Alpha Ch. 12

Nix smiled, her eyes burning with tears as her heart swelled with joy. "I'm so proud of you."

Ealasaid smiled but before she could say anything a cold quiet came over the Pack. Turning her head, Ealasaid watched as the huge brown wolf stepped from between the trees and into their midst.

Elena regarded the scene in front of her slowly. Her mind was in turmoil but even in her wild, feral state, she could recognise the scents of her Pack. There was a soft thud, as the ball fell to the ground and rolled to rest in front of her.

The entire Pack watched warily as Elena leant her giant head down and sniffed at the white ball by her feet. Ealasaid was tense, ready to leap up at the first sign that Elena was distressed.

Elena was still then, with one paw, she pushed the ball back towards the crowd. Her tail wagged slightly and Leif came forward eagerly. Nix tensed, her hand gripping Ealasaid's tightly as she watched her child move towards the huge beast. Leif picked up the ball and turning, threw it across the clearing. Immediately, Elena went bounding after it, snatching it up in her jaws and trotting back to drop it at Leif's feet.

Leif grabbed it and threw it to Orion. Elena bounded between them, her tail wagging and a smile on her beastly face. Nix's grip relaxed on Ealasaid's hand and the two women watched the wolf playing gently with the children.

"Look." Ealasaid breathed. "She looks happy."

"She does." Lucius agreed but his tone was dark.

"You're worried?" Ealasaid asked.

"The longer she stays like that, the harder it will be for her to go back. I've seen what happens to people who lose themselves to their wolf side, it's painful and it tears them apart."

Ealasaid held up her hand, stopping Lucius in his tracks. Her eyes were still focussed on Elena and she smiled happily.

"She's hurting and this is how she's dealing with it. She lost her Mate, if this makes her feel better," Ealasaid waved her hand over the scene in front of them, "then let her do what makes her happy. When she's ready to come back, we'll be there to help her do it."

Ealasaid pushed herself from the blanket and joined the game of catch now going on. Elena still ran back and forth snapping at the ball and catching it out of the air. As Ealasaid joined them, her Second bounded towards her and pressed her head against Ealasaid's hand. Ealasaid stroked the warm fur behind Elena's ears and heard the rumbling coming from the beast.

Lucius watched them carefully but his fear was gone. It was the first time since Jaylon's death that the two looked happy, truly happy.

"I can smell your brain smoking; I've never seen you think this much." Nix said jokingly.

"I love seeing her happy, both of them, but I just worry what will happen if Elena can't change back. What if she's gone too far?" Lucius said.

"Like Ealasaid said, when she's ready to come back we'll be here to help her do it. Now I'm starving, want me to bring you a plate?"

Lucius nodded looking back into Caius' face. "That'd be great."

The rest of the day passed without incident. The Pack played, laughed and bonded like never before and Ealasaid couldn't help the sense of pride that took hold of her heart. What she had told Anton was true, she had always dreamt of a big family and looking on the crowd gathered because of her, she felt she had finally achieved it.

They stayed in the clearing until way after dark. When the sun set the forest was lit by the light of thousands of stars that shone brighter than any they had ever seen. The air was still warm and the Pack lounged on the blankets, drinking, eating and talking amongst themselves.

As it grew later small groups began to break away and head back to the castle. Eventually, Lucius, Anton, Corban, Elena and Ealasaid were left. Elena padded back and forth, snapping up any dropped bits of food and chasing off the occasional squirrel while the other cleared away the blankets and empty bottles.

"So, we gonna talk about whatever this is?" Corban asked suddenly. He waved his hand towards Anton who raised his eyebrow in amusement.

"We can talk about it." Anton said with a smirk. Corban's reaction was what he had been expecting, Corban was never one to mince words and so his blunt question was not a surprise.

"So what happened? You're different now right?" Corban was looking at Anton's blood red eyes as he spoke.

Anton nodded. "Yeah."

"Are you dangerous?" Corban asked.

Anton was silent for a moment. Pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket he shook one loose before offering them around. Everyone took one and they all watched Anton, waiting for his answer.

He lit his cigarette and took a deep drag. Watching the glowing end, he exhaled thoughtfully and shrugged one massive shoulder. "I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? Dude, you're around my kids that's not an answer you can give me when I ask you if you're dangerous." Corban rubbed his hand over his face in frustration.

"Yeah I guess not." Anton said tiredly making Corban snarl in exasperation.

"I think he's gonna need a better answer than that boy." Lucius said, barely hiding his laughter and his accent coming through in his amusement.

"I honestly don't know if I'm dangerous." Anton admitted. "I've never been around people as a Demon. When I left Hell I was human and then I've been Were for centuries. This is all new territory for me but do you really think I would let myself hurt the pups? Don't you know me better than that?" He directed his last question to Corban.

"I don't fucking know anything anymore. Couple years ago everything was simple and now look at us." Corban said, rolling his eyes as he took another drag on his cigarette.

Ealasaid raised a hand guiltily. "I gotta take the blame for everything going to shit."

"It wasn't you, it was Drago. Fuck it was all of us." Corban threw back at her. "We started all of this when we met you. You would have been safe without us getting involved and then he, he fucking left after causing all this shit?" He paused. "You were the best thing that happened to him and I will never understand how he could throw it away."

Ealasaid shrugged. "I don't know if any of us will understand why he left but he had his reasons and I can't change it now. You are my family, all of you and whether Drago is part of that or not it will never change how I see you."

Elena came forward and pressed her nose into Ealasaid's back. Ealasaid could see the pain in the wolfs eyes and scratched behind the beast's ear.

"We lost a few along the way that should still be with us but they're still here. In some ways they're still here." Ealasaid said not taking her eyes off Elena's. "This is where things start to get better. For all of us."

The rest of her Council nodded and Ealasaid crushed her cigarette out under her heel. She began to leave the clearing and the rest fell in behind her. Back at the castle they began to filter away. Corban heading towards his bedroom and his Mate. Lucius smiling sadly and disappearing to his own room alone, his mind on Oana. Anton stroked the back of Ealasaid's neck before leaving her alone with Elena. Ealasaid beckoned and the wolf trotted obediently after her.

Ealasaid paused outside her room and motioned for Elena to enter first. Ealasaid closed the door and, without a word, walked through to the bathroom and began to run the water filling up the deep tub. Taking a bottle of bubbles, she poured in nearly half the bottle and turned back to Elena.

"This has got to stop baby." She said and Elena growled low in her throat. "Come back to me."

The wolf shook its huge head and let out another growl.

"Come back to me." Ealasaid repeated.

The air around Elena began to shimmer. The fur melted away and finally Elena stood naked, bruised and broken. Her eyes were dark sunken pits in her face and they stayed the bright yellow shade rather than returning to their beautiful blue. Her nails were still curved claws, torn away from the nail bed and raw. Ealasaid could see every rib through her thin skin and she was covered in a mixture of blood and dirt.

"Come here." Ealasaid beckoned to Elena and watched her animal like gait as she came towards the bath.

Ealasaid gently guided her into the bath and Elena looked at the water as the blood and dirt washed from her skin. Ealasaid sat on the edge of the sunken tub and dangled her legs in the water. Pulling Elena back between her legs she raised her hand and the water lifted to cascade through Elena's hair.

"Do you remember the first time I met you?" Ealasaid asked.

Elena jumped at her Alphas words before nodding her head.

"I felt so lost after I changed. I didn't know if what I was doing was the right thing. Who was I to judge the people in the Order?" Ealasaid paused and reached for the shampoo. Squeezing some into her palm she began to massage it through Elena's hair. "Then I saw you. You looked at me like you had been waiting for me your whole life. Like you had dreamt of me. You were the only truly good thing in that place and when you looked at me I knew that things had to change."

Again Ealasaid paused and brought her hand back up, bringing the water with it and washing the shampoo from Elena's hair. Taking the conditioner, she repeated the process feeling the knots and tangles work loose from the ebony locks.

"You were there your whole life but you managed to stay good. That was everything to me and now I'm losing you." Ealasaid said passed the lump in her throat. Placing her hands on Elena's shoulders she turned her Second to look at her. "I know I can't begin to imagine what you're feeling now but I won't watch you do this to yourself anymore. Next time you might not be able to turn back and I can't lose you. Not after everything."

Elena said nothing. As Ealasaid watched, her eyes darkened from the shining yellow to their familiar blue and Elena nodded again, one single jerk of her head. Ealasaid let out her breath.

Standing, she took Elena's hand and pulled her from the water. Wrapping her in a towel Ealasaid lead her through to the bedroom and began to dry her skin. Shedding her own clothes, she climbed into the bed and pulled Elena to her. Elena's head rested on her breast just above her heart and Ealasaid wrapped her arms tightly around her friend. Slowly, tentatively, Elena's slid her arms around Ealasaid's waist and nestled closer.

Ealasaid cradled the back of her head, stroking her damp hair. "My dad took care of you all those years, took you out to run under moon and see the stars. Now I'm going to do the same. I'm going to take care of you."

"I miss him. It hurts too much." Elena's voice was hoarse from lack of use and her throat was raw from howling and snarling.

Ealasaid jumped at the sound of Elena's voice and gathered her closer to her chest. "I'll do whatever I have to do to make this better. I promise."

Elena didn't answer. Ealasaid stroked her hair until her breathing became soft and even then waved her hand to extinguish the candles in the room. She looked down into her Seconds face and stroked her cheek gently.

A sudden chill swept through the room and Ealasaid felt a presence behind her. She turned her head but there was no one there. Ghostly hands caressed her skin, one sliding down her waist to hold her hip and the other wrapping tightly around her neck. Ealasaid felt a figure press against her back and felt their breath as they spoke into her ear.

"I'll give you tonight with your pup Anima, but tomorrow, you're mine."

Ealasaid shuddered. Baal's hand glided down, over her thigh before coming back to her hip. She bit her lip keeping her moan quiet so as not to wake Elena.

"Tomorrow you're mine." Baal repeated then, just as quickly as it had appeared, his presence was gone. Ealasaid felt a chill without his touch and held Elena tighter. She fell asleep with a smile on her face.

*

"I can't fucking do it!" Oana shouted in frustration, her shout was followed by the sound of smashing glass.

The deep scent of her blood filled the room and Tanner sighed. Pushing himself up from the bed he crossed the room to her and took her hand in his. Immediately, his teeth grit together and his canines grew into sharp, pointed fangs.

"It takes time, you'll get it." He said, forcing his words out through his gritted teeth.

A deep, rumbling growl started in his chest and his grip on her hand tightened. Her blood, deep red and perfect, stained her pale skin and assaulted his senses. With a shuddering breath Tanner steadied himself and pushed the hunger down.

"How do you do that?"

Tanner's eyes snapped up to Oana's face at her question. She was looking at him with awe and his heart ached at the sight.

"Do what?" He asked.

"Stop yourself. Aren't you hungry?"

Tanner laughed derisively. "All the time."

"Then how do you stop yourself?"

"Years of training myself to be able to. It's not easy, none of this is easy." Tanner dropped his eyes back to her hand. The cuts on her knuckles from the broken mirror had already healed but the blood still dripped down her wrist.

"Years?" Oana said, her voice cracking and her eyes filling with blood-like tears.

"It will be different for you." Tanner said soothingly.

"Why?"

"Because you are starting now. I had years of giving into every want before I changed. When I was turned things were different. People were more aware of creatures like me, like us, when I was first turned. Our Nest would take whole villages, drain them of every drop of blood and leave the corpses to be found. I gave into every urge I had. It took me years to be able to ignore them."

"What made you stop?" Oana asked.

"What?"

"What made you stop hurting people?"

Tanner paused, then sighed. He fought with himself about what to tell her, but looking into her red eyes and seeing the trust and despair on her face, he knew he had to say something, anything, to help her.

"There was a girl. My Nest took a village; it was house a little way from the others. We broke down the door. There were eight people, all holding each other. They had heard the others screaming, they knew what was coming. They just tried to hide, they never had a chance. I could smell someone else. She was upstairs. She was stood in front of a door and she had this look on her face."

Tanner paused. He forced himself to let go of Oana's wrist and stepped backwards towards the bed. Rubbing his hands over his face he sat on the bed and sighed.

"She was young, just a kid but she was standing in front of this door and just watching me. She had these beautiful green eyes. I knew she was hiding something in that room. I told her to move but she didn't, she just shook her head. She was so scared; I could see how scared she was but she didn't move. I knew if the others saw her they would tear her apart. I told her to move but she didn't. She just stood there, shaking her head and looking at me. I could hear the others coming so I pushed her away and opened the door."

Oana felt a chill at the similarities between Tanner's story and her own. She too, had stood in front of a monster, guarding a door with no thought to her own life.

"What was in the room?" She asked wrapping her arms around herself tightly. She didn't want to hear his answer, she knew what it would be, but there was a sick part of herself that needed to hear him say it.

"Two kids. Her brother and sister. The boy was maybe five and he was holding this tiny thing in his arms. It was just a baby. I couldn't move, they looked so scared. I looked back at her and she still just stood there. She didn't move. She just said 'please'. She was willing to give herself to us if she could save her brother and sister."

Oana shuddered. "What did you do?"

Tanner was silent. His dark eyes were focussed on a spot just over her shoulder as he thought back to that night. His hands twisted in his lap and his foot tapped against the floor.

"Tanner?" Oana pressed gently. "What did you do?"

"I let them go. I couldn't bring myself to hurt them. I was just like them when I was taken; scared and weak. I hid them, turned my Nest away and I've never fed on a human again. Every time I was tempted I would see her eyes and it stopped me."

Oana was torn. He had been too vague, too quick, in the ending of his story. She could feel a deep guilt coursing between them through their bond but he was her Sire, she would believe anything he told her.

"It will be easier for you. You haven't indulged the urges so they will be easier to control. I can't tell you how to do it, these things are different for everyone but I will be there to help you through it." Tanner rubbed the back of his neck, feeling a tension there that he hadn't felt in years. He had lied to his Child, kept one of the biggest parts of himself from her and it weighed on his heart.

"There are children here. How can I be sure I won't hurt them? I've already hurt my Vanator, I've done nothing but hurt him, please." She paused and fixed him with a pleading stare. "Don't let me hurt anyone else. Lock me away if you have to, chain me in silver, do whatever you have to do just don't let me hurt him again. Promise me you won't let me hurt anyone else."

Tanner nodded. "I promise."

Oana was quiet, rubbing her hands over her upper arms. Her mind was racing. She wanted to see Lucius, she missed him but the fear in her gut stopped her from moving an inch. Tanner watched her inner battle, feeling the pain through their bond.

"I want to try again." She said decisively.

Tanner smirked. "You sure kid? We're running out of mirrors."

"I miss him and I can't see him again until I know I can control myself. I have to learn so I can see my Vanator again."

"You're hungry, you're tired, you need to rest."

"No! I need to learn. I can't see myself, I have no pulse and I'm so hungry all the time. Please, you need to teach me."

"You need to feed." Tanner said in defeat and beckoned her to him.

She came without argument. He pushed her to sit on the floor between his legs and brought his wrist to her lips. She held his arm in both of her hands and bit into his wrist. Immediately his blood flooded into her mouth and she latched on greedily.

Tanner gritted his teeth. He was already weak; he hadn't fed in months. Trembles ran through him and he closed his eyes as he pressed his lips together tightly. Oana drank desperately. The aching hole in her stomach was never full for long but pressed against her Sire and feeling the cold touch of his skin she felt a calm rush through her.

Finally, she pulled away and dropped her head back against his thigh. Instinctively Tanner brought his hand up and rested it in her soft blonde hair. He twisted a lock around his fingers as he waited for his breathing to even out and his chest to loosen.

"We can try again but first we need to rest. You won't be able to do anything when you feel this way." He said gently and she nodded in acceptance.

Tanner lifted her and lay her on the bed. Standing, he pulled the covers over her and stroked her hair back from her face. Her eyes were already closed and within seconds she was asleep. Tanner stepped back from the bed and watched his child sleeping. She was so beautiful, so strong and so determined to control the raging feelings inside her. He was already so proud of her.

His own hunger built higher and higher in his stomach until it was unbearable. He couldn't take it anymore. The intoxicating scent of her blood filled his head and he had to force himself to step away from her and leave the room.

"What the fuck." Tanner stepped out of the door and almost collided with a figure stood just outside.

"I'm sorry." A young man held his hands up and stepped backwards. "I'm sorry."

"What are you doing out here?" Tanner asked.