Alice In La La Land

Yes, this is absolutely a blatantly inaccurate parody of a time worn story. I have fantasized for years about Alice finding herself in a land of sexual temptation and seduction. I intended to write about graphic sex in Wonderland. Then I remembered that the original story was a satire and I decided to have fun with the characters. After that things got a bit crazy. My Alice is a consenting adult.

Many thanks to Todger65 for editing. I have learned a lot from his editing, and still keep making the same dumb mistakes!

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Alice has most everything anyone could want. She lives in a fine country mansion staffed by attentive servants. Alice is young and incredibly beautiful. Her long blonde hair frames a perfect face. Her cute little nose is centered below bright blue eyes and above heart shaped lips. She has a body any man, and some women, would lust for if they only knew what was hiding under her voluminous and all-covering dress. Her head, her slender neck and her delicate hands comprised the maximum allowable skin exposure.

No one except her personal maid Stacy ever sees her perfectly shaped breasts. Her neighbor Goldy Cocks would say they were not too large for a hand full and not too small for a hand full. They were, in fact, a perfect hand full.

Of course, her parents would not let her anywhere near Goldy Cocks, but we can safely assume that she would describe Alice's breasts in just that way if she were to ever see them. Goldy Cocks had a bit of a reputation. Gossip was that she had been in an unmentionable relationship with the Bare family, but that is a tale for another day.

Alice's stomach is flat, and her waist is slim. Her hips are the perfect width, and her long-toned legs would invite caresses and kisses if anyone were to ever see them. Her blonde bush was carefully trimmed by maid Stacy. Alice enjoyed the process immensely. Stacy was meticulous in her trimming duties, often running her tongue over the trimmed areas to insure smoothness. The tongue test often took a fair amount to time. Alice discovered that if Stacy exercised diligence, the test would continue until an amazing and wonderful feeling washed over her body. She enjoyed the trimming process very much and often asked Stacy to double check her work.

Alice led a sheltered, if pampered, life. She never left the grounds of the mansion and she seldom saw her parents. Her mother had an almost daily case of the vapors that kept her secluded with the male members of her personal staff. She saw her father occasionally, but he was away on business most of the time.

Alice missed her daddy and thought of him often. Especially when her trim was being checked! She was extremely excited because her nineteenth birthday was within days and she knew that her daddy would return. He never missed her birthdays.

When her father arrived, he brought her some interesting gifts. Her mother had wished her a perfunctory happy birthday and retired to the waiting staff in her room. Her father took her into his private study and locked the door. He pulled her onto his lap, "My dearest Alice it is long past the time for you to grow out of your frumpy clothing. I have selected an entire new wardrobe for you from the best designers, Fredrick and Victoria (that's a secret) to name a few. Please remove your old clothing and I will have the staff discard it. I will examine you closely as you put each item on so that I can ensure everything fits correctly."

Alice felt the same tingle she felt when Stacy trimmed her pubic hair. She removed her clothing as her father watched. When she was completely nude her father checked to ensure that he had gotten the measurements correct by running his hands over her body. By the time he had completed his inspection Alice was having difficulty talking. The tingle had become a fire in her groin and her moans were barely contained to the study.

Her old frumpy underwear was replaced by the extremely small and revealing panties. The bras he had purchased for her replaced the cotton wraps she had been wound up within. He even bought her a bikini to replace the full body suit she normally wore to swim! His insistence that she model the new clothing for him did not bother her at all. She was eager to do so because she loved her daddy and found him quite handsome. Her new dresses revealed her 'just right' cleavage and her delectable upper thighs.

Daddy had just started checking the quality of her trim when his phone rang. Alas, daddy could not stay, and Alice was left with only the company of her maid Stacy. She asked Stacy to check that her pubic hair was trimmed appropriately. When Stacy finished, she breathlessly asked her to check again. She even checked Stacy's to be sure that hers was trimmed correctly as well.

One day Alice was wearing the new bikini her father had given her while she lounged by the pool. It seemed to her that every time she moved one of the little triangles that covered her breasts would be displaced, revealing her perfectly shaped nipples. She was still trying to get used to the string that ran between her butt cheeks. The string connecting to the tiny piece of cloth cover her bush made her tingle when she moved. It reminded her of her recent trimming. It was all very strange and new.

Mother had retired to her room and was moaning away her vapors with the assistance of her male servants. Alice and Stacy were left to their own devices. Alice was reclining by the pool while Stacy covered her fair skin with sunblock. Stacy was as meticulous in applying the sunblock as she was with bush trimming and it wasn't long before Alice was feeling very warm and tingly. She was lying on her stomach while Stacy worked on her back when she noticed movement near the topiary. Curious, she stood and walked toward the gardens. Suddenly, a man began to run away. Without thinking Alice ran in pursuit. Stacy stood in shock, but soon followed.

The grounds were quite large, and the foot pursuit carried on for some distance. Alice was fleet of foot and soon gained on the running man. As she neared, he stopped under an ancient oak tree. She noticed the binoculars in his hand as he pressed his other hand against the tree. Remarkably, a door opened in the tree and he quickly stepped through!

Alice's sheltered life had not prepared her to think about her own safety, so it shouldn't surprise anyone that she followed the man through the door. Stacy arrived in time to see the door close. Her Inspection of the tree did not reveal any sign that a door had ever existed. Stacy knew two things. First, Alice had disappeared into a tree. Second, there was no way she was going to be able to explain what happened and expect anyone to believe her. With due consideration to the vapors that Alice's mother suffered from, she had a week at most before Alice's mother noticed that her daughter was gone. If Alice did not return before than Stacy knew she would be in a world of shit! She resigned herself to wait nervously until then.

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When the door closed behind Alice she was plunged into darkness. After a moment she could see a small light flickering in the distance. She soon realized that the flickering was caused by the man running away from her and she continued her pursuit. She saw that the light was coming from a doorway and she slowed to walk through it. She found herself in a small room. The man stood waiting, "I do not have a lot of time. I must be going!"

Alice put her hands on her hips and looked at him sternly, "Who are you and where are we?"

"I am Buck Hare, and we are at the entrance to Neverland. My friends and I bought it cheap after the previous owner died. I don't have much time. If you want to know more just drink what is in the bottle and follow me."

Alice followed his gesture and saw a small bottle sitting on a round table. She picked it up and read the label, "Drink me? What does aphrodisiac mean?"

"It means it makes you feel good. Hurry up or I am leaving you here!"

Alice drank the liquid and asked Buck if she could use the toilet. He pointed to a door she hadn't noticed. She walked through the door and found herself in the largest bathroom she had ever seen. She did her business and turned the faucet so that she could wash her hands. The handle popped off and a large column of water began shooting into the air. Soon the room was flooding! A stall opened and a small man ran out. His hat was on backwards, he was wearing an oversized pro sports jersey, and his boxers were showing because his pants were down by his knees. Panicked, Alice called out, "Yo, Yo, Yo, What's happnin Bro?"

The man looked at her with contempt (and a bit of lust), "Why does everyone think I am a rapper? It's beginning to piss me off! Do you know how hard it is to get clothes that fit someone my height?" He scampered out of the room. Suddenly more stall doors opened, and people began streaming out the bathroom door. Alice followed closely behind. Buck had disappeared and a small door seemed to be the only exit. Everyone was trying to leave at once. The crowd blocked the door causing the water to rise in the small room. The flooding built up until the pressure washed everyone out through the door and onto a beach.

Alice stood on the beach in confusion. 'How the fuck did I get here?' she thought as she surveyed the wet people standing nearby. Everyone milled in confusion until a guy with a man bun and weird, but carefully trimmed, facial hair built a bonfire. A guitar appeared in his hands and he began playing smarmy love songs. He attempted to look deep into Alice's eyes. His eyebrows rose as he looked at her. She decided the expressions screwing up his face must have some meaning. She couldn't concentrate enough to figure out. He was making her gag and she really didn't give a shit anyway.

Alice scanned the crowd and noticed that most of them were dancing weirdly. She decided to assert herself using her advanced lessons in social mores, "Hey! Excuse me, but what the fuck are you doing?"

A random woman spoke up, "High! You are so pretty. Uhm, we are trying to find our way out of here."

"By dancing weirdly in a circle?"

"Yes, of course. How else would you do it?"

By now Alice was feeling quite feisty. The potion she had drank was manifesting in the need for her bush trim to be checked. As a matter of fact, she was desperate to get her bush trim checked, "Why don't you come over here, put your face in my bush, and lick for inspiration?"

The random woman eagerly knelt and moved her face toward Alice's bush. Alice placed a palm on the woman's forehead, "Before you start, what is your name?"

"Bee Dred Clam. What's yours?"

"Alice. Now please get to licking."

Eventually Alice had an epiphany, if that is what you want to call it, and pushed Bee's wet face away, "Why don't we go through the door over there?"

Bee looked very confused by the statement. She stood and walked away. Alice thought to herself 'What the fuck? Whacky chick, but at least she did a good job of ensuring my trim is up to par!'

Alice then looked around the beach. She could not help but notice that everyone except the man bun guy were busily checking each other's bush trim. Once the 'oohs' and 'aahs 'and 'Oh my gods' faded, they all stood and ran off. This left Alice to wonder, not for the first time, 'What the fuck is wrong with these people?'

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Alice stood and went through the door and out into a forest. She strolled along a beaten path until she entered a clearing. A large black man was sitting on an air mattress and smoking something that smelled like burning rope. His bleary eyes looked at her and slowly swept up her body, "Hey little girl would you like a piece of candy?"

Alice smiled, "Candy sounds nice."

"Well come sit with me and I'll show you my candy cane."

Alice sat next to the man, "What's your name?"

"My name is Blue Cat, but you can just call me Blue, or hopefully in a few minutes, Blown. Here, suck on this." He handed her the large paper wrapped tube that was smoking on one end. Alice followed his instructions and sucked on the tube. Soon she was giggling with the nice man, "Can I have some candy now?"

"Certainly, dear Alice." He pulled down his pants and waived his immense cock at her, "Please feel free to lick it."

Alice was amazed at the size and color of his candy cane, "I don't see the stripes, but it sure looks delicious." Alice leaned over and began to lick his immense cane. It grew and grew until she needed both hands to hold it.

"Alice, keep sucking and it won't be long before you get to the cream filling."

Alice was pleasantly surprised when her mouth began to fill with his cream filling. It did not taste like any cream filling she had ever tasted before, but she liked it and continued to suck until there was no filling left.

Blue immediately fell asleep and nothing Alice could do would wake him. She was disappointed. She would have liked for him to check the little blonde triangle where her legs met to insure smoothness. Her tingles were getting out of hand as she climbed to her feet and continued down the path.

She spotted Buck and ran to him. He took off running and she followed him as he set a rapid pace. It wasn't long before the friction from her legs rubbing together created a very pleasant tingling in her nether region. Alice began to feel extremely horny, "Buck! I feel strange."

Buck paused and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a baggie, opened it, and dumped the contents into Alice's hands, "Eat this, it will make strange things into fun things."

Alice saw that she was holding a dried mushroom. Being the naïve person she is, she started eating the mushroom, "Ooh, this is very bitter!"

"Yeh, I know. Are you coming?" He set off again at his ground eating pace. Alice had no choice but to continue following. It wasn't long before she noticed how pretty everything was. She also noticed that something was making her very moist and it wasn't perspiration.

A few minutes later they came upon a picnic table. The rather short man from the bathroom sat on one of the table's benches. Buck sat down on the other bench and motioned for Alice to sit as well. He turned to the odd gentleman flipping burgers on at a barbecue grill. He was wearing the tallest chef's hat Alice had ever seen. "Hey Mad, I finally made it and I brought a friend!"

"Quit calling me Mad. My name is Phil, and you know it. You are always late. The burgers are almost overdone."

Phil turned around and saw Alice, "Holy shit! Who are you?"

Alice had been taught good manners, so she stood and walked up to Bert, "I'm Alice and it is nice to meet you."

Burt smiled down at her, "I love what you are wearing. Would you like a hot sausage?"

Alice looked confused, "All I see are burgers, but a hot sausage sounds nice."

Burt pulled his apron aside, "Pull that zipper down and reach inside."

By this point Alice was incredibly happy and the tingling was making her quiver. She reached out and unzipped Burt's pants. Her delicate hand reached in and grasped a warm round stiffness. 'Ah Hah' she thought, 'I found it!' She began to tug, but the sausage was too big!

Bert looked down, "It is too big now. You will have to take my pants down to get it."

Alice dutifully unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his pants. She pulled them down and saw an exceptionally large sausage. It was fat, long, and hard. She giggled with glee at her discovery and grabbed it with both hands. She pulled, but instead of moving the sausage, her hands just slid up, making a little juice squeeze out the end. She tried again and again. The sausage just kept getting bigger!

Bert looked down, "You're never going to make it smaller that way. You need to put it in your mouth and suck on it. It helps if you lick it too."

Alice knelt and began to lick the sausage like a lollipop. She put the end in her mouth and sucked. She liked the feel of it and decided to slide more of it into her mouth. It felt nice in her mouth because it was so hard, and yet silky soft. It made her tingle deliciously.

Alice was enjoying her sausage when Burt again spoke, "You are doing a good job, but there is a better way to make it shrink." He took the burgers off the grill, then pulled her to her feet and quickly removed her bathing suit, "Why don't you lie down on the table and I will show you. As a matter of fact, I think there are two other sausages that will need shrinking as well."

Alice realized he was speaking the truth. While she had been trying to eat Bert's sausage the other two men had produced theirs. Alice thought that the sausages were swelled to the point that they appeared to be causing their owners some pain. She resolved to relieve that pain by being as helpful as she could. She climbed onto the table and laid down.

Burt moved to the end of the table and pulled her toward him, "A sausage belongs in a bun and you happen to have a lovely one. I must get your bun ready before we shrink my sausage, He grabbed her perfect little ass and pulled her to his face. He began to check her bush trim quite vigorously. Burt was exceptionally good at trim checking and she lost her mind for a little while. Bert got onto the table, "It is time to put the sausage in your bun. We can make it shrink If we work together.

Burt slowly inserted his sausage into her bun. The sensation was amazing, and Alice enjoyed it immensely. Burt was pumping hard, "God, I am mad about this pussy!"

After a while Burt stiffened and his sausage released a substantial amount of juice. When Burt pulled his sausage out of her bun, she saw that it had shrunk substantially. Alice looked up at Burt, "OK, Like for real. This is fucking isn't it?"

Burt smiled down at her, "Yep, and I have to say your sweet little pussy is amazing at it!"

Alice blushed at the flattery, "Well I guess Buck and the short guy need to get their sausages shrunk as well?"

Buck climbed onto the table, "Yes dear Alice, but you should probably use correct nomenclature. This sausage is called a cock. Your bun is called a pussy. You, my dear, have the perfect pussy for cock." He put his rather large cock into her pussy and began to slide it in and out. The short man climbed onto the table. His cock was so large compared to his body that Alice wondered how he managed to walk around without pitching forward onto his nose.

"My name is not Short Man," he said as he brushed his prodigious implement across her lips. My name is Dore Mouse. Now suck my cock you rude little bitch!"

Alice tried to tell him that she was a nice girl and never meant to be rude, but her response was muffled by the immense cock that was suddenly thrust into her mouth. Buck and Dore proceeded to taking turns fucking her stupid. Eventually Alice came back to herself to find that her three new friends were laying on the ground asleep. Alice was ecstatic! She had learned a new skill that was so much better than pussy hair trim checking!

She got off the table to follow the pretty butterflies that only she could see. By chance she wandered back onto the path and toward her next adventure.

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Alice walked along the path following her imaginary butterflies. She noticed something odd ahead of her and after walking further determined that it was a man sitting on a low tree branch. The man had a huge grin on his face as she approached him. Considering that she was naked as a Jay Bird his smile wasn't all that odd. Alice was feeling that tingle again and could not help but notice the prodigious organ hanging between the man's legs. As she got closer the organ began to rise as if to greet her.

"Hello, my name is Alice."

"Hey babe, my name is Bill from Cheshire."