Alexandria & Andrew: No Secrets

Have I lost her, too? She didn't like it, but it seemed she had. She and Erica were friends on social media, but they used to be real friends. They used to be lovers. Now, they were reduced to mere acquaintances, occasionally liking each other's posts, in what passed as the 21st century version of keeping in touch.

Her mind wandered to exactly where she didn't want it. She had let Keith feel her up, which had been awesome at the time, but now made her feel dirty. He'd even managed to slip his hand down the front of her pants and touch her between her legs. She'd even rubbed his crotch, though she stayed over the clothes. He'd wanted more, but Lexi hadn't been ready for that.

Lexi didn't know what she was ready for. She could still remember the feel of his hands on her breasts, and between her legs. But she could remember Erica's smaller, more delicate hands in those same places, and Lexi's own hands doing those same things to Erica, and it was weird... all these thoughts mixed together in her mind, combined with her loathing of Keith for cheating on her right after she left to come home. He'd just wanted to stick his dick in something, and Lexi had merely been the target du jour.

Thoughts of last night drifted across her mind. She vaguely recalled telling Drew pretty much what she'd just been thinking. Her face grew hot. Oh, the alcohol had been a very bad idea. It had loosened her tongue way too much. She wondered what her brother thought about all that.

As if summoned, images of her brother popped into her head, of him looking really good... way too good, and she could remember in vivid detail kissing him, making out with him at that stupid graduation party. They hadn't even been invited. It was just some rich person's house with a ton of new graduates, a lot of alcohol, and no parents.

It must be the alcohol. Yes, that was definitely it. Except... it should all be out of her system by now. It'd been at least eight hours, she figured, glancing at the clock. True, she wasn't exactly sure how late she and Drew had been up, but they'd downed most of the bottle. Though it seemed she'd done the majority of the drinking, because otherwise how in the world could he feel fine? She felt a certain resentment toward him for that.

She finished up and made her way to the kitchen, where Drew was busy cooking something that smelled surprisingly enticing. She wondered if her stomach was up to it.

"When did you learn to do this?" Lexi asked him as he slid a plate over to her. On it was, of all things, an omelet with diced veggies. It actually looked good.

"A bit of a step up from a frozen waffle, huh?" he joked, then took the stool across from hers at the island in the kitchen. "Dated a girl who said she'd put out if I cooked for her."

She stared at him incredulously. "In addition to the girl who was using you for free meals?"

He pointed at her. "Ah, so you remember that. Same girl."

"She sounds obsessed with food. Was she, um, large?"

He shrugged. "No. She looked a lot like y--" He cut himself off. "Kinda like you. Not really." He blushed and tried to hide it. "Anyway, dunno what her deal was."

"Well?" Lexi asked, amused at getting him so off-kilter. "Did it work?" She cut into the omelet with the side of her fork. "Did she put out?" She took a bite and nodded in approval as the taste hit her.

He snorted. "Nope. Like I said, turns out she was just using me for free meals. Or something like that. Never did figure out what the hell was going on there. She dumped me and moved on, but I learned to cook a mean omelet, so, y'know, totally worth it."

She smirked, but not in a malicious way. It was one of their old, shared things, from a lifetime spent growing up together. To her surprise, there was a tiny little twinge inside her stomach that she tried to ignore. It was fading, now that he had said he hadn't slept with this girl, whoever she was.

"Oh yeah, absolutely," she said blithely, but relieved. "Though, to be fair, any girl who puts out for an omelet..." She stuck another bite in her mouth and chewed deliberately, eyes fixed on him, enjoying the sight of his discomfort.

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered, then changed the subject. "So is this--" he said, twirling his finger in the air in her general direction, "the college dress code, too, or do you save it just for me?"

Still chewing, she set her fork on the plate and looked down at herself. To her surprise, she was wearing only a t-shirt and panties. The same t-shirt as last night, but no bra. What the... she thought.

She looked at him, frowning. "Did you do this?" she asked, gesturing up and down her body.

"Nope. I swear." He looked amused. "I helped you get into bed, but you were fully dressed."

"I must have woken up and done it," she said, amazed. "But I don't remember it at all."

"Old habits die hard," he said with a shrug.

"Yeah, guess so." She'd always dressed like this for bed, as far back as she could remember, and he'd seen her like this many, many times. But now, it felt different somehow, to be wearing only a t-shirt and panties in front of Drew. They didn't see each other the same way anymore, and it made it more intimate.

Exciting. She didn't really think the word; it just popped into her mind. She suddenly remembered how she'd been dressed when she'd walked in on him in the bathroom.

Yes, exciting.

"H-how's the demolition going?" she asked a bit shakily, trying to get the conversation onto safe topics. She stuffed more omelet into her mouth so she could avoid his gaze.

"You saw." He rested his elbow on the countertop. "I've hardly begun. Once your head is feeling better, I'll get back to it. I'm doing the entire downstairs, not just the bathroom."

She blinked at that. "I didn't know the plan was so extensive."

"Well," he frowned and thought for a moment. "The housing market is a joke right now. Everything is insanely priced. I can either get a shit-shack somewhere, and still pay too much, or get roommates, or keep living here. But if I do that, I don't want to just stay in my old bedroom. It feels... I dunno... wrong. I mean, we're twenty-two."

"I'll be living in my old bedroom for the foreseeable future," she pointed out.

"Yeah, well, that's not your fault. The pandemic threw a wrench in everyone's plans. And, I assume once things get back to normal, you'll be back to the dorms."

She nodded at the truth of his words.

"So anyway," he continued. "The deal I made with dad is, if I renovate the basement, I can live in it."

"For how long?"

"As long as I want, probably. Definitely long enough to save up. I'm apprenticing to be an electrician. There's good money in that, down the road."

They talked about that for a while, and it felt good to Lexi. She liked her brother a lot, and, of course, loved him, too, and she was happy he was finding a path in the world, though it was bittersweet, because they spent so much time apart now.

"I miss the old days," she lamented.

"Which old days?" Drew asked. "'Cause I'd settle for just pre-pandemic at this point."

"When we were together all the time. I miss that."

He was silent for a while, then nodded. "Yeah, me too."

She regarded him as she idly ran her fingers through her hair, pulling out knots. She wondered what he had been thinking about. She wondered if he was specifically thinking of their old, innocent, pre-party relationship. "Well, I'm back."

He chuckled. "I'm glad. It was getting lonely around here. Mom and dad left for Europe, what, two, three months ago? I was still in school so it wasn't a big deal, but then everything got shut down and I've been super bored. I finally got dad to agree to the downstairs renovation. He wanted to be here for it, but I've suddenly got tons of time on my hands."

"Me, too." She let go of her hair and rested her forehead on the cool countertop. It felt wonderful. "I'm. So. Bored," she moaned, thumping her fist in time with the words. "This pandemic... being quarantined... it suuuuuuckkkkks."

"Wanna help with the demo? You get to bash stuff. You could pretend it's his face."

She looked up at him, eyes narrowed. "Maybe." She hesitated. "Later, though. My head couldn't take it right now." She focused on her now-empty plate. "Thanks, Drew. It was really good."

She got up, but before she could move, he'd already cleared her dishes and turned to put them in the sink. "Give me some time for my head to feel better, okay?" she said to his back.

"Yeah, yeah," he replied.

"Promise? No bashy-smashy?"

He turned to give her an amused look. "Fine. I promise."

He went back to work and she watched him from behind for a moment, thoughtful, then went into her room to think and rest her head.

She flopped down on her bed and pulled her pillow over her eyes, trying to find whatever darkness the day could offer, but as soon as she did, thoughts popped into her head. Memories of Erica. Memories of Keith, that asshole. Memories of another previous girlfriend, but those memories made her painfully uncomfortable, so she quickly shoved them aside. Memories of Drew. Her brain was connecting these things, trying to get her to analyze them, even as she tried to avoid it, her favorite method of dealing with her problems.

Including Drew in thoughts of her love life was a weird mix of deeply uncomfortable and intensely exciting. Thinking of him in that way was electrifying, making her nerves tingle. Memories of him in the bathroom, fresh out of the shower, nude and looking fantastic, jostled with memories of Erica going down on her, and Keith fondling her breasts. Ugh. If she could erase those memories of Keith, she would. But she couldn't deny that she'd liked it, liked being touched. The way his fingers moved along her skin. They were rougher than Erica's. Bigger, thicker.

A woman's hand was smaller and more delicate, and Lexi really liked that. But a man's hands were larger, rougher, and Lexi liked that, too.

She missed the physical side of a relationship. She'd gone all the way with girls, but had hardly gotten started with guys, and her brain wanted to keep going, to find out what it was like.

So I'm definitely, really bi, she thought, in an echo of her so I'm a lesbian realization from years ago. But when she thought about it, it seemed like she must be closer to the lesbian side. She'd always liked girls, with guys only working their way in a couple years later. But it wasn't just any ol' guy; her brain apparently had a very specific list of things it wanted, and it only occasionally found them.

Too bad one of those guys had been Keith. What an asshole.

What exactly did her brain want from Drew? To pick up where she and Keith had left off? It was as if she had somehow forgotten Drew was her brother, despite definitely knowing the truth. It was confusing, that's for sure. She dozed off thinking about him.

Lexi woke up a couple hours later, feeling much better. Her head still felt tender, but she was well on the way to recovery. She wandered to the kitchen to find something to take for her head, then went back to Drew's room, where she could hear he was playing video games on his computer. She knocked, and entered when he called out to her.

"I'm up," she announced. He glanced at her but then his eyes went right back to the screen, where he was in the process of blowing something up.

"Feeling okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, you can get going on the destruction and chaos downstairs."

He shook his head. "Nope. I made a rookie mistake. I was down there ripping out carpets--"

"I thought you were gonna wait? You promised!"

He gave her a goofy grin. "I promised no, uh, what did you say? Bashy-smashy? And I didn't do any of that. Just ripping out carpets. A lot quieter. Didn't disturb you, did it?"

She had to admit he was right about that.

"Anyway, I eventually realized I had nowhere to put all the carpet and other debris. So I'm renting a dumpster, but they won't be delivering it for five days."

"So... what?" she asked. "You're just stopping until then? I thought you were super eager to get going on this?"

"I am. But I can't have everything underfoot while I'm trying to rip out even more. So I'm waiting. My own mistake. It's my first time doing demo." He shrugged and glanced at her. "Cut me some slack. Oh, and don't go downstairs. At least not barefoot. Might be sharp stuff to step on."

That evening, Lexi was curled up on the sofa watching a true crime show, kinda hoping the culprit would turn out to be anyone other than the husband, when Drew finally ventured out of his room and went into the kitchen hunting for snacks.

"Kill enough bugs to sate your bloodlust?" she asked offhandedly.

"First off, not bugs," he said, popping open a beer. "And second, hell no. That's impossible. My bloodlust is unending."

"Yeah, yeah, dork," she laughed. "And no, I do not want a beer."

He snorted. "Oh, hey, Lexi, I have a question for you."

"Hm?" she said.

"You want a beer?"

She sighed heavily while he chortled at his own dumb joke, but then a thought occurred to her. "Actually, there is something I want." She set her jaw, suddenly shy. "If... if you don't mind."

"What's up?"

"Last night, when you just held me on the sofa..." She turned to look at him. "I'm feeling kinda crummy. I'm sure that comes as a big surprise, but I was wondering if... um..."

"Sure," he said simply, and came over to sit next to her. She leaned forward, trying not to let him see the emotion that suddenly found its way to her face, and let him put his arm around her. Instead of curling up, arms around her legs like last night, she instead snuggled up against him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Thank you," she whispered, and he heard it but only gave her a little pat in response. He sipped his beer while they watched the husband look increasingly guilty. Content and comfortable cuddled up against Drew, Lexi drifted off before the end of the show.

She woke up to a quiet, dark room. The TV was still on, showing a screensaver, but the screen itself had dimmed from inactivity.

Drew was still with her. She could hear his breathing, and his warm body pressed up against hers. They were awkwardly curled up together on the sofa, and he still had his arm draped across her. She struggled to get up without disturbing him, but as soon as she moved, he stirred.

"Huh? Lexi?"

"Show's over. Let's go to bed," she said.

He let go so she could climb off the sofa, then she gave him a hand up. She clung to that hand as she led him down the hall to her room, where she crawled onto her bed, pulling him after her. She lay on her side, twisting so his arm would end up around her middle, and he curled up behind, spooning her.

"G'night," he mumbled, then squirmed around a bit to get more comfortable.

"Night, Drew," she whispered, and fell back asleep curled up on her bed with her brother.

Drew woke up bit by bit, a pleasant warmth pressed up against his whole front, from head to toe. He opened his eyes to an unfamiliar view, and waited while his brain took in all the sights, and sounds, and smells, and touches... The clean scent of Lexi's hair. The individual hairs tickling his nose. Lexi's slow, steady breathing, and the gentle movement of her chest as she did so. Her smooth skin under his fingers... the fabric of her shirt against the back of his hand, and a different, silky smooth fabric--

Oh fuck me, he thought as the shock passed through him. I have my hand up her goddamn shirt.

With meticulous care, he pulled his arm ever so slowly out from under Lexi's t-shirt. That other thing he'd felt, the silky-smooth thing his hand had been resting on, was her bra.

At least she's still asleep, he thought as he moved, but before he could get his hand all the way out, Lexi suddenly pressed her arm tight against his, holding him there.

"Lexi," he began, but she cut him off.

"It's okay," she said quietly. "You were asleep. I don't mind."

"That doesn't excuse me having my hand up your shirt." There, he'd said it. He wasn't going to try to deny the situation. There was an honorable way out of this.

"I wanted you to hold me. You held me. I needed to not be alone. You were there for me."

Drew sighed. Lexi wasn't making this easy. He pulled, but she pressed harder, keeping him pinned against her side, most of his hand still up her shirt. "Lexi, come on. I need to get up. We can talk about this later."

Later, when we're not in your damn bed, he thought, trying to remember how the hell that had happened.

"I was feeling really low," Lexi said. She still hadn't turned to look at him, and she was still trying to prevent him from pulling his hand out. "I was feeling really vulnerable. You held me. Made me feel safe."

She turned over to face him, finally freeing his hand. They were face-to-face, only a few inches apart. She regarded him with her blue-gray eyes, and Drew couldn't see any accusation in them, any judgment. She reached out and brushed a stray lock of hair out of his face. His skin tingled where her fingertips made contact.

"I'm glad you're here with me," she said softly. He could feel her breath stirring the air between them.

He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what she wanted from him. "Me, too," he tried. "This pandemic would be unbearable alone."

She watched him, her lips spreading in a slow smile. "Yes, that, but I meant... I meant in this life. I'm glad you're in this life with me." She moved her index finger to his lips and tapped them in time with her words. "Every. Single. Second of it."

"Except the first seven minutes," he joked. She was the older twin, by that much.

"Worst seven minutes of my life." She winked at him, then she pressed forward and kissed him on the lips. The kiss only lasted for perhaps a full second, and then she pulled back and just looked at him. He was too stunned for speech, and the feel of her lips kept invading and taking over every other thought that tried to form.

She clutched at his shoulder, pulling their bodies closer together, and gave him another kiss, this time on the cheek by his ear. "Thank you," she whispered, then she pushed him gently away and sat up on the bed.

"Time to get up," she said, as if nothing had happened.

He tried to sit up, too, but she climbed over him, using his chest for support until she was off the bed. Lexi was yawning behind her hand, while Drew finally managed to rise and stretch. He'd clearly slept too long in the same position, because he was stiff all over.

"I need to get changed," she said. "I feel grubby, since I slept in all this." And with that, she undid her pants and started pushing them down her legs, revealing black low-rise panties.

"Jeez, at least wait until I'm out of the room," Drew said, scrambling to his feet.

She gave him a look. "You've seen me in my undies a million times."

"Fine. Exhibitionist," he said, heading for the door.

"You like what you see," she teased, but he refused to take the bait.

He risked one last look back over his shoulder from out in the hallway and was just in time to see her bend over to pull the pant leg off her foot, giving him a full-on view of her rear in those black panties. She was thin, so no one could claim she had a big ass, but what she had was smooth and shaped just right. He paused for a moment to admire it, then realized what he was doing and retreated down the hall, leaving her out of sight, but not out of mind.

That night, Drew was lounging on the sofa watching a movie when Lexi emerged from her room, where she'd been for hours doing who-knows-what. She wore a t-shirt and, thankfully, thin cotton pajama shorts.