Alice in Lonely Land Ch. 01

I missed Calum. Not the way he talked to me, he was a condescending ass. Not the way he treated me, he was a selfish prick. I missed lying next to a warm body. I missed holding hands as I walked down the street. Having someone to call when my day went to shit, having an automatic plus one. Those were things I missed. So maybe I should say I missed the idea of him.

Calum was beautiful, charming at first, outgoing, charismatic, he was a ladies man. At the time I felt like he was a gift from God, but that faded by month two where he had me feeling like shit about myself and it ended by month five when I found him sleeping with some college coed in my bed.

Kicking him out should have stripped him from my life, but no such luck. My curse was the fact that I shared a building with his older brother, Colin, a beast of a man with a rare smile and an aloof disposition. He was nice, I'd always liked him. It just sucked that he hosted my ex until he found his new love interest.

On the twelfth of February, I was racing to my building, with a notebook over my head to ward off the torrential rain, when a massive frame swung the door open and held it for me.

I laughed and stood to the side so I could shake myself off without flooding the main walkway. "Thanks," I said without looking up. "Man, remind me to invest in an ark." Looking up my smile faded at the sight of Colin's face. "Oh, hi."

"Hi." His echo did just that, the deep baritone echoed in the large space. "Did you swim here?"

That made me laugh, he might be wet, but I was soaked. "I would have taken a cab." I shrugged, "but I forgot my wallet on the counter. I had just enough change for the subway. Lucky me. Honestly, I should know better. It's the third time this year."

Colin moved to the elevator and hit the button for the elevator. We waited in silence then he pulled out a little metal case and gave me a business card . "Put my number in your phone and call me next time. You're going to catch your death."

Smiling had always been easy around him, he was a thoughtful kind of guy. Looking up at him I took the time to admire God's creation.

Where Calum's hair was a dark honey blonde, Colin's hair reminded me of hazelnuts, not blonde but not really brown, somewhere in between. Colin's eyes were a stormy grey like the clouds before a storm, where his brother's were blue like a morning sky.

Colin and Calum were both tall, but Calum was lean like a runner, and Colin was wide like a linebacker. Not heavy set, just wide. Calum's easy smile was handed out to everything with a heart beat, where Colin's wasn't rare, but it had to be earned.

"Thanks, I'll do that upstairs. I'm afraid to touch my phone, I'm oozing water from every pore." We shared a laugh. Inside the elevator he hit the button for his floor then mine. "How's life?" I asked.

His look darkened and that brow furrowed. "Don't you mean how's Calum?"

"Ah no." my eyebrows went up. "I'm asking how you are. I don't give a damn how he is. I'm kinda hoping he'll move on so I don't need to worry about running into him every time I'm in the elevator."

"He did." Colin's answer was like a weight off my shoulders and I gave him another smile. "Moved in with some actress in the East end."

"Oh thank God." I leaned back against the wall. "You just made a hellish day heaven." The doors opened on his floor and I sighed. "All that and you never answered my question." I stepped off the elevator and leaned against the wall. "How are you Colin."

He looked surprised, but he joined me and held up the wall across from me with a strong shoulder. "I'm alright, work's busy, but that's good. Keeps me out of trouble. How are you?"

"Going a little stir crazy." I laughed and had the pleasure of seeing his face light up with a small smile. "My freelance work is slow this time of year, so I have all this extra time at night and it's driving me batty. I'm the kind of person who just needs to do something so I've purged my closet, my book case, and painted the bathroom. I tried to take up crochet, but who the hell can sit for that long."

Colin's chest rumbled with laughter and I felt a little burst of pride that I could make him chuckle. He looked at his watch and with a little disappointment I stood. "Sorry, I won't keep you."

"I have a call with my mom at six, there's a time difference so I don't want to miss it, it'll be too late to call her back." He looked genuine, it didn't feel like he was just trying to get out of the conversation.

"No worries. I'm going to pull out all the stuff in my cupboards and bleach them tonight."

Colin laughed again and moved to push the button for me. He waited with me and when the doors opened he said, "The next time you're stranded without your wallet, call me."

"Thanks, I appreciate it."

"Good night Allie," I got another warm smile.

"Good night Colin."

-

Two days later, on the day of lovers, I was a little blown away when a single potted orchid was delivered to my work. There was no note, and I spent all day trying to figure out who it was. This was crazy, stuff like this didn't happen to me.

It was pouring rain again and the thought of wading through public transportation in this weather was not appealing, but when I went in search of my wallet my heart sank. How did I survive life? As my mother would say, I'd lose my head if it wasn't screwed on tight enough.

I thought about my options and took a deep breath...he did say call.

Colin picked up on the third ring with a deeply rumbled, "Colin speaking."

"Hi," I let out a sigh. "I know you probably have plans tonight and I don't want to get between you and your lady, but I'm in need of a knight in shining armour." I said it like he'd know who I was, I didn't even think about saying my name, but he didn't need me to.

A chuckle rolled through the line making me smile. "You caught me just as I was about to head home, good timing. I'll swing by and grab you."

"My hero."

He laughed again. "I try. Stay dry, I'll get out and come get you."

My flower and I waited in the lobby, and I'll be honest there was more than a little excitement rolling through me. It took ten minutes, but a cab pulled up and a wide chested man ran to the door with an umbrella. I met him with a bright smile and a sigh of relief.

"You are a prince among men," I said. We ran back to the cab together and I protected my flower with one side of my open coat. Inside I let out another sigh. "Man it's a nightmare out there."

Colin got settled and glanced over and winked at me, actually winked at me. "This counts as my good deed for the day."

"The week," I declared. "I don't think this little guy would have survived the rain."

A little frown passed over his face but he let it pass quickly and opted for something neutral. "Who's prince charming?"

"No clue." I shook my head. "No note, no name, nothing. I'm not complaining, I'm just a dog with a bone when it comes to secrets. This is going to kill me."

He huffed in amusement. "Maybe you'll get a card or clue when you get home."

I lit up. "I didn't think about that." We sat in silence then I asked, "Did I mess up your plans? Are you going to be late?"

He cast me a side long look. "I'm watching the game tonight, figured I'd order pizza. You?"

I shrugged. "I'm planning on cleaning the grout in my shower with a toothbrush and bleach."

That made him laugh again. "We live exciting lives."

"Thrilling." With a half hearted smile I stared out the window.

When he said, "We could order pizza and you could let me kick your ass at board games," my answer was immediate.

"Yes."

There was a warmth in his eyes when I looked over. Colin nodded. "It's a plan."

He said, 'a plan', and not 'a date', and I'll be honest, I was a little disappointed. Shaking my disappointment off, I smiled and turned back to the window.

He and his umbrella protected me on my way into the building and we both headed to the mailboxes together. My heart jumped at the sight of the red letter sized envelope mixed in with my bills and a few pieces of junk mail.

Without even closing up my mailbox, I ripped into it.

Dear Alice,

It's taken me a long time to work up the courage to reach out to you. Even now I can't bring myself to be entirely open with who I am. It just feels like there's too much that might get in the way.

I couldn't let this go on unsaid, I don't think you hear it enough. You're beautiful. I think you're beautiful, passionate, caring, and kind.

I admire your passion for your work, and your drive, you do more in a day than most of us do in a week. Your kindness inspires me, the way you treat the people around you makes me want to be a better man. The kind of man who one day might deserve you.

I just needed you to know, you're in my thoughts.

An admirer.

"Well, hell." Turning I leaned back against the mailboxes with a sigh.

"Good hell or bad hell?" Colin's voice brought me back in the moment with a smile.

"Sorry." I waved the letter at him, "A little blown away at the moment."

Again he asked, "good or bad?"

"Good, I think."

He came over and leaned against the boxes facing me. "You think?"

I laughed. "It's good, I just hate secrets. Some guy sends me flowers, and a letter," I handed the letter to him. "Now I'm just supposed to wait to see if he sends me something else?" My heavy sigh made him smile. "If he'd left a phone number I could have called or sent him a text to say thank you."

Colin pulled the envelope from my hand and turned it over. "He left you a return address, you could write him, that's romantic. Right?"

It was romantic, really romantic, and if I was honest I was ridiculously happy, beyond flattered, and dying to know who it was. I reread the letter over Colin's shoulder and signed.

"Any guesses?" his voice was soft like there was possibly someone listening and I answered in kind.

"No clue. I'm not exactly rolling in offers."

"This," he waved the letter at me, "says otherwise."

Reality hit me hard. "That's one guy who can't even bring himself to tell me his name." Taking the letter, I fought a wave of defeat. "It's sweet. The secret will drive me crazy but it's sweet."

"Maybe he's shy." Colin handed me the letter. "He said there's stuff that could get in the way so maybe there's a reason he's hesitant." He saw something on my face and gave my arm a tug. "Come on," he said. "I'm hungry."

-

Two hours later I was stuffed and twenty bucks down. We'd nixed the board games in favour of poker, which I was usually quite good at.

"Whoever he is, I should be thanking him," Colin said. "You're so distracted my terrible poker face is actually fooling you."

"Sorry." I blushed. I should really be paying more attention. I'm a terrible date." It was said without thinking but as soon as I said it I went red. "Ugh, I know it's not a date, sorry."

He got quiet for a little bit. Then, looking at his cards not me, he said, "It could be a date. I mean if you forget about the letter guy for a bit."

To say I was blown away was an understatement. For a little while I just sat there, then played my hand. When the game was over, I cleared my throat. "Consider him forgotten."

I looked up to find him watching me. We sat there for another few minutes without words and then Colin cleared his throat and said, "Movie or another round?"

To that I laughed. "By the end of the night I'll be broke." I pulled out the twenty I'd brought to chip in on dinner and tossed it on the chips.

He took a deep breath and said, "We'll call it even if you give me a kiss."