Alice Bean and The Prince

"Uh!"

"Oh!"

"Uh!"

"Oh!"

"Uh, Alice? Uh, uh, uh..."

"Yes...oh... Harry?"

"My time is nigh. Uh, uh, uh...Would you like to see the royal seed? Uh, uh..."

"Is it different from the seed of commoners? Oh, oh, oh..."

"Well, I think it must be...uh, uh...mustn't it? uh, uh..."

"Then I'd love to see it, Harry. Oh, oh,..."

But Alice was loathe to release Harry's meaty plunger from her cunny. She clamped her legs together and ground her sweet arse into his pelvis. Her taper lit, she reached down to fire the button of her ecstasy.

"Too late!" Harry shouted. "I come! Uhhrruuhhh!"

"Oh! Oh!" Alice cried out. "Oh yessss!"

Built by the finest stonemasons in the land to withstand tempest and siege, King Richard's castle suffered nary a tremor but within the bedchamber of Prince Harry, the walls sang and the ceiling wept. Candles flickered and curtains fluttered as the lovers climaxed in commingled bliss. Alice released her one-handed grip on the mattress and collapsed, exhausted and spent beneath her prince.

They remained in this curious position until their gasping breaths and thundering hearts slowed and quieted within their weary breasts.

"Alice?"

"Yes, Harry?"

"I think I love you."

"And I'm mad for you, Harry."

"A pity isn't it?"

"As you say."

"I'm to marry the Duchess of York," Harry said.

"But you called her a cow."

"Her bellow and sagging udders give lie to any other conclusion."

"But she is a noble cow, Harry. Is she not?"

"Just so."

"Then your course is set," said Alice sadly. "And I'll away."

"Yes, by Jove!" Harry gave her bottom a sound but playful smack. "You'll away to my estate in the country."

"My lord!" Alice bolted upright beside him and Harry smiled broadly at the sight of her firm, young dumplings.

"Yes, and your brother too," said the prince. "Alex, to whom you are so close shall be the master of my stables. No...on second thought the prince's gardener may be a more suitable post for your twin."

"But what will your future wife say?"

"She'll say not a word if she knows what's good for her." Prince Harry took his lady love in his arms. "Kiss me, Alice."

And so Alice Bean lived happily ever after as the contented mistress of good Prince Harry. Throughout their loving but unsanctified union, Alice saw a great deal of Harry's seed as she bore and raised four dark-eyed bastard children. The prince, of course was unable to give the fruit of Alice's loins his royal name, or even allow them to call him father. But Uncle Harry spoiled them outrageously and all in all they were happy little bastards.

When Prince Harry died in a hunting accident - the vice-chancellor accidentally shot him with a blunderbuss - Alice inherited his country estate and an annual stipend. Harry's wife, the former Duchess of York and her mewling offspring were incensed by this outrage, but King Richard decreed his brother's last wishes to be inviolate.

Every year Alice Bean makes a pilgrimage to King Richard's castle on the anniversary of the night she met her prince. Alone, she walks to the place where the king laid his younger brother to rest, and places a garland of fresh flowers before his stone. And then Alice whispers, as she did on that magical night so long ago, "It was wonderful, my lord."

the end