Am I KC or Casey? Ch. 04

Casey's POV

I was so happy to see Johnathan. No. That's not exactly right.

I was beyond elated. Kevin and Miranda were right, he had the right to know the truth. When I told him the truth he understandably blew up at me and left.

l was an absolute disaster. l felt like I was the most horrible person on planet Earth. Kevin and Miranda certainly tried to console me but it was no use. I cried and cried and cried. I couldn't eat or sleep and briefly considered suicide. I met an absolutely fantastic man that I mislead and lied to. I felt like I didn't deserve to have him or anyone else.

At one point I hated Kevin and the team for changing me. This was so unfair! Why did they give me this taste and then change me back? My thoughts then went to Johnathan. If I hadn't had this experience he and I would have never met. Now that he knows who I am he probably hates me, I can't blame him though. He met and had sex with what he thought was a cicgender woman.

I knew that I could count on Kevin and Miranda for support through my transition but I wanted Johnathan there too. l was a fool for falling in love with the man knowing full well that I would have to change back. Maybe I can try to reconnect with him out once I am fully transitioned.

...

"Hello KC."

"It's Casey."

"Yes. Casey."

My heart leaped for joy when he sat next to me and reached for my hand. I wanted so badly to kiss him but I knew that I had to take it slow.

"Thank you for coming," I gently said with a warm genuine smile.

"You look different, but I am told that you are Casey."

"Right. Nothing was done to my brain, just my body. Now it is my turn to change my body into the woman you met."

"Are you gay?" Johnathan inquired.

"No. As I told you, full and complete transparency here. No more lies. I did have what most people would call gay sex with men, but I did it as my female alter ego. When I was at work and out in the general public I dressed and behaved as a man. I also had a secret side. I dressed and behaved as a woman. It is called transfluid. I was comfortable in both roles."

"So does that mean when you are in guy mode that you are going to want to drink beer and watch sports?"

"Yes and no. KC is forever gone. No more guy mode. I will still drink some beer but as you know I prefer cider or wine. And I still like some sports."

l paused a moment to let it sink in. "The woman you met a few weeks ago is still here," I said tapping a finger on my temple. "Same likes, dislikes, emotions, habits and such. The only thing temporarily different is this male body."

"Well, one thing for sure is that you are no longer going on a ride on the back of my motorcycle while you have that thing," as he pointed to my crotch.

...

A week later, Johnathan and I met for dinner at a quiet casual restaurant. We had texted each other a few times but this was the first time we were face to face since the recovery room.

"How did it go with HR?" Johnathan asked after we were seated.

"Very well." My first day back to work I dressed as KC and had a meeting with HR after lunch. A couple of people to include my supervisors were brought into the meeting and informed of my transition. The first thing I did that night was donate 100% of my male attire to charity.

My second day back, l went work in a blouse, below the knee skirt, low heels, and conservative makeup. Most of my coworkers were very supportive. One woman that I work very closely with was suspecting that this world happen. By the end of the week the office was back to normal as if I had been like this all along.

"When you were in the recovery room you kind of looked androgynous. But now you look very..." Johnathan replied then pausing as if he was unsure if he was ready to express his next word.

Inside, I was bursting at the seams anticipating the completion of his sentence. On the outside, I put up a perfect poker face as I patiently waited.

"You look very pretty."

l broke out in a huge smile and almost cried with happiness. "Thank you so much Johnathan, you have no idea how good it feels to hear you to say that."

"I really like you Casey," as he reached for my hand across the table, "I like how you look now. You are very pretty and if I didn't know the truth I would have no idea that you are a guy." Then, after a pause, "Does that make me gay?"

l fought the urge to laugh. "No honey," I reassured him, "You don't have worry about your sexuality. Remember, I am a woman that temporarily has a male body. You are attracted to a woman who happens to currently have a penis."

"You are going to get it chopped off. Right?"

"Chopped off is one way to put it. Another way is that I will have an orchiectomy to remove my testicles. Then I will have a vaginoplasty to remove the penis and create a cavity."

"Are you going to get breast implants?"

"Most likely. With hormone replacement therapy I will naturally grow some breast tissue. Only time will tell how much."

"You had some beautiful breasts before."

"Thank you," I smiled as I squeezed his hand. "I was a C cup before. I could go up to a D"

That's up to you, but I wouldn't complain. Like I said, they were fantastic before."

...

On the way to my car Johnathan held my hand. His touch was electrifying and being seen expressing a public display of affection from him was out of this world.

"I've missed you." Johnathan said as we got to my car.

"I've missed you too," as I looked up into his handsome brown eyes.

Still unsure of himself, he tentatively reached out and pulled me in for light embrace. I wrapped my arms around him and we just gazed at each other for a moment.

Softly I said, reassuring him, "I am Casey. I am the woman you met a few weeks ago."

With a free hand he gently caressed cheek and barely above a whisper, "Casey," accenting his word with a brief kiss on my lips.

"Oh Johnathan," was my whispered reply. My hands caressed his back as he pulled me in tight for a long deep kiss. Thankfully, my penis was tightly tucked away in a gaff. At that point, If he felt a dick that wasn't his I feared that it would've been game over between the two of us.

After way too soon he broke the kiss. "You...ummmm...want to come over to my place?"

"Only if you are ready."

"Yeah I think so."

...

"I need a drink. Do you want one?" Johnathan asked as soon as we entered his apartment.

"Yes please."

Reaching up into the cabinet he pulled out a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. He was obviously in need of a little liquid courage. As he made our drinks I glanced around the place. My overnight bag was haphazardly packed with my things and on the floor by the front door. I also noticed that our sloppy ribs pic was still on the side table by the couch.

"I hope that it is not too strong for you," as he handed me a glass.

Taking a sip I replied, "Perfect! You always make a fantastic drink."

"You want to sit down?" leading me to the couch. I sat closely next to him, but not quite touching.

As we sat, he picked up the framed photograph and looking at it, "This is one of my favorite memories with you."

"I would like to create more memories with you," I said softly, my fingers grazing lightly on his arm in a sign of affection.

He turned to face me, "So do I," and briefly kissed me.

Johnathan finished his drink, set it on the table, took mine, and finished it too. "Come here," as he beckoned me to sit on his lap, straddling him in a move we had done before.

I quickly scrambled. Kicking off my heels and swinging a leg splaying out my dress over him we sat face to face.

Johnathan pulled me in tight for a long kiss. Tongues swirling and fighting over each other in wet hot passion.

Pulling away for a breather, "You know Casey, one of the things that I like best about you is that you are a fabulous kisser."

Blushing, I replied smiling, "Thank you! You are a fantastic kisser too."

Without warning Johnathan confidently announced, "Lets do this," and quickly wrapped his arms around me before standing up.

I shrieked in surprise and held on tight. My legs naturally fell to the floor and I smoothed out my dress as he gently set me down. Then taking my hand led me to the bedroom.

Once inside, I unbuttoned his shirt taking a moment to admire his dark muscular chest. With long arms he reached behind unzipping my dress.

"Take it off, I want to see."

I sexily wiggled out of my dress maintaining eye contact with him. Standing before him in just lingerie I struck a fashion pose with one leg bent at an angle and my hands on my hips, head cocked, waiting for further instructions.

"Ok, not bad. Keep going."

His face was not easy to read in the dim light but the voice conveyed approval. From many years of crossdressing my body was virtually hairless from depilatory creams and at home waxing. Electrolysis on problem areas was high on my to do list. HRT is also going to help rid body hair. I also regularly use a variety of skin creams to keep myself soft and feminine.

I unclasped my bra and shrugged off the shoulder straps. Inside the bra was inserts to help fill out my figure until my breasts came in. Showing the inserts to Johnathan, "Until I have real ones."

"I see. Gonna take some getting used to. l know that you won't always need those. Come here."

He grabbed my ass as he latched onto a nipple with his mouth. I let out a pleasurable moan as he lightly bit and suckled my flat chest. I unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants. Reminiscing of our first time together I reached inside and wrapped my fingers around his thick black cock. "Is this still for me?"

Releasing the nipple he was working on, "Yes baby it is," and kissed me.

After a few strokes I felt him go from semi hard to full on rock solid wood. I released his dick and fell to my knees as I pulled his pants down, engulfing his cock into my hungry mouth.

"Oooohhh baby! Damm that feels good!" he moaned out as I bobbed up and down on his member. Some people think that it is degrading when a woman sucks dick with him standing and her kneeling. Not me. It is one of my favorite sexual positions and I get an incredible feeling of empowerment and control.

Every so often I would release the shaft so I could tongue his big, hairy, low hanging balls. Rolling them around in my mouth I stroked his hard veiny cock with a soft hand. Then,after running a wet tongue along the length, I took him in my mouth again.

"Ah shit Casey!" he moaned out as he ran his fingers through my hair. I would have been more than happy to have him cum in my mouth, but he had other ideas.

"I am absolutely loving what you are doing," as he pulled out of my mouth before lifting me to my feet, "but we need to get this over with."

l understood that he was ready to see the full me. I took a nervous step or two back. Afraid to look at him, hooking my fingers under my panties and gaff I pulled them down letting my testicles and limp penis swing free.

"Come here honey," Johnathan gently urged.

l tentatively closed the gap between us still unable to look at him my head hung low, eyes closed, heart beating a thousand times a minute, unable to breathe.

"I am not ok with it and at the same time I am," as he delicately touched my cheek turning my face to his. "WE are ok," reassuring me with an emphasis on we.

"We are?" I asked in a small voice, looking up at him as a single tear rolled down my cheek.

"Yes baby we are," as he wiped away the tear.

Finally able to breathe, I wrapped my arms around him in relief hugging him tight as happy tears came flooding out being careful not to touch him with my penis. Then, releasing him we kissed as I ran my hands over his sexy naked body feeling his cock harden again between us. It had gone soft during my reveal.

Pulling out of the kiss, and with a hand in my ass crack, with a finger very close to the hole, he asked, "Do you still?..." wanting to ask but ever the gentleman was hesitant to come out and say it.

"Yes. Most definitely, just like before with lots of lube."

"Ok, how should we do this?"

l went over to the nightstand, retrieved the bottle of lube and tossed it to him. Then I jumped on the bed on my hands and knees bent over face down and wiggled my butt invitingly. "How about we start with this."

Johnathan grinned as he opened the bottle. I should have been ready, but I still jumped when the cool liquid hit my ass as he began to stretch out my hole. When the first finger went in I moaned in pleasure. "Oooohh baby that feels so good, give me another."

Sliding a second finger in my asshole and after see sawing in and out a few times Johnathan asked, "Are you sure you want me in there? You are so tight, I don't think that I will fit."

"Oh darling you have no idea how much I want you to fuck me in the ass!"

"Hahaha," he chuckled, "Ok, you asked for it!" grabbing the lube and coating his big hard dick. My ass and his cock were super slippery, but my ring still provided resistance when he tried to enter. "I told you. Its not going to fit."

Determined to get him inside I pushed my asshole out then pushed back hard as I released and the head popped in. "Unh," I grunted in pain but kept him inside as I became accustomed to the invader.

"Baby! Are you ok?" with concern.

"Yes, just give me a second."

Slowly I began pushing back and pulling out a bit as I stretched out.

"More lube please."

Popping open the lube again he smeared more on his dick and around my entrance as I slowly fucked him with my ass. Soon, he firmly grabbed my hips and took over gradually increasing speed.

"Yeah baby! Fuck me! Fuck my ass! Fuck me with your big dick!"

"Fucking hell yes! I love fucking you in the ass!" he grunted out.

After slamming me for a while he pulled out and demanded, "On your back!"

I flipped over raising my legs in the air as he hastily refreshed the lube before shoving back inside with one stroke. As he slowly fucked me he looked at my hard 5" dick as if trying to make a decision.

"It's ok honey, just pretend that its not there."

"I can't believe that I am doing this," he said mostly to himself as he took ahold of my dick as he stroked in and out. "I want to make you feel good and make you happy."

"Oh baby, just being with you makes me happy!" I gushed.

He picked up the pace on my ass again as he jerked me off. All too soon he started pounding me harder. "FUUUUUUCK!" He screamed out as he spurted hot jets of cum into my sloppy ass.

"Fuck yeah! Fucking cum in my ass!" I yelled out. "I'm cumming too!" as I shot ropes of sperm onto my belly.

Johnathans speed slowed as we came down from our orgasms and released the hold on my dick. Leaning forward to kiss me, his softening cock slipped out of my ass.

l wanted nothing more than to snuggle up next to him and tell him about how he is such a fantastic lover he is, but I was a mess and needed to get cleaned up. "Be right back," I said as I quickly ran to the bathroom. Upon sitting on the toilet I ran the sink for some warm water while I evacuated our mess. I grabbed a washcloth, cleaned up my cum before it dried and swabbed my gaping asshole.

After rinsing out the washcloth I walked back into the bedroom to find Johnathan looking so sexy laying naked on the bed.

"Hey baby," he greeted me with a happy satisfied smile.

"Hey you," I smiled as I tenderly washed him with the warm cloth.

"I think that this is going to work."

"Yeah?" as I crawled in bed to kiss him.

"Yeah," as he kissed me back.