All Comments on 'All Mixed Up'

Fair. I think he would have been better off divorcing her and getting with his secretary. Based on what you said, that pre-nup not only protected Gina's trust fund, but I would bet his business was also protected. Also, if not with Ellen, I would think Bradley's ex-wife Blanche would be an option. Gina is just behaving as a entitled/spoiled wife and fidelity no longer matters to her. Time to say goodbye.

Yup… much better then your normal shit

If you marry a slut, your chances of being married to a slut are much higher. 🤣

Well done.

way to much background history fucker . i would still divorce the whore .

No real pathos.

3 stars

Better than yesterday, but this one seemed like an offshoot of a 1940"s film noir gangster movie. I expected Jimmy Cagney to jump off the page and steal my lunch money!

Wonder what a ten would be like!

5

All the tedious backstory made this much longer than necessary for such an anticlimactic ending.

I can't believe that a woman who declared she wanted an open marriage would suddenly get cold feet and ditch the idea. That's not how this tends to work.

-

The wife has nearly always started cheating already when she asks for an open marriage. That's why the relationship is already done when she asks.

Also, these "open marriage" wives only start to regret it when the husband starts sleeping with other women. Invariably they seem to think that as they've got bored of their husband, no other woman would be interested. They're then shocked and horrified when he starts getting laid, especially if he gets emotionally attached to someone else. By that time it's too late for her to "save the marriage" and she gets to be a divorced and bitter cat lady.

That's how this should've ended for Gina.

brad better hope it does

Both Gina and Brad wanted to cheat but Brad got a beating while Gina was forgiven. This ending sucks Gina shoukd have also gotten a beating from Mike's group of friends. Or at least Mike stay at his card game and have Gina served with divorce papers at work on Friday morning. 1 star for Gina not suffering any consequences for her betrayal.

I feel like the story is unfinished

Good read.

No cucks.

Thanks demander.

I think there is more to this story.

A focused demander is the best demander, and this story was focused like a laser.

This seems like an attempt to appeal to the btb crowd and the raac crowd at the same time. Keeping a wife that doesn't want to be faithful doesn't work for me.

A mongoose and a cobra fall in love, marry, have a family and live happily ever after?!?!? Original and entertaining, albeit utterly amoral characters. I enjoyed it. Thanks.

Good story outline. Way too much narration making for single dimensional characters. Kinda like “what I did on my summer vacation” remember those back in the day lol

Mike was stony/cold and surgical. As a result, the story wasn’t filled with the emotion that would often suffuse such a situation. Gina was smart enough to do the math…at least for this instance. So, a fragile detente emerged. The author put it all together in his usual well-written style. This story was good, but I’m impressed with the author’s growing body of work. I’m eagerly awaiting the next story, which will likely be coming along shortly.

At least you adhered to the trite formulas that keep your fans frothing at the mouth.

Nice story, I like the way that it develops and the way you manage to focus on her perspective. It feels believable (it's your universe) though I think that Gina would know Mike better to risk anything like this. At the very least, she knew that Mike know Blanche. Maybe one step below the "six" would have been enough? I'm sure that Blanche would be suspicious about the mugging and that Brad, at least for now, wouldn't stray. Thank you for posting it.

Only a matter of time until the slut finds another guy. Sorry, he's a fool for staying with her. Not much of a story, more like an observation of a train wreck waiting to happen.

now if this had just been interesting...

Brad got his. Gina's pissy still wants him. Mike should leave the whore and find one that doesn't buy her panties too big, so they stay on. Demander, you're up there with the best!! Apart 2 would tell us what Mike and WHORELY do. Please write another chapter! 10 stars!

Mike only solved half his problem for the time being by having Brad worked over. Brad just represents "opportunity". Gina has the real problem. She got "bored" and complacent with Mike and felt she was entitled to seek someone else out as a cure for her "boredom". Secure, self confident women who actually love their husbands will cut a pussy hound like Brad off at the knees the first time the come sniffing around.

So let me get this straight... this wife has been having little lunches with Brad, her and Brad decided where HER marriage should go and she tells her husband. She's been lying and deceiving her husband for who knows how long.. she's been cheating with brad. Best believe just cause no dick was inserted in a pussy....it is STILL CHEATING.. cheating is more than just physical....so I'm supposed to believe after all that. She changed her mind and now they can go on with their marriage (that has been damaged) like nothing has happened? no talk, no counseling, no consequences.. nothing... just "Oh, honey, I'm so sorry for trying to open our marriage up, even though I've been a lying, deceitful slut for months... she runs give him a hug and they go home🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣... huh? what happens when there's another brad?... what happens when the temptation is just way too much and she doesn't even talk to him this time and just do it? They never got to the bottom of WHY she got started with brad? How would he know she won't do this again? How can he get passed the months she spent lying, deceiving and pretending to be a loving wife? What about the secrets she kept? So we're just supposed to believe all is well? ....🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.. No.. the wife was blaming this on "temptation" but she was the one putting herself in those positions.. married people don't go out on lunch dates😒.. happily married women don't date other men... this relationship would over... there would be NO trust...he'd be a complete idiot to think a relationship can go on after something like this .. no way he'd be able to trust her. She didn't tell him about brad cause she wanted to be honest with him.. she told him about her boyfriend cause she wanted to cover her ass. 😏.. she was trying to bring him down to her scummy level... that's why she wanted to open the marriage up.. he can't be on his high horse if he fucks others also.. she can slut it up and don't have to worry about her husband leaving.. reading this story this woman always had doubts she'd be able to stay faithful.. I'm a little surprised he didn't know or she didn't tell him... that would give anyone a cause to pause.. the story would've made sense if counseling was done to try to salvage the marriage.. but to just go home as if nothing has happened is just stupid.. it will happen again. Even with counseling there's no guarantee the relationship would be salvageable, but it would at least be believable.. this wasn't.

Wrong person punished. Brad wanted to stop but Gina wanted to continue. Brad gets the punishment? 5*

anon.1

That's a very big brain fart on her part. Most wives never reach that level of stupid. The level of intimate conversation and planning with the other man suggests she will drift toward betrayal again. But, good story.

Too much background story.

Poor climax.

The wife needed some punishment. Maybe a beating at the hands of Blanche.

An OK story

While it's good that Gina came to her senses all on her own rather than having to be coerced the how of it kind of sticks in my craw.

She spends months becoming attracted to Brad and ultimately "losing her mind" enough to go through with announcing her date and plans for an open marriage to Mike.

Then she spends a matter of minutes or maybe a few hours thinking her way through the problem and all of a sudden she regains her sanity and fidelity? Maybe it could happen that way but, it just left me feeling a bit empty.

Liked it. Gina is obviously a slut, but she never tried to hide that. She came to Mike after she’d crossed a few lines but before she fucked Brad, so she gets some credit for that. Brad is just stupid and got a free life lesson that may save his dumb ass. Sadly, I think Gina is smart enough to know she will have to be very clever the next time she decides to stray and she WILL stray eventually.

Not terribly original storyline with 1-dimensional, predictable characters. Did love the get well card ending — highlight of the bit too long piece.

I disagree with most of the comments - the background was needed to set up the “six” text. The husband was one step ahead of her the whole time. I wonder if she will ever connect the dots; the get well card should have been enough.

Glad to see your great writing back. I always enjoy reading your tales. You have a unique way of blending them into imagery that is both vivid and twisted.

Using the old school FAMILY contacts was great in this tale. The character of the husband as a youth, being built into a strong underlying set of values for keeping family moving forward, by working to cover the expenses. Having, a father-in-law who understood that is baby was herself (slut) but still his baby was another excellent storyline. You brought the whole family aspect into the tale while not taking 10 pages of details to create the same images. For someone like me I appreciate someone capable of that.

In 3 pages you wrote a unique tale that brought a young man through a full and good life. Bringing in the quasi-mid-life crisis with an unfaithful wife and lover. While a normal storyline it was told with a different perspective. That, along with handling of the potential treat, are what made it an excellent read for me.

Keep Writing

JH4Fun

Liked the story but thought the end was kind of weak. Expected the punchline to have something to do with "6" .

Narrative was a bit disjointed throughout, like it needed one more pass of editing. I really enjoyed the general story arc, although some pieces have appeared here before. 4*

So the fact she wanted to stray after all those years. Brad get beatin by thugs for what. Next guy who temps her will she stray again. Ending was weak

In the end, you really didn’t make a good case for why he would even WANT to stay married to Gina after her plea/demand about wanting to fuck Brad. At the same time, you didn’t make a good case for why Gina thought telling hubby rather than just doing it made any sense. And you kind of dropped the ball WRT the interaction between hubby and Brady’s wife where both spouses knew what was going on and were determined to stop it. Or did Brad’s wife arrange Brad’s “mugging”?

.

Not your best. Better than yesterday’s trash though.

.

3 ***

Very good story. Tightly done in three pages and interesting, if not suspenseful. *****

LOVED that he said nothing, just handled his business! For someone supposedly so smart she truly underestimated her husband. It's like she had no idea who he was!!!!

Gina needed to feel some real pain and then move on.

Not bad but I wish some of these writers would learn the difference between story and fluff. In 99% of the cases the back story is worthless and just adds useless words. Without the page and a half of unrelated back story, this author could have included more meat. I gave it 4 stars.

Enjoy the read but Gina got off scott free. It does take two to tango.

Too forgiving towards the wife

Didn't like how Mike handled (or lack there of) his wife. Her sense of entitlement, disrespect and disloyalty didn't go away. Seems like next time she might not ask. Can't believe Mike didn't really do anything.

Wow, the husband has his rival beat up and discourages him How does that take care of the wife. She wants to stray how will he keep her in line?

A proper handling of the intruder

Your no-nonsense style is excellent.

The usual secret and highly improbable secret sources. And a rarely used LW niche: mob wives don't cheat twice.

5* - great story of a man sure of his abilities, rational and measured in his actions. What the basement virgin anony's here don't see is a story line where the MC simply refocused her attention on what was important. Ready to escalate but giving her a chance to learn what is important. Sure she has issues, but then who doesn't. The writing was tight and well done, the story simple and time honored. The grass always seems greener but history teaches us it's usually not. You know this has gotten to be way of the world now - through out the baby with the bathwater as it were. Nuance and graduated reactions to events - instead of blowing everything up is not considered by most people. Sad commentary on our times.

Meh 3 stars. The lot idea was great. Some elements were too exaggerated. Mike was a financial genius before he was a teen and at 14 he became the financial advisor for a wealthy criminal family. He is average size but becomes the hulk when physical violence is needed. He is average looking average size average cock but the world’s greatest lover. demander wanted a super cool husband character so Mike was written as the temperature of liquid nitrogen. No emotions equals nothing interesting. To make the plot work demander writes Gina suddenly transformed from one of the 2 smartest women Mike knows to a below average intelligence woman hit by a slut ray with no explanation or believable character development.

Liked it but would have appreciated a few more closing sentences to tie the story up neatly. 4*.

Damn, I liked it. I really enjoy tough guy, old neighborhood connections. I think the marriage will be just fine now. Who needs a marriage counselor and weeks of therapy when you have good friends.

Mike should have kicked Gina to the curb. Then he should have gotten together with a now recently divorced Blanche. Have Brads kids start calling him daddy while he puts one or two more babies in her belly. Show her visibly pregnant when Brad comes to pick up his kids for his days. Then love Blanche to his dying days. She seems a lot smarter then Gina

I don't think she will stray again. He nipped it in the bud before they crossed that line and could not return. Lessons learned all around. For Brad it would have been worse or even permanent.

Great tale by a gifted writer. I enjoyed it. The tale flows smoothly in a gradual crescendo and the swift end does not disappoint most readers, except for the diehard crowd of BTB at all costs. Thanks for the story

Really a not very good tale! Gina has acknowledged that she wants to cheat and planned to cheat. So, is a cheater at heart. How does Mike trust Gina now? Well, in the real world you can't!

she read like a horrible person from day one, all through the marriage, and up until now. So she has an idea that hubby had the lover boy beat up. What is to stop her from finding another guy?

He should still be pissed with his wife.

After all she showed she wanted to cuckhold him.

Maybe next time she wouldn’t tell him she was going to cheat.

That’s what I would feel anyway.

Maybe another chapter is needed.

Good story. 5/5

Good story line. The background was a bit tedious.

The narrative style of this story was too stiff. It wasn’t as bad as reading a dictionary but not far from it.

This one was close to 5*, until the get well card. Really, he should have had her served at work that Thursday, just for suggesting the open marriage. Being honest about her intentions, doesn’t warrant a delay, and certainly smashed his trust in her.

Hmmm...maybe. Demander put some spin on the ball here, and I liked it. First voted 3, but am upgrading to a 4. Kind of a "just the facts, ma'am" delivery, which was true of yesterday's story. Liked how this one turned out better, though. But my opening remark suggests that "the end" is probably premature. QuickMagazine notes here some similarities to demander's earlier "Company Holiday Party." At least, Brad got to live another day. Unlike William in the party tale. However, given that Mike's got an option on Ellen, and that Gina has always been a slut, stay tuned in.

Good job.

Good story but the ending or lack thereof made it a 3*.

A story where 1 of the MCs who already decided on infidelity doesn't end that cut and dry.

Good story. Background character building could have been a little tighter. Gina was disposable typical self absorbed slut. If you do a second chapter it flows that she cheats. Why" because she feels entitled.

I'm not suggesting he have his wife assaulted, but I believe his problem is his wife, not some guy SHE DECIDED to boink. She seems unhappy and borderline not trustworthy. Is it worth remaining married?

Yeah that wasn't a good ending. She's gonna cheat sooner rather than later.

Too bad they did nut crush both of his balls. He would never be in a place to cheat again. As far as the wife that would be stike 1 and 2. Her next screw up would be her last.

So very liked it. No cheating, some stupidity, lessons learned, and case closed. Writing and back story were focused and done really well. Thanks for sharing. 5 stars

Mike's a very interesting character, Gina is just a casting call slut. I he unilateral declaration of an open marriage should effectively kill theirs. Mike can legitimately no longer trust her.

The man that made no vows to him gets a level 6 physical punishment even though the wife called it off. So, we expected that the woman that did take vows with him would get at least a level 7 punishment, right?!? Nope, in demander’s world the traitor suffers NOTHING! This is absurd. His “connections” would expect him to, at a minimum, divorce the slut, if not more. Letting her get away with disrespect means that no one else will respect him either. She will be made an example of, or he will! If authors are going to include the cliché of “honor societies” in their stories, they should at least write them correctly.

ZK

Incomplete story. Why stay with a wife that wants to have a affair. She will find another guy coming on to her and next time be more discrete. What with beating up the potential lover. Not a good ending for sure

Excellent!

I’ve mixed feelings about this story, but it does exemplify an issue in writing style - IMO.

You’ve come up with some good storylins and some well trod themes as well. The issue is common to many ofnyours - very minimal cgaeacter development that makes it difficult for the reader to gain empathy with any of the characters. That lack of development also reduces the main story to an almost robotic “he-he said/she did-she said”.

Add in way to much detail in a background story that has but a coincidental linkage (at best) with the main storyline. A third of the story is “skip, don’t read” about the life of the main character from primary school to college. Really? Its mostly WTFC material while relegating the 25 year marriage, kids, etc to a paragraph or two.

What little character development there was makes the outcome not credible for the husband main chracter. It takes two to cheat; it is simply not credible that the husband would take the action he did against his wife’s love interest, yet just shrug his shoulders where his wife was concerned.

IMO - YMMV

I didn’t like Gina at all, she’s not going to quit looking for fun. I gave you the *5 for not letting Mike forget about showing Brad the error of his ways.

I find it interesting how your stories reveal so much about yourself, or at least appear to. You think adultery happens when a penis enters a vagina? That's like thinking a plane crash happens when the plane hits the ground. Gina wanted to commit adultery, planned to commit adultery, and would have completed the sexual act except for one thing: external influences. Gina did not recover her ethics and morals and discipline. No, she had her plans intercepted by external reactions and behaviors. Without those external forces Gina would happily and enthusiastically be fucking Brad, when, where, and for however long she wanted. And she didn't even care if that meant her husband too was fucking another woman. Obviously Gina had already decided to abandon her marriage vows, and she wasn't that concerned about her husband's vows if it meant she got to become Brad's slut. So the only reason Gina didn't fuck Brad was because she realized she couldn't get away with it. But she still would if she could. So what does that mean about future business travel, future handsome studs she gets the opportunity to fuck, and she feels certain she won't get caught? Yeah, that's what you think the Mike character you created is going to spend the rest of his marriage waiting and wondering? Nope, the marriage is toast; the Old Gina is gone, perhaps undone by Martian Slut Ray. Mike will soon come to realize and accept the inevitable logic that his wife is a ticking time bomb of infidelity and shallow selfish lust. As soon as Mike finds a better woman he will cut Gina loose. And it will be grand. I hope someone writes that sequel. Thanks for the effort.

Way too much backstory. Marriage was over after wife said to boyfriend ""Nothing for now. I still want you. I'll see about the date. Maybe...we can still go." She learned nothing and didn't really love him. Mike could never trust her after that point.

Good story, l liked it

Scores 4/5

A little dry but enjoyable.

Well it didn't 'end the matter'. He hasn't even tried to address her issues. Her feelings are real and if it isn't Brad there will be someone else. She's bored. Are they really going to stay married just because Mike gets her boyfriends beaten up? Curious basis for a loving relationship!

What happened to the dialogue? Hardly any but too much narration. Looses in terms of any drama, even with Mike's silent reply.

Blanche DuBois!!! Spaghetti? Noooooo... that's for company, when all 47 of several generations of four to six marriage- and blood-related families get together! The perfect ending would've been to include his driver's license with the get well card. "P.S. Found your DL behind the windshield wiper of my truck went I got off work." Your usual excellent story, with all its unique twists and obliques! 5+++++/5

4 stars. Almost 5, except I honestly can't understand - the author didn't sell me on it - why he'd want to keep her?

It is realistic-ish - he wanted to keep her BUT not to force her into it. That was the right way to do it. There may be a lot of different reasons people cheat, and many situations, but a LOT of them is because they believe they can do so without losing their spouse. Sort of an adult version of shoplifting candy. In this case, he was lucky and when he made her realize she'll lose him, it worked.

I would have destroyed the guy's genitals in the attack, if I was writing it. I'm not a fan of "the cheater gets off while her partner gets punished" in general - depends on situation - but in THIS story, she was honest with her spouse and he was lying to his. So I see his sin as greater, in the big scheme of things.

"She'd had many before Mike," - So, she can't use the "You're the only man I've ever been with" excuse.

\

"N'walins" - I don't know the "correct" spelling for the slang term for New Orleans, but I don't think that is it.

\

"Neither of the men wanted the business relationship to become public knowledge" - What kind of business? I thought he was an investment adviser.

\

Kind of meh.

Good story but still lacks closure. Still has unresolved feelings. A mugging as retribution from a mega wealthy individual not likely. I would have sent him a picture of a plastic lined storage unit with a super sub zero freezer and a wood chipper with his name on them if he is caught out with anyone other than his wife and to prove a point a current picture of him which could be dated. Just to let him know he was being watched. May a call from a burner phone and a voice modulator and the message less than 20 sec but clear and to the point.

Great story but I agree with Dessertman. There's another story here! Bring it home demander.

The ending was pretty unsatisfying. She has an itch that she won't scratch out of fear of her husband? I wonder how many guys will get worked over before she is sure why.

Boyd Percy

Sleepin wit da fishes.

A big waste of time.

Love it when a man stands for what's right and the woman comes to her senses.

Hmmm, something is missing and fo’ sure some business are still open .

Captcha

Nearly a 5 but the ending seemed too abrupt. She had already decided to cheat in a quite calculated way. She has been shut down for now but the next time will be better planned. She now knows what mistakes she made and won't repeat them. I think a part 2 where he knows exactly what is going on and you take it from there. 4 stars.

I have read a few of your stories, this one I liked the most.

I think you needed a touch of feelings in it though, it seemed a bit hard. I disliked the overthinking of the back story; it was far too deep. Too deep in fact that it overtook the story.

The ending was far too sharp, and we never got to learn the meaning of "six"

But overall, a great story. nice 4*

Nah the slut got away with it

You just wasted my time, there's no conclusion. It's obvious that brain dead woman will still cheat

This one because the husband took charge the wife knew better than to do it the other guy got what he deserved

Haydn

I like a lot of your stories but this one felt a little flat. 3-stars. Maybe it was the fill or fluff, or what others call the back story, but the meat of the story just felt flat. Maybe next time.