Usually medium, I'd say. Anything more than that could get to be a bit too much."

"Do you ever use the swiveling action of the dildo and if so, how intense is the action?"

"Yes, the swiveling was pretty wild and again, I liked it about medium."

"Do you ever use the DP function?"

"DP?"

"Yeah, double penetration with an anal probe."

"Once or twice but it was quite small in diameter and it vibrated just as intensely as the vaginal unit."

"Boy, I'm learning a lot about you and about your sorority, too."

"Hey, we had a good time and the sybian helped keep our grades up. And no one ever knew. We had to keep it secret so don't go blabbing about it to anybody, please."

"Oh, I won't. Say, who was in charge of the thing, anyway?"

"The house mother and the sorority president had to both sign off before anyone could use it. It was kept locked in the dedicated syb room."

"I see. So, the next questions are about cunnilingus: Of the following locations, are there any you do NOT like to have tongue action on: Clit? Labia? Vaginal opening? Taint? Anus?"

"Nope, I like them all."

"Which do you like the most and which do you like the least?"

"Clit, obviously and for the least, I'd have to say the taint."

"Why? That's my question, not the form's."

"Taint play misses the mark. Either stimulate the vagina and clit or the anus, but the taint, well, it just doesn't do a lot for me."

"OK. How do you like tongue action? Answer all which apply. Long, slow strokes? Short, quick licks? Alphabet writing?"

"Alphabet writing? What's that?"

"You know, some people like the tongue to write the alphabet on the clit which changes the stroke direction and pressure constantly."

"Nope, never liked that. Put down 'long, slow strokes', OK?"

"Sure. How much pressure do you like with tonguing? Light? Medium? Hard? Combinations of the above?"

"Medium at first, harder at the end."

"Let me put it in here, give me a few secs. Uh huh, that ought to do it. OK, on to anal. Have you ever had anal sex or used a life-sized dildo anally?"

"No. Too much to handle."

"Have you ever used a smaller anal toy or a finger?"

"Yes. Finger, definitely, you know that. A few times I've used the rounded tip of a medium-sized marker."

"Aren't you afraid it would get lost, you know, slip up inside?"

"No, I hang onto it like crazy!"

"OK. Uh, Do you use a vibrator anally? Is it enjoyable?"

"The little one, yeah, rarely. But like the pen, I'm worried it might slip up inside so I don't use it too often. You know, you're probably thinking I do nothing but stay at home and jill off," she laughed.

"No, I don't. But clearly you do masturbate and we need these answers for the Big O. OK, on to the next questions. Do you partake in intercourse? Well, I know you do, so I'll put that in here. Uh, What are your favorite positions? Check all which apply: Missionary? Cowgirl? Reverse cowgirl? Doggy style? Spooning? Standing? Couch cowgirl? Butterfly?"

"Wow, uh, most of them, I guess, but what are couch cowgirl and butterfly exactly?"

"Couch cowgirl is you sitting on my lap facing me when I'm on a couch with my legs down. Butterfly is you lying on your back, legs down off the bed and I kneel in front of you and enter you. We've done both a few times."

"OK, so I like them all, don't get me wrong, but my favorites are cowgirl where I'm in control and doggy style when your cock bangs into my G-spot."

"I figured as much. Ask a guy and he'll tell you he loves them all."

"I thought guys liked BJs the most."

"We do, I'll admit, but for sex positions, most of us will take any of them."

"You're just happy to get laid," she giggled.

"You're absolutely right. OK, I think we've about covered it. Oh, only a few more questions. Do you like edging?"

"You mean being taken to the edge, getting teased there and not be allowed to orgasm? Yeah, it's OK up to a point. Eventually it can be too much."

"Are you multiorgasmic and if so, easily or with difficulty?"

"Yes, but as you know, it takes the right circumstances."

"After orgasm is your clit numb? Super sensitive? Or Normal?"

"Pretty much normal. I'm good to go again if that's what you're asking."

"Is there anything not been covered above which may be important to help the Big O?"

"Uh, I know this has been all about stimulation but the one thing it's not covered is the mental stimulation. You know, the dirty book being read before coming to bed with you, watching a little bit of porn or even simply holding you, kissing, foreplay, you know."

"No, I get it all that stuff is important but we can't have the Big O do everything. Sexually responsive robots are still a way in the future. But you can still read your bodice rippers with the manly Scotsmen or watch the porn of your choice before you use the Big O. In fact, it might be something you can try and give us feedback on. OK?"

"Yeah, I'll do that. So, when do we do this, this Big O anyway?"

"Well, it's getting kinda late and I'll need to be awake to check all the data and make sure it is functioning correctly. Tonight may not be the best time."

"What about regular sex, huh?"

"Maybe not. I want to have your test with at least twenty-four hours of no orgasms."

"How do you know I didn't jill off this afternoon?"

"Did you?"

"Well, no, I didn't. But you're turning me down for sex! Now that's a new one!" she laughed.

"Yeah, first time ever, huh?"

"All this talk about toys and eating out has gotten me pretty frisky. You sure about tonight?"

"Yeah, unfortunately I am."

"OK, since tomorrow will be all about me, can I at least give you a Slurpee now?"

"Honey, you'll never have to ask me twice," he answered as he tugged her gently towards the bedroom.

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The next morning dawned cold and cloudy. Max was pleased as it meant they would not waste a nice day staying inside testing the Big O. Kelly wakened with a tingle of apprehension, however, as she began to think about the test run. What was going to happen? Would she enjoy it? Would it hurt if the thing misfired? How could she direct it to do what she liked? These and many more questions raced through her mind as she stretched out on the bed until Max brought her coffee.

"Here it is, just like you want it. Dash of cream, spoon of sugar. What would you like for breakfast?"

"I'm not too hungry. Kinda too nervous to eat."

"You gotta eat. You'll need your energy, at least I hope you will."

"Now you're getting me more nervous. How about scrambled eggs and toast?"

"Sure, coming right up."

After they had eaten, Max suggested she take a shower explaining some of the sensors needed good skin contact. While she was finishing up, he took a quick one as well before setting up the bed with a towel-covered pillow in the middle.

"Are we doing this in here?"

"Yeah, I thought it might make the most sense. I'll keep the curtains closed so it won't be too light and bother you. How about some soft, instrumental music?"

"No, it might distract me. Let's keep it quiet, you know?"

"OK. Sit down and I'll be right back." He returned a few minutes later with the computer and Big O to find her sitting nude off to the side. Max loved looking at his wife. She was a beautiful brunette with large doe eyes, desirable breasts and a figure to die for. He often wondered how he was so lucky to convince her to marry him. And here she was willing to be a subject for their new invention. He realized he was still crazy in love with her, maybe even more than when they got married.

"Jeez, Honey, you're being naked is going to make me forget all about the Big O," he chuckled. He opened her computer and once he was logged on, he placed the device on the bed next to her.

"Now, Kel, this has voice recognition, so we need to train it to understand your voice. Repeat after me all of the following: My name is Hot Mamma and I want to meet Big O."

"My name is Hot Mamma and I want to meet Big O."

"More." "More."

"Harder." "Harder."

"Not so much." "Not so much."

And for the next few minutes Max would read a statement and Kelly would repeat it. Finally, a tiny icon popped up on the computer reading: Voice recognition complete.

"OK, we've got it. Now this can run on batteries but I'm going to plug it in to make sure it doesn't run low." Once it was plugged in, he brought the forest green device to her. "OK, let me explain the various parts. It will sit between your legs, this side to the front. This wire connects to the cardiopulmonary sensor. This little device can easily stick to the skin and reads heart rate, respiratory rate, flushing of the skin and even systolic blood pressure, that's the top blood pressure number. This wire attaches lightly to your temple and reads brain wave activity primarily of the sensual cortex. And this tiny probe slips into the vagina and records moisture. Lastly, this wire attaches to your thigh and measures muscle tension which increases as you close in on an orgasm."

"What's this one with the two cups?"

"Those are the nipple osculators, or as we call them, the 'nipulators.' You know, combines 'nipple' with 'osculator'. They fit on your nipples and can vibrate, lick and suck."

"In that tiny thing? Can't be!"

"Watanabe spent over two years back in Japan studying microtechnology and he's designed some amazing things for this. And yes, all three functions are in each cup. The rim is slightly sticky so they won't easily fall off."

"What about the main unit?"

"OK, here's where it gets exciting, well, uh, for us from a design standpoint and for you as a subject. These straps will hold the device snug up to you. We were going to use suspender-like straps but they interfered with the nipulators. We figured out having crossing straps over the hips would work as well and not interfere with anything. Now the main attraction, the 'clitulator' is here along the middle, the part that fits up to the Promised Land," he chuckled. "Up front is the vibrating tongue which is also driven by three tiny motors which can change licking motions. It's made of a soft latex, has tiny bumps and ridges, kinda like ribbed condoms, for added pleasure. It has a tiny pore at the tip and can lightly blow on the clit or push out some lubricant, should it be needed. Aaand, it can even suck on the clit."

"Wow, pretty fancy."

"Wait 'til you see this. We call it the 'vagulator.' It too can self-lubricate if you're too dry. Remember the probe will keep telling Big O if you need more lube."

"It's pretty small..."

"Ah, that's where the fun starts. It is small both in length and diameter but when it is activated, it can inflate up to three times the diameter and go from a tiny little nub to a full seven inches. When you start, it won't even penetrate you, that comes later when it determines the correct time. And, if that's not enough, it vibrates, swivels and can even curl up to thirty degrees to stimulate the G-spot."

"How do I tell it what to do?"

"Well, you could talk to it, but it shouldn't be necessary. The AI portion should be reading all the physiologic parameters and change things based on your response and what your history of responses has been. It's designed to improve the more times you use it."