All Comments on 'Airport Security Pt. 01'

Goos start, I look forward to more of this story.

It was hot. Some errors on the structure and grammar, sure. But great first description. Excited for another chapter.

Extremely hot story

The writing is quite poor. It reads like those (what I thought was surely) joke Twitter comments of how men write. The descriptions are clunky and repetitive, there is some lazy writing (description of what they did in one line, then just say for 15 minutes afterwards - either give us a description for those 15 minutes, or just say it went on for a while instead of timing it) and it's obvious the writer doesn't know how women's bodies work - the mention of lactation made that really clear. There are ways to incorporate it without it being so clunky.

You may have had a good idea, but the execution needs serious work.