All Comments on 'All Parties on the Same Page'

She needs more characterization other than just being a jerk. I can't tell if she's serious about not wanting him to have sex with her or she is playing the part. If she's serious then it's kind of lame and being an asshole is less sexy imho

woww nice story as always...

Wonderful.

Wife cares and fucks other man.

My wife too.

An umpire? Wow. Who'd sink that low?

If this was a story about a man exploiting and mentally ill wife with horrible self-confidence and esteem issues....

I liked the story. There were a lot of paragraph breaks that seemed unnecessary.

The switching from past to present tense then back to past tense was aggravating. Stick with one tense, or make clear there's a reason for the switch. There were several places where the same paragraph used both: stick with one tense. I gathered the reason, if it was intentional, was to lend immediacy to the story, but as a reader it took me out of the story and had the opposite effect. If the idea of a story is to suspend disbelief while the reader is lost in the story, switching tense serves to eject the reader while he figures out what just happened, and then switching back again does the same thing.

I didn't find the story objectionable, and there are hints that Jeanette drops that tantalize; she says after that she likes having sex with other men, strongly suggesting this isn't her first time, but part of an ongoing process. That she dropped hints at the ball park with suggestive language was ambiguous; she may have been priming Roland, or perhaps Roland was hopeful in what he heard.

The story serves male fantasy; I thought it did that well.

Screwing the ump is bestiality.

I like the harsher wives but ones that aren't so over the top they're unrealistic. You nailed the sweet spot with this. Hope to see it continued.