Am I a Total Sissy Husband?

Finally, the day came when my wife was headed out of town for a couple of weeks. I'd been thinking about it for months with great excitement. Why is that? Because I couldn't wait to shave off my body hair completely! So, the moment she left the house, I raced home from work as fast as possible, stripped off my clothes, and grabbed my straight razor.

I'm not too hairy to begin with because I did laser hair removal on my back, chest, and stomach. After after about five times, I got really smooth. My wife knew I was doing that and supported me. The problem was that after I got smooth, my butt looked funny because it was too hairy compared to my upper half. So, I laser hair removal my butt and front and underneath, all except the normal little triangle above my little wee wee (which is exactly what I really wanted to do anyway). And after only one try, all the hair was gone forever. Then, with a smooth butt, my hairy legs looked funny. Way too hairy! So, I laser removed my leg hair down past my knees. And wow, again after only one try, I was totally smooth! I knew it was a permanent decision, and that from then on, I'd look less manly forever. Even to this day when I'm wearing shorts around my guy friends, I know they can see my totally smooth upper legs.

The odd part is that my wife never knew that I had done my lower half. In the past, she had expressed disapproval when she would notice or rub my shaved legs or butt. She said several times, "Stop shaving. Men are supposed to have hair on their legs." So, now, I knew it was the point of no return. I would be smooth.

So, when I raced home to shave, it was only to clean up a few straggler hairs, erase all the hair on my crotch and lower legs, and then shave my underarms. So, that's what I did this day. Once I was done, wow, what a feeling. I rubbed my smooth legs and instantly felt a tingle all over my body. It made me feel so soft and sexy, and I realized again how sexy women feel all the time after shaving. My little wee wee got hard as I rubbed my body. Isn't that strange? It made me feel like a girl, and a little sissy husband.

So, let me back up. I've been married 20 years. But soon after our wedding, I realized that sex was not going to be quite like I expected because of a few reasons. First, my wife was never much into sex, but yet, she could get into it and do it often enough, and she definitely did great with her mouth. The main problem was my dick size. I could tell she was often frustrated and confused and looking for a better position. But all my life, I've know that I have a tiny one. I mean, out of all of my friends, mine was the smallest.

How do I know this? Because I've scoped out all of them at one point or another. Every single one has a real man dick. Mine is tiny, skinny, small head, and looks very underdeveloped. It's 4 1/4 " at its largest. It's cute, hard, but tiny. Also, mine is smaller than every guy I've ever seen in the gym showers, or in the bathroom at the urinals. How do I know? Because I always look (even though you're not supposed to), and I'm always the wimpy one with a small wee wee. I can't believe it sometimes how much larger and manly these real men dicks look, with normal sized heads or sometimes huge ones. The head by itself is usually longer than my soft wee wee in its entirety.

Because of my small wee wee, I feel like a little sissy husband.

I had always hoped that whoever I married wouldn't have been with many partners so that she wouldn't know exactly what she was missing. But it was just the opposite. About four years after we were married, and were struggling a lot with sex, she told me that her ex-husband was too big and that she would hurt the next day after sex! Too big? Oh my gosh! How humiliated it made me feel! That meant that she knew that I'm tiny! And likely that I would never be able to satisfy her.

She also asked me if men's dicks grow bigger as they get older! I knew why she was asking. And it was so humiliating. I felt like a total sissy husband. And I realized her ex was a real man. She even told me that when they were breaking up, he would come over and want to have sex. She didn't want to, but would give in and let him do it to her. And she said "It made me so mad because my body would betray me." Oh my gosh. I knew what she meant! She would have orgasms without even wanting to! Whereas with me, even when she wanted to, it was difficult or impossible. How humiliating! How big could his have been? Way too big?

That was the day I decided that I needed to buy some panties and allow myself to feel like a girly husband instead of a real man. I started shaving my lower half ever so often so that my panties would look good on me. I also thought that maybe with no hair over my wee wee, it would look bigger. But I was wrong. It only made me look like a little boy down there. What a sissy!

At this point early in the marriage, the only sex we ever had was when she made a move on me, mostly just because she felt we "need" to do it. She was never much into sex, but could enjoy it good enough. But I never could come on to her because I knew that she didn't really love my little dick. So I couldn't get hard until she touched me and sucked me. So, that made me always wait for her to make the first move, which she got tired of and wondered why I never did it. (It was because I felt like a wimp.) And I started going limp during sex, knowing that it wasn't pleasing her much and feeling like a sissy husband. Sometimes I could stay hard if I imagined her previous husband really giving it to her, and her getting juicy and screaming in ecstasy. Wow. I've never been able to do that to anyone! And other times I would just go limp and we'd have to stop. What a sissy.

So, then began 9 years of no sex. I thought about it a lot, but always chickened out to make a move. And she stopped making the move altogether. So, no sex. Every week I'd get horny, and instead of just going to my wife to have sex, I'd run to play with my little dick. I now like playing with my dick more than having sex with a woman. I no longer feel like a real man, but only a sissy. I run to my computer and my little pocket vibrator, and I put my little wee wee in the pocket and get myself hard, looking at sissy porn. Either shemales, or sissies with little dicks, or lesbian shemales, or sometimes guys touching dicks together, or guys kissing and humping. But always with dicks involved. I like dicks now better than women.

I've always been a dick watcher. Guys in the shower at football practice, or the gym, or even in bathrooms. Every time I go to a public restroom I look over at the guys peeing next to me to see how big they are. And guess what. They are always bigger than me! I have the tiniest wee wee every single time! It's so humiliating, as I remember that I'm just a little sissy man. I even look at men's crotches out in public to see what they're packing. What a little faggot I turned out to be, right?

So, now, with no sex for so long, I just jack off like a little sissy boy. A lot of the time, I even rub it like a girl would, in circles, or up and down with palm down and two fingers. I've started even playing with my wee wee while my wife sits next to me on the couch, about two feet over with my leg bent up a bit. I get horny and go put on some skimpy shorts. Very discreetly so my wife doesn't see, I rub my little clitty like a girl for a while. Then I bring my hand up to my mouth and lick my hand to use my spit to rub myself, the whole time trying not to get caught.

The other day I got close to cumming and began to decide whether to leave the room so she wouldn't see me shaking or something. But then I thought, No, since I'm such a sissy husband, I deserve to sit here and cum on myself and clean myself up. I felt so embarrassed and humiliated. And when the time came, I came in my hand. And did the unthinkable. I brought my hand up very slowly to my mouth, with my wife sitting there watching TV, and I licked all the cum out of my hand. I wiped some of the extra off my wee wee and licked that too. And I just kept sitting there watching TV, knowing that I'm the opposite of a real man. A real man would have just made his wife have sex. But not me. I just played with myself and made myself feel so good.

So in nine years, we've had sex once. About three months ago, my wife came onto me on the couch. I could tell she wanted to have sex, so I ran to the bathroom and took a little penis pill (which she doesn't know I have) so I could get it up with a woman without having to fight the mental side so hard. And we did it. We had sex twice that night on the couch, and afterward, she said "Wow, I'm proud of you. You got it up!" Oh my gosh. She's been thinking all these years that I can't get it up---that I'm a little weak wimp of a husband. How embarrassing.

Also, while we were making out, she rubbed my smooth butt and exclaimed, "You need to stop shaving your butt. Men are supposed to have hair." I responded, "I'm not shaving it." (Because it's permanently smooth from the laser removal). She said, "Oh, I guess men lose their hair as they get older, because you used to have hair."

Did you catch that? I haven't had hair on my butt for 12 years, but she's not realized it. That's because she never touches me, doesn't look at me naked in the bathroom, and does not like my body. (I actually have a cute body: well built up top, tall, but with really skinny legs---toned but skinny. My legs are so skinny that she makes fun of them. They look like girl legs, especially because they're smooth. From the waist down, I could pass for a girl, even with my little tiny clitty which fits perfectly inside my panties.

The other thing I realized that night is that a few days prior that same week, her ex-husband had called her for the first time in 20 years, to talk about some nonsense business matter. She avoided him for a day or two, but finally decided to answer. And that was that. However, think about it! Out of nine years, the week she comes on to me is two days after speaking with her ex-husband, the real man with the real man's dick! That's too coincidental. She was obviously stimulated by the memories of her ex, the real man who used to make her feel good all over.

And then there is me. I've turned into a total sissy boy. A girl, really. I've been rubbing my little pee pee like a girl clitty almost all the time. I've also been eating my own cum every time I play with it. Usually, I put my legs over my head and squirt onto my face and mostly in my mouth. In the past, I always thought about doing that but always chickened out after cumming. But now, I make myself do it because I'm so tiny and gay.

One time I bought a flesh-textured penis extension thinking I might sneak it on while making love to my wife, like a surprise. But then I decided that she'd feel it and would freak out. I chickened out. And then guess what I started doing with the dildo extender. Yep...using it on myself. I had first touched my little girl hole before I was married, and had enjoyed that for a while. But never a dildo. The first time I used it, I was pumping myself slowly, all lubed up. Then I did it faster and was feeling so good. But it got so intense that my little dick went limp. I got on my knees and sat on the dildo and bounced up and down. I started bouncing really hard and fast. My limp clitty was flopping all over while I was bouncing on the dick like a woman. All of a sudden I started feeling an orgasm coming. I wasn't even touching my clitty, but I was about to cum. I thought oh no, I'm about to cum like a girl, just from having a man's dick inside me! I kept riding hard and fast and bam! My totally limp sissy dick started spraying cum all over me and all over the room, flinging cum droplets everywhere, flopping limp and flinging sissy cum all over! I couldn't believe it. I came from only having a dick inside me. It made me feel like a total woman. I knew that no real man would ever have done that. And I loved it.

Afterwards, I looked online for limp dicks cumming like that and saw that there's a term for it---a sissygasm. I had a sissygasm!

I think now I want to be with a man. I want a real man to make love to me. I want him to hold me, kiss me on the lips, and rub his big man dick on my tiny little boy dick. I want us to hump each other standing up, bouncing our dicks on each other. I want to sleep with the man, all night, in bed, naked, holding each other. I want to be romantic with a man, looking at each other in the eyes, rubbing each other, rolling around the bed together. I want the man to put his big meat inside my little hole. I want to feel it. I want him to fuck me like I'm a girl. I want him to put my legs up with my little wee wee pointing toward my face. It will be so hard. I always get so hard when a man is inside me. I will probably cum without touching myself. I'll cum like a little sissy just from having a man go in and out of me.

I want to then bounce up and down on the man's real man dick. I want to bounce and bounce and bounce like a woman, while my dick is flopping all over the place, having gone limp. My limp dick will probably be flinging cum everywhere, flopping like a little tiny sissy limp dick while I ride the man. Then I hope he will come inside me so I can feel it. I want to be kissing him as he cums in me, really making love to him and making the man feel good like real men should feel. And he can cum all in me as we lay there kissing like gay lovers. That makes me gay. So gay. I want the cum to run down my legs after we get up. I want to remember that the man has made me his girlfriend. I want to go put my panties on now and refresh my makeup and lipstick, so the man can cuddle with me properly.

I can no longer get hard for women. Because I'm a faggot. I am totally gay now. I am about to cum in my pants now at work. My office door is locked. I'm totally naked except for my panties. I'm rubbing my clitty through my panties, in circles, and also with palm down and 2 fingers. And I plan to eat my own cum after I squirt my little boy load in my panties.

I am a real sissy husband. Right?