Alex & Alexa Ch. 13

"I need two more mics!" dad called out to the emcee, who nodded and got two more standing mics put up on the stage. Dad sat in the middle while mom and Alexa stood with of one mic, Jeanie and Freja with the other.

"What're we singing?" Alexa asked, not seeming to care that people could hear her through the mic.

"You'll find out..." dad said easily, before nodding to the emcee.

The song began and everyone in the bar began cheering loudly. Alexa and mom laughed and hugged one another while Freja bounced up and down giddily. I grinned broadly. I couldn't wait to see this. The intro over, dad began singing.

"It was a hot summer night
and the beach was burning.
There was fog crawling over the sand.
When I listen to your heart
I hear the whole world turning.
I see the shooting stars falling
through your trembling hands."

People were cheering as he sang and I was rapt watching as my family, including my newly-extended family, entertained everyone from the stage. As the next stanza began, the four girls began their backup vocal part, leaning into their microphones and crooning.

"You were licking your lips
and your lipstick's shining.
I was dying just to ask for a taste.
We were lying together in a silver lining
by the light of the moon.
You know there's not another moment
Not another moment
Not another moment to waste!

Well, you hold me so close that my knees grow weak.
But my soul is flying high above the ground.
I'm trying to speak but no matter what I do
I just can't seem to make any sound..."

The entire pub was silent, listening to the music and excited for the next part of the song. I could feel my heart thumping in my chest. I tried not to stare at Alexa, watching them all intently.

"And then you took the words right out of my mouth.
Oh it must have been while you were kissing me.
You took the words right out of my mouth.
And I swear it's true,
I was just about to say I love you!"

"LOVE YOU!" the girls chorused into their mics, looking at one another.

"And then you took the words right out of my mouth.
Oh it must have been while you were kissing me.
You took the words right out of my mouth.
And I swear it's true,
I was just about to say I love you!"

"LOVE YOU!"

"Now my body is shaking like a wave on the water
And I guess that I'm beginning to grin.
Oh we're finally alone and we can do what we want to. And the night is young
Ain't no-one gonna know where
No-one gonna know where
No-one's gonna know where you've been.

"Well you were licking your lips
and your lipstick's shining.
I was dying just to ask for a taste.
We were lying together in a silver lining
by the light of the moon.
You know there's not another moment
Not another moment
Not another moment to waste."

I just stared at the scene, rapt. In spite of my secret with my aunt, in spite of the hopelessness of our cause... at that very moment, I felt like the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet. This was my family, and they were killing it. I never wanted this moment to end.

"And then you took the words right out of my mouth.
Oh it must have been while you were kissing me.
You took the words right out of my mouth.
And I swear it's true,
I was just about to say I love you."

"LOVE YOU!"
"And then you took the words right out of my mouth!
Oh it must have been while you were kissing me.
You took the words right out of my mouth.
And I swear it's true,
I was just about to say I love you."

Dad stood as he began the crescendo repeat of 'you took the words right out of my mouth' while the girls echoed him and the crowd was now singing along joyously. The girls were gyrating while singing and dad was doing this absurd pelvic thrust that made me laugh. Then they put their arms over their heads and clapped for the final lines and the audience did the same. They finished and there was thunderous applause and cheering while they all bowed.

Dad allowed the girls to exit the stage first and then lumbered down after them, back to our table. Drinks kept arriving, bought for us by other patrons until the table was almost overflowing. Dad and I had our work cut out for us. Mom snuggled up to dad, thanking him for such an amazing experience.

Pretty soon, my back teeth were floating and I excused myself to go drain the lizard. After what seemed like an interminably long time draining a bladder that apparently had the capacity of the Hoover Dam, the door to the tiny bathroom muffling the strident and often ear-punishing karaoke beyond, I was zipping up when I thought I heard talking. Women talking. Two very familiar voices.

I looked around in confusion, wondering where the Hell the sound of mom and Alexa talking was coming from. I spied a vent over one of the stalls behind me. I looked around and went in, locking the door behind me. The music outside ended and I could hear them a little more clearly, but it was still difficult. I stood on the toilet carefully, getting as close to the vent as I could and cupped my ear, hoping to understand.

"You're sure you're okay, darling?"

"Really, Kar, I'm fine. I'm happy for them."

"I just want to be sure, Alli. I mean, she came to see you, after all."

"I know."

"And you've told me what you meant to one another, that you thought maybe you'd been in love in times past."

"Maybe we were, and I think maybe we're soul-mates, after a fashion. But this is really okay with me. Her being in love with Jeanie doesn't affect my relationship with her at all."

"They'll probably just include you in their depravity."

"If that's our dynamic, great. You know me, I love sex. And yes, she came to visit me, but she wouldn't have stayed if she hadn't met Jeanie. Now she's going to stay, Kar. My best friend is going to move here and I'll see her as much as I like. I'm thrilled."

"That's a wonderful view to have, Alli. I'm proud of you. But every once in a while, it may cause you a pang to see them together, and that's natural. There's nothing wrong with it, unless you act on it to hurt them. If you ever need to talk, you can always come to me, or to Michael. I'm pretty sure even Alex would be a good ear for you and a shoulder to cry on."

"Yeah..."

I climbed down from my perch, washed my hands and made my way back out to the table, where I plunked down into my seat. Mom and Alexa weren't back yet, so I just resumed eating nachos and wings.

"Your mom and Alli went to the ladies' room," dad mentioned. "They'll be back soon."

"Yeah, except your mom said Freja and I can't go to the bathroom together." Jeanie pouted.

"That's because we want to end our evening without public indecency charges." dad replied.

"You and the Lady Prof are a lot less adventurous since Alli showed up," Jeanie sighed. "It's like you've developed a terminal case of the respectabilities. I should know."

Freja snickered while dad just ignored the statement and killed a plate of wings. Mom and Alexa returned shortly after, both in good spirits. We laughed and ate and drank until dad got called up again. We joined the other patrons in whooping and cheering as he broke into singing 'Saturday Night!' by the Bay City Rollers.

"This was the song your dad sang the night I met him," mom leaned over and said to me. "Come to think of it, he was wearing plaid pants that night, too."

"Why am I not surprised?" I sighed, making her laugh.

"I'm just surprised there's enough plaid material outside of Scotland to make pants for that behemoth." Alexa muttered.

Mom pointed to a far corner. "I was sitting back in that corner with three of my girlfriends when the big lummox got up and began bellowing that ridiculous song. Nearly blew us out the back wall, I tell you."

"It's still weird to me that he can hit those higher notes," Alexa mused, watching dad and clapping. "He's a baritone when he talks, he's a heldentenor when he sings."

"He does an amazing 'Old Man River' too," mom mentioned, looking around. "This place hasn't changed all that much in the past few decades since we met."

"You'll have to tell me about it some time." Alexa stated, nodding to mom. "I'd love to know how you and Gigantor met."

Dad finally returned and within minutes, a song Alexa had called for was up. Everyone watched at the gorgeous blonde got on stage, sitting in front of the microphone and nodding, closing her eyes as she sang an Edith Piaf anthem.

"Non, rien de rien, non, je ne regrette rien
Ni le bien qu`on m`a fait, ni le mal
Tout ça m`est bien égal
Non, rien de rien, non, je ne regrette rien
C`est paye, balaye, oublie, je me fous do passe

Avec mes souvenirs j`ai allume le feu
Mes chagrins, mes plaisirs,
Je n`ai plus besoin d`eux
Balaye les amours avec leurs trémolos
Balaye pour toujours
Je réparas a zéro

Non, rien de rien, non, je ne regrette rien
Ni le bien qu`on m`a fait, ni le mal
Tout ça m`est bien égal
Non, rien de rien, non, je ne regrette rien
Car ma vie, car me joies
Aujourd'hui ça commence avec toi!"

I was spellbound watching her, but I glanced over subtly and could see tears in Freja's eyes. It's perfectly true, everyone who understood those soulful words would assume it was about the Danish girl, but I couldn't help but believe that they were truly meant for me.

When all was said and done, she regretted nothing.

It was so hard to keep the tears out of my eyes.

***

"Well, I'm sure those three are in for a raucous and debauched night," mom mused as we sat around the kitchen island, drinking Turkish coffee. It was late, but we all needed caffeine to sober up and none of us were ready for bed in any event. "This day has just been a whirlwind."

"No argument there," I sighed, shaking my head. "This whole Jeanie-Freja thing still has me knocked for a loop. How you two figured it out is beyond me. Even Alexa hadn't been expecting it."

"You just develop a sense for people when you get older, Alex," dad said, filling mom's cup again. "You'll develop that intuition soon enough."

"Yup, a true romance for the ages, that one..." mom said, smirking.

"You don't think they'll make it?" I asked.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure they will," she replied, considering. "Freja may be promiscuous, but deep down she's got a loving and monogamous heart, Alex. It's amazing she was ever able to let go of Alexa. And Jeanie, well... she seems all fun and games, but that is a very lonely girl. And I think she was truly afraid of being alone her whole life, drifting from marriage to marriage, searching for that one person who would see the worth in her beyond her sexual prowess and her family's money."

"Then it's a good thing they found one another," I said. "Put it in those terms and they're pretty perfect for one another."

Mom nodded. "They'll still be promiscuous together, but their hearts will belong to one another, and that is exactly what they both crave. Alexa knows she's young and beautiful, she knows there's time to find the right person. Freja and Jeanie both have drawbacks that count against them and need to be overlooked. Alexa doesn't. "

"If you say so." I agreed in a neutral tone.

"Oh, c'mon now," mom chided. "Alex, even you have to be able to put aside the fact that she's your aunt to see exactly what's going on there- she's absolutely stunning to look at, she's every bit as smart as we are, and she's got a passion for life that very few people can match. Not to get all Mary Poppins, but she's practically perfect in every way."

"She'll make a great find for someone, no doubt." I allowed. "Sorry, if I'm not objective about it."

Mom patted my hand. "No worries, you get along very well with her, and that's all I can ask for."

We talked for another hour or so, with me promising that we would start going to karaoke at least once a month, since mom and dad had rediscovered how much they enjoyed it. Eventually I said I was calling it a night and heading to bed. Mom gave me a hug and a kiss while dad ruffled my hair and sent me off. Apparently they had more Slovenian Pee Fairy documentaries to watch. I shook my head in despair, mumbling a disdain I did not actually feel, of course.

Downstairs and on my bed, I casually opened my laptop and initiated a Skype call. A few seconds later, Alexa appeared, totally naked and smiling at me lovingly. "Hello, my love."

"Well, hello, beautiful," I said in my best imitation of Ozzy. "I more than half-expected to not get a response, I thought you might be occupied."

"Was until recently," she sighed, picking up the laptop and panning it over toward the bed, where Freja and Jeanie were both passed out in a sweaty tangle. "It's been quite the evening."

"I've no doubt," I chuckled. "Highlights?"

"Well, I thought I was going to have to surgically remove Freja's right arm just below the elbow when she got it stuck in Jeanie's ass," she began, shaking her head as she remembered the incident. "Then Freja tried to drown Jeanie again when she squirted into her open mouth and it went down the wrong pipe. I'll be amazed if these two survive up until their wedding next week."

"Oh, they picked a date, did they?" I noted.

Alexa nodded. "Just a quick civil court thing, one that'll allow Freja to stay. Jeanie can support her, so there's no worries there, and her marks back at the uni in Copenhagen were surprisingly good, so getting her admitted here shouldn't be an issue."

"A quick civil ceremony sounds ideal." I agreed.

"They were initially whining about finding a beautiful spot like our glade that had emotional significance," she added. "Neither of them were amused when I suggested the gym equipment room we all fucked in."

"Can't imagine why," I laughed. "Do we think Jeanie's parents will approve?" I asked.

My aunt shrugged. "We Skype-called them."

"And?"

She took a deep breath. "It probably would have gone better if the two of them had remembered to put some clothes on before they made the call."

I started chuckling and Alexa waited politely until I managed to control myself. "Hey, at least it was a waists-up conversation, with only their tits visible," she added, trying to emphasize the positive. "Given that Freja still had her end of a massive purple double-dildo shoved inside her."

"The mind doth boggle," I sighed cheerfully. "In spite of that, the conversation somehow managed to go well?"

She nodded again. "Once they accepted the fact that their daughter found someone as depraved as her, they began asking questions and are perfectly happy with Freja's university choices and aspirations. They approved the marriage and I thought Jeanie was gonna faint on the spot. The call ended when she tackled Freja in excitement to kiss her and knocked the laptop off the bed."

"Sounds familiar." I laughed. "You managed to steer clear of the minefield?"

"Oh, yes," she said seriously. "No way I was jumping into that potential dumpster fire, unless they completely blew it and needed an intermediary. Then I probably would have called your dad to just scare Jeanie's parents into saying yes."

"Helluva night." I concluded.

"That wasn't the end of it," she sighed wearily. "Then we went online to look at rings, since they apparently didn't make it to People's Jewellers earlier, so that took the best part of an hour."

"But..."

"But even while we were surfing, they couldn't keep their hands off each other, or me, and we ended up in another sweaty Sapphic tangle. We spent half an hour trying to pussy-fuck one another all at the same time, with no success, so we just made one another cum until they passed out and I was the only one left conscious. I just got out of the shower a few minutes before you called."

"I'm a little annoyed that they just started looking for wedding rings like that while you were around," I muttered. "Wasn't very sensitive."

She smiled lightly and shrugged. "It's okay, Alex, Freja's my friend and needs me. It's not in any way, shape, or form her fault, or Jeanie's, that you and I are in the quandary we're in."

"True," I admitted. "Besides, have they got sweet wedding rings like these?" I asked slyly, holding up my hand to show her the Ring-Pop base I wore on my ring finger.

She giggled and held up her own hand, showing that she was wearing hers. "They'll never find anything as epic as these, you're right."

She then looked at the floor for a moment and then back at me. "You're... you're not mad at me about that song I sang tonight, are you?"

I shook my head. "I know everyone will assume it's meant for Freja, but I was pretty damned certain it was directed at me, even if you were looking almost exclusively at her."

"I couldn't look at you while I sang it," she said sadly. "First, because Karen and Mike couldn't know, but also it would have just hurt too much. I might have started crying. Hell, I almost did anyway."

"I know," I said heavily. "I saw. And it was a sad song, but I loved that you did it, Alexa. Because you're right. No regrets. Even if we can't be together, our time with one another will always be the high-point of my life."

She smiled at me and there were crystalline tears in her eyes.

***

Author's Notes: First of all, quit panicking, dammit. Do not blow up my inbox with protests. There are three chapters left to this fandango. If all you have to say is that you're tired of hearing the two of them mope about not knowing what to do, then kwitcherbitchin. If you were in their situation, your solution would have ended in heartbreak and disaster ages ago.

On another note, my apologies for grammatical or spelling errors, I don't have a proof-reader or editor at the moment and I'm terrible at self-editing, since I know what I intended to write and I miss errors I would catch if I was editing someone else's story. But now that I've apologized, I'm going to stop worrying about it and ignore criticisms about it.

I have absolutely the best mental image of the Meatloaf song bit in my head. Play the song, picture Mike singing at the central microphone, with Karen and Alexa sharing a mic on one side and Jeanie and Freja on the other. Picture them singing in harmony, eyes closed and enjoying themselves. It's pretty damned amazing, isn't it? Do you blame Alex for being enthralled?

Yes, there are indeed karaoke bars that carry classics by icons such as Edith Piaf. Some even carry opera. If your karaoke bar doesn't, then you've got a shitacular karaoke bar as far as I'm concerned and I hope to never visit it. So nyah.

Be honest, how many of you considered the Jeanie-Freja romance arc? Don't lie. I enjoyed writing the goofy, scatter-brained scenes with the two of them, because it's not often I get to do that, you know? I was laughing to myself when Freja kept waving to them hastily as she got dragged off to fuck. 'Bye, guys! Off to get fucked by someone I just met!' I also laughed to myself when Jeanie kept having her epiphanies on the mat in the equipment room, like the good job-bad job crisis. And running off, forgetting their clothes? Adorkable.