by DoubleH55
Could make weight or tape in the military.
Oh, wait, you were referring to the Chair Force, weren't you?
And then they were kicked out for adultery because throwing it in the husband's was a dumb idea.
from the first paragraph it was a Male "BBW fan" writing. ugh... Always push to the se scene... ugh
People in the Air Force are not called soldiers, they are Air men or Air women. Soldiers is reserved for those in the Army. If you are going to write about the miltary, do your research.
It's clear that you're a new writer and like all newcomers, you have a lot of room to grow. Don't mind the negativity from those who have no valuable criticism to offer and please don't let it deter you from what you want to write. This story was lacking and felt rushed and there were errors, but those can be fixed. From one writer to another, I urge you to keep at it!
Dont listen to GermanChocolate and her ilk, they only love BDSM themed stories about skinny, ass-less Women into abuse, humiliation, pain... They cant stand an erotic lesbian sex story with curvy real Women. I love your stroies so keep writing.
Members of the USAF are called Airman. Period. Lots of inaccuracies with regard to military, so as previously stated, don't write about it if you don't know about it. Including the fact it's a crime in the military for a married member to have sex with someone other than their spouse.
The two characters are French , Renee and Line . Line's name is spelled wrong , it should be Lynn . Junior ranks Mess Hall is a term for the Private to Master Corporals to eat and Socialize . The 12 year Medal is a Canadian Medal . I don't know if there is an American version .
You started out OK. Read a few more stories and pick up how they write. I was good with the story until you got towards the sex part and then you just seemed to have stopped and changed scenes. You needed to add more detail and make it longer.
You could have left out the red dress bar scene and 3 weeks vacation or added much more detail.
I do encourage you to keep writing