All Comments on 'Alice's Gift'

This is only my second story, and I'd appreciate any thoughts anyone would care to share.

voted 5*

? 'nuff said ?

Alice, this is a great read after it gets going, but I felt that it was pretty jarring just presenting the card and taking her clothes off.. Maybe more believable (and thus hotter) if you had given us some groups on the Dom and his sub wife, so we knew in advance why she was being loaned out. A few groups about how Alice felt about it would have helped, too. Even slaves have feelings about new taskings like this....Nicely written, Keep it up!

Well, I don't know if it's good marketing technique for Literotica's sake, but I appreciate knowing right away that it's going to be a sharing story. So I didn't read more than the first narrative paragraph since I have near zero affinity for such stories, and wouldn't have bothered to say so but you requested comments.

Maybe there is a sub-forum (puns aside) for people to request comment on unposted content on one of the forums on this site. It might be the misused one named for posting about stories already written. But that's not what it's used for by most.

Why?

great concepts, simply explained and properly progressive....could definitely have used more description, more of her/your POV (shock of being loaned to a long-time friend, the humiliation of knowing TOM would happily use all her holes, and more than once since he had her for the night, and what else since nothing was to be denied?) It is BDSM in general nature, but enticingly so...she wants what her Master/Owner wants and gives 100%. Is this a one off for Tom? Or will Alice be loaned once a year for his future birthdays....well done Alice!!

No emotion, no hesitation, no conflict, no tension, no engaging of the senses. "I did this and then I did that and then he did this.'

"Soon I was whimpering, and soon after that came an orgasm." I guess someone might find that hot and erotic.