All Comments on 'Alex's Gifts Ch. 18'

Your story is one of my best so far

ok top 2 lol.... you have a gift for writing and i sure hope

you can manage to get the other sister and mom involved soon.

keep up your amazing work and I can't wait for more.

Ive loved this series so far. Im looking forward to seeing lily and alex get closer but the one thing i really want to see is jenny meeting lily and carrie. I cant wait to see how you will have them react. Great job so far. 5 stars*

More Please.

Things I would like to see in next few chapters...

1. Ben getting right with Megan and making love to his sister

2. Lily and Alex have a threesome with Carrie

3. Jenny meeting Carrie and Lily

4. Jenny, Ben, & Megan being in an orgy with Alex at Alex's home

5, Alex meeting Jenny's sister and having a threesome with both

6. Jenny having sex with Alex, Casey and Lily

7. Alex making love to his mom

Carrie at the end.

After chapter 16 I really can't stand her anymore. What I can't stand even more is how Alex acts with her.

What I feel about these two points is far from getting better.

I still have the same hopes I wrote about in my com in chapter 16 and the more I read the more I think they are vain.

I'll stick around for a couple more chapters.

This has been a pretty good series so far n I'm thoroughly enjoying reading them. As we get further along in this series, I hope you don't get mom involved bc that would just ruin what ya have going so far in my opinion. Also hope you don't have Ben n Megan hook up like someone else commented saying bc that wouldn't make sense in how you've told the story so far with Megan despising him spying on her. Like I said tho I enjoy your series n keep up the good work.

@morningfun1947 - Thank you!! More is coming!!

Re: more please - Lily and Alex start in Ch. 20, so we're close!

Re: 5 Stars - 3 (maybe 4) of the 7 will eventually happen and only one in the next 5 chapters. But I ain't sayin' which!

@neolyn - Yah, sorry. I don't think you're getting the way I wrote their relationship, or maybe it's my fault...or probably a little of both. Alex doesn't feel like Carrie manipulated him in ways he didn't already want. Either way, he's fine with it. Maybe you wouldn't be, but you're not in this story. If you can't relate, I get it, nothing wrong with that. Thanks for reading this far and thanks for the feedback.

Re: I hope - Thanks! Mom is inevitable, but she'll be different than the rest. More on the sidelines, I think. I'm still working it out. Ben and Megan will never be involved like that, but they are going to work out a deal in Ch. 20 and I think you'll like it.

@neolyn - I posted my other comment before I saw you'd replied again in Ch. 16. I read it and I understand more where you're coming from and I want to get back to you but it's bed time! Check in tomorrow.

I really love it, but I really hope Ben does not have the gift and is somehow the villain. I really do not like him and hope he gets what he deserves, and could just leave him out honestly. Other then that it is awesome.

I guess a pair of twins are in order for next installment. Would like a chapter where he ties up Carrie and leaves her completely "ahegao". There's surprising lack of BDSM themes and still missing watersports. Maybe in the next part.

Read your reply to my comments on chap 16,17

For chap 16 (about not involving dad...). Though I agree with some of the points you made I still believe if it was someone else a third party who was completely unrelated to Alex it would have been much better. That way he could be alive and would have kept Alex on his toes. It could have also made for a new dynamic with Lily or Mom where they are not comfortable or either repulsed by incest, at first obviously. Maybe alternate storyline

For chap 17 ( Does not help the situation..) After reading your comments, I guess it makes sense a lot more. He may be crushed seeing his sister and would be gf getting banged. It could also lead to a scenario where he is wiping tears with left hand and stroking dick with right. lol.

Re: I don't like Ben - Haha thanks, you're not supposed to like Ben! I'm not gonna say he gets what he deserves, maybe more that everyone gets something they like.

Re: Hot Megan! - Megan's definitely the most fun for me to write, she's the wildcard. I've got twins (Fiona/Becky) and am definitely bringing them back together. I'm working towards some BDSM stuff, but I'm not all that familiar with the genre so it's taking me time to sort out how to fold it in. More watersports coming in Ch 19! And I just wrote s'more in a much later chapter. Re: Dad - You'll have to wait for mom to get back, I have some stuff figured out. Let's just say I've found a way he can help from beyond the grave. But I'm not sure yet how the Lily/Mom or Mom/Carrie or even Carrie/Lily dynamics will work once it's all out in the open. Things will definitely get interesting.

Just a couple of my pet peeves, but so common that I don't think I can save the world.

Prone means lying face down, not on your back. If you're on your back, you're lying supine.

Lay is a transitive verb. You do it to something, e.g. you lay the pencil on the table, and the pencil lies there. You lie down and you lay your head on the pillow.

Conjugate lie as lie, lay and lain. (If you're telling a porky, it's lie, lied and lied.)

Likewise lay as lay, laid and laid.

Free bonus round: Something is different from something else, not different than. Consider the verb form. Nothing ever differed than, it differed from.

Your write so well over all that these errors really stand out.

gary

Gary,

It's so rare that I receive feedback that makes me a better writer. Thanks and keep fighting the good fight. Rest assured, you are saving the world. Please continue pointing out poorly conjugated verbs and offering feedback that is not only helpful but also not condescending. I appreciate it. I will lie in my bed and lay my head down in appreciation of your help.

If you'd like to continue your lessons, let me know. I'd welcome your wisdom and thank you for sparing my readers my own amateurish foibles.

I read what Gary wrote and have to agree (especially that minor mistakes do not take away from the story). But, in an effort to stroke your ego a bit, I like the way you use the english language to paint a detailed picture for my mind. Before I retired in 2017, I used to write many reports and learned to use the language myself (some seemed like a short stories). I was even so good as to train others in writing reports. I like the way you use words to describe the idea that is in your head and convey that to the story so the reader can enjoy the scene you make. I will continue to read what you write as long as you write. Thanks for your time and imagination.