All Comments on 'Always a Bridesmaid Pt. 01'

OMG the wedding dress scene was so deciciously sexy. What a promising start to the story!

“Where is the joy in that?” Get the obvious point of the closing line, just hoping there is a deeper romantic answer for our heroine. Love the romantically charged tension you bring to your characters and stories — agree totally with Toesucker about that scene. Going back, I was captivated by “Unlikely Love” and how you crafted that love story. Continue to enjoy what you share/create. Hopeful for your bridesmaid.

A nice start to what looks like a tantalizing story

Aaah, Drama ahead alert! But <3

The battle is not finished for Carlotta as she sees her bride Paula leaves after chosing a wedding gown. Carlotta will scheme to put herself in Paula's shoes as she sees to dominate her.

<3<3<3<3<3 It gets the 5 heart rating from me!

"Another part of me was instantly worried that it would make us more distant from one other. Her boyfriend--now fiance--always felt distant to me, like he was tolerating my presence, or, even worse, saw me as a threat."

Well considering her feelings his instincts are right. LOL.

"I remembered that she had not been smiling as much as I thought she should be, so I had grabbed her ass cheek in my hand and squeezed it, making her gasp and making her break into a huge smile,"

Interesting - friends taking advantage of friends under the guise of a "touchy feely" joke. But women are incapable of such things so it must be my imagination.

"Lunch at Hung Chow was okay but not spectacular as it usually was. The owner was nowhere to be seen, so it was probably his idiot nephew running the place at the moment. The guy was a walking disaster, and what he lacked in intelligence was shamed by his behavior, often hitting on every woman in the restaurant. I had scared the shit out of him the first time he tried that on me, so I guessed he was hiding in the back to avoid another confrontation. Fortunately a cute asian girl was the cashier today, and her form-fitting outfit gave me a minor thrill while paying the bill." Just couldn't help it. Always some male doing something creepy. Friend has lascivious thoughts about friend and it's love but make her a him and everyone cries "me too"

Carlotta admits that her friend make her HORNY yet Paula only sees affection. All these stories are the same. Just waiting for Jackson's villain arc.

Too many incels and homophobes in the comments, I think.

alferdog: begging for attention. The name suits you.

It's a glaring pattern of all the stories here.

Now go fetch some original insults.

From your friend: Puppy Chow 🐾 💀

SadPuppy Chow: Frank from Don’t Worry Darling has entered the chat. We get it, Frank: You want exterminate allthe LGBT people and force all women to be home and out of the workforce. I’m not sure Literotica is the best venue for your campaign; you’re too easily triggered here!

Neither is an insult. “Homophobe” is just a descriptor, and to the best of knowledge, “intel” is the term you guys have chosen for yourselves.

alferdog: as you roll over and take your treat reflect on this: you insinuated that the comments highlighting the behavior by Carlotta as predatory - are homophobic and the result of "incelitis" - yet you never address the characters behavior. All you did was go scorched and attack commentators that have an opinion on the story and characters. "you’re too easily triggered here!" Is this a joke? Did you read your response before you posted it? We went from a story on Literotica to (extermination) because you are fighting some make believe monster. How about next time you comment on the story instead of treating this like some thread on reddit.

From your make believe arch-nemesis: Puppy Chow 🐾💀

Really good, can´t wait for part2

Love your writings Christa, I tried to wait for it to be completed but couldn’t hold off… 5s

The repressed passion is conveyed so well. I look forward to seeing where you take this, Christa xxxxx

This is really good!

I really enjoyed this and found it very well-written. I love the voice of the narrator.

I do have a couple of small criticisms that you might consider.

You tend to use cliches in your similes. "My own body was wound like a tight spring" "I bawled my eyes out like it was the end of the world" and many more throughout. You also overuse qualifiers such as "very" and "almost".

You overuse adverbs: " Bright sunlight assaulted my eyes viciously as I slowly opened them, quickly turning towards the back of the couch to escape it." Three adverbs in a single sentence is overkill. Use adverbs judiciously and only when they're needed. (Eyes are not often assaulted "gently".)

A few smaller details: "Let's say 12:30. I want to finish up before five...." Either use numerals or words to describe time, but not both in one sentence. Decide on what form you are going to use and stick with it throughout the story.

Also, despite the fact that you are using Grammarly, your punctuation is spotty:

"I hit the button to answer the call and then put it on speakerphone, "Hey there, pretty girl... ". A period is needed after "speakerphone" not a comma.

""That means a lot to me, I absolutely adore you and just cannot imagine my life without you. I really need you to be right next to me through all of this, it will be crazy and stressful..."

Period after "me" . Period after "this" Many examples of this and other punctuation errors throughout the story.

Sorry to be so anal because I really did enjoy your story but I think paying attention to the details I've noted would improve its readability and help your writing overall.

Nicely written!

Good to read, flows really well off the page!

The readability is perfectly fine. If you want 100% grammatical perfection become an English teacher and worry about your students.