Alice's Ears Ch. 06

Alice was indeed hungry, she felt weak, stomach too empty to even growl. Alice gave an animated nod, "I am, for sure, very hungry." She said.

"I tried to transfer some energy from my wings to you as you slept, but I think most of it went to healing injuries. Plus you threw up everything that was in your stomach, everywhere." The seraph grimaced at the recent memory of both cleaning Alice up, and taking care of her in such a sad, diminutive state. Sera closed the distance between her and Alice. Taking Alice's hand in hers, Sera gave a gentle tug. "Now let's get you up and over to a chair."

Lifting an eyebrow, Alice tried to decipher if Sera was joking. "You want me to get out of bed? You realize I can't even stand up right?"

"Gotta walk before you can run," Sera said with a mischievous but encouraging smile.

"I can't even walk though..." Alice responded.

Sera gave another tug on Alice's hand, "Physically therapy hurts... usually? Maybe? Anyway, let's get you healed. I will, or, can make you anything you want, just name it. I make it."

Alice began the long and painful process of sitting up. Everything hurt.

~~~~~~

Days pass. Alice slept for most of the time. Any healing process is long and hard, add a serious concussion to the table and her days were filled with naps and lounging about. It was becoming easier to breathe, though certain things like laughing or deep gasps still made her ribs ache. Her bruises were turning odd shades of yellow and green, a good but off putting sight. At least black and blue was an impressive contrast with her skin. Sera had told Alice that there had been signs of internal bleeding, blood in Alice's waste. But since Alice had stabilized and woken up she had been in the clear, No surgery needed. Still everything ached, and she had a limp in her right leg that she couldn't quite get rid of.

It turned out Sera was a pretty good cook. Though Alice wasn't really sure why. It is not like the seraph ate anything she cooked. Only ever one portion, made for Alice's small but growing appetite. There was never any note of where the ingredients came from either. Sera often left the building Alice was resting in, but never came back with anything. There wasn't even a fridge, just a stove, an oven, and a few cupboards with plates and utensils. Alice was still struggling with asking the tall seraph anything, she was imposing and whimsical, enigmatic and otherworldly. The time would come to ask the trivial, but it wasn't then.

As the healing process continued along with the days, Alice reminisced less and less about her injuries and what had caused them. Her thoughts more often turned to the events that had directly preceded the brutal beating. Sometimes while alone and lying in bed Alice's hands would absently drift down. Her mind would get stuck on certain aspects of the intoxicating tryst. Her fingers always ended up in the same place, circling her swelling clit while events replayed behind her eyelids. She could just about remember how good she felt as they made her come again and again. A feeling her fingers could never replicate. Not even close.

Her thoughts also often drifted to Emma, their friendship had just reached a level she thought unattainable. The two of them had talked literally every day, but Alice was still very much ridden to the room she was in, and Sera hadn't grabbed her phone during her rescue. Alice was lonely, and as much as Sera was technically company, there was something odd about her that kept Alice at a distance. Sera had assured Alice that Alice could come to her with any questions or needs. But there were feelings, needs, Alice felt for Emma that Alice could not ask of Sera, at least not then, not yet.

~~~~~

Later that day, Alice was passing her time by staring at the ceiling in between naps and small walks around a room that was feeling increasingly small as time passed. Bored and going stir crazy she drifted, eyes closed towards Emma's open arms. Alice did her best to remember the feeling of her friend's smooth skin, the smell of her hair, the sound of her breath catching in her throat when everything was going just right. For the third time today she had a hand nestled between her legs, a fervent need driving her fingertips. Sadly for Alice who longed for something wet and unending, she was quite efficient at getting herself off.

"...Emma," Alice whispered quietly as her body begin to quake, the throes of la petit morte. The orgasms she managed to bring herself to were becoming less and less satisfying. She needed something else, someone else. A single tear rolled from her eye to her ear. Alice couldn't tell if it was from a particularly forceful orgasm or the loneliness that was budding and growing. She lifted her hand to her face and licked her fingers clean. She never quite knew why, but she didn't mind the taste of herself, on some days she could even say she liked it.

"Cute!" Sera said excitedly from the doorway. "You even clean yourself like a kitten." A slight teasing tone slipping into her speech.

Alice blushed a bright red and grabbed hold of the covers, pulling them up to her neck. "When did you get here? I didn't hear you come in."

Sera walked over to Alice's bed and sat down on the edge. "You know it is actually kind of complicated, I do go places, but in a sense I am always here." She smirked knowingly as she gazed into Alice's eyes.

"Always always? Like... but you aren't always watching me, right?" Alice said hopefully. She had, once or twice whispered the seraph's name while manipulating herself in similar acts.

Sera responded with a genuine laugh that told Alice everything she needed to know. The seraph gave Alice a gently pat on the leg and shrugged as if to say it didn't really matter either way. Sera rested her hand on Alice's thigh. The cat girl went bright red as it slowly drifted upwards over the thin cover that laid upon her. Alice looked up at the deity whose head was turned away. Her ears were showing the slightest of a pink blush.

Alice reached out and stopped the hand from ascending any further. Sera turned her head quickly and looked down, then up at Alice's face. The seraph quickly pulled her hand away and stood up. Her hand was close to her chest as if it had been burned. Her face was red, pulled in a grimace of embarrassment.

"Sera I... It's just-"

Sera cut Alice off "It's ok, I get it. A fantasy is never the same in the flesh. I have been around a long time, this is not the first." Her words were dismissive, but Alice could tell there was something eating at her tall savior. A frown grew on Alice's face, concern for the eternal. They were both quiet. Without looking back, Sera eventually sighed and walked away without looking back.

"Wait..." Alice said quietly, loud enough for Sera to stop. "Can you get me a pregnancy test? It wasn't exactly a safe time for me."

The seraphim stopped dead, she turned back to Alice, her body stiff. "Oh... Bigger things on your mind then?" She said after a brief pause "I can acquire one, but I don't think you need it."

Alice grew fearful of the ambiguity, her ears beginning to flatten against her head "W-why?" she stuttered "Am I? Can you tell... somehow?"

Sera rubbed the back of one of her arms as she pondered a response. "No. You are not pregnant." She answered eventually.

Alice let out a big breath of relief, a small smile on her face. "Awesome, I am so not ready for kids." She said contended. "How do you know? Can you, tell?"

Sera shook her head, her lips tight "No, I can't tell" she said "Well... maybe? I actually don't know." She couldn't Look Alice in the eyes as she spoke. "But I do know you are not pregnant."

Alice's ears began to flatten again, "...How?" She asked quietly.

"I know because, you..." Sera made eye contact with Alice before continuing, "You are unable to bear."

Alice looked back at the seraph with wide eyes. "Oh." She said eventually.

Sera took a half step forward but couldn't bring herself to move to Alice's bed. "I am sorry..." She said stiffly.

Alice shook her head "No need," A half smile painted on her lips as she responded "I actually wasn't sure if I was ever going to be ready for my own. Guess I don't need to worry."

Sera stood grasping her hands close to her chest, a mournful look in her eyes. "...Sure." She said.

Alice lifted an eyebrow, confused at the somber mood the seraph had slipped into.

Sera turned away, her head hanging low as her arms fell back to her sides. "I AM sorry, my kitten." Her long strides carried her out of the room before Alice could respond.

"Sera..." Alice said quietly to herself and the empty room "Don't go."

~~~~~

Alice couldn't bring herself to scratch a particular itch anymore, not since Sera implied a watchful eye a few days ago. Without that release, the room became even smaller; there was nothing to occupy her mind except daydreaming and sleep. There were no windows. She guessed the passage of time but could never be sure. No sunlight made it so that her sleep patterns skewed and twisted, the only reliable clock was Sera's cooking. Her body was healing but her mind, at best, was stagnant. She made up her mind, she wanted some fresh air.

With a slight limp Alice walked over to the tall deity who was cooking breakfast. Even injured Alice was quiet, Sera didn't seem to notice Alice until she stood beside the being of light.

"Kitten?" Sera asked without looking up from the pan she was tending to.

"You know, some might take offense to the pet name." Alice said, vexed by her unsuccessful sneak attempt.

"Do you?" Sera asked.

Alice sighed "...No, I guess not."

Sera reached over and turned the heat down "You limp is getting better, soon enough." She said nonchalantly.

"My knee, is feeling better, still clicks though." Alice leaned in over the pan and smelled what was cooking, she let out a pleased sigh as herbs and butter flooded her nostrils.

Sera leaned away from Alice. She had yet to come into contact with Alice since her advances had been turned down. She might have been trying a little too hard to avoid touching the cat girl.

"I want to go outside." Alice said, impatient after so many days locked in.

Sera's hands stopped, spatula resting against the bottom of the pan mid stir. "Alice," She said looking at the redhead from the corner of her eye. "I don't think. I mean. That is not a good idea. You shouldn't. You can't."

Alice crossed her arms, annoyed but ever grateful for the care Sera had given her. Still the cabin fever showed in her tone as she spoke. "Why not? You can't keep me in here forever." Alice placed her hand on Sera's arm making the tall seraph twitch on contact. "I honestly can't thank you enough, but look at me, I am walking around. I can breathe, laugh, eat, and whatever. I'm not fully healed but... you know? I am good, I can go home."

Sera's head hung low, a mix of sadness and something else wrinkling her perfect skin. "You can't." She said firmly.

Alice stared at Sera "Why. Not?" She asked again.

Sera sighed and took the pan off of the burner, the flame died without a knob being turned. Still staring at the stove, Sera spoke. "Have you already forgotten what happened to you, how quickly they turned? How quickly everyone turned?" Her tone was that of a parent to a child who couldn't learn a life lesson, angry, but not at Alice. "Why do you think it happened? Or maybe you are just an idealist, focusing on whatever can wrinkle your fingertips as you lay about."

Alice gasped and took a step back, "I... Haven't forgotten." She said with a wavering voice.

"Fuck..." Sera said, bringing a hand to bridge of her nose, "Look, that... that is not what I meant. I am just... just... I don't know. I am sorry."

"Ok..." Alice said furrowing her brow at the seraphs brash behavior, confused. "Then tell me. Why can't I leave?"

"You remember how fast everyone turned, how they changed? Behaviour, attitude, even your friends?" Sera asked.

Alice nodded in response, though they had already been over her recollection.

The seraph took a deep breath and collected her thoughts. "Ok, tell me if something doesn't make sense? You are the product of two, and two again. This new you," Sera said gesturing to Alice's ears, "Should not be, It can't be. I needed power, You needed power, I needed you. I pushed and pushed and pushed. Until an entire world fell, with you as the focal. I pinned you and your other together, pressing until two became one. A product of two, and two again." Sera looked into Alice's eyes to see if she was following.

"Oh... Kay..." Alice said, half understanding the esoteric explanation. "Is this other world gone?"

Sera shook her head. "No, but the other you is, or, it has become one. The other world is," Sera made a gesture with her hands that didn't make sense to Alice, "It is in a different direction than it once was."

Alice shrugged, "Sure..." she said "But why does this mean I can't leave?"

"In a system there must be balance. You are upheaval, a two were there is only a one. Systems take notice, mimicking sentience, consciousness." She grimaced as she spoke, culpability weighing her conscience, "You will forever be two, but this world, your world, will gnash its teeth. It will attempt to grind you until the two becomes one. Minds are easier to sway than trees, but their blows fall just as hard."

Alice was silent, processing the vague answer. The words were fear inducing, though only half understood.

"A system will go to violent lengths to reach its equilibrium. It cannot reach it, not anymore. You are two were there is one. But it will grind you to a pulp. It will split you smaller and smaller until you are mere atoms. But still you will be two. Unceasing, it will hound you, there is no hiding. You are a sun in the night sky. They are moths to the flame." Sera's voice cracked as she spoke. She had gone against nature, existence itself, and pinned it all on this petite young woman. Her magnum opus, the very limit of irreverence to the all.

Alice felt herself compress. Her Spine curved and shoulders sagged. She had asked herself many times why. But her conclusions always came to the diverging patterns of human behaviour. Eventually someone like Mirri would show up, and they would find someone like herself. Someone who waits patiently for the next blow.

Alice leaned against the counter and wiped at her eye. "I... can't leave?" she asked in disbelief.

Sera shook her head and stepped forward to place a hand on Alice's shoulder, but she couldn't bring herself to make contact. "You can't. Unless..." she said, her sentence fading.

Alice perked up slightly "Unless?" she pried.

"Unless... You really, truly, do not wish to exist." Sera replied.

Alice's ears flattened against her head, she looked up at sera with an angry glare. She couldn't hold anger for long, her face fell into sadness, tears forming in her eyes without falling. "So what? No goodbyes? I don't get to see anyone again? That is it?"

Sera reached out again to place a hand on Alice but her hand was batted away. Sera looked wounded, underneath all she felt was guilt. "Alice... I am not sure what you... There is no way. I am-"

Alice looked glumly at the floor, cutting Sera off before she could apologize. "Just don't. Just... you, you said this was your fault? You said you didn't know that I would be gangbanged in a bathroom and beaten almost to death? Were you lying? Did you know?" Her words were cold and emotionless, well past sad.

"I told you Alice. I swear, I didn't know that would happen. I searched and searched as fast as I could." Sera pleaded.

"But you knew what I would become. That I would be attacked... eventually. Right? And you still did it? Whatever you did." Alice stared into Sera's eyes, watching for sincerity.

Sera shrank under the questions. It was one thing to bear the guilt herself, but the weight of it under interrogation was exponential. For a while Sera just stared back at Alice, her head shaking ever so slightly. "I..." she started but was unable to finish.

Alice didn't need to hear the rest, she could see the answer in Sera's eyes. She lifted herself from the counter and began to walk back to the bed, her limp pronounced by the weight of the information. "I think I need some space..." She said without turning back to Sera, hoping the deity knew what she meant.

There was a loud fleshy sucking sound, similar to when Sera's wings retracted. It was startling enough to make Alice turn back to where Sera was standing. But Alice was now the only one in the room. Alice sighed and fell onto the bed. She grabbed a pillow and hugged it to her chest. Her thoughts fell to Emma as she wept. And she fell asleep trying her best to etch her friends face into her memory.