All Comments on 'Alan Ch. 13'

Julian,

I have genuinely enjoyed your story of Alan. I do hope that you continue with this story. Each day I read and just as the storyline has me on the edge of my seat, it ends! Alas, the pain of waiting another day. :) I am curious where you see Chad ending up in this. Is he going to be cut soon? Is Pauline and Kate going to become one with Alan guiding this threesome? Will Alan ultimately face any consquences for his new powers and the actions he has done over the last 3 chapters. (i.e. deflowering the Queen and not wiping her memory, being cocky with Kate's parents when he talks to them as it pertains to Kate, and finally the student counselor). Idle musings on my part.

Keep up the work,

SmMale

I love Kate's explaination, and also all the chapters. I like stories that last, and this is definatly one of the best ones. Keep going.

While I love the story I could not help feeling sorry for Thad. His only fault seemed to be dating a girl who was bitchy to Alan, it is never really explained what he did to deserve this.

i dont understand why alan is such a dick to chad. dude just had the wrong girl at the wrong time. it shows a kind of dark side of alan that i dont really like. but still a great story!

Poor Little Chad the Football King and all around ass. He gets taken down and loses a girl he was never going to keep anyways. Kate would have found another and Chad would have moved on and Partied at the Frats and found another to keep him Warm.

The series started out with Alan wanting to be ethical and mortal in use of his gift. But that idea quickly fell off the radar with his first abuse and rape of Kate. He since raped several others and has been complete jackass to Chad whose only crime was being a lackluster boyfriend. He did not doing anything to deserve the treatment Alan has been giving him.

Alan himself seems to lack any real personality. His demeanor and his actions are more those of an automaton or even a sociopath. So I guess the series is about corruption from power; in the beginning Alan seemed like a decent guy, caring, social, reasonably kind. But once he got this thing in him his actions have been more and more harmful and outright evil. So Alan is not meant to be a hero then.

That would be fine but you have made him unlikable with no personality nor charisma.

But i'm agreeing with the guy that said Alan's become a douche and rapist and has no real personality anymore. I'm gonna read on but if Alan doesn't start to gain some sort of morality/humanity I'll stop. "power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely" ...though sometimes you hope someone can weather the storm :(

I don't like what he did to chad and for no good reason.

I really love the way that Kate opens up to him at the end. Great stuff, really. I'm a pretty jaded guy and that even managed to hit my "awe" button. I agree though that Chad got a raw deal, he's never really demonstrated any horrible behavior and his only real failing is that he's bad in bed and was dating Kate. I think the stand up thing on Alan's part would have been to hook him up with some pretty girl and insure that she'd always regard Chad as some kind of sexual prodigy regardless of his aptitude. Maybe even the prom queen once Alan was done with her (just so we don't confuse Alan for a saint here).

Looking forward to seeing where Kate and Alan's relationship goes.

I love this series. I think it's a masterpiece worth being in the hall of fame.

While this really is a fantastic story Alan has officially become a complete cocksucker. The shit with Chad I could easily forgive. Hell I already got over the way things started with Kate but no two ways about it he raped the cheerleader whatever her name was. Complete and utter douche. However it is very well written and I will continue to read it A: in the hopes he smartens the fuck up and B: if nothing else than to see it through

Alan is a serial rapist!!!!

Stealing a girl's cherry that she's trying to preserve is just about the most disgusting misuse of power. Shame on you for trying to gain tittilation from it.

Erica...Homecoming Queen...did she really deserve Alan's attentions like that?? Her virginity, taken like that?? Was she gonna give it to her boyfriend that night, anyway...or was it still gonna be guarded?? Guess we will never know...

I do not think Alan should have done that...but rationalize his not using physical force; still, Erica deserved to be left alone by him.

The last part of the chapter, where Kate opens up...THAT was truly a moment of hurt...her admission that she is a mean person and does not like herself; self-esteem issues are TOO PREVALENT, and lead to bad behavior like hers. Alan may not be the "Best Thing" for her, but it seems like he is helping her improve herself (which is the ONLY way one can actually change, from the inside, out!!)

Instill hate the references to Pauline's ravaging/loss of her virginity...that chapter is missing, and leaves a gaping hole in the tale!

Still, Five**5**Stars...

If it was your intention to let your "hero" become a pure, low-life asshole, so that you can lead him to redemption at a later date, you could have done it with fewer words. You risk losing your audience if Alan is irredeemable.

Poor Chad. But honestly what is he still doing with her? Just leave already. He's putting himself through this torture that won't end unless he leaves. He's already lost Kate and won't ever get her back. He's a popular good-looking guy that can have just about any girl so what the fuck is he doing wasting his time like this torturing himself? Honestly it's kind of funny, almost as much as it is pitifully sad. Alan does seem to be rubbing it in something fierce. Kind of a dick move.

The downright fanatical passion in Kate's obedience and devotion to Alan is quite beautiful. A true submissive. I guess she was just so bitchy all the time because she couldn't get what she truly needed - until Alan showed her the way. She's a good person at heart that is trying to improve.

The head cheerleader is a virgin saving herself for her college boyfriend at prom? I want to believe it. I really really want to believe it. But I just can't see it happening. No way she didn't give it up by this point. But I like fantasy so I'll choose to believe it :) The whole scene with her was hot as fuck. Surrender! He ruined her for other guys. He should have taken both cherries though. Maybe he'll come back for the other one later hehe. Literally half-assed the job.

The scene with Kate was heartwarming. I had a feeling she would eventually tell Alan she loves him. I wonder if they will be together in the end as a couple. Not looking ahead to spoil it for myself though. I'll just wait and see. And hope.

I have to laugh at the comments going on about rape when you're reading an erotic mind control-themed story. Is it rape if you convince someone to sleep with you by manipulating them with your words and actions (which happens all the time, most guys will say and do anything to get a girl into bed, remember)? Not according to the law it's not. I doubt mind control would hold up in a court either. He only made her do what she really wanted to do and he gave her the time of her life. Let's be real, her college boyfriend would have lasted 5 minutes, not given her any real satisfaction, and would have only used her as a glorified notch on his bedpost (prom queen, nice, that's triple points). Yeah, Alan kind of also wanted her to fulfil some fantasy but at least he made her feel special and really fucking good when he did it. Given the choice, which one would you rather have? I would choose the awesome sex and orgasms and memories of an amazing time. But your choice may not be what mine is. Oh and she wasn't saving it for marriage or something like that. What college guy would waste his time on that? He was with her to get laid on prom night and everyone knows it.