All Comments on 'Almost Pt. 03.1'

A great story, but for some reason, it gives me bad vibes. Because of my bad memory, I read again from Chapter 1, and I see the commentary of the protagonist in which says that here is told the story of a love that broke his heart. Then comes this chapter and I read about so many doubts Sam has about Dan. Is she the one who breaks Dan's heart? And if Cheryl is her best friend, who in her past came to rescue her from a rape, why is she doubting so much about her ability to find a suitable date?

And for the last questions (so far), why does the government monitor Dan with two agents? Is he a genius and needs to be protected from someone? Or is your family more than has been told so far?

5 * for you and waiting for the next chapter to arrive soon!

I apologize for my English (yet and forever), isn't my native language.

Great story looking forward to the next chapter, soon please.

Ugh, the conversations are stilted. It needs editing, this for example:

"I'm not finished Cheryl yet."

"I'm not finished YET, Cheryl"

@ anonymous re: editing needed - you are 100% correct - to paraphrase another writer here ( I enjoy reading) with a twist: do I need an editor? Yes - do I want an editor? Yes! - Have I tried to get an editor? - YES!

@ anonymous re: waiting for the next chapter - I got the next 2 in the works and almost completed, but they need some serious editing. I hope to have 3.2 up next week and then 4 the week following. Thank you for your encouraging words.

@ TheOIdRomantic - This story Is going to become more improbable and the situations more ridiculous. In the next couple of chapters, the truth about Dan's "studies" and background, his connection with government, and what happens with Samantha will be revealed. It's a silly story about misperceptions people make about others. I am going to introduce more (6-10) more characters from extremely different backgrounds who interact in a "When Worlds Collide" type of story. I personally like Loving Wives storys . The dynamics of those relationships are interesting and harsh. I want to bring that to this story but in a different way. A fun, twisted, and humorous way. Thanks for your comments. All the best!

Keep 'em coming...please!

Dan is computer geek who is apparently doing something important for national security and he hasn't done a search on this girl online before he even got home? Its not like she is going to be hard to find.

Bit of a plot hole I think but nice writing.

You really need an editor to tighten this up. Good storyline. But it is entirely completely and unnecessarily way to wordy for your own good.

It would be three times as good if it was half as long.

Story is good but WTF, with a 37% approval rating, you give that POS far too much respect. Most Canadians get that. Who gives a crap who’s on Trump’s contact list; if they are, they are certifiable and Fox watchers.